The Teachers' Notebook
by alittleinsane963
Summary: Inside this story you will find the chronicles of the 7 years of torture the staff of Hogwarts had to endure, from their point of view, due to 4 boys. That's right. None other than James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.
1. FIRST YEAR

So we all know that all the professors in the books know about pretty much everything going on all the time. Here's a possible solution as to how they do it.

* * *

MAURAUDER ERA – First Year

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

**Slughorn**

* * *

_HA! Imagine that! A Black in Gryffindor!_

Young Sirius has problems in store for him, I'm sure Walburga won't be too pleased.

_Let her scream. _

You aren't going to have to deal with her screaming! I am!

**Minerva McGonagall! A BLACK!? I was really rather hoping to have him in Slytherin…**

_Pity. _

**Indeed it is. However, I hope he does well. And there is still his younger brother.**

_For all we know, he might be a Hufflepuff! Houses don't necessarily run in families. Mine has been all over the place._

**Oh yes. I remember you're parents were a few years behind me! Your father was a Ravenclaw and your mother a Hufflepuff, no?**

_Correct, though I'm a little frightened you remember._

Minerva McGonagall, frightened? It can't be!

_Ah ha ha ha._

**I remember a lot of things. Example, I have just remembered that we actually have to wake up tomorrow for classes, and it is therefore bedtime! Goodnight, Albus, Minerva!**

…_He really needs to go to sleep at nine to wake up at seven?_

Horace has always needed more sleep than most. I've seen him when he doesn't get enough sleep. It's quite an entertaining sight, actually…

_Right, I'll just take your word for that one. Please tell me I'm wrong when I say that I've heard tales of James Potter being an extreme prankster…_

From what I've heard, I can't tell you wrong. Mr. and Mrs. Potter haven't ever been terribly stern with him.

_I just had the last school pranksters in my house! Don't I even get a YEAR to recover?_

Minerva, when you were in school the staff didn't even have SUMMER to recover. 

_Not my fault that my father taught Magical Creatures and my mum liked having parties, and that they let me have Rolanda and Pomona and Poppy over when said parties occurred. You never had to go, you know._

Yes, but it would seem rude and they actually were rather fun.

_Speaking of "fun" how are we going to deal with Remus Lupin?_

I didn't talk to you about that?

_No…_

Well… we have until the next full moon to figure that out.

_ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE!! IT WAS YOUR _

_RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF THAT!_

I was too busy trying to find a new Magical Creatures teacher.

_It only took you a week to settle on Kettleburn!_

Oh, yes. I suppose it did….

_Albus…_

Look at that! Time for your patrol!

_Lies! My patrol isn't for another half an hour!_

Not anymore! I changed it.

_Then I'll be late. We need to figure this out NOW!_

Might I suggest talking to Poppy? After all, she will be the one taking care of him afterwards and all…

_Wait a second! You're not trying to pin this on ME?_

You are his Head of House…

_This was supposed to be sorted out before he was sorted!_

Ah ha! Very punny!

_ALBUS! Focus, or I'll make sure the house elves don't serve you hot chocolate for a week._

Fine by me. I have my own super-secret stash!

_ALBUS! REMUS LUPIN! WEREWOLF AT HOGWARTS!_

Alright! Well, he definitely needs to be off grounds…

_Oh, there's a stroke of genius._

I really don't appreciate the sarcasm, Minerva.

_I really don't appreciate the fact that you didn't sort out the problem of having to deal with a werewolf._

Point taken. Well, you're the former prankster here, how do we get him off the grounds without others noticing?

_Well, Rolanda and I didn't start sneaking out until fifth year when we managed to become animagi…_

Gah! 

_We could've had PLENTY of time to sort this out – _

I know! 

_What about a secret passageway?_

I'm sure it would be discovered.

_How about you do what you should have done over the summer and think of a better way. I have to go patrol now. But remember this, by failing to come up with a plan you have managed to endanger everyone within Hogwarts!_

You're too good at laying on the guilt.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

If I have any wrong facts, let me know and Ill try to fix them... well... really outstanding things.

Pssst... Any betas out there?

Moving right along...

* * *

_**TWO**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick

* * *

_

Minerva! Its only the first week of school and I'm already having problems with your house.

_Noooo! Please do NOT tell me I have to deal with troublemakers this early!_

Ok, I won't TELL you….

_Pomona!_

I didn't say anything!

_But you implied._

Well, while I'm implying, I'll take the liberty of implying that two of your house, for the sake of the conversation, let's call them James Potter and Sirius Black, got the bright idea of having a mud fight in the middle of class.

_Oh, goody. I have them in class next._

Oooo! Have fun!

_Yeah. Thanks._

* * *

_WHY me?_

What happened now?

_Potter and Black! That's what happened!_

They seem to have adjusted very well…

_They know our names! They've adjusted so well so fast it's a little frightening._

How do you know they know our names?

_They took the liberty of addressing me as 'Minerva' instead of the preferred 'Professor.' _

Hold on; give me a second to laugh so I can write legibly.

_I don't find this very amusing, Pomona! It won't be long before others follow suite! How will I retain order in my classroom then?_

What's happened?

It seems out new trouble makers have been making friends in the upper years and learning things first years normally don't.

Such as?

_First names._

Really? Well, I think it's fantastic that they're making friends who will help them out.

_You call friends people who give you ideas to disrespect teachers fantastic?_

Ohhh. Is THAT what happened? I must say, they truly are showing their Gryffindor bravery! Calling you 'Minerva' on their second class with you!

_I'm surrounded by enemies! _

Oh, come on, Minerva!

…

Minerva?

…

I do believe she left.

Sad! I was hoping to ask what else they did!

What do you mean, what else?

Well surely they did something else. She wouldn't get that upset over first name terms. That's happened before.

Bullocks. Now I want to know too, Pomona!

_Does anyone know any particular reason why Minerva is muttering to herself?_

Oooo! It must be worse than I though. Excuse me, gentlemen! I have so gossiping to do!

_What was that about?_

Misters Potter and Black thought it'd be entertaining to start calling teachers by their first name.

_Is that so? _

_Oh no, I'll get back to you later, Albus! It just so happens that Mr. Potter and Mr. Black are in my class now and… MR. POTTER LET THAT POOR GIRL DOWN!_

…I'll ask later?­­­

* * *

_Filius! What happened with the first years today?_

_Why do you ask?_

_Because I just found Lily Evans stomping around the ladies' room saying she can't wait to learn some curses…._

_Oh. That. Well, I was teaching the students levitating charms, like I always start them with. James Potter was doing very well, and he decided to try levitating a person. I believe he was aiming for Mr. Black, but he missed…_

_I don't think a student would get so upset over being levitated for a few seconds on accident…_

_The class was with Slytherins, and it was less than a few seconds. Potter became so shocked he lost focus and she fell face first to the floor._

_Poor girl!_

_STUBBORN girl. Potter tried apologizing afterwards and she hissed something and walked away… more like stormed away, actually._

_If there's one thing I hate its rivalries within a House! Why mine? _

_People like picking on your House, I guess._

_They ought to stop. Its giving me more wrinkles than necessary._

GUESS WHAT!!

_WHAT?_

I HAVE BAD NEWS!!

_I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!_

Well then, you better shut you're book.

_With pleasure._

_What happened, Albus?_

Tom Riddle has decided to come back into society!

_…_

I know! Horrible, isn't it?

_You know this how?_

He just owled me for an interview!

…_You're planning on telling Minerva, correct?_

Not a chance!

_She should have warning!_

That would ruin the fun!

_I think she's had enough 'fun' with Mr. Riddle!_

Filius, do you honestly think I'm that cruel? Of couse she'll know he's coming! …Now who should I get to tell her that? … Filius! My right-hand man!

_No!_

sigh Fine. I'm off to go have my eardrums burst. When I'm deaf, I'll have you to thank!

_You are so bad at trying to make people feel guilty!_

Only on paper! 

What's happened?

_Oh nothing much…_

Filius… you aren't good at lying, even on paper.

_Tom Riddle's coming here for an interview! _

NO! You're joking! Tell me you're joking, Filius!

_Believe me, I wish I could._

POPPY!!

_Poppy? _

She's going to need to get quite a few things ready.

_Such as?_

Potions to speed up the healing of Albus's eardrums, by the sound of it.

…_Isn't your office a floor above Minerva's?_

Yup.

_I'LL get Poppy, you help Albus out of there._

Let me find earplugs first, she's still screaming…

_Pomona, you're a witch!_

I'm using the earplugs AND magic.

_JUST GO SAVE ALBUS!_

Alright!


	3. Chapter 3

Whats the Marauder Era without some stuff from the Marauders?

**_THREE – weeks later in Charms_**

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Hey! Sirius!

**Hey! James! What?**

Guess what James found!

**What did James find?**

I said guess, dunderhead.

**You know I won't guess it, and you know you want to tell me.**

_Tell Sirius what?_

REMUS! You're back!

_Yeah, sorry for running out of class like that…and then not coming back for two days…_

**JAMES POTTER! TELL ME WHAT YOU FOUND!**

Would you mind NOT throwing the paper when Flitwick is looking at you? It tends to arouse suspicion!

**Then tell me!**

_Please do, James. He's making too much noise, jumping up and down the way he is. I can't concentrate on what Flitwick is saying!_

You'll want in on this too, trust me, dear Remmy!

**Screw Remus! Tell me what you found!**

_Hey!_

Alright. I'll spare you, Remmy. I found a teachers' notebook!

**…What?**

The teachers' notebook! Honestly, haven't you ever heard of it?

_No way that actually exists. They wouldn't risk students finding it._

Oh, well trust me; I had to go through a bit of trouble to get it.

**And you didn't bring me? James, I'm hurt.**

ANYWAY! So this one time I heard McGonagall shrieking like you wouldn't BELIEVE. I went to her office in time to see Sprout helping a pained looking Dumbledore out of McGonagall's office, and then they were followed by Madam Pomfery trying to calm dear old Minerva down as they walked. So I decided, "What the heck, James! Why don't you see if you can find out what made her scream!" And I happened to stumble upon a little notebook on top of her desk, but just then, Flitwick came in, so all I got to see was a bit of writing before he put it into McGonagall's desk.

**And you didn't try to get it then?**

_What I'm wondering is how you got out without Flitwick seeing you._

**Jamie has an invisibility cloak. You didn't know?**

_Wicked!_

It is pretty awesome. As to answer you, Sirius, I DID try to get it then…

**So you've had it for weeks now?**

No. I said I TRIED to get it.

**What happened?**

McGonagall's drawer bit me!

…

Sirius, quit laughing!

_You have to admit that it's funny, James!_

….yeah. Ok. It is pretty funny. But Flitwick is starting to stare and I don't want him reading this…

* * *

**_TRANSFIGURATION_**

Stupid book!

_Hmmm?_

The book won't open!

_Ohhh… you mean the notebook that you really shouldn't be messing with now, considering its owner is about 30 feet in front of you?_

That's the one!

_-rolls eyes-_

**Just rip it open, James!**

It hisses then… loudly.

**…**

I tried it last night when you were asleep!

**Quit going on adventures without me!**

I was in our dorm! I didn't go anywhere!

James… Professor McGonagall, I believe, is trying to get your attention…

* * *

"Hello, Professor!"

"Potter, might I ask why you are choosing to write notes to your friends as opposed to listening in class?"

"Awe. Minerva! You know I only pretend to pay attention and then get notes from someone else later!"

"Mr. Lupin, might I advise you to advise your friends to take their own notes?"

"I've tried. They just steal them now," Remus responded while looking pointedly at Sirius.

"That was ONE time!" Sirius said.

"Are you SERIOUS?"

"Yes, I am Sirius!"

"You can do better than THAT, Sirius, seriously!" James grinned as he spoke.

"Enough!" McGonagall snapped, "10 points from Gryffindor, and it'll be detention if you don't stop disrupting my class!"

"Yes ma'am!" Sirius saluted.

Professor McGonagall returned to the front of the room, speaking as she walked, "Now that we have everyone's attention, I'd like to speak to you all about something. By now, you should all know that stealing is wrong. Recently, something has been taken from my office, information is much appreciated," the bell rang. "Off to your next class!"

James felt his Professor's glare on his back until he turned at the doorway.

* * *

**_LIBRARY_**

_SHE KNOWS! Turn it in, James!_

NEVER! Not until I get the stupid thing open and read it! Think of all the things we could get away with because of this!

_James! That's BLACKMAIL!_

**You know, I really don't like that term….**

_Butt out, Black!_

Now, now. Don't worry, Remmy. I know its blackmail.

_So turn that book in!_

I'd really rather not.

_Fine! You're funeral!_

* * *

Calling all betas in need of a story to edit!

Reviews make me happy! Click the button, pwease? -pitiful sniff-


	4. Chapter 4

Hoorah! Another update!

Thanks to all those who reviewed, all of them made me happy!

If you don't like my story, please tell me how I can improve it. (any typos that may occur will hopefully soon be gone. Trying to work out this whole beta thing... -sticks sign to forehead that says "newbie"- Yes, 'tis true. I'm clueless!)

* * *

**_FOUR_**

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_Alright! Did one of you take it as some sort of joke?_

Take what, my dear?

_My notebook!_

You're writing in it…

_No, I'm writing on spare parchment I enchanted. My notebook is missing!_

_I don't have it. I'm not stupid enough to take it from YOU._

Why take yours when I have my own? I'm really surprised that you even suspect us.

_I already asked the students about it!_

…and you expect them to come forward?

_Am I wrong to hope? Horace._

_…_

_HORACE!_

**Sorry! I had to get the crystallized pineapple off my fingers. Don't want my quill to get all sticky! No, I don't have any information on your notebook.**

_Well, someone's got it and they better give it back soon._

It will turn up eventually.

_Hopefully before someone reads it._

Oh dear…. We do need to find that as soon as possible.

_Have you tried Summoning it?_

_Of course I have! I'm not quite that thick, thank you very much. It didn't work._

**I'm sure you just misplaced it, Minerva.**

_Horace Slughorn, I do NOT misplace things!_

**Well, you never know! Maybe you were distracted and just put it down and forgot to pick it up again.**

_I DON'T MISPLACE THINGS!_

For heaven's sake! Calm down!

_I can't calm down! There are things in these notebooks no student should EVER know!_

**If its not back in a week, why not have the house elves search the dorms for it?**

Fantastic idea, Horace!

_Now that we're all good and stressed out about secrets to be revealed, let's go to bed, and in the morning pretend we got some amount of sleep?_

Agreed.

* * *

**_Meanwhile, in the first year Gryffindor boys' dorm…_**

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Remus… PLEASE??

_No! James, put the stupid notebook back! I'm not going to curse it open!_

Who said anything about cursing it open?

**Yeah…**

_I don't know what you're thinking, but NO!_

So, this is our idea,

_I don't want to hear it!_

**Which is why we're writing it as opposed to telling you.**

Now, we'll give McGonagall her book back…. after we've duplicated it.

_Well then you might as well not give it back!_

**Come on now, Remus, we all know how you LOVE to play teacher. You'd be able to REALLY play teacher with this!**

_Shut up._

I think you should do it, Remus!

Thank you, Peter!

_Hey! Peter! Whose side are you on?_

Hold on… Let me think about this a minute….

…

James and Sirius's side.

_-sigh- Well, there goes my chance at an ally. Give me the book, my parents are visiting tomorrow. I'll tell them it's for us._

I'm not giving you this notebook until I see your parents with my own eyes!

Remus, stop growling like that! Its scary!

* * *

Step One: Push the button that says review.

Step Two: write a review, wether it be good or bad.

Step Three: Push send.

Step Four: Collect your e-galleons from the author once the review is recieved. Yes, my friends. E-galleons.


	5. Chapter 5

Another update! Yay me! I'm so on top of things... for once. I'm normally the kid that's doing their homework at nine, or at the end of the line... well... that's because I don't tie my shoes... I need those velcro ones.

Anywho... Read on!

**_

* * *

_****_FIVE – even more weeks later_**

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_GUESS WHAT I FOUND!!_

ATLANTIS!

_No._

Two more guesses!

_Oooo!! Ooo!! Did you find the end of Pi?_

_No, again! Serious guess this time, please?_

Did you by change find my glasses? They seemed to have vanished.

_No. See if Fawkes took them again._

_Alright, we've used all three guesses, now tell us!_

Ah! Fawkes did have them! That's the third time this week! Blasted bird.

_ANYWAY! I found my NOTEBOOK!_

**I told you that you misplaced it!**

_I DIDN'T!!_

**Well you just said you FOUND it, implying that you lost it!**

_It was in a student's desk at the end of the day! Someone was trying to frame someone else, no one's stupid enough to leave it in their own desk._

_Or DID they leave it in their own desk because they knew you'd think what you're thinking?_

_Quit confusing me, Filius._

_But its SO much fun._

Whose desk was it in?

_That's why I think someone is trying to frame someone else. The book was in Lily Evans' desk!_

**Don't you even THINK of accusing that girl!**

_I'm NOT accusing one of your Slug Club, Horace, no need to fear. I think it was someone else, and if I ever find out who it was… I'm just going to stop writing before I have something down in INK that I'll regret._

SELF CONTROL FROM MINERVA MCGONAGALL OUTSIDE OF CLASS!! Someone call the Prophet! This is an event all should know about!

_Shut it, Albus._

Now that I've had my fun…

I HAVE NEWS!!

MORE GOOD NEWS?

I don't know. Is the fact that Tom Riddle failed to show up for his interview a good thing?

_AHHH!! FANTASTIC NEWS!!_

**Pity. I was looking forward to saying hello to the boy!**

_Horace…_

**Minerva?**

_Don't speak well of that demon in front of me!_

**Technically, I'm several levels below you, not in front of you.**

_Oooo! Go stuff yourself with crystallized pineapple!_

**Never fear! I'm working on it!**

I HAVE NEWS!!

_Again?_

More news? Do tell!

I'VE JUST RECEIVED AN OWL!

_-gasp- NO WAY! That NEVER happens in the wizarding world!_

If you'd let me FINISH, I could tell you the significance of this owl!

_I'm sorry, I'm really too happy right now to care!_

Sorry, but I must destroy your euphoria.

_… Please don't?_

Albus, what happened?

Well, you see, this owl pelted my window…

_ALBUS CUT TO THE POINT! Now you've got me on edge!_

Because you're NEVER on edge.

_ALBUS!!_

I lied.

_About what?_

Mr. Riddle not coming back…

**What? You mean we DO get to see him again? Jolly good!**

_HORACE SLUGHORN, STOP IT!!_

Yes, Riddle IS coming back.

_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!_

The owl I just got was from him, asking if he could come tomorrow and apologizing for not coming in today.

_TELL HIM NO!!_

That'd be rude!

_Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, rest assured that if you hire him, that'll be the last day you see me!_

…So since Minerva obviously isn't going to come play chess, would anyone else care to?

* * *

Reviews make me happy. A happy me gives out more e-galleons. The more e-galleons you get, the more e-Hogwarts stuff you can buy! Come on, win-win situation. All you have to do is click the button and type out a sentance or two.


	6. Chapter 6

Look at me! Yet another update!

* * *

_**SEVEN**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Ahhh. Off scratch free!

_I can't believe you tried to frame LILY, of all people._

We both know McGonagall would never believe Evans would've taken her notebook.

**Speaking of the notebook, why won't it open?**

I don't know. I've been trying!

Maybe we should ask one of the Professors?

**Oh, there's a good idea. "Excuse me, Professor Sprout? So Jamesie here stole Professor McGonagall's teachers' notebook, and we were wondering, how do you get them open?"**

So?

**You don't see a problem in that question there, Peter?**

No.

**Wooooowwwww.**

_Leave him alone, Sirius._

Peter, we can't tell another professor that we stole a Professor's Notebook!

My mummy always told me to be honest…

You don't know when to disregard that rule? Are you serious, Peter?

**No, that's me!**

_That's getting old, Sirius!_

**Awe. Stop growing up, Remus!**

_One of us needs to._

**Nuh- uh.**

_Yes-huh._

**Nuh- uh!**

_Yes-huh!_

**NUH-UH!**

_YES-HUH!_

**AH! REMUS HASN'T REALLY GROWN UP!!**

_I'm grown up compared to you._

Everyone's grown up compared to Sirius.

Are you guys really fighting over this?

**Yes we are, Peter!**

Awesome! Can I join in?

_No._

Why?

_Because the argument is over._

No its not.

_Yes it is, Peter._

Ok.

Back to the notebook problem… Any ideas on how to get it open?

_If I did I wouldn't tell you._

**HE KNOWS! GRAB HIM!!**

_NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER, SIRIUS!_

* * *

**So, Remus. What will it be? Telling us your idea and being let go or not telling us and be moved to the staffroom, leading to many questions.**

Won't it be hard for Remmy to write with James sitting on him?

**Point taken, Petey. What now, James?**

What now? We have to revert to talking, that's what's now!

* * *

"Remus! Tell us what your idea was!" James said.

"I don't have one! Get off, James!"

"We can't let you up until you tell us what you're idea is!" Sirius grinned as he spoke.

"You guys, this isn't funny, let me up!"

"We told you we can't."

"Peter!"

"I'm not quite stupid enough to go up against both Sirius and James, sorry Remus," Peter said, while not looking at Remus.

"JAMES! GET OFF!"

"I can't, Remmy! Not until you tell us your idea so we can blackmail the teachers and get out of trouble any time we want," James explained as if to a little child.

Remus twitched wildly under James. "JAMES! THIS ISNT FUNNY ANYMORE! LET ME UP, NOW!"

"James, Sirius, maybe you should let him up! After all, a teacher could walk by this classroom anytime and bust us…" Peter suggested shyly.

"Where's your sense of fun, Peter? Don't you want to know how to open it?"

Before Peter could answer Sirius, the door flew open and Professor McGonagall stood in the doorway. "What is with all this screaming? I could hear you all the way down the hall!"

Remus twitched again and cried out desperately, "PROFESSOR!"

McGonagall's face was suddenly devoid of color. "POTTER! Off, now!"

James hastened to obey, and Remus popped right up. The Professor grabbed Remus and started pulling him along as fast as she could go, reprimanding her student, "When that kind of thing happens, forget about blending in and get yourself out!"

* * *

Do you guys think we hurt Remus?

**I don't know. I checked the hospital wing during break and Madam Pomfery said he wasn't there.**

He isn't in our dorms either.

I can't find McGonagall to ask. Where could he be?!

* * *

I apologize for the serious turn, I really do. But I am a drama queen, and I have to get drama out somehow. Things will return to normal humor status in a few chapters, so I'll keep updating fast until the seriousness is over.

Reviews will make me smile! Unfortunately, I've gone e-Gringotts bankrupt... so until I can make some more e-money, free e-cockroach clusters to reviewers! Sorry, would you have prefered blood pops? Or maybe acid pops? Thats the only stuff I can afford! -tears-


	7. Chapter 7

Update, update UPDATE!! YAY! Read and enjoy!

Oh, if you're wondering why there are two chapter sevens, I messed up on the actual document. So here's the REAL chapter seven.

* * *

_**SEVEN**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

_Flitwick_

Sprout

**Slughorn**

_**Pomfery**_

* * *

Minerva? Where are you? We were supposed to have a finance meeting!

_Currently? I'm sitting on a hospital bed, trying to hide my notebook from Poppy like some ill-experienced first year._

Hospital bed? What happened?

_-sigh- Well, I've a rather nasty cut on my leg, and – Poppy's coming back. I'll tell you later._

WHAT? NO! You can't just leave me in this state of curiosity! Minerva!

What happened now?

Pomona, you truly are the Queen of Gossip.

Why, thank you, Albus! Now tell me what happened!

I'd love to, but I don't know myself.

_**Albus? This is Poppy.**_

No need to explain, dear, I'm familiar with your handwriting.

_**Yes, well I'm writing in Minerva's book.**_

Ohhhh, she got caught, did she?

_**In more ways than one. You need to find a substitute for tomorrow.**_

Really? Why?

_**Ack! Minerva McGonagall! Come back here! I'll tell you later. In the mean time, I have some arguing to do!**_

Why is everyone leaving without telling me what's going on?

Make way for the Queen! She's off to gossip!

You'd better come back with the explanation for all the cliffhangers I'm getting.

**Goodness! Albus, is Minerva alright?**

YOU know what happened?

**No, not entirely. I just saw her limping back to the school. Poppy came and met her halfway, but that's all I know.**

Well you know more than I do! Wait… limping back from where?

**Far as I could tell, she was heading back from the forest.**

Hmmm… 

**Oh! Look at the moon! It's so nice and full… and pretty… and shiny… I think I'll go outside for a while.**

NO YOU WON'T!! Stay inside, Horace! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the hospital wing, pronto.

**You can't just leave and not tell me why or why I can't go outside!**

I can and I will! I don't have time to explain, just DO NOT GO OUTSIDE! Don't let ANYONE go outside!

* * *

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Dumbledore burst into the hospital wing. "Poppy!"

Poppy Pomfery popped her head out of her office and started hissing at Dumbledore as she walked towards him, "Albus! How DARE you come into the hospital wing so loudly? I have patients who need sleep, you know!"

"Where's Minerva? What happened?"

"She wasn't bitten. She just needs rest!"

Dumbledore looked visibly relieved. "Well, can I talk to her anyway?"

"No."

"If that's Dumbledore, you better let him in, Poppy!" Minerva's voice floated from inside the office.

"Go to SLEEP, Minerva!"

"I can't, not yet at least!"

Madam Pomfery stomped her foot in anger, but allowed Dumbledore to talk to his deputy.

"Minerva, what happened? Do I need to go find him?" began Dumbledore immediately. He with held a gasp as he saw that the bottom of Minerva's robes were covered in blood.

"No. I managed to get him into the forest. Potter, Black, and Pettigrew were playing some sort of joke or tying to get Lupin to tell them something, but that reason isn't important right now. The important thing is that they were holding him down, and he didn't want to blow his cover by getting right back up. I really thought he was smarter than that. I managed to find them, but the process was already beginning. He was deep enough into the forest just in time, but I didn't get out fast enough. Lucky that the centaurs were around to distract him."

Albus collapsed into a chair. He couldn't keep endangering the students and staff of Hogwarts like this. "I'll have the house elves start working on a secret passageway tomorrow."

"Where will it lead to?"

"That old abandoned house outside of Hogsmeade. I'll go fix it up tomorrow."

Minerva allowed herself to yawn, which through some odd force of nature, Madam Pomfery heard. Dumbledore was shooed out of the wing.

"Now why did Poppy let _you_ in?" said a voice in the hallway skeptically.

"Because I'm awesome like that, Pomona!" Dumbledore responded.

"No, you just assure she gets paid," Sprout said slyly.

Dumbledore gasped in mock offense, "You don't think I'm BRIBING her, do you?"

"As a matter a fact – "

"Shhhhh!" hissed Dumbledore suddenly, "someone's here under an invisibility cloak."

It was Professor Sprout's turn to gasp.

"No matter of high importance. They'll all know soon enough, more than likely. Who do you know that can come in to teach for Minerva tomorrow on this short of notice?"

"Is it really that bad?"

"Poppy won't let her out, and will probably make her use a walking stick for a while."

"She wasn't _bitten_, was she?"

"No, just clawed." Sprout sighed in relief and Dumbledore continued, "Now, I'm off to go owl Mr. Riddle and tell him his interview will have to wait, and to go find a substitute. Good night, Pomona!"

"Night, Albus."

James Potter watched from under his invisibility cloak as the headmaster and professor went their separate ways before rushing back to his dormitory.

* * *

Alright, I've managed to cut a deal with the goblins. They'll give me 100 e-galleons for every review, so I can split it 50-50 with reviewers! Unless you still want cockroach clusters... Just by reviewing, you'll allow me to quit my current job... which is Filch's. Dumbledore made him go on vacation and I stepped in, and lo and behold, Filch tripped over Mrs. Norris and hit his head... he'll be gone longer than expected...


	8. Chapter 8

YAY! CHAPTER 8! I just want to say thanks to all my reviewers, especially the ones who review regularly! I like reading and responding to your reviews. They're pretty awesome. YOU'RE pretty awesome! And special thanks to all recent reviewers that have helped me out of e-bankruptcy! Right, I'm rambling now. On with the story!

* * *

**_Eight - the next day_**

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

_Flitwick_

Sprout

**Slughorn**

_**Pomfery**_

* * *

How are you feeling?

_Oh well besides the searing pain in my right leg I feel fine. _

So I need to ask the substitute to stay for another day?

_Oh, now I didn't say that…_

_**Tell the sub to stay an extra day. Minerva, put that book down and go back to sleep!**_

_Someone's crabby._

No, someone's trying to do what's best for you.

_Making me lie in bed all day is not good for me! Having a substitute teach my class makes me anxious._

Well I have news that might make you feel better.

_You always have news._

As headmaster, I'm supposed to. Anyway, Remus Lupin came back to class halfway through the day.

_Oh no… I was supposed to have class with the first years today!_

So?

_So he'll notice I'm gone! He'll remember that I was helping him out to the forest when he blanked out! He'll put two and two together. Don't let him do anything stupid!_

What, like leaving? I don't think Mr. Potter or Black or Pettigrew would let him.

_But they'll wonder where he was! Albus, you need to distract Poppy, I have to teach the first years!_

I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to risk Poppy's wrath.

_And you're willing to risk MINE?_

Hold on, let me think about this for a minute…

_Albus…_

I'm still thinking!

_ALBUS…._

On one hand, you could do more damage, but Poppy would be able to heal me. On the other, if Poppy were the one to attack me, she'd have to be the one to heal me and in her grudge, she wouldn't….

_ALBUS!!_

Alright! Fine!

* * *

_**TRANSFIGURATION**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Why is McGonagall late? She's never late!

Give her a break. It's only been five minutes.

**Oh look! There she is! **

Yeah, but why is she limping?

_Oh no…_

What, Remmy?

_She'll probably be more cranky than usual?_

I hope she doesn't yell at me! I didn't practice the spell she gave us last week!

_Naw, I think you'll be alright, Petey._

You sure?

_Positive._

Why do you look so pale, Remus?

_Tired._

**Yeah, you weren't in the dorms last night.**

_I didn't feel good. I spent the night in the hospital wing._

**No you didn't. We checked there. Pomfery told us you weren't there.**

_She probably lied to make you go away. Can we drop the subject now?_

Fine.

Ooooo… Madam Pomfery doesn't look happy.

_I said drop it, Peter!_

No! Look! Pomfery is in the doorway!

**Oh, you know someone's in trouble. Big time.**

Hey! It looks like it's McGonagall that's in trouble. Ugh! It's driving me crazy! Why is she limping?

**And out the door she goes. Shall we listen in, boys?**

_STAY IN YOUR SEAT!_

**Is there something you need to tell us, Lupin?**

_Later, alright? Are you happy now? I'll tell you!_

YAY FOR REMUS!!

_Stop bouncing up and down James, its annoying!_

**Your sourness is annoying! Lighten up! Your secret can't be that bad! Now are we listening at the door or not? Come on, we have to hurry!**

_Stay seated. _

Is there something ELSE you'd like to tell us too, Remus?

_Yes. I think I know why McGonagall is limping. Leave class without me, alright?_

Ok. Hurry up though!

**Put the paper away! McGonagall just came back in!**

With dear Madam Pomfery. Hey! Do you think that McGonagall was supposed to be in the hospital wing right now?

_If what I think happened did indeed happen, then yes, she should be in the hospital wing right now, in fact, she should be in St. Mungo's._

This class needs to end!

**Ooohhh… there's going to be a yelling match later. The tension is almost tangible!**

Quit using big words!

* * *

Alright, my break was over 15 minutes ago and McGonagall is getting mad at me because I'm not doing my job...

"You were hired to clean, and there's a huge mess in the Transfiguration Corridor! My students can't get to the classroom!"

"Well wave your wand and make the mess go _poof_!"

"You weren't hired to have others do your work for you!"

"But it would make life easier for all of us! See, if you do that, I have more time to publish the Teachers' Notebook - "

"You're doing WHAT?!"

"...Did I just say that aloud?"

"You're doom is upon you!!"

-end conversation owed to the fact that your friendly author is running for her life with a screaming McGonagall running behind her-

Uhh, real quick, people. I _might _need a new job. Suggestions?


	9. Chapter 9

Yay updates!

* * *

_**NINE - a week later in charms**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Oh Remmy!

…

Come on, Remus! How many times do we have to tell you that we don't care about your furry little problem?

**Yeah! You're still Remus Lupin, boy who gives us our notes.**

Sirius, not helping.

**Yes I am.**

Not well.

**Remus, your still Remus and we want you to come back!**

**…**

**AH! REMUS! RESPOND!!**

For the … What time will it be now, Peter?

792

Right. For the 792 time, we don't care! Stop distancing yourself! It's not any different than before except for the fact that we know now!

_Leave me alone. I'm a monster. You don't need a friend like that._

-sigh- You're right.

_Finally you see._

I mean you're right we don't need a monster as a friend.

_Didn't I just say that?_

I don't think you're a monster for what you can't help. I think you're a monster for pushing people off who want to be your friends and are willing to see through what many others can't!

**Seconded.**

Me three!

**Farewell, monster, until you let Remus come back.**

* * *

Class ended and Remus Lupin was the first to leave. Professor Flitwick noticed a piece of paper he left behind and picked it up and started reading, just to see if it was important, but he couldn't put it down.

How very admirable of Potter, Black and Pettigrew to know that their room mate was a werewolf, not ask for a room change, and still want to be friends with him.

While Flitwick could understand Mr. Lupin's point of view, he though it was wrong of him to ignore his friends, who were very right indeed. Flitwick carefully folded the paper and put it into his pocket to show to Minerva later so she could have a conference with the four sum, or at least Mr. Lupin.

* * *

Classes ended for the day and Remus made his way to the Gryffindor Tower alone, taking the longest route possible in hopes that James, Sirius, and Peter would be gone for dinner by the time he got there.

"Loony, Loopy, Lupin!" Remus cringed as Peeves swooped past him. "Why so down? You can tell Peevsie!"

"Buzz off, Peeves!"

"Oooo. Someone's being SERIOUS!"

Under normal circumstances, Remus would have smiled and replied, 'No, Sirius is up in the dorms or in the Great Hall,' but today was not part of the normal circumstances. The last week hadn't been normal circumstances.

Instead, Remus responded, "Is it wrong to not laugh every single waking second of the day, Peeves? Leave me alone!"

"Ickle firstie is having an ickle fit! Poor firstie!"

"I said, GO AWAY, PEEVES!" Remus shouted, finally losing his temper with the poltergeist.

"Mr. Lupin!" snapped a voice that Remus had been trying to avoid. "Is there a reason you're trying to wake up the armor in the hall?"

Remus's eye twitched as his transfiguration professor limped towards him on a walking cane. He managed to respond none the less though, "Sorry, Professor. I lost my temper." Remus looked to the spot Peeves had been in, but he had gone, though Remus was sure he heard something crash a few corridors down.

Professor McGonagall sighed. "Come with me, Mr. Lupin."

Remus inwardly groaned as he followed his professor. He'd been avoiding her all week. He was always the last to enter her classroom, and the first to leave. He didn't dare look at her at any point in time, and sat as far away from the staff table (and every other table) as he possibly could at meals. Now he had to attend a one-on-one meeting with her. He seriously considered making himself throw up just to get away. Or maybe he'd throw up on accident without any voluntary help.

Remus walked through the office door Professor McGonagall held open and tried not to wince as the door closed behind him and said professor hobbled past him to her desk and sat down.

"Sit down, Mr. Lupin," requested Professor McGonagall, gesturing to the seat across her desk.

Remus walked across the room and sat down without taking his eyes off his feet. He didn't know what to say. Was he supposed to apologize for tearing up her leg? Was he supposed to go pack his things and be off the grounds within the next hour?

Professor McGonagall surprised him by speaking in an unusual (for her) voice, human and concerned, "Is there anything you'd like to talk about?"

"No, Professor," he lied.

"I didn't bring you down here to hear your lies, Remus."

Remus snapped his head up when addressed by his first name. She wanted an apology, and _then_ he'd be booted out. He managed to keep himself from showing signs of wanting to cry.

"Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" McGonagall asked again.

"I'm sorry," Remus muttered, once again casting his gaze to his shoes.

"I could probably hear you if you took your mouth away from your robes," said McGonagall.

Remus lifted his head up a few inches, still not meeting her eyes, and spoke again, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

He couldn't help but look up again. Professor McGonagall had arched an eyebrow in questioning. Could she possibly be that thick? Remus had always thought his professors to be rather smart.

"For shredding up your leg!" Remus snapped irritably before continuing in a hysterical voice, "Honestly, Professor, I didn't mean to! I'm sorry! If – "

Professor McGonagall cut across him sharply, "Mr. Lupin, do you honestly think I'm upset about that?"

"You had to stay in the hospital wing for three days because of it!"

"No, I had to stay in the hospital wing for three days because of Madam Pomfery. I won't ever be upset with you because of something you can't control."

Remus wasn't sure if she really meant it or not, but he felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders.

Professor McGonagall spoke some more, "Now that that matter is cleared up, is there something _else_ you'd like to talk about?"

Remus bit his lip. "No." Another lie.

"I'm not missing my dinner to hear you lie, Mr. Lupin!" McGonagall snapped. She took a deep breath and continued in the voice she was using before, "I have heard and seen that you're distancing yourself from your friends."

"I don't want to hurt them," Remus admitted quietly.

"You won't be around them when you can!"

"I almost was once already! What's to say it won't happen again?"

"They won't let it happen again."

"How do you know?" Remus was getting aggravated. He wished McGonagall would revert back to her usual self. He wished she'd yell or snap at him of call him thick-headed.

"I spoke to them earlier. All they want is their friend back. I quote, 'We'll actually go to the _library_ for him! We'll make charts! We just want him back!'"

The corners of Remus's mouth twitched upwards a bit. If James and Sirius were talking about going to the library, they were serious.

"So you can either try to enjoy the remainder of your time here with friends who care for you as a person, or you can wallow in self pity and refuse to make any friends."

Remus ran from Professor McGonagall's office five minutes later and sprinted up to his dorm, threw open the door, and smiled at his three best friends.

* * *

Hoorah! All is well!

Incase you're wondering, I'm currently on a probation period thing at Hogwarts. I had to go through a trial with fellow staff members as jury, lawyers, and judge. Now, even though Professor Sprout was my attourney and McGonagall was the prosecuter, Dumbledore (he was judge) and the jury made up of pretty much everyone else likes me enough to give me a second chance. Dumbledore is even encouraging me to keep going with the story, so I think I'm alright for a while... though he may not be. McGonagall is less than happy with him.

Unfortunately, I did have to pay a small fine, but that small fine has sent me into a very low balance in my e-account again. So its back to the cockroach clusters, blood pops, and acid pops for reviewers! Yay?


	10. Chapter 10

TWO

_**TEN -**__**very last day**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

The end of the year always has to come so soon!

_Pah! For YOU it comes soon._

I know you don't really want it to end, either.

_I'm just sick of hearing, "I'll get the door for you, Professor," or, "I'll carry that for you!" from students! It's AGGRAVATING!_

They're only being courteous.

_It's not courteous when the Slytherins do it for you every single opportunity they get. With a group of friends behind them, I might add._

Ah, but now you have to put up with the STAFF doing the same thing for the next two weeks until you're off the cane, and trust me, we'll be doing it with the intention of pushing you to the edge of your sanity.

_Ah, but I can scream at you. _

But you can't duel.

…_I'm going to get Poppy for this…_

Why is this Poppy's fault?

_Because if it weren't for her I wouldn't have to bother with this stupid cane, nor would I have had to pamper the stupid wound for three days. I should have gotten right back on it and gotten used to the pain._

Your quidditch training hasn't worn off, has it?

_Well when your captain almost literally drills the information into your head, it's hard to forget. _

_You never told me what happened with Riddle's interview, and that was weeks ago!_

Did I see the name 'Riddle'?

_All hail the Queen of Gossip._

That title has such a nice ring, don't you think?

_Not for someone your age._

Might I remind you that you're the same age?

_But I'm not bragging about said title, now am I?_

_What happened with the interview?_

He didn't show up! I didn't get a letter, either.

_Fantastic! Maybe he gave up._

Oh, I doubt that. He never was one to give up.

_Yes, so I've learned from experience._

I have next to no doubt that Mr. Riddle will return sometime soon, whether it be at Hogwarts, or elsewhere. 

_And a load of good that will do for our society._

Do I detect a hint of sarcasm, Minerva?

_Oh, you know me so well!_

_Got all the students aboard the Express!_

Excellent!

**I do believe we have reason to worry about certain students being gone.**

_What do you mean? Three months of silence!_

Not with you around.

_Hardy-har-har._

_What do you mean, Horace?_

**Well, I couldn't help but over hear - **

_Yes, I'm sure it couldn't be helped._

**Indeed. Anyway, I overheard one Mr. Potter and one Mr. Black informing one Mr. Lupin about 'some pretty awesome pranks' they set up for us staff before leaving.**

_What is this? They're leaving pranks over the summer, already? They're only first years!_

I believe this is the time to glare at Minerva.

_How is this MY fault?_

Whose house are they in?

_Don't you try to pull that, it won't work._

All who vote Minerva to search the castle?

**I**

_I_

I

_Whose side are you on, Dumbledore? _

The side that promises the most entertainment!

_But I'm crippled! You all wouldn't REALLY make me search the ENTIRE castle with a torn up leg, now would you?_

Don't fall for it!

_But it's so hard! She IS crippled after all!_

Bull. We all know she could do it.

_Let them decide for themselves, Pomona!_

You're only saying that because you know they'll side with you.

_So?_

How very Slytherin of you.

_All who vote Pomona, the un-crippled, to search the castle for pranks set by Potter and Black?_

_Sorry Pomona, I!_

**I don't know…**

_You said 'I', therefore, your vote counts._

That's cheap!

**I now officially cast my vote for Pomona searching the castle.**

You'd better sleep with an eye open, Slughorn!

**Now that'd be rather pointless, considering my sleep shade… **

_Albus?_

Hold on, still thinking.

_You wouldn't REALLY want to risk Poppy's wrath by making me do all that work, would you?_

I vote Pomona searches!

I'll get you, my pretties! Any you're little kiddies, too!

_Get Black first, would you?_


	11. SECOND YEAR

AH! I'm sorry for my lack of author's note in the last chapter! I was in a rush! It makes me really sad that I didn't give a note on that one, too. That was like.. my favorite chapter... no, I lied. Second to favorite bit I've written so far! -tears-

* * *

_**SECOND YEAR**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

**Slughorn**

_Flitwick_

* * *

Huzzah! A new year!

_12 new Gryffindors, can you believe it?_

Yes, all very exciting. Large group this year all around. What was it? 40 new students?

_Around there. By the way, no more jokes at opening feast, please. You scare the first years._

They just didn't understand the joke.

_I wonder why._

Oh, you're just being sour because the joke was about you.

_So what if I am? Albus has no right to attempt to humiliate me in front of the entire school!_

It was all in fun and will soon be forgotten.

_I doubt that your version of my injury received last year will 'soon be forgotten'. And I don't think Mr. Lupin appreciated your joke either!_

He laughed.

_To fit in! You didn't see him afterwards?_

I was a bit to preoccupied with food.

_Yes, the house elves chose the best time to serve dinner, didn't they?_

Indeed.

_Now, to pay for what you did, guess what I'm going to have you do!_

Uh oh…

_That's right! You get to do ALL the paperwork for the school for the next week!_

Ouch! Harsh.

NOOO!!

_Don't do the crime if you can't do the time. _

Surely you don't mean ALL of it!

_Of course I do! As a matter a fact, I'll even send Misters Black and Potter to give you said paperwork, and you can get started! _

AH! PASSWORD!!

_Oh, don't worry. I'll tell them what it is. _

You know you can be very cruel, Minerva.

_I could be worse, believe me!_

I've no doubt you could be worse, but you're still being cruel right now.

_Now you're just trying to keep me from flagging down Potter and Black! Hey! There they go! Excuse me; I have an errand to have someone run for me!_

Pomona! 

_Don't you dare, Albus!_

I wouldn't help anyway. Sorry, Albus. I can't stand paperwork! Sitting at a desk again. Gross.

Hogwarts is slowly turning against me!

Reason number - what now? - on why you shouldn't upset your deputy.

Reason 329.

You'd think you'd have learned. After all, that list only started off with the basic 15, then you came along…

What's life without aggravating people?

Peaceful.

Try boring.

You get through all that paperwork for the week and then tell me how you think life would be.

Speaking of paperwork, I believe Minerva's errand runners are here, so goodnight!

Have fun!

**With what?**

Paperwork.

**Albus never does paperwork, what are you talking about?**

Minerva didn't take kindly to the story he shared during the feast and now he's paying for it.

**For how long?**

A week.

**The school is doomed. Albus is going to lose half the things he's supposed to turn in! We all know how unorganized he is.**

I'm sure he won't be doing the paperwork all week. Just until he makes a sincere apology to Minerva.

**Oh, well in that case he'll crack in two days.**

And she knows it.

**I still don't understand how she gets all that paperwork done plus grading and have time left over. It makes no sense.**

It's called organization and not having five minute periods throughout the day to eat crystallized pineapple.

**Oh, well she really should, because that stuff is delicious.**

Men.

**What's wrong with them?**

Never mind, Horace. Good luck with classes tomorrow!

**Same to you!**

* * *

Anyway, about the trial. I'm on probation, I was the last chapter too. So I'm not getting paid until I'm off probation. Luckily, Madam Rosmerta reads fanfiction (yes, I know its wierd and a little creepy...) and she likes this one! She's offered me shelter from McGonagall, so I can write in the Three Broomsticks! YAY! Really nice place. AND she's let me have control of the jukebox! MUAHAHAHAAA! ITS ALL MINE! -puts on Back in Black- (that song won't get out of my head! "YES I'M BBBAAAAaaaaAAACK! BBBAAAAAAaaaAAAAACK!") NO!! BREAKS OVER! Must run!

Reviews will save my sanity! ...wait... I lost that a long time ago... uhmm... EMbarrasing...

Review anyway!


	12. Chapter 12

Ah! I keep getting off on my update schedual! I was supposed to put this chapter up yesturday! Sorry everyone!

* * *

_**TWELVE**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

**Slughorn**

_Flitwick_

* * *

_Good morning, Albus!_

For some! I've been up all night trying to do some of this paperwork!

_Oh… that's truly heartbreaking. I think I might cry._

If you're done gloating, breakfast starts in ten minutes.

_I really don't know what I'm going to do after breakfast. I don't have a class, nor do I have any PAPERWORK to do…_

You know what? I don't have to put up with this!

_Ah! I'm winning already._

_Gracious! Did you see Albus's office?_

_No, but I can imagine what it looks like. _

_Papers EVERYWHERE!! I swear there's an inch of files on his floor._

_Is that so?_

_Yes, it is so._

_Dreadful._

_Time for breakfast! _

* * *

_**GREAT HALL**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Dumbledore doesn't look very happy…

**There's a first! Peter, write it down in the Marauder history book!**

Working on it. What month is it?

**September, Petey.**

Right, thanks!

_McGonagall's looking awfully cheerful though. _

**Oh, I bet I know what it is!**

Really? Do tell!

**Remember how McGonagall asked us to take a folder to Dumbledore, and how heavy it was?**

Yeah…

**It was probably something for revenge in there.**

That would explain why they haven't said a single word to each other yet.

**-gasp- Do you think its possible… no… it couldn't be… not Professor McGonagall!**

Sirius, you plan on telling us, right?

**Do you think it's possible that McGonagall PRANKED Dumbledore for revenge?**

Sirius, I think I might start crying from laughing so hard!

**Told you it wasn't possible.**

_I hope she did prank him. His story was pretty mean, after all._

De-age yourself, Remus, and look at the funny aspects of the story.

The bell rang!

**Gather up men! Herbology in five minutes!**

_Two, actually. That was the second bell.  
_

**Screw orderly fashion. Flee to the greenhouses!**

* * *

I'm sorry for such a short chapter! I might update later today or tomorrow.

Now, I want to get my fans involved! If you have any ideas for anything, let me know. I don't want to make all the years the same. I've already got something for second and fifth year.

Reviewers get to pick the next song I play on the jukebox! Crapola! Got to run! Hogsmeade weekend! Teachers incoming! -takes Sirius's advice and flees-


	13. Chapter 13

Ok, I really meant to update yesturday, but by the time I got home I was ready to PASS OUT and very nearly did. I'll do my very best to update tomorrow because I know I wont be able to the day after. Meh.

**_

* * *

_**_**THIRTEEN**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

**Slughorn**

_Flitwick_

* * *

_How's the paperwork coming along, Albus?_

Don't you have a class, Minerva?

_Not for another ten minutes._

Unlike some, I have work to do to keep this school from going under, so if you wouldn't mind leaving me alone…

_Maybe you should close your notebook and put it away._

Minerva, I think I might have to hurt you.

_Why is that?_

Mr. Potter and Black decided to reenact their first class from last year. Unfortunately, the rest of the class thought that a mud fight looked like fun too. Now all my plants are absolutely covered! How am I supposed to save the really delicate ones?

_You're the herbology expert, I failed. As for Potter and Black, I'll take care of them. Are we happy now?_

Nowhere near.

_Well, I can't change the past. But I am honestly sorry about the destruction of your plants, and will talk to Potter and Black. Would you like to take their detentions, or shall I?_

You go ahead. I'd end up using Unforgivables!

_Oh, lookie there! Potter and Black have just entered the room… and I can smell it. Were they throwing your fertilizer too?_

Probably.

_Nasty! Class dismissed for showers! Ugh!_

You'd better keep Potter and Black back!

_I will. Bye, for now._

* * *

_**LUNCH IN THE GREAT HALL**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

_Detention for a week? Ouch._

Possibly…

**What 'possibly'? That's a definite ouch!**

Ah, yes, but detentions last a long time.

**You aren't making ANY sense, James.**

Look, we've got the detentions with McGonagall, right?

**Unfortunately…**

And what information do we need from said Professor?

-gasp- She didn't give us another essay during class last week, did she? I fell asleep!

No, Peter. It's not academic.

_Would you get off the case of that stupid notebook?_

NEVER!!

**JAMES, MY BRILLIANT BUDDY! Are you suggesting that she'll pull out her notebook and we can figure out how to open it from watching her do so?**

That's exactly what I'm thinking.

Where's Remus going?

**TO GET THE BOOK BEFORE WE DO! SIEZE HIM!**

No, we lose. Remember what he is? As soon as he's out of sight of people, he'll bolt. We'll just get it when he sleeps.

**Right. Or… we could wait until… you know…**

No, chances are he'd somehow find out and come get us without changing.

You know how weird that sounds?

Oh, grow up, Peter!

Well, you always tell Remus NOT to grow up!

That's because Remus has the mentality of a 30 year old.

Oh… What mentality do I have?

Hmmm… I dunno. What do you think, Sirius?

**I'd say… 8 or 9.**

Aw, come on!

**That's a compliment, Peter. **

Yeah, Sirius and I only have a mentality of about 10 or 11.

But that only makes you a year or three behind everyone else in our year!

**A year or two, Peter, not three.**

No… it's three!

Ok, Petey, whatever you say.

**IT'S FRIDAY! We're done with classes!**

Hoorah! I love classes being done early. Let's go bug the squid.

**Forward, march!**

* * *

AH! Another short chapter! I'm sorry!

Good news, though! I'm officially off probation! So I'm back to making money now, but it'll still be a bit before I can afford to give out e-money. Sooo... and song suggestions for the Jukebox?

Reviews make me happy. Just click the button. For instructions on how to review, go look at my note a few chapters back, then come back to this one and follow said instructions. Please? Por favor? (I don't actually speak spanish, so if I messed up the spelling there let me know.) I asked in two languages! Ah, ah! Seeeeee??


	14. Chapter 14

_**FOURTEEN**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_Anyone here?_

I'm a bit too busy trying to save my plants to talk right now!

_I already apologized for that even though I still had nothing to do with it._

_Minerva, did you send Potter and Black to get something?_

_Yes, I sent them to ask Filch for more chalk…_

_How long ago?_

_Oh, shoot. Must've been about 10 minutes now…_

_Are you aware that they're whispering with Peeves right now?_

…_Please tell me you're joking…_

_If I could, I would, but I can't._

_Do you mind breaking up the conversation before any deals are finalized?_

_Certainly!_

_

* * *

___

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

"Boys, is there a reason you aren't in detention like you're supposed to be?" asked Professor Flitwick as he strode down the hallway.

"Sorry, Peeves," James whispered before turning to Flitwick with an angry look on his face. "We were _trying_ to find Mr. Filch because Professor McGonagall sent us to go get some chalk, but Peeves here decided to hold us up!"

"Is that so?" said Flitwick suspiciously. "Well you'd better hurry along. I'm sure Peeves will go find some other victim to prey on."

"Right, Mr. Head of Ravenclaw, sir!" Peeves mocked a solute and floated off. It wasn't long before the angry scream of a girl rang through the halls up a floor.

"Thank you, Professor!" Sirius gasped before he and James continued on to find Filch.

"Professors are such party poopers," pouted Sirius.

"But he knew about our detentions, didn't he? And he's miles away from his office right now…" James said slowly.

"McGonagall already has her book open! I TOLD you we should have come right on time!"

"So we'll be on time tomorrow… if not early."

* * *

_Mission accomplished!_

_Thanks._

_No problem… though I do feel a little guilty._

_Of what? Saving Hogwarts from a catastrophe?_

_No, I jokingly told Peeves to go find another victim to prey on… and he actually took the advice, and now Ms. Evans and Mr. Snape have ink all over their school bags and robes._

_You can't tell Peeves things like that jokingly! He takes them seriously!_

_So I've noticed._

_Why was Snape with her?_

**Oh, you didn't know? They're rather good friends.**

_Really? _

**You sound surprised…**

_Of course I'm surprised! It's not often that a Gryffindor and Slytherin get along well!_

**Well I think they make a cute couple.**

_They're twelve, Horace!_

**So?**

_So they're too young to have anything further than crushes._

**Ah, that's not the way of this generation's children!**

_Don't act like you know what goes on with them._

**Well I seem to know better than you!**

_You only THINK you do because of your little club thing._

**Do I detect a hint of jealousy?**

_No. _

_I think I detect a hint of jealousy as well!_

_I think I detect a hint of insanity from both of you. I already spend seven hours with teenagers, I don't need any more. _

_Mmhmm, sure._

_Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a detention to handle. _

_You'll just be sitting there. You don't have any paperwork to do._

That's because she piled it onto someone who can almost feel their sanity pouring out of them.

_Oh, is that why you're eye was twitching at dinner?_

No, that was just me being tired.

_Let this serve as a reminder to you to try not to anger me._

_I thought you had a detention to handle?_

_Lines. _

_Pick a story and stick to it._

Minerva, take back your paperwork!

_Excuse me?_

_Run for the hills!_

_MY paperwork? I volunteered to do the paperwork FOR you when I came, so technically, it's YOUR paperwork that I've been managing for you, and now you get it back._

…_You VOLUNTEERED to do paperwork?_

_I knew he couldn't. _

Hey!

_We all know it! You always had older students grade papers; you only graded the sixth and seventh year papers!_

They volunteered for extra credit!

_Worked out rather well for you, too, didn't it?_

**Crystalized pineapple, anyone?**

_I'm surrounded by idiots._

**I take offense to that.**

_Good. _

**Just for that, I won't give you any!**

_Pity. I guess I'll just have to live with the ginger newts in my desk._

**But we all know you won't pull those out until Black and Potter's detention is over.**

_True, but I wouldn't eat any of your pineapple junk either._

**-gasp- Did she say what I think she said?**

_She did! _

**Did you seriously just call my crystallized pineapple JUNK?**

_Yes, I believe I did._

**A BILLION points from Gryffindor!**

_A billion points to Gryffindor! I'm a teacher now too, Horace._

**I'll have my revenge!**

_I'm scared now._

**You ought to be!**

_Well that was entertaining…_

_This detention is never going to end._

_Why is that?_

_Potter and Black have only written their line 10 times. _

_What the heck are they doing?_

_I have absolutely no idea. Care to take one of them?_

_I guess. _

_Fantastic! I'll send you Black!_

_Just dandy._

* * *

Ah ha! I kept my word! I hope you enjoyed the latest update! Now keep me in buisness and update! Rosmerta is starting to pay me to keep writing, so the more review I get, the more I want to update, and the sooner I can start giving out e-galleons again! So review!


	15. Chapter 15

_****_

FIFTEEN- Breakfast a week later

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

An entire week of detention and we didn't see any of the teachers open their notebooks! WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?!

_Maybe all you stole was an old notebook of McGonagall's. Maybe the Teachers' Notebook doesn't really exist._

**Of COURSE it exists! How else would Flitwick know about our detentions so quickly?**

_Maybe because you were shouting about it at dinner._

**We didn't say who we had it with!**

Yes you did. 

**Did we, James?**

Yeah, we did.

**Dang.**

_Like I said, the Teachers' Notebook is just a myth, and the only way we'd find out if it was real or not would be to ask a teacher about it, and if it was real, they'd lie anyway._

Or we could figure out how to open the notebook we borrowed from McGonagall.

…except you stole it…

**Steal, borrow. What's the difference?**

_There's quite a large difference, actually. Do you need me to list those differences?_

**Nope. I'm good.**

Sirius, we need to get another detention.

**Psst! Remus! Peter! I think James lost it.**

No, I didn't.

**James…**

Ok, yeah I did, but that was a long time ago. Now, we need to get more detentions because that is the time we'd most likely figure out how to open the notebook!

_Merlin's beard! James, how many times will I have to tell you? The Teachers' Notebook is nothing more than a myth!_

Where's your sense of fun and adventure, Remus?

_Must have left it at home._

**We are home, stupid.**

_No, YOU'RE at home. I'm at school._

…but you're sitting next to each other! How is that possible?

**Ahhh, true, Remus. **

I don't get it!

Don't worry about it, Peter.

But it doesn't make sense, James!

It's not supposed to.

Oh, ok!

-gasp- Was that THUNDER?

**No, wishful thinking. It was that Huffy over there…**

Upstairs or downstairs?

**Up, thankfully. **

_Either way, it's disgusting._

I bet I could beat that kid in a belching contest!

I don't know, Petey. You'd have some competition.

_**-Here Peter let's out a long, loud burp.-**_

**Impressive, Petey! **

I think I might cry! That was beautiful!

_That was the most disgusting display ever._

Thanks, James, Sirius. Remus, you sound like the girls.

_Is that so? Maybe they're civilized!_

**Quit inching towards them, Remus! They'll rip you apart with their chatter!**

_I think I'll risk it._

Alright, we won't belch anymore!

_Thank you!_

**Jeez. So how are we going to get our next detentions, James?**

_Ugh. I'm going to the library!_

NOOO!! Remus, that's suicidal!

_You're acting like it's the first time I've gone!_

**Madam Pince will eat you if you don't wash and disinfect your hands before touching her books!**

_I'll risk it. Talk to you later!_

We've lost him, men!

**A moment of silence, please.**

Alright, moment's over.

**Right. Detentions. How do we get more?**

By making McGonagall angry.

**We could bring up the story of her screaming because Fang was in her office… and then he bit her, or whatever the heck it was Dumbledore said at the opening feast, because she was screaming. **(There's the joke… incase any of you missed it!)

Tempting and funny as that would be, she's half over it, so we need something that will have a longer sentence.

Ooo!! Oooo!! Give her a nickname, since she's used to you calling her 'Minerva'.

**BRILLIANT! **

Thanks, Peter!

You're welcome!

Alright, first or last name?

**First, most definitely!**

Now all we need to do is distort it.

**Right…**

…

**James? I think we've hit a block.**

Oh! Mini muffins! Try these, you guys, they're delicious!

I think Peter just helped us over the block!

**Petey, you're the hero of the day!**

Really?!

Really.

YAY! 

…Ok, he can't be hero of the day anymore if he attempts to fly out of the Great Hall like that.

**Eh. Let him have his fun. I can't wait for Transfiguration now!**

Fifteen minutes.

**What should we do in that time?**

Ask Remus to see if he can find a book of rules we can break.

**Oh REMUS!! We have a mission for you!**

* * *

_**TRANSFIGURATION**_

Who's going to do it? Me or you?

_How about neither of you?_

**Quit growing up, Remus!**

_Don't start that again!_

**Watch me.**

ANYWAY!! Sirius, you or me?

**Wait… if one of us does it, how's the other supposed to get a detention?**

…laugh and say "good one".

**Think that'll work?**

With McGonagall? Yes.

**Awesome. I call saying it then.**

-sigh- Fine.

**Here goes nothing!**

_Why? WHY did I choose to hang around with you lot?_

Because we like you as a friend, and you'd have to sleep in the same room anyway. Shhh! Sirius is about to go!

_I had nothing to do with this!!_

* * *

Professor McGonagall had her back to the Marauders while she helped one of the other students. The second she turned around, a voice called out loudly with a hand waving around to match, "Professor Minnie! I don't get it!"

McGonagall's attention snapped to Sirius Black. Her lips got so thin they were almost invisible by the time James Potter started laughing and saying, "I didn't think you'd actually do it!" and then he handed Sirius a galleon for effect.

The class started giggling as Sirius and James continued to laugh and their Professor started to turn red.

The Professor stormed over to her desk, slammed herself down into her chair, and beckoned to James and Sirius.

"What," she hissed furiously, "do you think you're doing?"

"What do you mean, Professor?" Sirius asked innocently.

Professor McGonagall was not in any mood to argue. "And to think that you just got out of detention. Now you have it for another two weeks!" James and Sirius pretended to be upset. "My office after dinner," she snapped. Then, to James and Sirius's great delight, she pulled a notebook out of her desk. "Go back to your seat!"

They reluctantly strolled back to their seats where Remus had slammed his head down onto his book. James continued to watch his professor out of the corner of his eye, but he'd missed it. Professor McGonagall was already scribbling away.

* * *

_**Teachers' Notebook**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_I cannot believe them!_

Potter and Black?

_Fantastic guess!_

_What now?_

_They're coming up with NICKNAMES now!_

…

_Alright, I know that both of you are laughing, or trying not to._

…

_Laughing break's over! _

I'm sorry,

_No you're not._

But that's just too funny!

_What'd they dub you?_

_I don't think I'm going to tell you._

Alright then, how long are they in detention?

_Two weeks._

Harsh!

No, what's harsh is giving someone paperwork for an entire school to deal with for a week!

_I'm surprised you lasted the entire week._

_Technically – _

Shut up, Filius!

_Albus…_

Ah! Look what you did!

_ALBUS…_

Duck and cover, Albus.

I think I'm safe in my office.

_Did you have someone help you with that paperwork, Dumbledore?_

-cough-

_Filius…_

_Hmm?_

_Don't try to pull that. _

_Yeah, ok. I helped a bit…_

_A bit as in did most of it?_

_Possibly…_

Lock the doors, Albus!

I'm working on it!

_I gave YOU that paperwork to work on!_

I DID work on it!

_Filius, how could you?_

_Hey, how come you get paid more than I do?_

_Don't change the subject!_

_I just gave you the answer…_

_Are you serious? I'm the deputy and I do the paperwork! I didn't ask for the wage I get, and I know you aren't really jealous._

FAWKES! I MIGHT HAVE TO KILL YOU!!

Albus, it's impossible to kill a phoenix…

I'll find a way! That blasted thing took my wand!

_Is that so?_

…oops…

_Run for the hills, Albus!_

_Oh no, he has no need._

I think you're lying.

_One: I'm in class. Two: I'm already too mad at Potter and Black. Count your blessings, Dumbledore._

-huge sigh of relief-

Ah! Idiot child! Didn't put their earmuffs on correctly, and we're working with mandrakes!

_That's problematic._

_So is Pettigrew accidently half-transfiguring Lupin into a pin-cushion!_

Filius, how could you betray me like that?

_Sorry, but I fear Minerva more than you._

You didn't have to say anything!

_But sometimes I could swear that the women you've hired have physic powers. Take Pomona for example. She always shows up at the right time to hear what she wants to!_

…your point has merit. They're probably more seer than the Divination professor.

_See?_

Yeah, yeah. You win. Concentrate on your class.

_Fine. I'll gloat at lunch._

* * *

Nice long chapter! Hope you enjoy it!

Sorry for just slipping the joke about McGonagall in there, but I couldn't think of a better place to put it! I'll probably put it somewhere else later, but that somewhere else has yet to be written.

I'm now to the point where I can give reviewers cockroach clusters, blood pops, or acid pops again! Take your pick and I'll send you a few, reviewers!


	16. Chapter 16

_**SIXTEEN – weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Does anyone else feel homicidal about Potter and Black?

_YES! _

-gasp- If Filius is feeling homicidal, that means I'm still sane!

_They've even been dragging Lupin and Pettigrew into pranks recently! Between the four of them it's hard to teach a lesson!_

**I find them rather enjoyable.**

You would.

**I just said that…**

Never mind.

What's all this talk about killing students?

Don't act like you haven't heard about what they've been doing! They have a credit of detentions that will last them into their fourth year!

Really?

Really!

It's a new school record!

You aren't going to take this seriously, are you?

I'm afraid not.

Some fantastic headmaster you are.

There is no reason to try and hurt my feelings!

Considering you'd be able to put a stop to those four Gryffindors if you actually were serious with them when we sent them to you, I think I will try and hurt your feelings!

I have tried being serious with them. They don't pay attention.

_I say we just send them home. Their 'little jokes' aren't even funny to their classmates anymore._

Ack! We aren't sending ANYONE home!

I don't think you realize how aggravating you're being, Dumbledore.

Me? Agrravating? Never!

You keep telling yourself that. In the mean time, I have to go tell Poppy why there are ten first years complaining of wanting to throw up.

Enjoy yourself.

I suggest you start running now, because I'm going to spin the story in a way that it appears to be your fault. Maybe then you'll take this less lightly.

I really don't think you're that cruel, Pomona.

Oh no? Watch me!

Think she'll actually do it?

_Yes._

Thanks, Filius. What a great friend. Such an optimist.

_Would you like me to lie and say no?_

Yes.

_Fine then. I don't think Pomona would spin her story. Happy now?_

Yes. 

_Pitiful._

_I need a detention idea like, NOW!_

_GIVE THEM TO FILCH!_

_Extremely tempting._

Send them to the forest. Hagrid has been having some sort of trouble in there.

_No, Lupin knows his way around. I've got all four of them._

_Ouch! _

_Indeed. Now I need ideas! They're just sitting there now… as a matter a fact, Potter looks really happy about something and that's beginning to get frightening…_

_Uhhh… uh…. I don't know!_

_You two are no help at all. Where's Pomona?_

_In the hospital wing trying to frame Albus for the 10 sick first years up there._

_THAT'S why she sent them to me in the first place! Dumbledore, I hope Pomona succeeds._

I think she might have… someone's coming up the stairs…

_-evil laugh-_

Hello all! Lovely evening, no?

_AHHH!! You succeeded in your task?_

That I did!

_Odd… people always think of you two as such lovely, nice, mature people._

Oh. Well we're very sneaky, aren't we?

_Unfortunately._

_Maybe I should send Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew down to Poppy?_

Too late. She's probably already screaming at Albus.

_Dang. _

Pomona, you are far meaner than I could have ever imagined!

Oh, is Poppy through yelling at you?

Yes, but I'm still trying to put my office back together.

I told you life would be peaceful if you didn't aggravate people! You still aren't listening!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

_Think Poppy's back in the hospital wing yet?_

Probably.

_Fantastic! I have to send Idiots 1-4 down there. _

No name calling, please!

Oh shut up, you old nutter!

Hey! Filius, do something, back me up!

_I agree with Pomona and Minerva, sorry._

Fine, just dandy. I'll just lock myself up in my office, never to be seen again!

Fantastic idea! I'll make sure the house-elves don't give you food, too. Sound good?

Yes, thank you.

* * *

GUESS WHAT! REVIEWERS GET E-GALLEONS AGAIN!!

That's right, I can afford it again! Reviewwwww nowwwwww. Click da buttonnnnnn! (Yes, I am in a VERY wierd mood right now)


	17. Chapter 17

Alright everyone, this is my favorite chapter so far, so I hope you like it!

* * *

_**SEVENTEEN- after detention**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

GUESS WHAT!!

**Can it wait James? I'm tired! I would almost prefer Filch for a detention than Pomfery.**

What I have to say will make you leap for joy!

**-yawn- Right now, more like bounce weakly. What's up?**

Hold on, where's Remus?

_Present! What do you want, James? I WANT SLEEP!!_

You were wrong, dear Remmy!

_About what?_

The Notebook!

_For the love of all that is magical, are you seriously keeping me up to hear about that? GET TO BED!_

But I found out how to open it!

**JAMES! YOU BETTER BE SERIOUS OR I'LL RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINES AND FEED THEM TO THE GIANT SQUID! HOW DO YOU OPEN IT?!**

Ewww… Sirius, that's gross.

**James, if you don't tell us right now, I will reach into my trunk and pull out my knife.**

Alright, alright! McGonagall's book has a password.

SIRIUS PUT THAT KNIFE SOMEWHERE ELSE OTHER THAN OVER MY STOMACH!

_Maybe you should tell him the password._

Fine! It's 'Hogwarts 1944'

**Where'd 44 come from?**

_Probably her graduation year, or the year she started working here, or maybe even her first year here..._

Are we bothering with this? Where's the book, Remus!

_Uhm… yeah… I kinda sent it home…_

You WHAT?

_Yeah… see, when you started trying to get detentions I sent the notebook back to my house saying that my bag was too heavy and I didn't need that notebook among other things…_

_Sirius, mind getting the knife away from me?_

…

_Sirius…_

_SIRIUS! BACK AWAY!_

I don't think he plans to.

**Hungry the squid is, oh yes!**

_**-A slight struggle ensues, resulting in Remus getting control of the knife and Sirius being pinned to the ground with a chicken wing-**_

_Are you going to try and do that again?_

I think you need to chicken wing his left arm so he can write with his right hand.

_Fine. _

_Now, are you going to try that again?_

**No! There, are you happy? Let me go!**

Remus, why did you send it away?!

_Because we shouldn't be messing with it! Sirius, sit down on your bed or I'm going to put you in a straight jacket!_

**If I sit down I'll fall asleep. Can we get it back?**

_No, we'll have to wait until third year to open it, if I bring it back at all._

**Wait! Are you going home for Christmas?**

_No, Mum and Dad are going to the States to visit my aunt._

**Well, through some series of unfortunate events, you're aunt may end up dying…**

_Then I'd be going to the States with my parents for the funeral. You lose, Sirius. You'll just have to wait!_

**But I caaaan't!**

Hey, I think Petey fell asleep at the beginning of this.

**-gasp- LET'S WRITE STUFF ON HIS FACE!!**

I'm game.

**Remus, you're forbidden to write on Peter's face owed to the fact that you sent the book away!**

_I wasn't going to write on his face anyway. I'd rather sleep, thanks. Good night!_

**Sleep tight!**

Don't forget to let the bed bugs bite, Remus!

_Ah ha ha ha. I might die from laughter._

**I wish you would.**

But then we'd NEVER get the book.

**Point. Anyway, time to write on Peter's face! **

YEAH!!

* * *

Tada! I amaze myself sometimes.

Reviewers now get 30 e-galleons a piece! My bank account is growing rapidly... what was that? NO! I'm NOT doing anything illegal... ... ...

BTW, my Irish Alter Ego has reminded me that I haven't put a disclaimer on here anywhere... but I think you're all bright enough to know that I'm not JKR, therefore, I won't put on another disclaimer anywhere on my story.

I've done some math and only one in every 52 viewers have reviewed! Please, save a writer; review!


	18. Chapter 18

_**Eighteen- even more weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Congratulations! We've made it to Christmas break!

_Barely. _

_Yeah… bad news, people._

Do I really want to hear it?

_Hmm... I don't know. Let's find out!_

I really hate it when you do that.

_Guess whose staying for Christmas this year!_

_Please, please, PLEASE say you're joking!_

_No, I'm completely serious! Isn't that the worst thing that's ever happened?_

If you think it's so horrible, why are you laughing?

_Temporary insanity! You know a lot about that, come on!_

Anyway… why isn't anyone else in the staffroom? We're supposed to be having a meeting in about five minutes!

I'm going to be late due to the fact that I need to scream into a pillow for a few minutes!

_Yeah… I guess I'll be running along to the staffroom now._

Fantastic!

_Pomona, you've got two minutes! Don't leave me alone in this!_

Well go get Slughorn first.

_Fine. _

_Albus, FETCH!_

I do believe that, as headmaster, I'm to be giving orders, so YOU fetch!

_If you aren't out of this room in 10 seconds, so help me Merlin, I will curse you into the next millennia! _

_10…_

_9…_

_8…_

Psshhh. We both know you won't.

_SEVEN…._

Now that makes no sense. Why just put the number on all the rest and write out seven?

_6…_

_5…_

_4…_

_3… Pulling out my wand now…_

_2…_

ALRIGHT! I'm going!

_-laugh- I love winning. It's so much fun._

-deep sigh- Alright, I'm going to head to the staffroom now.

_Done screaming, eh?_

No, just saving it for after a few cups of tea. My throat hurts already.

_I hope you were using a really thick pillow. Only three minutes have passed, you know._

Yeah… Oh well. See you in a few.

**When's that meeting?**

_It starts in about thirty seconds._

**Whoops! Coming! Sorry, got terribly wrapped up in a conversation with Sev- **

_I don't care! Get yourself over here._

**Fine!**

_And if you see Albus, duck out of the way so he misses the meeting._

**I'll be sure to do just the opposite!**

_Such a good coworker! You're now doomed._

**Let's see… so I've been doomed… 261 times now, I believe, give or take a few.**

_Ahh, wait until it hits 300!_

**I'd rather not. **

* * *

_**Great Hall – a bit later at lunch**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

**Why are all the teachers glaring at us? I'm scared, you guys… that's McGonagall's Glare of Impending Doom!**

Can we make it a rule that we can't use big words?

**No. It's too much fun!**

_Sirius, you really do come up with the oddest names for things! "Glare of Impending Doom"_

Hey! How come you were late, Remmy?

_I had to send a letter to my parents._

Oh shoot… I need to get working on that whole Christmas card thing… Mum said if I didn't send her one this year I couldn't use my broom the first week I got back.

_Anyway… Sirius, I have news that will make you happy and want to talk to me again._

**I'm sorry, but until the squid is quenched of it craving for intestines, or we get the book back, I don't talk to this little kiddie named Lupin!**

_Ah, but MY name is Remus!_

_Guess what I asked my parents to send back (against my own better judgment, I might add)!_

You're kidding!

_Would I joke about that? If I did, Sirius would rip open my gut while I was sleeping._

**Too right I would!**

_Sirius, I seriously did ask my parents to send the book back!_

**Which book?**

_You know what book._

**Come on, write the name. I'm confused. You have a lot of books.**

_FINE! The Teachers' Notebook! Are you happy now? It really does exist!_

**-gasp-**

-gasp-

Oh… Are we gasping? –gasp-

_Yes, I admit it! Happy? Are you, are you, are you!?_

**Ecstatic!**

QUIT IT WITH THE BIG WORDS!!

**Alright, fine… but first you have to belch.**

But I'll get in trouble this time! McGonagall already yelled at me last time!

**Peter, do it or I'll cut out your intestines and feed them to the squid.**

_You seem to like that threat, Sirius._

_**-loud burp from Peter-**_

**Hey, it works!**

**Good job, Petey!**

Bravo, bravo!

_And so McGonagall descends from the staff table. Mad dash?_

**Abandon all hope! Run men, RUN!**

* * *

I like that chapter.

Reviews make me want to update faster!

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...TAKE THE HINT AND REVIEW!!

Now if you don't mind, I have a staff meeting in 2 minutes and I really don't want to be late. Meetings are an excellent place for me to get material.

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	19. Chapter 19

Without further ado, I present to you... drumrolll! ... Chapter NINETEEN! **_

* * *

_**

**_NINETEEN – Christmas day_**

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Happy Christmas!

_Is it really? I've lost track of the days._

_Why is that?_

She's hardly gotten any sleep!

_She never gets any sleep. Why is this so different?_

_Hey! I normally get three or four hours! The last three days I've only gotten about half an hour a night._

_Why is that?_

_Guess._

_What have they been doing now?_

_It's Christmas! They're trying to sneak around the castle. From what snippets of their whispering I've heard, if I wasn't catching them we'd be in trouble._

IT'S CHRISTMAS!

_Oh look, the five year old mind has come back!_

I believe it's acceptable to act like a five year old on Christmas!

_You believe a lot of things, Albus._

Anyway! Staff party after dinner!

Hoorah!

**Staff party? I love parties! **

_Pity you won't be able to go._

**What do you mean? Of course I can come!**

_Oh really? Canceled your Slug Club party this year?_

**Drat.**

_That's what I thought._

**Oh wait! I planned that for TOMORROW!**

Splendid!

Merlin's beard! You all should see this! Minerva just fell asleep on the book she was reading. Oooo! It's a LIBRARY BOOK! Irma Pince, get over here!

No, no, no, no, no, no! NO! Get a picture, and then we can use it against her!

That's blackmail. It's despicable. … I like it!

Fantastic! Take the picture!

From what you know of me, do you honestly think I've got a camera on me?

There's a point I haven't considered.

I've got one in greenhouse three; I was getting pictures for a magazine.

Filius, would you mind getting that? The Minister is supposed to be coming soon.

_Unlike some, I'm smart enough not to take part in this._

That's not smart, that's being cowardly!

_You and your Gryffindor views!_

Someone go get that camera before Irma comes and ruins the picture. Ah! Hurry up, she's drooling now!

Nasty.

Fine! I'll take this matter into my own hands! What little bookworm is sitting around the library? I'll be back in a minute.

Be sure to send me the picture! I can hear the Minister coming! Farewell!

_How old are we again?_

Hey! You don't stop playing because you get old; you get old because you stop playing!

_Whatever you say, Pomona. _

Pft! Either way, you're older than I am.

_-gasp- Did I just see one of your house with a SLYTHERIN?_

NO! YOU'RE JOKING! IT CAN'T BE TRUE!!

_Ah ha! Gotcha!_

Filius Flitwick! That was horrible of you! I almost woke up Minerva without getting a picture!

_Oh, I'M horrible?_

Yes, you are! Oh look! There's the little Ravenclaw with the camera! Talk to you at the staff party!

_I'll be sure to talk to said little Ravenclaw. I'm almost certain I know who it is!_

* * *

**_­­­__THE LIBRARY_**

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

I knew we'd get something out of it if we went to the library for a few minutes! Did you see McGonagall?

**YES! HILARIOUS! She was like… drunk or something! She kept swaying and couldn't walk in a straight line! HILARIOUS!**

Sirius, you promised no big words today!

**Sorry, Petey!**

Remus, admit it. You thought that was funny.

_Yeah… it was pretty entertaining!_

I'm going to go check it out, maybe she passed out or something. Does one of you have my cloak?

**Yeah, here.**

_I wonder what the teachers do on Christmas?_

-laughing- THEY TAKE PICTURES!

_Huh?_

Sprout was just taking a picture of McGonagall asleep on a book!

**AHHH!! THAT'S FUNNY!**

What do the teachers do on Christmas? Do you seriously not know Remus?

_No, I don't know._

They have a staff party in the staffroom! Everyone knows that!

_I didn't._

Me either!

**Have we figured out the password to the staffroom yet?**

Not according to the Marauder's Book. We've got the password to Dumbledore's office though, so maybe we can follow him and find out, or hang out in his office and maybe he'll give us a hint.

I think it'd be better to just hang around the staffroom door.

_You don't mean we're breaking into their party, do you?_

Course we are!

_-slams head down on table-_

Aw. McGonagall woke up… from the camera flash! Oh, Sprout's dead meat.

**Shall we follow and see what happens?**

Certainly! Let's go!

**Quickly, men! Time is of the essence!**

Towards Sprout! We must offer her assistance!

* * *

_**TEACHERS' NOTEBOOK**_

_POMONA SPROUT! Give me that picture!_

I don't have it!

_Not anymore! I will find out where it is!_

Oh, now I SINCERELY doubt that.

_Pomona…_

Yes?

_Who did you give that picture to?_

I'm not at liberty to say.

_Pomo… Oh. Oh you didn't!_

What?

_THEY were in the library! TELL ME YOU DIDN'T!!_

Oh, you mean your loveable pranksters?

_YOU DID!!_

Innocent until proven guilty!

_I'll prove you guilty once I find them! It will NOT be hard if they have the picture, I assure you!_

_What's going on now?_

Pomona! Did you get that picture?

Yes I did!

Brilliant! Where is it now?

In trustworthy hands.

That is not an adequate response.

It's the only one your getting for now. You should know within the next 10 minutes who has it.

_When Minerva asks, I had nothing to do with any of this!_

Of COURSE you didn't, Filius!

_Don't make me remind you of who here is the dueling champion!_

Yeah, the dueling champion that BARELY PASSED herbology!

_Herbology has nothing to do with dueling!_

I'll make herbology have something to do with dueling.

POMONA! THIS PICTURE IS HILARIOUS! I'm off to put it up in the staffroom!

Duplicate it first!

Done. Oh no… I think Minerva's knocking on my door!

Peeves! Old buddy! Get over here!

* * *

_**IN A RANDOM HALLWAY**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Oh my gosh! I can't walk anymore you guys! I can't laugh this hard and make it all the way to the common room!

_Laugh quietly! Someone will hear you and with our reputation, they'll ask questions!_

Oh, you're only laughing a little quieter than I am!

_Hey! Where's Petey going?_

**OHMIGOSH! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT! **

_Seen what?!_

**PETER WAS LAUGHING SO HARD HE 'PERSONALLY WET' HIMSELF!**

_Gross!_

Then why are you laughing?

_I didn't say it wasn't funny, I just said it was gross! Oi! Sirius, watch where you fall! You almost landed in the puddle there!_

I can't breathe!

**SHHHH!! Someone's coming!**

Check to see who it is!

**RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! IT'S MCGONAGALL, AND SHE'S NOT HAPPY!**

* * *

_**-The boys have started running-**_

"Sirius!" James gasped once they'd reached a safe secret passageway, "We've lost Remus!"

"NO! We can't leave the poor boy behind! McGonagall will destroy him! Quickly! Out we go!" Without another word, James and Sirius darted out of their hiding spot and out into the corridor, down the way they'd come.

When they found him, Remus was bent backwards in effort to keep as far away from Professor McGonagall as possible, who was towering over him and very nearly screaming. James almost burst out laughing again though, for McGonagall was standing in a puddle that wasn't supposed to be there.

"Remus!" cried Sirius, "James found me. I'm it, but now we still have to find Peter."

Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow at Sirius's interruption.

James caught on and backed his buddy up, "We're playing hide-and-go-seek, Professor!"

"Is that so?" McGonagall looked at Remus, who bobbed his head up and down. "Don't you think you're a bit old for that game?"

James smiled widely. "Would you rather we play Exploding Snap?"

"NO!" the professor exclaimed. "No! Continue your game, but go hide in your dorms and make sure I don't have to seek you!" She gave them one last piercing look and then strode off.

After a minute of silence, James let his laughter out, and when asked, he merely pointed to the spot where Professor McGonagall had been standing. Sirius and Remus collapsed in laughter as well and anyone who walked by decided it was best not to ask.

* * *

Vwalla! Whatcha think of that? Let me know in a REVIEW! (btw, thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter) Reviewers get e-galleons to buy some pretty kick awsome e-hogwarts stuff.

Now, I found my plot bunny, so hopefully I'll update more often. I'm going to try to get through year three in two weeks... so wish me luck!

Now, click the review button... or... or... or... I snap my CD in half!


	20. Chapter 20

_**TWENTY- staff party**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Alright, now that we're outside the staffroom…shoot…

**What?**

I don't have my invisibility cloak!

**YOU'RE KIDDING!**

That I am!

**Don't do that to me James! I almost had a heart attack.**

_I wish you would've! This is your worst idea yet, Sirius!_

**Well maybe if you'd help us with the ideas we could bring our pranks up to your standards!**

_This isn't a prank! This is just pure curiosity! Remember, curiosity killed the cat!_

**I see myself as more of a dog, actually. **

Alright, ladies! Under the cloak, let's go.

_There, we're under, now what?_

In we go!

Wait! Wait, dude, I think I hear a person!

Uh, yeah. Hogwarts is full of them, Peter. If you see a talking spider, tell me that. Then we'll stop.

**Hey! Here comes out ticket in! Dear old Dumbledore!**

And in corner two comes McGonagall! Daanngg… she looks mad.

_I wonder why! _

**Me too!**

_Honestly! Sirius, we all know Dumbledore had something to do with that picture._

**Whatever. I'm on the Headmaster's side.**

_Until he gets his butt kicked._

Oi! The fight is about to start, can we stop writing for a while?

* * *

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore!" hissed Professor McGonagall.

Dumbledore smiled. "Minerva!"

"Wipe that stupid grin off your face and tell me what you did with that picture!"

Under the cloak James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all exchanged devastated looks. By delivering the picture they had possibly doomed their headmaster.

"What picture?" Dumbledore asked innocently.

"Albus, let me put things into perspective for you," snapped McGonagall. "I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I'm already agitated. Do you REALLY want to push your luck right now?"

"Seriously, what picture?"

James was impressed with Dumbledore's acting skills.

McGonagall closed her eyes for a brief moment before looking Dumbledore straight in the eye. ("The Glare of Impending Doom!" Sirius breathed.) "Dumbledore, what am I going to see when I walk into the staffroom?"

"Your colleagues enjoying themselves and exchanging gifts, the usual!" the Headmaster responded merrily.

McGonagall suddenly reached her hand out, grabbed the front of Dumbledore's robes and reeled him in so her face was a mere three inches from his, no matter how hard he tried to pull back. "Let me make one thing _very_ clear. Should I find anything in the staffroom that I don't want to, you'll be doing paperwork, plus the equivalent of all the grading I've ever done for you, until your dying day!" She shoved him back and then walked into the staffroom, but amidst her muttering, the Marauders missed the password.

Dumbledore rubbed his neck. "Reason 399, I think now."

"Nope!" said a jolly voice from behind, "Reason 412."

"What reason?" James mouthed.

Remus shrugged in reply.

"Are you sure?" Dumbledore asked as he straightened. Peter winced as he heard the man's spine pop from top to bottom.

"Positive!" responded Professor Sprout. "Now, did you put that picture up?"

"I had, but I owe Mrs. Norris a lot of thanks right now. The Menace tore it up."

"I'll be sure to kick her later."

"Just make sure that Argus doesn't catch you."

Sprout suddenly began laughing. "Filch, catch me? Ha! He didn't catch me for the new office 'decorations' Minerva and I gave him a few years ago, or the other hundreds of times I've booted Norris out of places. What makes you think he'd catch me this time?"

"His office was _your_ fault?" Dumbledore said slowly.

"Well, it was Minerva's idea, but I found the spell."

"It took me near a month to get all of that graffiti off!"

"Is that so? You actually had to do something?"

"Would _you_ like to deal with the Ministry?"

"No, no. That's alright. You can keep your single duty," said Sprout seriously, despite the smile.

Dumbledore began muttering, "I love my staff. I love my staff. I love my staff…"

"Aw. We love you too, Albus." Professor Sprout faced the staffroom door and said clearly, "Hufflepuff." The door swung open and admitted her and her employer. Unknown to them, the door also admitted four second year Gryffindors.

* * *

Dude! We actually got in!

_Yeah, now we're stuck in here under an invisibility cloak. We can still be walked into! What now, genius?_

Oh… there's something I hadn't thought about…

**Quickly! Into the closet over yonder! March! Left, left, left right left!**

_We can't go to the closet. That's their STORAGE closet, see? Flitwick just came out with a bottle of firewhiskey! They'll be going in and out of there constantly!_

**So we'll go over to that uninhabited corner. There isn't anything there.**

_You've doomed us all!_

You know what? Doom is a really fun word. Doom, doom, doom, doom!

_James! We're going to MEET our doom if you start skipping again!_

Doom, doom, doom!

* * *

Minerva McGonagall scanned the staffroom with a critical eye, looking for any sign of a photograph.

"Minerva!" boomed Slughorn from behind as he smacked a hand on her shoulder, "Where've you been hiding? Half an hour late! Tsk, tsk!"

Minerva waved off a second smack from her colleague's half drunk fingers with a disgusted look. "You were drinking before you came, weren't you?"

"I don't think sho. Why do you ashk?"

"Because I'm only five minutes late." Minerva held up three fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Seven!" said Slughorn proudly. "Sheeeee? I told you!"

"I'm holding up three. Sit down, Horace, before you hurt yourself."

Slughorn managed to make it to a chair and then started giggling at nothing.

Pomona stepped up next to Minerva and surveyed the party as well. "Everything seems to be going as usual."

Minerva sighed and sat down on the steps leading down into the staffroom. "Horace's closet needs to be checked again."

"I already did that yesterday. Nothing's there. He moved it," stated Pomona as she sat down next to her friend.

"One of us better find it before a student does. Remember that disaster?"

"Yup. Spent the night throwing up. What was it? Sixth year?"

"_Early _sixth year. Can you imagine the hangover we'd have had if it weren't for Poppy?"

Pomona only winced in response.

"What's this?" squaked Rolanda Hooch, "Reminiscing without me?" She flopped down on the stairs as well.

"Just discussing Slughorn's cache of things he ought not to have in his office," Pomona said casually.

"Ohhhh, you mean that cache we broke into in sixth year? That was really rather easy to do," Rolanda sounded as if she were sorry it hadn't been more of a challenge.

Little did the trio of teachers know that close by, four of their students clung to their every word, extremely amused and already plotting.

"Oh, you're kidding!" Minerva suddenly snapped.

"What? No I'm not! Getting into his storage was ridiculously easy!" Rolanda said back defensively.

"No! Not that! They're starting with drinking contests!" Minerva walked over to the crowd of teachers and got to the center before she started screaming, "What are you doing? You have classes tomorrow! Put that shot down, Horace, you've enough alcohol in your system as it is! Sebastian, for a Ravenclaw, you're acting ridiculously stupid!" Once both men had put their shots down, Minerva snatched up the bottles of firewhiskey and put them back in the storage room, muttering in Latin the entire time.

"Awe, come on, _mum_," said Sebastian, the Defense teacher, jokingly to Minerva, "Its Christmas, get into the spirit!"

Minerva glared at the man and then said, "Fine! Go ahead, drink to your heart's content! But don't say I didn't warn you!" The defense teacher only rolled his eyes. "Don't you roll your eyes at me, Poppy won't help you handle your hangover," with that, Minerva began to return to her seat on the stairs.

Sebastian suddenly stood up on a chair. "My fellow colleagues! I hereby challenge Minerva M. McGonagall to a drinking contest!"

The staff looked excited. Under the invisibility cloak, four young Gryffindors got antsier by the second, desperate to see such an event occur.

Minerva, however, was furious. "Idiotic boy! Only a fool would challenge a Scottish woman. You know you'd lose, so let's save you a headache for tomorrow, shall we?"

The defense teacher rolled his eyes. "Fine! If you won't drink, than duel!"

"That 'challenge' I'll take!" Minerva walked to a bare area of the room. The area where Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew watched in fascination, forgetting they were in the way.

Both Sebastian and Minerva took position. "The stakes?" Minerva asked.

"You win, the firewhiskey stays in storage. I win, it comes back out."

"Very well," Minerva agreed as the other teachers exchanged money.

"Seconds?"

"No need."

"Certain?"

"Absolutely," after Minerva's statement, she and Sebastian drew their wands. Seconds later, the duel began.

* * *

"Dude, dude, dude! What are we supposed to do now?" Sirius whispered once the duel had started.

"I _told_ you! We shouldn't have come in the first place!" Remus hissed.

"We just have to wait it out and hope that nothing hits us," James breathed.

* * *

The duel had only been going on for three minutes before a red beam of light collided with Sebastian. The staff collected the money they'd bet, most of them laughing, but a few were rather aggravated.

Minerva walked over to the stunned defense teacher and put a foot on his chest, then her elbow on her knee and her hand under her chin. "Courage doesn't come in bottles labeled 'firewhiskey' and it is unwise to think so. And I believe you lose. So I shouldn't see any bottles." She then walked back to the steps and sat back down.

"Well that didn't take long," Pomona commented.

"Ah, give him a break, he's new," Rolanda said sympathetically.

Suddenly the three friends burst into laughter, but Minerva managed to gasp, "Oh, sure. Give Sebastian a break when we didn't give Dumbledore one?"

Pomona took several deep breaths. "That man must've hated us until we graduated!"

"I didn't hate you, though you did get rather irksome," Dumbledore said as he walked over, "Honestly, the only group that has come close to causing as much trouble as you has been Misters Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew, and they're still a while behind."

("We have to fix that," James grinned as he whispered.)

"For the sake of my sanity I hope they never catch up," said Minerva.

"They will, I've no doubt. Ahhh, it's nice to know I won't have to deal with them disrupting any class of mine!"

"Oh, shut it! I am going to do my best to make them your problem. I'll set Walburga after _you_ when she starts complaining!"

("She'll be sending Dumbledore to his death!" Sirius gasped.)

Dumbledore stepped back. "You can't possibly be that cruel! That's worse than paperwork!"

Minerva perked up. "Is that so? Well, I'll write to Walburga tomorrow and tell her about the almighty prank her son will probably pull tonight, likely on _Slytherins_. I can hear her screaming now, 'Dumbledore! How could you let my son commit such treachery?'"

"And then I can write to Mr. Pettigrew and tell him about how you made his son cry."

("Dude, McGonagall made you cry?" asked James. Peter blushed and looked down. James patted his shoulder.)

"The Pettigrews are pushovers. I doubt they'd do anything. And I didn't make him cry."

"Yes you did! I saw the poor boy running down the hall to his dorm!"

"Some Gryffindor courage he's got," Rolanda teased, earning her a smack on the arm from Minerva.

"I'd cry to if Minerva started picking on me in the middle of class," Dumbledore said as he conjured a chair and sat down.

"I wasn't 'picking' on him! Merely chastising for not practicing the spell I assigned, and for someone accusing someone else of picking on someone, you're being rather hypocritical," Minerva added shortly.

"Whatever you say, Minerva," Dumbledore rolled his eyes when she wasn't looking.

"It's really a shame. They're so smart, all of them! Why don't the put their noses into books instead of dung bombs?" Minerva sounded frustrated.

"Same reason we didn't, more thank likely," Pomona said nonchalantly.

"Speaking of your little clique –" Dumbledore was cut off.

"It is _not_ a clique, for the final bloody time!" Minerva snapped.

"Little clique," Dumbledore repeated, "where's Poppy?"

"Some seventh year's potion blew up and she's throwing up every twenty minutes," Rolanda said and winced at the same time.

"Nasty," Dumbledore commented. "Now get off the steps and join the actual party!" and he walked back to the main part of the room. Five minutes later, Minerva, Pomona, and Rolanda followed his steps.

* * *

Well, I don't think that's one of my best chapters... but review anyway! Reviewers now get 40 e-galleons. Working two jobs really has its advantages, even if you do get back to your room and practically pass out, and then you have to wake up really early because you look like a total wreck...

Anyway, let me know if you loved it, liked it, or hated it. Review! Three... Two... One... if you haven't reviewed yet, I'm going to send someone after you, and you won't be happy afterwards. Second chance. You have ten seconds to review. Ten... Nine... Eight...


	21. Chapter 21

_**TWENTY-ONE – still Christmas in Boy's dorms**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

DUDE! That was awesome!

**Intense. Hey, did they ever wake up the Defense teacher?**

_Yes, I don't think we noticed though._

Kinda funny…

**We saw a lot of funny stuff, James. You have to be more specific.**

Half our teachers used to be big pranksters!

_Probably still are and we don't know it._

Oooo! Let's share our favorite parts of the staff 'meeting'!

_The duel, most definitely! Fascinating!_

**I have to say mine was McGonagall and Dumbledore talking about my Mum. Speaking of that conversation, we should pull something tomorrow instead; no one will expect it.**

Fine. My favorite part was seeing Slughorn trying to get up the steps at the end! HILARIOUS!

WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN?!

What was your favorite part, Petey?

I don't know. It was all fun!

You know what? We have something to hold over all the teachers' heads now.

_What is with you and blackmail?_

**I still object to that term.**

_For someone who doesn't like carrying their last name you get rather defensive about it._

Anyway, we could get away with pretty much anything now.

**We could get away with more if we had the NOTEBOOK!! I still think I ought to cut out your intestines, Remus. The squid agrees.**

_That's fantastic. Unfortunately, neither you nor the squid could catch me._

**Stupid werewolf.**

_Awe, I love it when people are jealous of my problem. Let's see, those people are Sirius… and Sirius… and Sirius… Jeez, this Sirius sounds pretty stupid…_

**Shut up, you… you… I don't know.**

_You LOSE._

Ok, plotting time, boys! What to do?

**I say we 'pretend' to cut out Remus's intestines and then 'pretend' to feed them to the squid.**

_Would you get over that, Sirius? It's annoying!_

**-grins- Is that so?**

Congratulations, Remus! You've just sold your sanity.

_Sirius, put that knife away!_

**Sure thing!**

_Sirius, the knife does not belong in my stomach, so get it away from said place!_

**The knife belongs there now! Squid be hungry!**

_I'm hungry for squid! Calamari!_

… Is calamari squid?

_Yeah…_

NO! I HAVE BETRAYED THE GIANT SQUID!

**JAMES! HOW COULD YOU HAVE EATEN OUR FRIEND'S FRIEND?**

I DIDN'T KNOW! I HAVE TO GO APOLOGIZE! SQUIDDY I'M SO SORRY!

Bedtime!

_No, we'd better go after them. Sirius might try to sacrifice James._

* * *

I'm not going to lie, I'm rather proud of this chapter!

I'm going to try to kick updating into overdrive. Soon I'll be too busy to update! Yes, it's true, and I'm sorry, but real life is just being a pain in the butt!

First person to review gets 40 e-galleons and a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans! Everyone else gets 30 and 10 individual BBEFB! Soooo... review now to get the box of BBEFB and the 40 e-galleons!


	22. Chapter 22

_**TWENTY-TWO – week later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_Guess what!_

What?

_It's time to send a letter to Walburga Black!_

NO IT'S NOT!

_Have you SEEN the Great Hall?_

YES! Graffiti EVERYWHERE!

Really shows their skill, doesn't it? I suggest getting to work on cleaning that up.

_Oh, no you don't! The Great Hall is YOUR domain!_

But YOU'RE responsible for the Gryffindors!

Albus, this is your fault, get yourself down to the Great Hall!

How, pray tell, is this MY fault?

_Because you wouldn't exercise discipline with Idiots 1-4!_

Yes I did!

_Giving them candy when we send them to you doesn't exactly discourage them from causing trouble, Albus!_

That was ONE time!

_Times 100._

Why does Hogwarts hate me?

_Because you are single handedly driving all its caretakers to the edge of their sanity! And you started with Filch! He USED to be tolerable! I'm almost ready to jump off the edge into complete insanity myself, and we still have five more years to deal with these four!_

Welcome to the mindset the teachers had when YOU were in school!

_Yeah, well Dippet was actually stern with us! Actually doled out punishment!_

Yeah, I got suspended for a week.

Then you came back and picked up where you started! Trust me – 

_Pah! Yeah right! Trust YOU!_

Nothing is going to make them stop. We just have to stick it out until they run out of ideas.

_Then they'll start repeats! Now go clean up the Great Hall!_

Why should I when you're the one who knows how to clean it up! I already looked at it, and it's the same spell you used on Filch's office a few years ago.

_Fantastic! You've cleaned it up once, now do it again while I go restrain myself from committing homicide!_

Pomona, you said you found the spell, so go take care of the Great Hall.

I've got class.

It's Saturday!

Exactly.

Grrr! I ought to just start the staff from scratch.

No one will work for you while Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew are still here, so good luck with that.

Such optimism. 

**Why is the lake orange?**

PROBLEM AFTER PROBLEM AFTER PROBLEM! ROAR!

…**That doesn't answer my question…**

_Albus is as good as dead._

**Why is that?**

_Minerva just SKIPPED out of the owlery._

**That's problematic. Who was she writing to?**

_Probably the Blacks._

**Ouch! I think I'll just stay in my office a while.**

_Yup. Here she comes through the front gate… She's really not happy… Goodbye, Albus! It's been nice knowing you!_

**And there's Minerva greeting Mrs. Black… there's Mrs. Black being led into the school, and presumably to wherever Dumbledore is.**

_Ouch… I can hear the really high pitched screams…_

_We should probably help him…_

_Don't you dare, Filius!_

_Why is it that either you or Pomona are everywhere all the time?_

_It's a gift._

**More like an obstacle.**

_If you'd like to view it that way. Wow… ten minutes and Walburga is still going…_

_Between her, you, and Pomona, poor Albus will be deaf before long._

_Pity._

**Minerva wants Albus gone so she can have his office and power!**

_Oh yeah, that's it. I would LOVE to have to deal with the Ministry and all the other… never mind. The other teachers already do complain to me… then I complain to Albus for them… huh…_

_Feeling like an owl, Minerva?_

_A bit…_

**Gah! I'm out of lacewings! Does Walburga sound like she's anywhere near done screaming?**

_I doubt it. Most of the writing on the Great Hall wall is about Slytherin._

**-sigh- Well, toodles for now! I'm going to attempt to find the way out of the castle furthest away from the Great Hall.**

_Good luck with that. Dang! Walburga has a good pair of lungs!_

Well maybe Dumbledore will actually crack down on the quartet now!

_Sincerely doubt that. Oh dear…_

_What?_

_I think I feel World War III coming on._

_Why is that?_

_I hereby declare myself the Switzerland of this upcoming war! _

_FILIUS! _

_NO! STOP! I'M NEUTERAL! _

* * *

Teeheeehee. I've bee waiting to carry out the Walburga Black threat. She'll probably be back, too!

Anyway, I have to get myself out of the Three Broomsticks. Some of my fellow staffmemebers are heading towards him. Oh no. Mcgonagall is with them... I really got to run! Don't forget to review, you'll get e-galleons and a free butterbeer!

NO! THERE ISN'T A BACK DOOR HERE! WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?!

Umm... I'll try to update tomorrow, but I may be in the Hospital Wing.


	23. Chapter 23

_**TWENTY THREE- weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_Just a month left! Can we make it?_

I have no idea.

This is sad. Filius is two feet away from me and I can hardly hear him!

**It's an improvement to not being able to hear at all.**

Yes… I still haven't gotten you back yet, have I, Minerva?

_I'M NEUTERAL!!_

_Try as you might, I am the prank master here, therefore, you lose no matter what you try._

I'm a world renowned wizard! I think I'm worth competition.

_Hardly. Who here has mastered becoming an Animagus?_

I didn't want to be one!

_No, you couldn't get it and that's why you coached me to become one to see if anyone could!_

You keep telling yourself that.

_Ah! Class. NOOOO!! IT'S THE SECOND YEARS!! _

I wish you luck.

_Thanks, I'll need it._

* * *

_**TRANSFIGURATION**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Sirius?

**What?**

I think we've gone overboard on annoying the teachers.

_I AGREE!_

**You think so, James?**

Think about it! When was the last time a teacher was happy to see us? And do you remember the staff party?

**Maybe we have gone over…**

_I AGREE!_

Shut up, Remus!

**Hmmm… let's not pull anything for a week and see what happens.**

K. Remus, it's your job to keep an eye on us. If you see us plotting, make us stop.

_Gladly! _

* * *

_**TEACHER'S NOTEBOOK -Two weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_I'm really rather frightened and worried._

Why is that?

_It's been two weeks and Potter and Black haven't tried to pull anything…_

I'm losing sleep over it. Scared that they'll let a banshee in during the middle of the night.

I'm sure if they were trying to pull anything you'd know about it. Maybe they just changed for the better?

_AHHH!! You're killing me with laughter!_

_I, for one, am sure that they'll pull something at the very end of the year… uh oh… that means we only have a week to prepare!_

_That's not good…_

BATTLE PLANS! Who is patrolling tonight?

_Filius and I, but Poppy has them for detention._

_FANTASTIC! They'll be too tired to do anything!_

I'll go tell her to tire them out.

_Who has them for detention tomorrow?_

_Filch. Ahhh, love it! We don't even need to ask him to tire them out._

_Night after that we have them separated, don't we?_

_Yes, I have Potter and Pettigrew and Pomona has Black and Lupin._

_Good. Night after?_

_No! They have Horace! _

I doubt he'll go easy on them this time. They tried to steal his crystallized pineapple.

_Oh! Ok, we're covered. Then it's the weekend, and they go home on Monday!_

_Am I imagining things… of did I just hear a big boom?_

_-sigh- I feel better now. We now know they aren't under the Imperious. I'll go find them._

* * *

Alright, vwalla! Hope you enjoyed it! Now, remember how I was trying to get out of the Three Broomsticks a little bit ago? Well, I decided to hide out in Rosemerta's office, and I was almost home free, but then I sneezed at the wrong time. So, I came back to Rosemerta's to update, but now I have to go back to that cave right outside Hogsmeade. If any of the teacher's ask, you don't know where I am!

Review please! I'll sacrifice some of my running money to you if you do!


	24. Chapter 24

_**TWENTY-FOUR- LAST DAY**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Another year has past!

_AND WE MADE IT THROUGH THE YEAR! CONGRATULATIONS TO MOST OF YOU!_

MOST of us?

_Well you hardly did anything… so you have no reason to be congratulated._

I take offense to that and wish to have a chance to defend myself!

_Wish denied._

Our year isn't over yet. We need to search the castle.

_-sigh- Later. I think it can wait a few hours._

_Let's just leave it. What comes will come, and if we don't run into anything this summer, the students will when they come back and we can laugh at them in secrecy!_

…_That works too._

I swear everyone on this staff has schizophrenia.

_Why is that?_

Because around parents and other important people, you're sweet as can be.

… _Would you like us to scare away potential students' parents?_

No, that's quite alright.

_Then stop complaining, or just shut up all together, either way works._

WHY DOES HOGWARTS HATE ME?!

_Four reasons… Hey! Those reasons are gone for three months! _

So why does Hogwarts still hate me?

We're just holding a grudge against you, now!

Fantastic. Why don't you just lock me in my office again?!

Hey! That was only for an hour, and that was after you made the suggestion!

I was joking! And you didn't have to lock me in during dinner!

You told me to have the house elves not bring you food!

Hopeless case.

**MY CRYSTALIZED PINEAPPLE HAS DISAPPEARED!!**

_Is that so?_

**YES! IT IS SO! POTTER! BLACK!! GET BACK HERE!**

Minerva…

_What?_

Give him the pineapple back…

**MCGONGALL!! IT WAS YOU!**

_And if it was?_

**Run away, leave the pineapple, and never return.**

_I'm fine where I am, actually._

**Then run for your own sake!**

_Let me know when you've started running after me, and then I'll get my shoes on and walk elsewhere._

**Mark my words, McGonagall, I'll get you for this!**

_I'm sure. Oh darn… my owl seems to have knocked the pineapple out the window!_

**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!**

Horace, you can just go buy more!

…Horace?

Horace?!

He's fallen onto the staffroom floor and is currently almost crying…

_Woooowww… … Does anyone have a camera?_

I'm afraid not.

_Pomona?_

In greenhouse seven…

_Why do you have to have it in the most advanced greenhouse? You know I failed Herbology!_

Yup. Well, I'd go get it, but Filius and I bet on how long Horace would cry, so I can't leave. If I did Filius would cheat me.

_Would not!_

Liar! We all know you would.

…_So?_

Right… well I hope he's stopped crying within the next three minutes. Staff meeting!

_Oh joy._

I feel sick?

Ah ha ha. Stay in the staffroom!

…_Albus is getting REALLY annoying…_

We'll get him later. I'll talk to Rolanda and Poppy.

_Fantastic! _

We're off to get the wizard, the awful head of Hogwarts!

* * *

Sorry all, I meant to update yesturday, I really did, but I was still on the run and I couldn't risk staying in one place for more than five minutes! However, I'm back in my office now. It took quite a bit of work, but I think I'm safe from the rest of the staff for at least a week now!

Review, it makes me update faster!

Reviewers will also recieve a magical pet mouse! ...not Scabbers, don't worry.


	25. THIRD YEAR

_**TWENTY-FIVE- Third year- on the train**_

* * *

"JAMES! PETER!" exclaimed Sirius as he threw open the compartment door.

"Sirius!" Peter squeaked and walked into the compartment followed by James.

"Did you see Remus?" James asked as he gestured to the seat next to him.

"No, but he'll be here soon," Sirius responded and sat down.

"Good. We have to tackle him and take his trunk when he comes in."

"Here he comes!" exclaimed Peter.

James opened the compartment door and looked down the corridor and shouted, "REMUS! Over here!"

A minute later Remus was sitting down and taking his time searching through his trunk.

"Remus," Sirius said anxiously, "just pull it out!"

"Hold on! It's at the bottom with the rest of my books!"

Sirius couldn't wait any longer. He jumped out of his seat and started taking things out of Remus's trunk and throwing them at the owner.

"Sirius! Quit it! I had everything the way I wanted it!"

"Found it! James, what was the password again?"

James ripped the book out of Sirius's hands and said clearly, "Hogwarts 1944." The book fell open in his hands and writing began slinking across the pages.

* * *

_**Teachers' Notebook**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

A new year! Huzzah!

_Whoop de do. _

Don't be so thrilled, Minerva, you might hurt yourself.

_Maybe I would be more excited if I weren't so tired because someone forgot to get a bunch of stuff and sent me out to get it, eh, Albus?_

I have no recollection of such an event!

_Then I guess I can throw out these healing potions from Diagon Alley someone asked me to get for Poppy!_

NO! Don't do that!

_That's what I thought._

AH! I can't find the spell book I'm looking for! Minerva, did you take any of my books?

_No. Are you sure you didn't borrow it from the library and Irma Pince took it back?_

Yes! I'm sure that the one I'm looking for is mine because I wrote in it and it didn't try to eat me!

_Well I don't have it. _

_I'm missing a Charms book, too!_

_I think Horace asked about a potions book he didn't want lying around earlier, too._

_Rolanda couldn't find her book of Quidditch rules._

_Albus…_

Hmm?

Dumbledore!

WHAT?!

_Where are the books?_

I can't help it if you misplace things!

_HEY! There's an empty spot on my shelf! You took one of my books too!_

I did not!

_Liar! I don't misplace things; remember?_

School hasn't even started and everyone's already mad at me!

_Albus, I will give you paperwork again if you don't give us the books back!_

I don't have them.

_Maybe I can take some of Slughorn's things and then frame Black and owl Walburga…_

NO! I've only just recovered! Fine! Your book are in the staffroom under a floorboard under one of the couches, can't remember which.

_Well go get them!_

ME?

_Yes! You took them, so FETCH!_

Meh. 

_Does anyone have an idea why Horace has paper spread all over his desk?_

_He still hasn't gotten me back for knocking his Crystallized Pineapple out the window. He might be plotting._

_-sigh- People have this staff so messed up._

What? They really expect us to act like we do in class all the time? Do you know how boring life would get?

I thought you defined that as 'peaceful'. 

If we were to act the same was we did in class all the time that would be BORING, life is PEACEFUL when you DON'T AGGRAVATE YOUR STAFF ON PURPOSE!

Pffft. That'd be boring.

I'm sure.

_Roar. Half an hour until they all come back. _

I suggest leaving the Gryffindor Common Room, then.

_Hey, I'm inspecting!_

From a chair in front of the fireplace, perhaps?

_Exactly._

AH! The train got here early! Look!

_NO!_

To the Great Hall!

* * *

_**­In a carriage**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

AHHH!! SUPER-DUPER FUNNY!!

**I think one of my ribs just cracked!**

_Alright, I admit it! I'm glad I brought the book back!_

**I can't wait for more! I hope we can figure out their weaknesses. **

_I've no doubt we will. Who knew that McGonagall and Dumbledore bickered like that?_

I don't know, but it's funny stuff!

_Aw man, we're here. _

We can't laugh too much during the feast; otherwise we'll get chucked into detention right away for suspicion.

**We're already in detention for the first two months. **

Well we're free after that, right?

**Yeah…**

Let's not pull anything till then. I know it's hard, but I think we can do it! Remus,

_I know, I know. I need to keep you from plotting._

Good man!

* * *

Teeheehee.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! Have you been walking your mice?

Reviewers this chapter get a box of Chocolate Frogs!

Oh, dang. My break is over. Back to bussing tables at the Three Broomsticks! (Its summer now, so I work there full time)


	26. Chapter 26

_**TWENTY SIX- week later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_I'm getting anxious. Potter and Black haven't tried to do a prank, and it's been a full seven days now!_

I told you, they've changed!

_Yeah, changed clothes… and that's if we're lucky. They are more than likely up to something big, and it's going to annoy me._

Alright! Has anyone seen The Menace?

_Norris? No, haven't seen her since last night. Why?_

That idiotic beast tore up my hat!

_Poppy's mad at her too. The Menace knocked a bunch of potions off her shelf._

Maybe you all should just be nice to her. She doesn't bug me!

_That's because she's scared of the noise your staircase makes. _

You know this how?

_I have my ways._

Of course you do. …How do we know it wasn't YOU that knocked over those potions, eh?

_Because I'm not stupid enough to upset Poppy on purpose and –_

You upset her a couple years ago on purpose by leaving the hospital wing.

_That's beside the point. Two, I'm not coordinated enough to get to the shelves._

I'm sure…

_Spin it anyway you like, Poppy will still be angrier with you than me. She's still holding a grudge from last year and the year before. All those poor students sent to the Wing because their headmaster is too much of a pushover when it comes to pranksters._

Trying to play the guilt trick won't work.

_It won't now, but I know you. You'll start thinking about it later and then you'll start fretting, then you'll try to hide it because you don't want to admit to me that I was right!_

…

_That's right. You lose._

Meh.

Stop saying that, it's really annoying and I'm peeved enough as it is.

_Speaking of peeved, has anyone seen Peeves?_

_No, why?_

_Because I haven't seen him for two days and its beginning to worry me._

I saw him in the Transfiguration hall looking at one of the chandeliers.

_PEEVES!_

Teeeheeeeheeee!

_YOU sent him to do it, didn't you?_

I claim no responsibility to such an event.

_You don't CLAIM any, but that doesn't mean you don't HAVE any!!_

So?

_If something irregular happens with that chandelier, I will make you regret it._

Lovely, sweet-temepered, trusting person, no?

Don't look at me, this is your fault.

_Don't say it, Albus!_

Say what?

_You know. _

Oh, you mean don't ask why Hogwarts hates me?

_That's the one._

Then you might want to close your book.

_-sigh-_

Pomona, why does Hogwarts hate me?!

Go to sleep, Albus.

I can't. Phineas and Dippet are having an argument.

So shut them up.

I can't do that either. Last time I did Pineas complained to Mrs. Black and that slowed the healing process of my ears waaayy down. I don't really want to risk another Howler.

I see. Well, I feel very little pity for you, and will now go to sleep. Good night!

I love my staff, I love my staff, I love my staff…

* * *

_**BOY'S DORM**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

AHHHHH!!

**Dang, my Mum has some nerve, sending a howler to Dumbledore after she yelled at him for a half hour straight! I guess that's where I get my nerve from… huh.**

_I'm so glad I brought this back! This is funnier than… I don't know! A lot of things!_

We should let Professor Dumbledore know that we don't hate him!

_He's just kidding, Petey._

I don't think he is! 

Peter, if he thought Hogwarts didn't like him, he'd have left by now.

Oh yeah…

**YOU GUYS! WE HAVE TRANSFIGURATION TOMORROW!**

_Oh no…_

Oh no? Try 'Oh heck yes!'

_No! We'll be laughing the entire time and McGonagall will start questioning us…_

**Shoot… This never happened, men! When in Transfiguration we shall act completely normal!**

That would land us in a month of detention…

**Fine! Almost completely normal!**

_So not normal at all?_

**Grrrr. Quit annoying me!**

_Or what? You'll pull out your knife and sacrifice my intestines to the Squid?_

-shudder- Can we quit with that?

**YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE EATEN CALAMARI!!**

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

**No it wasn't! You had commit treason against Squiddy, and therefore had to pay the price!**

-gasp- YOU CUT OUT JAMES'S INTESTINES??

He would have if McGonagall hadn't shown up!

**Hehe. I only got a week of detention for that one.**

If I had done it to you I would have gotten off with three days.

**So?**

So McGonagall thinks that I'm not as annoying as you and therefore likes me better.

_Can we not turn this into a contest? That would turn into you guys landing yourselves in more detentions._

**Fine! But once we're out of detention, James, it's on!**

Bring it.

* * *

Sorry, nothing big yet! Wait, you must! Sorry I am!

Giving Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans to reviewers I am!

Review, you must!

REVIEW, PRONTO, or the Force will not be with you!

On a sugar high, I am!

Teehee... I do not like Green Eggs and Ham, I do not like them Sam I am!!

...Going now, I am! Review, you MUST!


	27. Chapter 27

_**TWENTY-SEVEN – weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_It's been almost two months, still no pranks!_

I TOLD you –

_NO! Pranksters like them don't change over a summer. They are up to something!_

YOU changed OVERNIGHT!

_That's a different matter that doesn't need to be discussed!_

I can't find ANYTHING to keep them in detention longer!

_That's what's making me even more nervous._

_Can't we talk to Peeves?_

_Oh yeah, he'd hand them over. _

_I don't appreciate your implying that I'm being stupid._

_I was implying that your suggestion was stupid, not you. _

_Sure you were._

_If you were stupid I'd be able to beat you at chess!_

…_Point._

_Ravenclaws._

_Don't get me started on GRYFFINDORS!!_

_AHH!! LOOK AT HOW TIGHTLY WOUND UP THOSE FOUR HAVE US!! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!_

Seconded!

Funniest thing is – 

_I see nothing funny about this situation!_

Funniest thing is that they're only third years, and they've already got the entire staff figured out. Why, it won't be long until they find the secret passage ways out of the school!

_SHHHH! They could be right over your shoulder reading!_

Oh, don't be ridicu- AH NO!

_WHAT?!_

Ah ha! Gotcha!

_Don't do that again, or I will officially declare myself on Minerva and Pomona's side of this battle brewing up._

Aw, don't do that! I was only playing around! Now quit being ridiculous! There's no way they could be seeing any of the things they shouldn't, staff related.

_Not now, perhaps. But they will. _

Such optimism.

_Being an optimistic staff member is overrated._

No! The Demon Children are in my class in 15 minutes!

_Keep a VERY close watch on them! If they pull the tiniest thing, I want to know. It'll make me feel a lot better._

* * *

_**Some Secret Passage way**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Wow. I think we've set a new record, fellows!

**Bravo!**

_I think you ought to pull something._

Who are you and what have you done with Remus?

_Look, it'll make the teachers relax a bit, then they'll stop keeping such a close eye on us, and you probably won't get that much detention time either. They'll be too relieved._

**This is so messed up.**

Yeah, but I like it! Now what are we going to do?

* * *

_**Teacher's Notebook**_

_McGonagall_

Sprout

* * *

NEWS! NEWS! I HAVE NEWS!

_It'd better be good, considering you're disrupting my class!_

Guess who just set off at least a dozen dung bombs!

_YOU'RE KIDDING!_

Nope!

_I feel so much better now!_

Well that's fantastic! I'll let you deal with them after their showers then!

_After showers… what?_

They didn't take the bombs out of their pockets.

_Well that was stupid! But yes, I'll deal with them._

Fantastic! They should be in your office by the time class is over.

* * *

_**DINNER**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Remus! You were right!

**Jeez! Only one detention from MCGONAGALL for pretty much cancelling class!**

_I told you! Now, don't pull anything else for a week, and we'll see how the staff takes it._

Hey! You guys! I rigged McGonagall's office door so that when she opens it, a dung bomb goes off!

_Please say you're kidding, Peter!_

Nope! 

NOOO!! MCGONAGALL IS LEAVING THE STAFF TABLE!

**I'll get Peeves. James, get the bomb!**

…I don't get a compliment?

_Good job, Petey. Now next time, tell us BEFORE you rig the door, ok?_

Ok.

* * *

I have updated! And my sugar high has worn off, and the Yoda talk with it.

Now, I've been speaking with my Gringotts Goblin, Maznider, and she's told me that my account is growing rapidly. Now, reviewers, I love you all so much that I'm picking up a third job (temporarily) so that I can get you all a big e-present in a few chapters! You can now reach me at Hogwarts, Three Broomsticks, or Zonko's (I work in the development department!). However, if you do try to visit me, do so discreetly.

Reviewers will recieve a Reviewers Package, which contains 2 butterbeers, 3 chocolate frogs, a small box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans (that is SO annoying to type!), and, if you have a mouse, some magical mouse food! Review now! Reviewers packages are limited and not offered in stores!


	28. Chapter 28

_**TWENTY-EIGHT- weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_Potter and Black are officially done with their string of detentions._

Is that why you're biting your nails?

_Yes, it is._

_Ew. That's so gross and bad for you!_

_I only do it when I'm really nervous!_

_Well don't do it at all!_

_I can't help it! _

Cut your nails, then!

_I did already._

Disgusting.

_So is your fertilizer._

Hey! It works!

_So does biting my nails, so lay off!_

I don't think they'd pull something huge right after getting out of detention!

_Well I do! _

**Epic event!**

_What?_

**Potter and Black in the library without Lupin.**

_Ah! I'm off to the library!_

Irma can handle them!

_She'll only worry if they hurt her books! _

_Just relax, Minerva!_

_I can't! If they pull anything, it'll be during my class or something to do with the staffroom or someone's office!_

… There's a point.

Can we all just relax? Jeez! They'll want to enjoy a few detention-free days!

_I doubt it._

Just wait it out. It'll be fine!

_Fine for you!_

Yes, I know I won't have to deal with it!

_That's right! You'll deal with the parents!_

I'm only worried about the Blacks!

_I don't know. The Lupins might come talk to you if their son doesn't improve his behavior._

Mr. Lupin is probably keeping Mr. Black and Potter on track, I doubt we have to worry about him. And even if we did, I'm on good terms with Mr. and Mrs. Lupin. I have no need to worry about them.

_Of course you don't._

Minerva…

_Hmmm?_

Don't.

_Don't what?_

You know exactly what I'm talking about! Don't you try to frame me AGAIN so that I get yelled at AGAIN!

_The Lupins won't yell at you. They'll just write to the Minister._

No they won't! I let their son come to school!

_And they know that I'D let him stay._

**I TOLD YOU THAT MINERVA HAS A PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE SCHOOL!**

_Shut up, Horace, and quit being so dramatic._

**Seeee? See how touchy she gets about it? She's a tyrant, I tell you!**

_Alright, Horace. You caught me._

**I TOLD YOU!**

_Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to ally myself with the ghosts so they can kill Dumbledore in his sleep for me._

**-gasp- Dumbledore, aren't you going to do something about this?**

I'm not terribly worried. 

**Why is that?**

Because everyone knows that witches melt when you get them wet. I can just rig a bucket of water to her door.

_Pah!_

That and I have James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter on MY side.

_Is that a threat, Dumbledore?_

Possibly.

_They won't be able to help you if they're in detention!_

Which, currently, they aren't!

_They will be soon._

I have the ability to pardon their detentions.

_You wouldn't risk it._

Why is that?

_Because you'd be pulling a few retired pranksters back into their field of expertise!_

You wouldn't risk the students finding out.

_Who says they'd find out?_

**NOW SHE'S AFTER THE STUDENTS!**

_Don't worry; I'll only eat the Slytherins._

**AHHHH!!**

…

_You still there, Horace?_

No, I don't think he is.

_I don't think he took his potions this morning._

No, he probably just took them with fire whisky again.

_-sigh- Men. They never learn!_

I take offense to that.

_Good._

* * *

_**Library**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

You know… I'm starting to think our teachers aren't mentally stable.

**Probably not… but it makes some really funny stuff to read!**

True. I think it's amusing how nervous they are.

**I can't picture McGonagall biting her nails.**

…AHH!! I just got a mental image of Slughorn trying to run away from McG.

**Teeheeeheeee!**

Ah! Dude, we have Transfiguration first tomorrow!

**Heck yes!**

If we're lucky, maybe McGonagall will eat a few Slytherins.

* * *

"What are you reading?" asked a voice behind James.

James slammed the Notebook shut and Sirius flipped over the paper they'd been writing on. "Nothing, Evans."

"Don't lie to me! What are you reading? And why does it have so many different fonts? And why are you taking notes?" asked Lily, hardly pausing for a breath.

"We're reading notes we wrote a while ago, first year. And we aren't taking notes, we're writing more," James said casually.

"Why don't you just talk instead of writing everything down?" Lily inquired.

"Why do you ask so many questions?" Sirius snapped.

"Why do you care?" Lily replied irritably.

"Why are we only speaking in questions?" James questioned.

"Why don't you guys ever take anything seriously?"

"Being serious is overrated!"

"Being Sirius is NOT overrated, it's awesome!" Sirius said defensively. "And you ruined the question thing, James."

"That I did," James responded thoughtfully.

Lily turned around and walked away. "Boys! You can't ever get a real answer out of them!"

"Such a touchy little flower," James snorted as she stormed off.

"Flower?" Sirius wrinkled his face.

"Lilies are flowers… it makes sense."

"Ok, James, whatever you say!" Sirius said. James opened the Notebook again and flipped over the paper, but Sirius was a bit worried about his buddy.

* * *

Ok, I'm so sorry for making you wait so long! Updates ARE going to slow down for a bit. Real life has caught up with me, I'm sure you know the feeling!

I might not have time to respond to reviews, so reviewers can just visit my goblin, Maznider, at Gringotts and she'll give you 30 e-galleons!

Have a nice day!


	29. Chapter 29

_**Twenty-nine- a week later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

They still haven't tried any pranks. Would you like to admit that you're wrong now, Minerva?

_Never! And you know why?_

Why?

_Because they are coming back. I just had class with them, and it seems that I'm, once again, not Professor McGonagall._

Ahhh… back to the nicknames, I see?

_Unfortunately. Now, would YOU like to admit that you were wrong?_

Calling you something other than 'Professor' isn't a prank; therefore, no, I wouldn't not like to admit that I am wrong.

_It won't be long now. _

That's what you think.

_-sigh- You and your all too trusting manner._

Trust gets you into a lot of places!

_Including trouble._

I have yet to be in trouble for trusting someone!

_Blatant lie!_

Excuse me?

_Gellert Grindelwald!_

Oh yeah…

_Mmmhmm. See? I told you. Men never learn._

Well that was just one time!

_But it cost you so much!_

I know it did!

_Well there's my point! If you're too trusting you're going to get into a similar position again! Mark my words!_

I've got a meeting with the Minister, is it alright to trust the Ministry?

_Probably not, but we'll pretend it is for the sake of the meeting._

We?

_Yeah, I'm supposed to be there for this one, remember?_

Then this argument is put on hold until after said meeting!

_Fine by me._

* * *

_**School Grounds - break**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Intense…

**Grindelwald… why does that sound familiar?**

_Because he's the most recent great Dark Wizard. Binns was talking about him last week._

Dumbledore trusted that guy?

_Apparently. Which is weird… considering he was the person to get rid of him…_

You mean like… Avada Kedavra get rid of him?

_No. I don't know what happened with him, but I think he's still alive._

**It cost Dumbledore 'so much' to trust him… What Minnie mean by saying that?**

_I don't know! Do I look like a walking Dumbledore biography?_

You're a walking encyclopedia. Sure you haven't got any more Dumbledore entries in there?

We could ask!

_He's not going to want to talk about it, Petey. It's obviously a very personal, painful thing._

Well, I say it's best to just try to forget about this last entry.

**Ok, cool. **

**HEY! LOOK! Squiddy wants to play!**

Let's go!

_Don't jump in the water! _

Pssshhh. Yeah right.

_Well I'm not going to save you from the grindylows so I hope Squiddy feels like it._

* * *

Sorry, really short, and not up to usual standard, I know. I'll try to update tomorrow, but no promises!

Again, I won't be able to respond to reviews right away, so Maznider will be waiting to reward reviewers.

Anyway, time for my Zonkos shift! Gotta go!


	30. Chapter 30

_**

* * *

**_

THIRTY -weeks later

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_Idiots 1-4 have completely returned and will be in detention for the next two weeks!_

Really! What'd they do?

_I'm not entirely sure, no one would say. All I know is that whatever they did made Miss Evans extremely upset._

Poor girl.

_Say it, Albus._

-sigh- Fine. I was wrong, and… no, I can't finish that sentence.

_Fine. Close enough._

Why would they be bugging Lily Evans?

_Search me._

**Anyone have and idea as to why Mr. Snape has blonde highlights in his hair?**

_Yes. I'll go find them!_

…**Anyone else want to give me an explanation?**

Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew are back.

…**They haven't specifically targeted Severus before!**

He was probably the first Slytherin they saw.

**Well I managed to fix it. He was still muttering when he left, though. So I think something else happened that he doesn't want to talk about.**

Odd…

_Another week onto their detentions!_

**Oh, sure. Give them one week for the Slytherin and two for the Gryffindor!**

_That's right. I must be being prejudice. _

**Exactly!**

_It couldn't be that after I sent Idiots 1-4 away that Evans was so angry she started crying, could it? It couldn't be that Snape will actually seek his own revenge, where as Evans will just try to sneak around them every opportunity she gets instead of facing them, could it?_

**Some whimpy Gryffindor she is.**

_No, she's smart. She knows that whatever she does won't have an effect. Just like we know that detentions won't have an effect, but we give them anyway to keep them away from others longer._

That reminds me. I'll take two of the four sum. They might be bonding in detention.

_Fine. Black and Pettigrew, then?_

I have to take Black?

("Told you they like me better!" James said triumphantly.)

_Fine. Potter and Pettigrew, you happy?_

How about Lupin and Pettigrew?

_No good. Black and Potter need to be separated._

Fine.

_You're free to go sulk now._

I can't. Class.

…_Then why are you writing in your book? YOU can't teach and write at the same time… it just doesn't work._

I "went to another greenhouse to get something".

_Mmmhmm. I'm sure. _

The Queen of Gossip returns!

That's right! Now, I have what I want, so I'll chat later.

She's just too weird to even attempt to understand.

_Is there a reason that a ministry official is here?_

?

_Someone from the Ministry is walking up to the gate…_

Do you have a class?

_No…_

Would you mind seeing what they want?

_Do you ever leave your office other than to get food?_

Rarely.

_Thought so. Yes, I'll go get whoever it is._

* * *

_**Library**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Shall we go to the grounds and see what's up? Yay or nay?

_Nay._

**Yay!**

Yay!

Remus, you have been overthrown and will now be dragged outside by us.

_Fantastic._

* * *

_**Out on the grounds**_

Who is that woman?

**I've never seen her before.**

Remus, why do you look so pale?

_Because I know who that is. She's here to try to get Dumbledore to expel me._

Pshhhh. Why would anyone want to take you out of here?

_She knows what I am!_

So?

_That's why she wants me gone! She's an awful person. She could watch me get my head chopped off and walk away smiling!_

**She's not going to take you away.**

_How do you know?_

She'd have to get through Minnie first!

_She's a ministry official! High ranking! She can get McGonagall fired!_

**She'd have to get through Dumbledore to do that. Dispite all their differences Dumbledore wouldn't let McGonagall go. He'd go with her.**

Trust us, Remmy. You aren't going anywhere!

_Aww no! McGonagall's taking her inside!_

K, you guys follow them, I'll run and get my cloak.

_I don't think we should…_

You can stay behind then, and we'll tell you about it later.

_Fine. I'll go!_

James sprinted up to his dorm, and he was pretty sure he knocked over five people in his rush. Lucky for him no one was around that could give him more detentions. Most of the time spent from the grounds to the dorm to Dumbledore's office was spent making the already messy dorm messier while trying to find his cloak. But once he'd found the cloak, he had run over another five people and was out of the Gryffindor Tower before his victims knew what hit them.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter were waiting just down the hall from Dumbledore's office for James.

"That was fast," Sirius commented. "We took a few shortcuts, so McGonagall and what's-her-face aren't here yet."

"Who cares?" James gasped, "Get under the cloak!"

* * *

Ah! This is just not my week for updating! First it is a really short chapter, then a cliff hanger. Honestly, I'm sorry. Next update will be better!

I'm back to full-time fanfic for a few days! So no more visiting Maznider. Perfect timing too, she was getting cranky with all the visitors. Reviewers get a free e-meal! Yay! Speaking of food... -runs off to kitchen-


	31. Chapter 31

_**Thirty-one**_

Minerva was not happy. There was no question about what the visitor wanted.

Minerva said the password to the gargoyle, making a mental note to have Dumbledore change it later, and stepped onto the rising spiral staircase. She pounded on the door and entered after being invited to.

"Dolores!" Dumbledore said and smiled. "What brings you here?"

"Hello, Dumbledore," Dolores Umbridge replied.

"Have a seat," Dumbledore invited. As Umbridge took her time sitting down, Dumbledore glanced at his deputy. He wouldn't have been surprised to see fire shoot out of Minerva's eyes and burn a hole through Umbridge's stomach.

"Well, Dumbledore," Dolores said in a businesslike tone, "I've come to discuss a certain student of yours with you."

"Has one of them gotten in trouble with the law?" Dumbledore asked as he peered over his glasses.

"No, but you might be."

"How so?"

"I've received intelligence that you have let a werewolf, a _werewolf_, into Hogwarts!"

"Yes, I have. He's one of the best students in his year."

"What year is he in?"

"Third."

"And you didn't notify the Ministry that you'd let in a werewolf?"

"He has a name, you know!" Minerva snapped in spite of herself.

"Yes, I know, dear," Umbridge said with a smile that looked more like a snarl.

"Then refer to him by it!"

Umbridge turned her attention back to Dumbledore. "We, that is to say, my department, feel that it would be safer for the school if you were to expel the wolf."

"His name is Remus Lupin! Is it really that hard to say?" Minerva nearly shouted.

"Minerva…" cautioned Dumbledore.

Minerva crossed her arms and intensified her glare, if that was possible. Over by the bookshelves, she was sure she heard a sound, a shuffle, almost. But she quickly forgot about it.

"Really, Dumbledore. Surely you know that he doesn't have control over himself? Can't you see how _dangerous_ that is?"

"The times when he is dangerous are extremely predictable, and during those times he's in a secure environment off school grounds. Any other time of the month he wouldn't hurt a fly," said Dumbledore calmly.

"I have evidence to suggest that he isn't in a safe place," Umbridge simpered and smiled.

"What evidence is that?" asked Dumbledore while quirking an eyebrow.

"The evidence is in this room. On her!" Dolores pointed to Minerva.

"Is that so?"

"Yes! She's probably got the scar to prove it."

"I have a name as well, Dolores. And yes, I do have a scar from him. But that was in his first year, we hadn't finished his safe haven yet," Minerva snarled.

"But the fact remains that you were injured by him. What if it had been a student?" Dolores's brief spell of happiness disappeared and was replaced by frustration.

"But it wasn't a student."

"Now I know you, Minerva," Dolores was cut off.

"Do you really? Tell me all about myself then, Dolores!" Minerva hissed.

"Minerva!" said Dumbledore more urgently than before.

"No, it's alright Dumbledore," Umbridge said nonchalantly. "As I was saying, I know you well enough, Minerva, to know that you wouldn't just let the wolf off with practically cutting off your leg."

"As a matter a fact, I did let Remus off. Turns out you don't know me as well as you thought, eh?"

All of a sudden, the tension that had been building up in Umbridge boiled over, "That _abomination_ should be removed from this school right now! He shouldn't attend another class or even stay another night in his dorm! He's too dangerous!"

"How _dare_ you!" Minerva shouted.

"Minerva!"

"Back off, Albus!" Minerva snapped before returning her attention to Umbridge. "There is no way that I will let Mr. Lupin leave! He's one of the brightest students I have ever taught, and what's more, kindest! If it weren't for him, I'm certain that this school would have been turned upside down! If, by some _miracle_, you manage to take him out of this school, let me assure you that this school would cease to exist, and you would no longer have a job!"

"Nonsense! Hogwarts cease to exist? Impossible!" Umbridge screamed.

"Hogwarts, minus the staff, minus half the students, equals no school!"

"You do not make up the entirety of the staff, Minerva McGonagall!"

"Yes, but I know the entirety of the staff! If I left, which I would if you took poor Remus out, Albus, Pomona, Filius, and Horace would leave. If they left, everyone else would leave too! And once the students found out about why all of their professors suddenly quit, they'd leave as well!"

"You wouldn't be able to leave!"

"Is that a threat?" Minerva drew herself to full height.

"Quite possibly."

Minerva actually laughed, but it was acidic and cold. "You think that you would be able to best me at a duel? You, the woman who barely passed owls? You, who only got to be so high ranking in the ministry because of your threatening and undermining people?"

"How dare you suggest such a thing! I got to my position because of hard work! A much higher position than any deputy or Transfiguration Professor will ever be!"

"You're drunk on power, Dolores, and one day, that power will turn against you, and you'll wish you never had it!" Minerva screamed.

"Minerva! Dolores!" Dumbledore said loudly. Once he had both of their attentions he continued, "I believe we are here to discuss _calmly_ one Mr. Remus Lupin."

"As far as I'm concerned, it's settled!" Minerva snapped.

"It is far from settled! I have a petition that I can send around to have him removed!" Umbridge waved a scroll of parchment in front of Minerva, who snatched it away.

Minerva's face got redder as she read the petition. "Wolf, abomination, monster, danger, demon?" She stomped over to the fireplace and threw the petition in. "How do you live with yourself, Dolores? How can you sleep at night after writing something like that?"

"Get that out of there!" Dolores screamed.

"Get it yourself!"

Dolores gripped the arms of her chair until her fat fingers were white. Minerva looked extremely satisfied that she had managed to upset her.

Minerva looked at Dumbledore. Hardly anyone would be able to tell that he was angry, but she could. His fingers were stick straight, though still connected at the tips. His eyes lost their usual sparkle, and she was sure that under his desk, he was tapping his foot vigorously.

Dolores took several deep breaths. "I came here on the behalf of the school –"

"Oh, please!" Minerva said under her breath.

Dolores closed her eyes for a moment and continued on, "I came here for the safety of the students, Dumbledore. I ask that you consider removing that werewolf!"

"I blatantly refuse," Dumbledore said casually.

Umbridge nodded shortly, gathered up her things in a hurry, and left, slamming the door behind herself.

The second after the door had closed Minerva punched her fist down onto a stack of papers and all redness returned to her face. "How dare she come in here and say all those awful things! How dare she claim that she's here on behalf of the students! How dare she attempt to meddle with what's going on at Hogwarts!" By this time Minerva was storming around the office.

"Minerva, sit down, please," Dumbledore said in irritable tones, quite abnormal for him.

"If I sit down I'll only get angrier!"

"Than at least stop moving so quickly! You're making me dizzy!"

Minerva paused, and then slammed herself into the chair across Dumbledore's desk and drummed her fingers on the arms.

Dumbledore put his face into his hands. "Why couldn't you simply control your temper?"

"I had been," Minerva said through gritted teeth, "but did you expect me to just lie down and take it when she started bashing one of _my_ students like that?"

"You know how she is! She's frightened of him! You should have pity for her, not anger!"

"Pity!" Minerva let out a short acidic laugh, "No. She doesn't deserve pity! She doesn't deserve anything she has!"

"What she has is very little! Her job and her residence!"

"Well whose fault is that?"

"I'd like to say everyone in both your year and hers for belittling her nonstop! She actually LISTENED to what you were all saying, and now she's off to make you all pay."

Minerva bit her tongue and nodded her head a few times thoughtfully. "Is that what you think happened? You think we bothered her for no reason? Because she was short? Because of her size? You thought wrong. She earned every bit of insult she received, and don't let anyone tell you different! And now, now she's earned herself hell."

The transfiguration mistress rose from her seat and began heading towards the door, even had her hand on the handle when Dumbledore spoke. "Earned herself hell?"

"Yes. She'll try again. And next time, no one will be letting her off easy!" Minerva swung the door open, and then slammed it with a force that made several books on the shelf nearby topple off.

* * *

Yes, you were all correct in thinking it was Umbridge. Don't worry, though! I have plans in store for her.

I meant to update yesturday, but I've become addicted to a TV show that someone unwisely gave me on DVD. Problem? Most definately!

Reviews will make be update faster and make me happy! Happy authors are more fun. I know a depressed writer... their stuff is WEIRD!! ...so basically, review. Next update I should be able to afford that big reward I promised a bit ago. YAY!

Unfortunately, Maznider is holding my Gringott's account hostage... basically, I can't get into my account to reward reviewers for this update. (Alright, who insulted Maznider, because that's why she's holding my account hostage!)


	32. Chapter 32

_**Thirty-Two- still same day in Dumbledore's office under cloak**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Um… wow.

**Do you really think that Umbit-**

Don't curse, Sirius!

**Fine! Do you really think that UmBRIDGE will come back?**

_She will._

Are you alright, Remus?

_Shocked._

Understandable.

_McGonagall shouldn't have done that._

**Are you kidding me? That was amazing! Soundless snaps for our favorite Transfiguration Professor!**

_Stop it, Sirius! McGonagall just put herself on Umbridge's top five enemy list!_

**So? What's the toad going to do? McGonagall's right. If she quits, so will Dumbledore and Sprout and Flitwick… not sure about Slughorn, but if Dumbledore goes, he probably will. If those five are gone, so is everyone else. Students wouldn't come back if the ministry took over, especially if it was their fault that the staff left.**

_I have to thank her._

She'll know we were here!

_I'll say that it was just me!_

She'll ask about how you heard.

_I'll say that I was outside the door and left when Umbridge started walking across the room and shave a few days off my detention by saying it wasn't hard to hear. Just go back to the dorms, alright?_

**Sure you don't want us to come too?**

_Yeah. I'm sure._

Ok, we'll see you later then. Good luck!

_Thanks._

* * *

Remus could hear Professor McGonagall stomping around her office as he paced tight circles close by outside, thinking of what to say.

Finally, he tapped on the door with his knuckles and waited nervously.

Professor McGonagall flung the door open and her expression immediately changed from absolutely furious to as usual as she could get it. "Please don't tell me this is about Potter or Black doing something."

"No, Professor!" Remus responded quickly. "I just wanted to… ask you a question about my essay."

McGonagall sighed and let Remus in, then sat down at her desk. Remus saw a stray paper by the bookshelves and had to wonder if McGonagall had made a hasty clean-up of her office before she opened the door.

"Well," the Professor said sharply, "Where's the essay and what question do you have?"

"I actually don't have a question," Remus said slowly and looked down at his shoes as he said quietly, "Thank you."

"For the billionth time, I can't hear you when your face is in your robes!"

Remus took a deep breath and looked his Professor in the eye. "Thank you."

"…You're welcome. What are you thanking me for?"

"I… I heard the meeting in Dumbledore's office."

Professor McGonagall stiffened. "You did?"

"Yes, Professor. I saw Ms. Umbridge- "

"Please don't refer to her with a title."

The corners of Remus's mouth twitched a bit. "I saw Umbridge at the gate. James, Sirius, Peter and I were out on the grounds, and I knew who she was. My curiosity got the best of me."

McGonagall's eyes widened. "Your friends weren't with you, were they?"

"No, Professor!" lied Remus.

The Professor sighed and looked more relaxed.

"I just wanted to say thank you for standing up for me like that." Remus said smally.

"You expected something different?" Professor McGonagall snorted. "I wouldn't put up as much of a fight if you had done something wrong, but like I've said to you before, you can't control your issue." Remus smiled in gratitude and his Professor continued, "Dolores Umbridge and I have known each other since school days. She was a year below me, and she was a pain even then. Seemed to think she was Queen of the World and that everyone should worship the ground she walked on, and she showed it."

"And she's still alive?" Remus asked seriously.

"She's only alive because she made a powerful ally that no one wanted to mess with. But when said ally wasn't around, man, did we get her." McGonagall's words were chalk full of venom and it scared Remus a bit.

"Who was her ally?"

"A boy by the name of Tom Riddle. Her fellow Slytherin, same year. He made quite a reputation for himself. Staff loved him, many students adored him, but if you managed not to fall for his tricks, you could see how ugly of a person he really was."

"Didn't he get special services to the school?"

"Yes. For framing someone for something."

"How do you know he framed the person?"

"If you knew both Riddle and the framed person, you'd be able to tell me instantly who was telling the truth."

"I see. Can you tell me about the person he framed and for what?" Remus couldn't help but find this interesting.

"No, I can't." Remus looked extremely disappointed. "Now, back to why you came here in the first place."

Remus sighed. "How long?"

"A week, as long as you promise to prank Umbridge next time she comes, and as long as you're sure to have Potter, Black, and Pettigrew help you."

Remus promised he would and left the office laughing, and only ten minutes past before the third year boys' dorm was ringing with laughter and had plots bouncing off the walls left, right, front, back, and center.

* * *

-evil giggle- Now I can't wait to put up some chapters I have written which Umbridge is in. FUN stuff.

Updates are going to slow down even more for a bit! Sorry! In a few weeks everything should return to normal. I whacked Real Life over the head so many times that it figured out how to grab the baseball bat from me, and it is currently holding it over my head, threatening me. I can't knock it out anymore to allow time for updates. The time has to present itself.

Ok, Maznider gave my account back to me, but she took half my money and left, so I'm hunting her down right now. You know what this means? I can't give reviewers that reward I was talking about until I find her! I'm SO sorry! (This is why you don't mess with the goblins, yellow!!) I'll probably be too busy chasing Maznider to reply to reviews. Sorry, you'll have to live on less of your freindly writer for a bit. sigh I'll miss you all... A GOBLIN SHOE!! runs off screaming


	33. Chapter 33

_**Thirty-three- weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_Has anyone else noticed something odd lately about Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew?_

Like how tired they seem?

_Exactly!_

_Pettigrew fell asleep on his essay and got ink all over his face and his friends only had the energy to chuckle._

It's getting close to the end of the year; homework is probably keeping them up.

_No, we don't start piling it on until the week before exams._

I don't know what could be keeping them up.

_I'll check their dorms to make sure they're in there in a few hours._

…Were they even at dinner?

…

_No… _

Don't tell Poppy, she might Crucio them for not eating.

_They weren't at dinner yesterday either…_

Make that Avada Kedavra.

_Pomona, take this seriously!_

I am taking this seriously! In fifth year I missed a day of meals and Poppy wouldn't let me forget it for weeks.

**Some crystallized pineapple would pep them right up!  
**

_What, you want to sacrifice some of your precious pineapple to students?_

**NO! I'm saying they should go get some.**

_Thank you for being so useless._

**Hey!**

Maybe they're up late trying to work ahead in classes?

_No, their marks are average._

Well I don't know then. Is it after hours yet?

_Yes, why?_

Because there are some kids outside…

_I'll get it._

Good, because no one else wants to.

_Thanks for letting me know I had options._

* * *

_**Grounds**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

**Well, men. What now?**

Bedtime?

Wishful thinking. We can't go back in until at least two when the teachers stop patrolling.

What time is it now?

Eleven.

_Come on, we should get to work. I made notes over the last chapter._

Which book?

"_Beginners Guide to Becoming an Animagus"_

**How'd you even get those books without arising Pince's suspicion?**

_I told her it was for my essay._

Hey, whose turn is it to wake up Peter?

**MINE!**

Well wake him up!

_**-Here, Sirius takes off his shoe and puts it over Peter's nose-**_

Sirius!

**Had to wake you up.**

Like that?

**Yup.**

Hey look! A kitty cat!

_Someone else's. Leave it alone, Peter._

-pout- I just want to pet it!

_You're ALERGIC to cats!_

Ladies, can we get back to the task at hand?

What's that again?

_Maybe we should just go to sleep; I don't think Petey can concentrate._

No! Then we'll be a night behind!

**Never give up, NEVER SURRENDER!**

That cat is watching us.

_A cat doesn't watch people, Peter! It probably just sees a mouse around here or something._

No, seriously! Look at it!

_PETER! Stop it with the cat! It is an unintelligent ball of fur! Now focus!_

Fine.

Hey, the cat is gone.

_PETER!!_

**Pete, it doesn't matter, can we focus, please?**

What's up with Evans being out here?

_I don't think we're going to get anywhere tonight!_

Snape? He's out here too?

Focus, James!

You're one to talk.

_I think we should go to bed._

**Fine. YOU WIN, BRAIN! Stupid thing. Why do we even have them?**

_-sigh-_

* * *

Remus got up from his spot on the grass and was dusting off the book when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He froze, turned around, and dropped the book, hoping it would land face-down.

"I told you that cat was watching us!" Peter whimpered.

"What are you boys doing out here this late?" Professor McGonagall asked.

Remus smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. Had he seriously forgotten that soon, while studying animagi, that McGonagall was one?

"Uhh… uhhh…" Sirius stuttered.

"Really?" McGonagall said interestedly, "Tell me more."

"We just… wanted some fresh air," Remus said. Then he almost kicked himself. What a lame excuse.

Professor McGonagall bent down and picked the book up off the ground, but suddenly it was out of her hands and in Remus's. She put her hands on her hips. "Let me see that book, Lupin!"

Remus shook his head and continued to when McGonagall held her hand out, but when she reached for it, he threw it to James.

"Go, James, GO!" Sirius shouted. James didn't need to be told twice, and within seconds he had already pranced halfway back to the school.

Remus's stomach dropped when he looked back at his Professor. She wasn't happy in the least, and it showed.

"I don't know _what_ you four are doing, but if it continues to show, you and your dorms will be searched. We can talk about this more in detention. To your dorms, now! And get to sleep!" McGonagall snapped.

Remus and company scurried off.

* * *

Professor McGonagall was astonished. Four troublesome third year boys sneaking around to read? Ridiculous. Something else had to be going on.

McGonagall looked up. How many students were out? "Evans!"

Lily Evans turned around, then turned red.

"What are you doing out of your dormitory?"

"I – I…" Lily seemed to be looking around for someone. She finally looked behind her, then stomped her foot. Her voice was suddenly not nervous, but angry, "I was _supposed_ to meet someone to talk to them, but it seems that they've ditched me."

The Professor sighed in disappointment. "Next time, Miss Evans, meet said person during break. Then you won't get a detention and lose ten points from Gryffindor."

Lily nodded and looked down for a brief second. "I won't do it again, Professor."

"Glad to hear it. Now, come on. To your dorm."

"When will I serve the detention?"

"Tomorrow after dinner, just come down to my office."

"Potter and Black won't be in detention with me, will they?" Lily's eyes grew wide.

McGonagall raised her eyebrows, but answered none the less, "Black and Lupin will be in detention with you. Potter and Pettigrew are serving with someone else."

Lily looked extremely relieved. "Thank you, Professor. Good night!" and she left to go to her dorm.

Professor McGonagall pursed her lips in agitation at the thought of having to keep her students from fighting during detention. What a pleasant day tomorrow would be.

* * *

Sorry, my search for Maznider has been CRAZY! I've gotten so close so many times! (sorry, yellow, your tracker didn't work!) I'm still searching the globe, so updates will still come slowly. Really sorry! Blame Maznider!

I know that a lot of you are wanting to see whats happening with Umbridge, and sorry to say that you'll have to wait until 4th year, which I think is coming up soon!

I have to resume my search! I will return eventually!! (I won't be able to respond to reviews again, sorry!)


	34. Chapter 34

_**Thirty-Four – weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_Well that was an interesting experience._

_What was?_

_Having Potter, Black, and Snape in detention at the same time. It's not something I would recommend trying._

_What's with them and Snape lately?_

_I don't know._

Hey! Look! An owl carrying a possible lawsuit!

_Why do you say that?_

The letter the own is carrying has a pink-ish tinge and a pink ribbon tied around it.

_Burn it._

I can't!

_Then I will._

If I don't respond to something Dolores sends, then I might as well pack my bags now.

What's the toad want?

_Lupin out._

Ridiculous. Does she even know what he looks like?

_Nope. Only knows one thing about him._

Anyway, Minerva lost her temper with Umbridge, and we now may have to pay for it. Oh! Just kidding. The letter is just asking me to reconsider.

_Throw it in the fire!_

Gross… I think this paper is scented…

...You're smelling it?

It's hard not to. I could smell it if it was on the other side of the office.

_Idiotic woman. Spends too much time on unimportant things. Maybe she should put more time in to finding the werewolves that are actually dangerous. Greyback would be a great place to start._

No, getting him would benefit too many people.

Can we grow up a bit, please?

_You're one to suggest that._

I have my moments, but normally – 

_You act like you're around 5 of the age you really are._

Do not!

_There's the five year old we all know!_

Well this five year old mind has to go to a meeting with the Minister.

_What?_

… a meeting with the Minister…

_Dumbledore!!_

WHAT?!

_The Lupins are coming here in half an hour!_

Oh no…

_You forgot about it!_

Yeah… yeah I did…

_Why won't you just get a planner? It would solve SO many problems!_

It'd cause more. I'd lose it all the time.

_That's why you keep your office ORGANIZED!_

Organization is over rated!

_You'd better find a way out of that meeting with the Minister._

I can't!

_What's the meeting even about?_

I'm not sure! All I know is that if I'm not there, I'm going to have to pay in more than galleons!

_Fine! I'll take the meeting with the Lupins, but you'd better hurry that meeting up or see if you can reschedule!_

Fairly certain neither of those will work. The heads of quite a few departments are also going to be there. Why not reschedule with the Lupins?

_It's a little late for that!_

Speaking of the Lupins, they're here.

No! That means I'm late! I'll be back… eventually!

Minerva, breathe in, breathe out.

_I don't have time, because now I have to take care of a parent meeting!_

* * *

_**Boys' Dorm**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

Why are your parents having supposed to be having a meeting with Dumbledore?

_They want to talk to him about what happened with Umbridge._

**How'd they know about it?**

_Umbridge visited them after the school, and after that they owled me and asked me what I knew about it._

You had to tell them about all of it?

_No, I just told them that I saw Umbridge here. So now they're here._

**Dude, they're having the meeting with McGonagall. You're screwed! She's going to let it slip that you eavesdropped.**

_Shoot…_

What do you think your parents will do?

_Well… I don't know, actually._

Oh, come on!

_I honestly don't know._

**Well we'll take part of the blame.**

_I already have McGonagall thinking that it was just me. It's fine._

Oh, come on. We can say that we dared you or something.

_No one would fall for that one. Just forget it._

Alright, alright. So…. What should we do?

_How about that essay for Potions that's due tomorrow that we should have done three days ago?_

Naw.

Come on, Pete! He's sacrificing some of his summer for us! To the library!

**Forward, MARCH!**

* * *

GUESS WHAT!! I FOUND MAZNIDER! She was slightly dead... but I did find all the stuff from my account. Therefore, I will be able to give out that review reward I promised long ago!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a funeral service to attend for poor Maznider and then I have to find a new goblin for my account.


	35. Chapter 35

_**Thirty-five- Last day!**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Come on, open the Notebook! One last time before we get off the train!

_That's not fair! I already put it in my trunk!_

**Well get it out!**

_I've got everything organized! My books are at the bottom!_

Why do you always have everything organized?

_Because then I always know where everything is and I don't have to spend my last day at school going around trying to find everything!_

_Sirius… stop! Put my trunk back!_

**No can do, Remmy! **

**Gather 'round, men! We need to dissect Remus's trunk!**

_IN AN ORDERLY FASHION!_

Yeah, yeah.

* * *

_**Teachers' Notebook**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_No students for three months!_

The castle is going to be so empty! Why are you happy?

_Because it'll be quite and I don't have to deal with detentions and night time patrols._

We can sleep in.

We can do that during the year, too!

_Who's 'we'?_

Oh… true…

_That's interesting…_

What is?

_Umbridge just tried to open the gate…_

_NO!! Why is she here?_

_She isn't. She tried to open the gate… then it turned purple… and she jumped, then disapparated…_

_That IS interesting…_

Minerva…

_I didn't do anything! _

I think you did…

_I KNOW I didn't._

Ok, if you didn't who did?

_I don't know._

Filius, can you identify the charm?

_Looked like a basic shock charm that was modified slightly. I just looked at it. _

_Why do you say it was modified?_

_Because I touched the gate and nothing happened._

From outside?

_Did that too._

_So it was modified to only work on her? That's funny! We should invite her back…_

You DID have something to do with this!

_Why do you keep jumping down my throat? If I were to do something like that, Umbridge would be unconscious and still lying outside the gates!_

No, you didn't do the charm directly…

("Dumbledore figured it out. I TOLD you we should have just gotten stuff set up and then just activated it when she came!" Remus snapped.

"Yeah, but then we wouldn't be able to get her when she came over the summer, now would we?" James said back.)

_What are you implying, Albus?_

You had someone else do it for you.

_Do you honestly think I'd sink that low?_

Yes.

_Nice to know you think so much of me._

You set Lupin up to do something to get back at Umbridge and he had his buddies help him and now the castle is a death-trap for Dolores. How very Slytherin.

_How very wrong. _

How very correct! Now Dolores will become paranoid and she'll bring back up with her next time she comes!

_Pah. What'll back up do for her?? If she'd bring them to pave the way for her and make sure nothing will pop out and poke her, they'd be too stupid to notice anything._

AH! See? You know that there are more traps!

_No, I don't. I'm just assuming. If you think there are more traps, go find them._

I don't think I will! You gave the orders to have them set up, YOU go find them.

_I think we both know that you would lose this argument. So get your butt out of your chair and search._

They won't show unless she's around!

_AH! YOU set them up! _

What?

_You seem to know all about the traps, therefore, you must have set them up!_

Why would I set them up?

_You dislike the toad just as much as I do, you just don't show it. You bottle it up, and you poured the frustration out in the form of traps for her!_

("Dang, McGonagall's good," Sirius commented.)

That makes sense…

_See?_

Ridiculous! 

_First step; denial._

But YOU denied it too, so you're in the same spot I'm in.

_Second step; try to push it off on someone else._

That's what you're doing now!

_Third step; frustration._

Fourth step; destroy your deputy.

_Now you wouldn't do that._

I might. You never know. 

_You wouldn't dare. _

And why wouldn't I?

_Because then Pomona, Rolanda, and Poppy would destroy YOU._

True…

Grrr.

_You lose, again._

Minerva: 5,553

Dumbledore: 2

You've been keeping score?

All year!

That's ridiculous. I can't be that far behind!

_Yes you can. It's always been rather unbalanced._

How long have you been keeping score?

Since the second year Minerva came.

I want to see the records!

Fine, but you'll have to get them from the library.

Irma won't let me have them!

Pity.

**Why is Peeves floating around and taking notes on things?**

("NO! Peeves! You were supposed to keep that on the down low!" James whined.)

He's what?

**Floating through walls and taking notes!**

_On what?_

**I don't know. You think he'd let me look at them? I got ink all over my new jacket just for asking!**

Why would Peeves be taking notes?

**That's what I'm asking you!**

_Maybe he's just… I don't know._

_I think this is something we should be nervous about… he obviously wants to remember something…_

_Speaking of Peeves, he's just floated through my door. I'll be back eventually._

Uck. Dumbledore, you have some visitors. One of them looks like a toad.

-sigh- Mind letting them in?

Yes, I do mind, because the Venemous Tentacula has decided that some other plants are trying to take its space, so I have to go break up a war.

Fine. I'll just get up and go all the way down the 7 staircases and through the 27 corridors and let them in!

There's a good idea. Have fun, don't get lost, and don't let Umbridge run into any of the traps you set out for her.

I didn't set those up!

Whatever you say, Dumbledore.

* * *

_**Back on the train**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Who would have ever thought that dear Minnie would get us off like that?

**I don't know, but it's AWESOME! Dumbledore had it figured out and everything and she just spun it around!**

_Well she was getting herself out of trouble, too._

Remus, you just totally killed the moment.

**Butchered it.**

_Alright, fine. McGonagall was just getting US out of trouble. Enjoy your moment!_

**I think it's awesome that Sprout played along.**

Yeah, she totally bought it! She'll probably keep a close eye on Dumbledore when he's around!

_No, she knows McGonagall too well. She was just going along with it. She knew McGonagall had something to do with the set up._

Makes it all the better!

**-gasp- You know what this means?**

They really do like us!

**James, you took my line!**

Whoops! Sorry. What does it mean, Sirius?

**It means that they really do like us!**

_Or that they really dislike Umbridge._

Quit ruining moments, Remus!!

**That's it! When we get back in September, your guts are going to the squid!**

_Dare to dream, Sirius._

**Idiotic werewolf.**

_Sirius, you never cease to amaze me._

What never ceases to amaze me is how fast this train ride goes. Look! The trolley is already here!

**LUNCH!**

* * *

So ends third year! I've got some pretty funny stuff coming up in fourth year, but its got some kind of darker stuff in it too. Just keep reading though, I'll try to get through the darkness fast!

Review! It shall make me HAPPY! And now that I have my account back, I can give out e-galleons! YAY!!

What are you doing? You sti8ll havent reviewed! REVIEW NOW!! ...-skips off innocently-


	36. FOURTH YEAR

_**FOURTH YEAR- Thirty-six- on the train**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Remus! The book?

_Why do you always ask when you know it's at the bottom of my trunk?!_

**Looks like Remmy needs to reorganize his trunk so his books AREN'T at the bottom, because every time he does that, Sirius goes through the trunk and un-organizes everything himself!**

…_Did you just speak in third person?_

**That I did!**

Come on! We should get the Notebook before we miss the conversation!

**I'm on it!**

_NO! SIRIUS! PUT THE TRUNK DOWN, I'LL GET IT!_

**I'm sorry, but you're already too late. My patience for the book ran out ten minutes after I woke up this morning. Catch!**

Sirius, would you mind NOT throwing shoes at me?

**I gave you fair warning.**

Whatever.

**Found it!**

…Why won't it open? HOGWARTS 1944!

**NOOOO!! MCGONAGALL MUST HAVE CHANGED THE PASSWORD!**

_Try '37._

Whew! I thought we'd have to figure out the password again!

**Ah! Here they come!**

* * *

_**Teachers' Notebook**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_Gross. Classes tomorrow._

Maybe you should try to have an optimistic outlook on it! Might improve the situation.

_Maybe you should leave me in peace._

Where's the fun in that?

I find it sad what amuses you, Dumbledore.

Well there's the pot calling the kettle black.

_Oh, this is just disturbing…_

How is me saying that Pomona is being hypocritical disturbing?

_No, not that. I wasn't even paying attention. Has anyone read the Prophet today?_

No, I was working on class plans.

I was reading Transfiguration Today. Why?

_Happy little family of four, little boy and girl. Boy's eight, the girl is five. Parents COMPLETELY disappeared, no sign of them, but the Ministry suspects foul play, and rightly so. The little boy and girl were bitten by a werewolf!_

No one saw anything?

_Nope. Well, both children said they saw their door get blown apart, but then they were stunned before they saw a face._

…They didn't even have a CHANCE to try and get away? DISPICABLE!

_I don't understand how someone could be so cruel. Honestly, innocent children! _

Where was this?

_The paper doesn't say anything other than Britain. I can ask Alastor, though._

Well this isn't good news for us, either.

_I doubt it's good news for anyone!_

Do you know who is going to take this event and use it as an advantage?

_Who would be messed up enough to do that?!_

Dolores Umbridge.

_NO! No, no, no, no, NO! She's going to spin it! She's coming back! Ugh! I can just hear her little twittering, "Considering recent events, I'd like to pressure you even more to expel that little wolf that you're sheltering. It's just far too dangerous! For all we know, he was the one that bit those poor children over the summer!" Now she's going to try to bring the Minister into this! Can we just… like… hire someone to silence her?_

MINERVA!

_Don't pull your beard out, you know I wouldn't. _

I would, but –

Pomona…

for the sake of the school and its reputation and the fact that my brother wouldn't ever let me forget it, I won't.

Anyway, yes, this is going to cause problems. I don't know how we're going to fend her off.

_I'm still not letting her take Lupin out!_

You may not have a choice!

_That's where you're wrong. If she took him out just because she's too prejudice and everything has to be her way, I'd go, so would several other of our coworkers –_

You know this how?

_I asked around last year. Anyway, and if Lupin left, Potter, Black and Pettigrew would leave, and they would let everyone else know that they left because Lupin was taken out unfairly, several other students would leave on the principle too. That'd just have a domino effect until half the student body transferred to Durmstrang or Beaxbatons, or were homeschooling. So Umbridge still won't dare._

I bet she will. She never knew when to lay off, and I doubt that's changed.

Hey, does anyone know where Greyback was the night that family was attacked?

_No one ever knows where he is!_

Well maybe he visited the family.

_You think Umbridge will even bother investigating him?_

Probably not, but it's worth a shot.

_Now you'll have an 'I told you so' from Minerva hanging over your head when you suggest Greyback._

I would say I don't care… but that'd be a lie.

**I have some absolutely horrible news!**

_Do we really want to hear it?_

**Probably not, but it'd be wise to know it.**

What is it, Horace?

**I've just gotten the Evening Prophet, and do you know what it said?**

_Get on with it!_

**Dolores Umbridge just got a promotion!**

Now, I'm just guessing wildly here. Pomona, you're screaming into a pillow, Minerva, you're letting out some very… choice words, and Filius… well, I don't think you'd be doing anything too destructive.

_Just sitting here taking deep breaths and trying to convince myself I'm having a nightmare._

**Umm… I think I've done my fair bit of destruction here. I'm just going to… You know what? MORE NEWS!**

_Don't want to hear it!_

**The students are almost here! Look, the carriages are leaving to pick them up!**

Well this is shaping up to be a fine year already! Half the staff will have commit suicide by the end of the year, and the other half will be completely insane!

* * *

_**In a carriage**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

… **Well, I agree with Sprout. This year is going to blow if this kinda stuff keeps up.**

_Why? WHY did Umbridge have to get a promotion? WHHHHYYYY??_

Relax a bit! You read what McGonagall wrote! You aren't going anywhere!

_You know, it probably WAS Greyback that attacked those kids. _

What about the parents?

_I don't know. He doesn't bother with adults. Too heartless; he only preys on the defenseless._

So that means he has an accomplice now…

_Which means that wherever he is during full moon, some family is doomed. _

**Sounds like society is doomed. **

Especially with Umbridge being promoted.

_No, society isn't doomed. Just 'filthy half breeds'. _

She probably is a half breed. Half human, half toad. There's no other explanation for how toad-like she looks.

I say we let her know how we feel next time she visits!

**Come on boys, it's plotting time! We need to make our professors proud!**

_I don't think I should help with the pranks._

Why? Think that Umbridge will say that you're going to kill everyone by pranking her?

_Probably._

Well, we'll have to 'silence her', just not in the way Minnie meant.

Hey! Does Umbridge wear heels?

_Probably._

We should totally make them shrink, while still on her feet!

Brilliant, Pete!

**We're here! Moving out, men!**

Salute McGonagall as you go past her. Just see how much that confuses her.

_She'll figure it out once Umbridge comes._

That's the idea. -grin-

* * *

Sorry about the seriousness! It gets better!

I've got Umbridge coming in a few chapters, don't worry! Fun stuff!

Sorry I didn't respond to the reviews! I somehow blocked fanfiction from emailing me, so I wasnt notified of new reviews and such! I fixed it now though, so I will be responding again! YAY!!

Save a writer, review; she'll give you e-galleons.


	37. Chapter 37

_**Thirty- seven – week later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_3 Aurors have disappeared on a mission! What the heck is happening?_

Where'd you hear this from? The Prophet didn't say anything about it!

_It won't hit the papers until tomorrow. Alastor owled me. _

What was the mission?

_Well, Umbridge didn't feel like investigating Greyback, but the Aurors did._

_So the Aurors went out to find him, and they haven't come back?_

_And they missed last check in. They were supposed to owl the Ministry this morning if they hadn't made any progress._

Well that doesn't mean anything's happened to them. Maybe they just can't get to an owl.

_That would be possible – _

Ah ha! Add a tally under my name, Pomona!

_Except that one of the Aurors was married and her ring was sent back to the ministry, and from what Alastor wrote, it wasn't in good condition, and it had some weird marking on it... _

…That's problematic.

_Really?_

No need to get snappy.

**Mr. Malfoy commented on that in class this morning.**

_The Aurors disappearing?_

**Yes.**

_How'd he know about it? His family doesn't have any connections to the Ministry!_

**I don't know how he knows.**

That's something to worry about…

_What was his manner when he was talking about it?_

**I don't know; I only heard him say the comment.**

_What'd he say then?_

**Ohhhh… Something about, "Father knew that would happen."**

…Does anyone else find this eerie?

_Extremely. Alastor said the mission had been top secret! No one was supposed to know about it. None of the Malfoys work in the Auror department! _

What about the Blacks or Princes?

_I think Eileen is the only working age Prince, and she's in the Muggle world. And none of the Blacks do. They're too much like the Malfoys! Work is 'above their class'._

Not for Andromeda.

_Well that's a different matter. She's one of the few smart Blacks. _

("HEY! What about me?" Sirius pouted.)

_That's going to bug me now! How did Malfoy hear about the Aurors?_

_Haven't we been attempting to figure that out for the past half hour now?_

However he knows, it can't possibly be legal; after all, only the Aurors were supposed to know about it.

**When did you get the letter, Minerva?**

_If you're suggesting that Malfoy broke into my office and took it, I'd suggest he's far too stupid. And – _

**Hey! He's actually rather smart! Quit picking on my House!**

_Alright, well is he smart enough to break into my office and steal the letter while I'm still in here?_

("We should try pulling something off like that!" James giggled at the possibility.)

**Quite possibly.**

_You think he'd live to tell the tale? I tell you now, if a student ever steals something valuable of mine, they will sincerely regret it until the day they die!_

("I think now would be a good time to swear that McGonagall never finds out we took her Notebook," James said as if he wasn't concerned. Sirius, Remus, and Peter nodded quickly.)

Don't you think that's a bit harsh?

_Nope. I'm not you. If a student steals something of mine, I'm not just going to laugh it off and wait patiently for them to get bored of trying to figure out how it works._

I told you that you wouldn't be able to figure out how to work 'the little silver trinkets'. 

_Which is exactly why we tried._

**Oh, goodness! Time for dinner!**

_Your Crystallized Pineapple didn't fill you up enough?_

**I need some real food!**

_-gasp- Did you just say that your pineapple wasn't REAL?!_

**Well… no, no I didn't.**

_What'd you mean then?_

**I didn't mean that it wasn't real food!**

_You lose this argument. And now its time to go eat!_

Oh! Heads up, Dolores is coming in next week!

_Feed her to the squid!_

* * *

_**Boys' Dorm**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

That's our cue, boys! What are we going to do?

**OOOO!! OOO!! PICK ME!**

Sirius?

**Ok, now remember how a while ago I made the suggestion to 'pretend' to cut out Remus's intestines and then 'pretend' to feed them to the squid?**

_We aren't doing that Sirius, and I didn't even do anything this time, so lay off!_

**No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This is a real idea! Look, what Umbridge wants more than anything is you gone, right?**

_Thanks for reminding me._

**So we seriously pretend to cut out your guts and feed them to the squid – **

_That's impossible without actually doing it._

Ah! Anything is possible with the Marauders, Remus! Or have you learned nothing?

**Remember how we learned how to duplicate stuff in Charms last year?**

_That won't work on a human!_

**It works on animals; the duplicate just isn't really alive. You know, like… a wax figure in a Muggle museum!**

Soo… how do we make the whole gut thing work out?

**Ok, so I got really mad at my parents this past summer so I went out into the Muggle world to make them just as angry, and I went into this prank shop – **

_Shocker._

**And they sell like… rubber guts and this stuff that looks like blood. We could totally make this work!**

_And this is a prank on Umbridge… how?_

**Because once she's leaping for joy, we come out of the forest and are all like, "Umby! 'Sup?" and we then throw our heads back and laugh as she runs away crying, and bow as our teachers applaud. **

_What if one of the teachers sees us set it up?_

**We can warn Minnie in advance; she's on our side! **

_So how do we get to the Muggle store?_

We have Peeves hurry his scouting up.

_Oh, no! We don't even know if that'll work!_

If it doesn't we sneak into Minnie's office, use the floo, and then frame Snape or Malfoy for it! All worked out! Now let's go eat!

* * *

I think you all know who makes another guest apperance in the next chapter!

Reviewers will get e-galleons! YAY! Push the button and type! (P.S. I alreadyknow that you are excited about Umbridge!!)


	38. Chapter 38

_**Thirty-eight – A week later, day of Umbridge's visit**_

For the third time now, Minerva McGonagall made the dreaded visit from her office to the front gates of Hogwarts to let in Dolores Umbridge, the devil reincarnated.

Minerva opened the gates and snapped a greeting to the woman she absolutely despised. On the way back into the school, she was relieved to see her four most troublesome students out by the lake playing with the Giant Squid. Normally, she'd stop them, but she didn't have the time and she didn't want to draw any more attention than necessary to Lupin. At least them being over there meant that they would be too busy to come after Umbridge, which she secretly wanted them to do but knew that it would cause too many problems.

The walk up to the Head office wasn't anymore pleasant than the walk to the gates, if anything, it was worse. Much worse. Umbridge chatted away about what she did now that she was promoted, and with every passing second, Minerva's urge to punch the fat little toad grew.

She got to Dumbledore's office just in time. She opened the door, made a point of walking in first (she had to annoy Umbridge in a not-so-obvious way that everyone really could see through but wouldn't say anything about), let the toad in, and slammed the door behind her. Umbridge took her seat without being invited and started her most recent speech on how dangerous Lupin must be. Again, with every passing second, Minerva felt like a kettle that had been set to boil, and she knew that, again, she would eventually blow up and start screaming at Dolores again.

The moment that Minerva had been anticipating arrived. "Now, especially with recent events, as I'm sure you read about over the summer, we feel that now, more than ever, is the time to expel that wolf and let us take care of him."

That was it. Minerva had reached her boiling point, and spilled over. "I KNEW you would bring that up! Knew it! You know what I also know? I know that you know that it wasn't Lupin that did that! He lives on the other side of the country! Not even a transformed werewolf can run fast enough to get over that long of a stretch of land in one night! I know that you know as much as I do that Greyback had something to do with it! You seem to be the only person denying it! The aurors even started an investigation on it!"

Umbridge opened her mouth to make a rebuttal, but was cut off by another thought from Minerva, "Why do you even bother coming here when you know that we aren't going to change our minds, and you know that you won't be able to force us?"

The next fifteen minutes were not pleasant in the least. To save more unpleasantness for more people, Minerva decided to walk Umbridge back down to the gates. All through the halls they were hissing at each other, but had to stop once on the grounds because she didn't know if Potter and company were still outside. Unfortunately, they were nowhere in sight, and Umbridge continued her rant.

Suddenly, something flew out of the lake, and landed face-up on the ground in front of Minerva, and she immediately felt cold. There in front of her was a wet, lifeless, bloody Lupin.

_**

* * *

**_

And now, dear readers, pick up your time turner and flip it back with me, so we can watch this from a different point of view!

* * *

"You guys! You guys! Here she comes!" Peter said excitedly from his position.

"Prongs, come in Prongs!" Sirius said.

"Not with _those_ names again!" Remus moaned.

"Shut up, Moony! Prongs, you there?"

"Roger that, Padfoot. I hear you loud and clear. _Clear_ly understandable considering I'm ten feet away." James said sarcastically.

"Wormtail, status!" Sirius barked.

"Enemy is being led through the grounds," Peter responded before suddenly laying down and rolling closer to the doors of the school and propping himself up slightly on his elbows, barely visible among the horribly looked after lawn.

"Sirius, could you possibly be any more ridiculous?" Remus complained.

"Oh yes my friend, I can be!" responded Sirius proudly.

"Status update!" Peter shouted.

"Speak it, man!"

"Enemy is now inside the building!"

"All systems go!" Sirius bellowed.

James began coaxing the Giant Squid to the surface of the lake. Peter rolled back over to his friends and began pulling things out of his too large pockets.

Remus already had his wand out and was working to duplicate himself, and Sirius waited nearby with a bottle of red liquid.

"Prongs, status!"

"Giant squid, prepared!" James said and then went back to his 'conversation' with Squiddy.

"Wormtail, engage stage three."

"Right… what's stage three again?" Peter asked nervously.

Sirius looked up towards the sky in slight aggravation at the small snag in his seemingly flawless plan. "Just get back into position and tell us when they're coming back out."

Peter belly-flopped and rolled away.

"Padfoot! Status!" James suddenly shouted.

"Dummy is ready to go!" Sirius shouted back.

"Well bring Remus jr. over here!"

"James, don't do that. You know I hate it!" Remus complained.

"Alright, alright! Sorry, Moony, I'll try not to do it again!"

"Moony, help me drag yourself over to the lake," demanded Sirius as he grabbed the arms of the dummy. Remus grabbed the legs and together, he and his friend brought their new 'friend' over to the squid.

"Status update! Status update! Status update!" Peter came running towards them, waving his arms wildly, "Enemy and Professor have left the building and are 25 of the way to the gates!"

James let out some colorful language and started talking to the squid again, but this time to give it directions. Sirius and Remus threw the dummy into the water, and seconds later one of the squid's tentacles grabbed it and pulled it under, dousing it.

"Ready, boys?" Sirius asked.

Remus and Peter nodded.

"Fire!" James instructed the squid.

Squiddy flung the Remus dummy across the grounds.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter watched from behind a rock. The dummy was still flying through the air when Remus asked, "You warned her, right James?"

James let out a few more frowned upon words.

Sirius was stunned for a moment, but then smiled. "Well, we'll just keep on with our plan then. Too late to turn around, right? Right. Dummy's on the ground boys, let's go!" Sirius led the charge across the grounds to a stunned Professor McGonagall and the smiling toad.

"Now I see what you mean, Minerva!" Umbridge squealed with horrible delight, "He's not harmless at all!" She let out a little chuckle (that would make your author here throw up… and that takes a lot).

The Professor, it appeared, was still in shock and unable to speak, or even move, besides a hand that had started shaking.

"Professor!" Sirius shouted with glee, causing his Transfiguration teacher to snap her head in his direction. James appeared behind Sirius, Peter behind James, and finally, Remus.

Contradictory to what the boys had assumed would happen, McGonagall didn't look relived, and she didn't start laughing. She became angry and tensed up even more.

James pretended not to take notice, "Man! We got you pretty good, didn't we, Professor? Come on, you have to admit that one was clever!"

"Miss Umbridge!" Remus said as if he were surprised. "What are you here for?"

Dolores Umbridge only turned completely red out of anger and stormed away.

After the toad disapparated, the four young Gryffindors doubled over in laughter, but they stopped one by one as McGonagall went down the line and smacked them all upside the head.

"What has gotten into your heads?" she didn't pause for an answer before plowing on, "Don't you ever do that to me again, do you understand?!"

"Yes, Professor!" the boys responded in unison, suddenly standing at attention.

"Now that that's settled," McGonagall's demeanor changed completely. She looked like she almost wanted to smile. "That was extremely clever, and if it hadn't scared me so much, I'd give you points! However, that was a prank, I'm assuming, meant for a ministry worker (undeserving of her position as she may be), and has to be punished (by law). So, a week of detention. Now get rid of this new lawn ornament and get back inside!"

"Of course, Professor!" the boys chanted with smiles on their faces.

Professor McGonagall began her journey back into the castle, but paused when James asked, "Did we really 'scare' you, Professor?"

"Yes, you really did. Congratulate yourselves, and keep it quite!" McGonagall flashed them a smile before turning back around and entering the school.

The boys thought they were off the hook, but lo and behold, a petite figure with vivid red hair stormed out of the castle and stepped right up to them. "_What_ the heck were you thinking? That was the stupidest thing I've ever seen, and I've seen a _lot_ of stupid things, most of which you preformed! I swear McGonagall was _this_ far away from having a heart attack! How would you have felt then?"

"Calm down, Evans! McGonagall got a kick out of it. She'll probably go back to her office and laugh," Sirius said casually as he flopped down on the grass where the Remus dummy had been seconds ago.

"Lily, trust us. McGonagall isn't angry," Remus said calmly and sat down in the grass as well, followed by Peter who belly-flopped.

"Quit doing that, Pete! It hurts to watch!" Sirius said after wincing.

"Sorry."

"How can you sleep at night?" Lily snapped, "Seriously, this is disgusting! You pretend that one of you died as a _prank_?"

"Actually, we were doing what McGonagall asked us," Sirius said from somewhere in the overgrown grass.

"So McGonagall told you to have the squid launch a seemingly dead student across the grounds?" Lily asked hysterically.

"Nope, but we can't tell you the true reason," Peter said.

"Well," commented Sirius, "We could… but then we'd have to kill you. Hey! Maybe we should tell you, because then we could kill you and use you in another prank!"

Lily scrunched up her nose in disgust.

"We should totally see what Zonko's has next Hogsmeade visit!" James exclaimed. "Hey, speaking of Hogsmeade, you want to go with me, Evans?"

Lily's jaw might as well have hit the ground. "I come out here, yell at you (for the billionth time), call you disgusting (for the trillionth time), and then you ask me out (again)? Do you know how backwards that is?"

"So… is that a yes?"

"NO!" Lily screamed. She then proceeded to stomp back into the school.

Sirius sat up, revealing his location a good ten feet away from where he started. "Harsh rejection!"

James shrugged and sat down. "Well, overall, how'd you think it went?"

"I give that prank an 'O'!" Remus exclaimed and put his hand up into the air to give a general idea of where he was in the two foot high grass.

"No, say it isn't so! Maybe we gave the wrong Remus to the squid, because I don't think Remus would give a prank an 'Outstanding'!" Sirius shouted.

"Yes, it is so!"

"We're missing lunch…" Peter said slowly.

"FOOD!" Sirius screamed and took off.

* * *

I amaze myself sometimes, I really do! ...wow... that sounds super stuck-up...

Anyway! Please review and let me know what you think of this chapter! Reviewers will be rewarded! -holds up e-galleons- Look at it and all its shinyness! I'll give you lots of shiny e-galleons if you review! That's it, push the little blue-ish purple buttong that says review... Good viewer! Now type out a review...

...I think I need to be put into a straight jacket...


	39. Chapter 39

_**THIRY NINE– weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_Three Umbridge-free weeks! Maybe that prank did work._

Wishful thinking. You know she'll be back.

_Aren't YOU the one always telling ME to be more OPTIMISTIC?_

I'm not being pessimistic, just stating the truth.

_Yeah, uh huh, sure._

Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew look way too happy right now.

_Uh oh…_

Yeah, exactly. Every time that happens it means bad news for us.

**Speaking of bad news, has anyone read the Evening Prophet?**

_No. _

**Some old mansion in Scotland was ransacked. Remember that weird rune-ish thing that was inscribed on the one auror's ring? That was over the house.**

_Was anything stolen, like a person, maybe?_

**The house was empty. Well, it was well cared for, but no one lived there anymore, according to the house-elf.**

_What'd the elf say?_

**Hrmm… hrmm… let me find it… Ah! Here, "Mistress moved out some time ago, oh yes! Mistress's nephew's family was supposed to come and keep poor Potts (that's the house elf's name) company! But Mistress's nephew never comes, oh no! But Potts keeps the house clean and ready for him!" Odd little creatures, house elves.**

Minerva…

**Pomona?**

Where'd Minerva go?

_I'm physically here; give me a moment for my mental self to catch up._

Did Potts say anything was missing?

**No, just that someone came in the night and whacked the poor thing over the head, and when the elf woke up, the house was completely out of order and no one was around.**

_Did she say anything else?_

**Well, she said… wait… how do we know it's a she?**

_I know it's a she because she's mine!_

…**What?**

_Potts is my house elf, and when I got the job here, I gave McGonagall Mansion to my nephew and I left Potts there for him, but he has yet to show up! Now what else did she say happened?!_

**She said that whoever 'visited' was looking for someone, not something.**

_How could someone think that someone was still there? The place has been abandoned for 18 years now! I mean, if someone didn't know that they'd had to have been living under a rock!_

Maybe they just haven't been keeping up with things going on?

_Pah! No, they must just be stupid! If someone is looking for someone else, they would try to find out all they could before taking action. They would have easily found out that my nephew owns a chain of apothecaries in Canada, and that my sister works for the Ministry in Australia, that I'm here, and that we three are the only people that can legally own the mansion! Had they done research, they wouldn't have bothered going to the mansion! But no one can possibly be that stupid, so they must have been looking for someTHING, and NOT someONE._

Your reasoning seems fair. But in any event, Potts probably shouldn't stay there. 

_True… I'll go get her tomorrow after class._

**Why not just call her?**

_No, I prevented that when I left so that my nephew wouldn't call her to Canada. A completely new surrounding would scare her too much. _

**Then won't taking her to Hogwarts frighten her just as much?**

_No, she reads about Hogwarts all the time._

…**Your elf reads?**

_Yes, I taught her when I was seven. _

**Why?**

_I felt sorry for her that she couldn't and didn't understand why she hadn't learned._

…**You must have been the oddest little kid ever…**

_Evidently, you don't remember my sister._

**No, and I don't think I want to.**

So Potts is going to work in the kitchens then?

_Most likely._

Fantastic! I miss that little thing, she's so sweet!

Back to the article, is this the third or fourth odd thing that's happened so far?

_Third, why?_

Just trying to organize my thoughts.

_You actually organize something?_

It has been known to happen. Anyway, so the first one was that family of four in southern Britain, right?

_Yes…_

And then the aurors, and the mansion is the last so far.

_So far?_

The mansion and the aurors are obviously linked through the symbol. Something evil is arising, and we need to be ready for it.

_Don't you think you're overreacting, just a touch?_

No. That symbol they showed in the paper reminds me of something. I can't put my finger on it, but it makes me uneasy.

_You mean you don't trust something? The world really is turning upside down!_

I'm surprised that you're taking this so lightly. Your childhood house is torn apart and you're sitting here making jokes!

_Potts will have the house put back together by the time I go to get her. And I'm not all that upset because whatever the person was looking for they didn't find._

But chances are that they'll look again. 

_They won't be stupid enough to go to the mansion again._

That's right, next time they'll be sneakier and will have done as you suggested and hit the books.

_Now you're beginning to scare me, Albus. I find it somewhat creepy how far you're digging into this. _

I'm telling you! That symbol is something we don't want to see! I know I've seen it before, I'm absolutely positive! I just can't remember where!

_I think it's perfectly understandable that the symbol makes people uneasy. A skull with a snake, both things are usually a sign of bad fortune._

**Well whoever it is, they're giving the Slytherin animal a bad name.**

_Snakes already have a bad name._

Just stay on your toes and let me know if anything new comes up, alright?

_Fine. _

**Dinner!**

_Does he ever think about anything than food?_

Probably not.

* * *

_**Dinner**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

**McGonagall's house was robbed?**

_No, weren't you reading? The house was torn apart, but nothing's missing!_

**Maybe something IS missing and the elf didn't notice. Kreacher misses stuff all the time… like my room.**

Your Mum probably tells him to skip it.

**It wouldn't surprise me.**

_The point is that whoever did visit was looking for someone. I agree with Dumbledore. _

I agree with McGonagall. You and Dumbledore are blowing it out of proportion. So, one person has committed two crimes. Happened plenty of times before.

**Yeah, I don't think that the family over the summer and these last two are related. I mean, we all agree that Greyback was responsible for the family, but we looked him up. He's not a wizard, so he couldn't have sent back the auror's ring without delivering it personally, and he couldn't have gone through McGonagall Mansion in one night. That place is huge! I've seen pictures.**

_But we agreed that over the summer Greyback must have had an accomplice! He wouldn't bother going after the adults! Maybe the person that was with him was a wizard._

Or a witch. 

**Maybe I should see what Bellatrix is doing, eh? Remember her, James?**

Yeah! She's a piece of work. I can see her doing something like that.

**She's engaged now, did you know that?**

Nope. That's interesting, though. I figured she'd try to kill off anyone that even took interest in her.

**That was funny!**

I mean, honestly. I only made a comment on her hair and called her "Trixie" It still hurts to think about that. –shudder-

_Can we get back to the important stuff, please?_

Alright, alright!

_Although you guys have a point, what if Greyback WAS the accomplice?_

What's the difference?

_We were making him out to be the ring leader. What if he's FOLLOWING someone else?_

**From what we read he doesn't answer to anyone, especially a wizard.**

_But he'd do anything for victims._

You have a point too, Remus, but I don't think we can actually reach a decision until we've got more to go on.

The way things are going, I don't think we want more to go on!

**Probably not, but – **

_But if Dumbledore is right, which he probably is, more is coming, and it'll only get worse._

* * *

Uh oh, the Drama Queen within is taking over again!

So, many reviews of the last chapter expressed their worries about me possibly being put into a straight jacket; fear no longer! After I updated McGonagall decided to try to assist me with the whole straight jacket dealio. I have since decided that I do not need a straight jacket. However, McGoangall did send some nice men in white coats to try and "help" me... I've been playing lots of hide-and-go-seek with them! I hide; they try to seek.

CALLING ALL VIEWERS! Upgrade your stats, become a REVIEWER! It is a well known fact that with this story, reviewers are much better off than viewers, although I'm grateful for both.

REVIEW! Pwease? Pwease? PWEASE?! I'll give you some e-galleons... and maybe even one of the nice men in white coats mustache... That guy got too close to me when I had scissors in my hand... :D


	40. Chapter 40

**_Forty– a few days later_**

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Bad news! You there, Albus?

Present. What news?

_No! Not more news!_

But it's fresh! Hasn't even hit the press yet. Alastor sent it to you… but the owl may have been intercepted by a harmless Herbology Professor heading out to the greenhouses.

_I hardly call that harmless._

Anyway, that symbol was spotted again.

Ah ha! I warned you! A tally under my name, if you don't mind.

Someone broke into the Ministry last night, left the symbol, and wrote in fire on the floor, "I am Lord Voldemort. Prepare yourselves."

Uh oh… 

_A new Dark Lord! What else could go wrong this year?_

A lot more, apparently. Someone tried to break into the Minister's little girl's room.

_You're kidding!_

Am not! Luckily, Millicent (1) was in the next room and heard what was going on. She only saw a black robe.

_Pomona, give me that letter._

No can do, I've got a class in five.

_Fine! What else does MY letter say, then?_

I told you pretty much everything.

_I really don't think you have._

Alright, I've told you about the Ministry break in, writing in fire, symbol.

_What was written again?_

"I am Lord Voldemort. Prepare yourselves."

_Why does 'Voldemort' sound familiar?_

Something you need to tell us, Minerva?

**I've told you a billion times! She's a dark witch in disguise, and one day she'll blow and kill us all in our sleep!**

_Trust me, if I were a dark witch, you'd be long gone by now._

**Hey!**

_Anyway, what happened at the Bagnolds'?_

Someone broke into the little girl's room, but Millicent came in and the mission was abandoned.

_You said all she saw was a black robe?_

Oh, wait. I lied.

_Thought so._

Whoever was there dropped some sort of mask.

Stupid bell! I'll give you your letter after class, Minerva.

_You'd better, or I'll come get it._

**Watch it; she's coming for you now!**

_Actually, you're my number one target, Horace. I've just lost my plans for your destruction._

**I TOLD YOU! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!**

_Merlin's beard! I thought you said you took his whiskey, Dumbledore!_

I did, but he must have gotten it back or gotten more!

_No, I told Rosemerta not to… Aberforth. _

What?

_I forgot about Aberforth! Slughorn must have bought his stock at the Hog's Head._

Oh! Well I can just owl Aberforth now.

_No, I don't trust you with such a task. I'll talk to him later._

Nice to know how much faith you have in me.

* * *

_**(1) Millicent Bagnold was the Minister of Magic before Fudge.**_

* * *

_**Transfiguration**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Who would try to break into the Minister's house? That's just plain crazy!

_This Voldemort guy would, apparently. See? I told you Dumbledore was right! This Voldemort is absolutely mad. He was behind it all, I bet you anything._

**Alright, you win. Happy? So now we have a dark lord on the loose. We already have Umbridge, how bad can this guy be?**

_A lot worse. Umbridge has yet to kill off three aurors for no reason._

Now just because the aurors aren't back, and the ring was sent doesn't mean they were killed. Maybe they were just tortured and the ring was a warning? Maybe they're being held hostage!

_Good suggestion, Pete, but I doubt it. One person couldn't hold three trained aurors hostage. And if one person could, then that isn't a good sign for the rest of us._

But Voldemort (What a stupid name!) isn't alone! He's at least got Greyback with him.

**We don't know if the summer family and the other four events are related. We don't even know if the attempted break-in and the Ministry break-in are related.**

_They probably are, what's the chances of two different crimes, both possibly being a warning to the Minister – _

Breaking into a house isn't exactly a warning.

_Why would someone break in through a little girl's bedroom if they're after an item? I think it was an attempted kidnapping to get the Minister under control early. _

But how can someone be in two places at the same time?

**We don't know that they were at the same time.**

Apparation. The person could have gone, written the message, and then headed out to the Minister's. Or they could have tried the Minister's first, then failed, got mad, and written the message.

_You can't apparate into the Ministry after hours. Someone would have had to have broken in, and that would take quite some time. It's possible that we're dealing with a blossoming dark community. What's a dark lord without followers?_

You guys… McGonagall is glaring at us…

This conversation will be continued at a later time when we aren't in danger of being turned into frogs.

**Think Evans would turn you back human, Prince James?**

Shut up!

* * *

Before I beg for reviews, I think its required of me to apologize for not being so frequent with updates. You see, someone has placed a block in the writing portion of my brain, inhibiting my writing. Tragic, I know. I'm doing my best to pull through!

-hears laughter from next room- ...Oh no she did not! She did NOT put the block in my brain!

"Not directly! I had those men in the white coats do it for me!"

McGONAGALL!!

"Yes?"

THIS MEANS WAR!! -runs off to find Peeves, taking Lappy the laptop along-

Please, help me with my revenge plot against McGonagall by annoying her; review! I'll give you some of her Ginger Newts that I'm going to steal in a few minutes!


	41. Chapter 41

_**Forty- one – weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

This is just spiraling out of control! Three families gone, two more aurors disappeared, five more children bitten, what's next?

_An epiphany!_

…What?

_I remember why I remember the name 'Voldemort'!!_

Do tell!

_That's what Tom Riddle's closest 'friends' called him! Riddle IS Voldemort!_

**What? Come on, Riddle was Head Boy, had special service awards, all that jazz. You really think he would turn dark?**

_He already WAS dark! _

Tom Marvolo Riddle? I don't know, he was practically worshipped, why would he be out 'getting rid of' people that went to school with him?

_Vol… Lor…_

What's 'vol' and 'lor'?

_One T, three Os, two Ms, an A, - _

What, are we listing O.W.L. grades or something? Hey! M isn't even a grade!

"_I am Lord Voldemort" …_

**She's been possessed! Run for it!**

No, just leave her, she'll tell us eventually.

_Now I'm absolutely positive Riddle is Voldemort._

Why?

_If you rearrange the letters of his full name you can spell "I am Lord Voldemort"._

…

CREEPY!

Ah! THAT'S where I saw the symbol! I thought it was just some random doodle on the side of his essay! 

So he's been working on this whole dark lord thing since school years?

_Apparently…_

Well this is problematic…

_Thank you, Professor Obvious._

No, not that. Well, it's related to it…

_Albus…_

Riddle's coming in sometime next week! Remember a few years ago how he wanted an interview? He sent me an owl last night…

_He can't come here! Not now, especially! _

Well I can't just cancel now!

_You mean you're going to willingly let a madman into a castle full of CHILDREN?!_

He won't do anything! I doubt he's got enough support to even have hopes of invading the school.

_WHY DO YOU THINK HE'S COMING FOR AN INTERVIEW?!_

He came the year after he graduated for an interview!

_Well thank heavens Dippet didn't hire him then! Follow Dippet's example!_

I'm not going to hire him!

_Then what's the point of letting him come here?!_

I might be able to find something out!

_He was able to disappear from society for over a decade! You think you'll be able to get valuable information out of him in half an hour?! _

We don't know how long the interview will be.

_It shouldn't BE at ALL! Cancel it!_

No can do. Cancelling it would be worse than allowing it to happen!

_I don't even want to hear your reasoning behind that!_

* * *

_**Boys' Dorm**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Ummm… I think we know who's behind all this stuff now…

_Dumbledore's lost his mind! He knows who this guy is, and what he's done, and he's letting him come here?_

I wonder how long it took that guy to get Lord Voldemort out of Tom Marvolo Riddle…

**Not something we should worry about, Pete!**

Sirius, it's time to get a detention.

**Alright.**

Remus, Peter, you two need to come with us.

_What? Why?_

Because we need to talk to McGonagall about this stuff!

_She'll wonder how we know half the stuff we do!_

We can say we read it in the paper! Just not where the 'paper' was from…

**It'll be risky, talking to her about it.**

We can say we're worried about what's going on.

**Alright, fine. How are we getting detention this time?**

Pass worthless notes.

_I don't think you want that. Just to annoy you, Sirius would start a conversation about Evans._

**Remus! You ruined my fun!**

_Just looking out for James. McGonagall might read the note aloud._

I appreciate it, Remus!

**Fine. What are we going to do then?**

Set a timer on a dung bomb so it goes off ten minutes into class!

Good thinking, Pete!

**Better make it four, just to be sure that we all get into detention.**

_How about we make it none? _

Quit being a party pooper, Remus!

**Teehee… Dung bombs… party pooper… get it?**

_Grow up, Sirius!_

**NEVER!**

* * *

Oh dear! Yes, Voldie has come!

Dear Lappy is working on hacking into my brain to dissolve the brain block, but its a slow process, you must be patient!

-opens door to office- -finds office rigged all over the place for pranks- McGONAGALL!! -runs off, still typing on Lappy-

Review! I'll read and respond to them and give you e-galleons as soon as I have my revenge!


	42. Chapter 42

_**Forty-two – Day of Riddle's interview**_

Minerva's day had gone rather well… or it would have if she hadn't been so upset. She'd yelled, screamed, snarled, snapped, and even tried asking 'nicely', but Dumbledore refused to cancel Riddle's interview.

It was dinner time, but Minerva couldn't possibly eat. The headmaster's chair was empty, meaning Riddle had finally shown up for his interview. Eventually she just gave up, slammed her fork and knife down, and headed towards her classroom to await Idiots 1, 2, 3, and 4 who were supposed to be in detention after dinner. If she was correct in her timing, it would take her about a minute longer to get to her classroom, leaving her five minutes to vent before detention. Five minutes would work just fine. Four minutes to actually vent, one minute clean up, if necessary.

Minerva was just twelve seconds away from the safety of her classroom when a voice hissed from behind, "Minerva McGonagall!" It made her cringe.

None the less, she turned around, expecting to see a slightly older version of the boy that had been a year behind her in school, but she was in for a shock. Riddle had always been pale and skinny, but had his skin always been THAT pasty colored? Had he been THAT thin? And hadn't his hair been much thicker? And weren't his eyes grey and not some weird reddish? "Riddle," she said back, trying to mask her surprise.

He chuckled. "I don't go by that anymore."

"So I've discovered," Minerva snarled.

"I've been looking for you."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, as a matter a fact, I stopped by your residence a while ago, but you weren't there. I didn't know you'd moved to Hogwarts."

"So you're the one that nearly gave my poor house-elf a concussion and tore the mansion apart?" Minerva raised an eyebrow.

"I hadn't intended on doing either, but what happens, happens," Riddle shrugged as he spoke, obviously not caring at all.

"Well what did you want?"

"I wanted your help, still do actually. I want to ask you to come meet some really fantastic people, who can do some rather fantastic things."

"I'm afraid your definition of 'fantastic' and mine differ greatly," Minerva said back coldly.

"Oh, come on! We both know you never wanted to end up _teaching_! You could do so many other things with your talents! So much power! But here you are, working under your old professor."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you just requesting to work under the same person?"

Riddle only gave another demonic chuckle as a response, and Minerva tried to suppress the chills creeping up her back.

"Well I …appreciate your _offer_, but I'm going to have to turn it down," Minerva turned around to open her classroom door, but Riddle continued talking.

"Do you realize what you're turning away from? Power! Knowledge! A chance to not have to answer to the Ministry, or to Dumbledore! A chance to show who you truly are!"

Minerva snapped back around. "If I were to accept your offer I'd stop answering to the Ministry and Dumbledore only to start running from them and answering to _you_! And who is it you think I 'truly am'? Some spawn of the devil that enjoys children being turned to werewolves? Someone who would take pleasure in installing fear in the hearts of hundreds of people who have already begun to see what you're doing? You think I relish other people's pain? You're looking for the wrong person, Riddle!"

"You don't _know_ half of what's behind all those things. Come with me, and I can tell you. You know that deep down, you want to!"

"I _want_ you to _leave_, Riddle!"

Riddle sighed and flipped his hood up; his pitch black hood that matched the colors of his robes. "You'll wind up the same way as dear brother Michael, Minerva. What a shame that would be."

"LEAVE!" Minerva screamed suddenly.

"I think I've hit a nerve." Riddle's white teeth shown under his hood, made eerie by the fact that Minerva couldn't see his eyes.

"You have no need to open up old wounds! He died for a worthy cause!"

"You really think he was murdered by Grindelwald's goons? He wasn't enough of a danger to _them_." Riddle's smile got wider under his hood.

Minerva's eyes grew extremely wide. Riddle nodded in contentment and he turned to leave. Minerva's hand went to her wand, but fate intervened in the form of four fourth year Gryffindors suddenly charging around the corner.

"Detention time!" Black shouted.

"What'll it be today, Professor? Are we scrubbing the floors, rearranging books, or cleaning out cages?" James asked.

Minerva took her hand away from her pocket and looked at Riddle in time to see him flash one last evil grin in her direction before he turned around the corner, but his satanic laugh could be heard from down the hall.

"He's a creepy fellow…" Pettigrew whispered, though there was a pinch of something other than fear in his voice.

Minerva wished she didn't have detention. She wished she could just sink to the floor and sit there, undisturbed, for hours. However, what she wished most was that Riddle hadn't found her.

"Professor," Lupin said cautiously, "was that Tom Riddle?"

Minerva took a deep breath and recomposed herself. She'd have to wait to fall apart until later. "Yes, that was Riddle. Now come on, you have detention!"

She led the way into the classroom and headed straight towards her desk, speaking as she went, "I just got some more mice in, and they need to be sorted by size. They're in the white box over in the corner. Let me know once you've got that done." She sat down, pulled open her drawer, and pulled out her Notebook and glanced to make sure her detainees were working before opening it.

* * *

_**Teachers' Notebook**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_I TOLD you that he shouldn't have come here!_

Why, what happened? 

_He didn't leave right after the interview was over. He stopped by for a chat!_

What happened?

_Oh, I was offered the chance of a lifetime! The chance to become a fugitive! So appealing._

**I told you all – **

_Shut UP, Horace!_

**Alright, alright! Calm down!**

_That's asking for a bit much right now! What's worse, I'm fairly certain that Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew heard most of the conversation. I WARNED you!_

Well, if it makes you feel any better he's not coming back.

_He was already here and that's enough! _

I couldn't just refuse him over a letter, that'd be rude!

_RUDE?! You're dealing with a murderer and you're concerned about being RUDE?_

**Now that's unfair, we aren't sure that he IS responsible for all those things.**

_Hopeless cases, both of you!_

**Just stating a fact!**

Quit living in denial, Slughorn! You know very well that he's far from innocent.

_Oh, lookie here! Head of Magical Law Enforcement has disappeared from the face of the planet._

Why doesn't evil take a break?

_Because good would get the chance to take the upper hand._

* * *

_**Boys' Dorm- later that night**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

So what's-his-face is recruiting?

_Apparently. And that is DEFINITELY not good._

**This really blows. Half my family won't even wait for an invitation before skipping off to join him! Whoop de do! I can just imagine my next family reunion. Shoot… that's this Christmas! If I don't come back after break…**

_He's obviously been recruiting for a while. No way he'd even have tried to break into the Ministry if he didn't have quite a few people to back him up._

And to think that at the beginning of the year we thought that Umbridge would be our biggest problem.

**She isn't, but she'll complicate things.**

_How so?_

**It's obvious that Voldemort is using werewolves. Those come under Umbridge's department, but she's too busy turning a blind eye to them and trying to get you out of here.**

She's a real pain.

There's gotta be someone in that department working on the real dangers!

_Doubt it. Umbridge is the head of the department now. With her, whoever isn't doing exactly what she tells them will be clearing off their desk. _

**Bagnold will do something about all this. According to my Mum, "Millicent Bagnold should never have been put into office! Worst thing that's ever happened to the magical British population!" so Bagnold's got to be pretty good.**

_But Bagnold is probably already frightened about the whole thing! Someone tried to steal her kid, and this is just the beginning of the whole ordeal._

**Then Dumbledore will do something about it.**

What power does Dumbledore have over the Ministry?

**I dunno, but if the Ministry doesn't do something, and Dumbledore doesn't try something, McGonagall will make him.**

I think it's funny that Slughorn keeps trying to get everyone to believe that McGonagall's dark.

Ah, he's just joking around.

**Either way, he shouldn't be talking, I mean, he's the head of SLYTHERIN!**

Which is what makes it even more entertaining. Speaking of Slytherin, how's Regulus doing?

**Ugh! You HAD to bring him up, didn't you?**

Just asking.

**Fine. From what I've heard, he's been hanging around with Snape and Malfoy, so he's probably shaping up to be a Super Snob!**

_Ah, poor Regulus. _

**Poor?**

_Stuck with all the Slytherins. I shudder at the thought._

**Oh, he loves it. Especially with all the stuff Mum and Dad are sending him. **

Is he going to try out for Quidditch next year?

**More than likely.**

Teeheeehee! I'll be sure he gets knocked off his broom if he makes it on the team.

**Thanks! Man, I picked the best friends!**

_Well, James, I hope you'll enjoy your month of detention for knocking Regulus off._

It's Quidditch! How can I possibly get detention for that?

_With you, it probably wouldn't be hard to pull off. _

I appreciate your confidence in me, Moony!

_Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, we have class tomorrow. _

BEDTIME! I'll get the lights!

* * *

-starts digging around in a bog cardboard box- Oh! Where'd it go? -pulls out a crown- AH! Found it! -puts crown on dead-

Crown: HELPLESS, HOPELESS, DRAMA QUEEN

There, not that I've got my Drama Crown...

Ah yes, Voldie has come out of the shadows to kill all the helpless bunnies in the world and burn off the wings of butterflies! More Voldemort shall come, don't worry! Well... he won't be at Hogwarts... but that, I'm sure, is obvious!

Pweeeeaaaassseeeee review? Please? I'll order you your own crown if you want one! Pweeease review? -puppy dog eyes-


	43. Chapter 43

_**Forty-three – weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

You'll never guess what Augusta Longbottom just told me in a letter!

_If it's bad news I really don't want to hear it right now._

No, this is good! So you know how Augusta's husband works as an Unspeakable?

_So?_

He came home with the news that Bagnold talked with Umbridge and that now Umbridge can't bother with Lupin until something about Greyback is done!

_FANTASTIC! That's a load off of my shoulders._

Who told Millicent about Umbridge visiting us, because I'm almost positive Dolores wouldn't…

She had to write what her department was doing in a report. Hopefully, if Dolores doesn't make progress, she'll get her promotion taken away. Oh, I would cry with joy!

_Why did she even get a promotion in the first place?_

I don't know. The old head of department was probably being negligent or something.

_And Umbridge is doing better?_

_Now that her position is threatened, probably._

Has anyone, by chance, seen Fawkes?

…_How do you lose a Phoenix?_

Well, I sent him off with a letter yesterday… and he isn't back yet. 

_He's been gone longer. Where did you send him?_

To Arabella Figg…

_What do you need to get in contact with her about?_

I wanted to see what the Muggles are saying about all the disappearances and such. I know that the Muggle Minister knows about them, so…

_You mean that the Ministry wants the Muggles to try to find murderers of our kind? Do you know how ridiculous that is?_

Well, asking them to keep an eye out, more like. Warning them.

_It's not like they can do anything! All we're doing by warning them is throwing them into panic!_

_All the same, they should know._

_Well, while we're letting them know about the latest in "Rising Dark Lords", why don't we tell them about giants and werewolves and vampires? _

That's just going over the top. Why are you so upset about this? The Muggles essentially knew about Grindelwald.

_That's because he was effecting them._

…_I thought that was Hitler that was oppressing the Muggles?_

It was, but Grindelwald did lend a hand to Hitler without the Muggles' knowledge.

**I have some news!**

_Good or bad?_

**I'm not sure… really.**

What is it, Horace?

**Well, Dolores got bumped from her department,**

_That's GOOD NEWS, Horace! _

**But we'll be seeing more of her than before.**

…_Why?_

**The Ministry has figured out that What's-His-Face –**

Voldemort?

**Yeah, him. They figured out that he's got people behind him, so they've put a committee together to try to find them to take a bit of weight off the aurors, and guess where Dolores has been assigned?**

_NO!_

Where'd you hear this?

**I've got connections at the Ministry, and one of them JUST owled me.**

_So now she's coming back with the intention of finding Voldemort followers here?_

**Apparently.**

_What, she's expecting some student to fess up? "Yes, Ms. Umbridge. I frequently sneak out of school to go murder innocent people. Would you mind taking me to Azkaban so I can have my soul sucked out of me by those lovely dementors?"_

**She's coming to get YOU!**

_Oh, please. _

**She's figured out you're dark!**

_Horace, if I were dark I wouldn't be teaching at Hogwarts right now._

**How do we know? You could be a double agent! Maybe you really did accept Riddle's offer and he positioned you here and you made a copy of your Notebook and gave it to him so he can see what's going on at Hogwarts! –gasp- I bet that's what you did!**

_Oh yes, too true. Riddle is reading every word we are writing. Now, I have a detention to handle! Crucio time!_

**NOOO!! DON'T HURT THE STUDENTS!**

_Them or you, take your pick._

**Have fun with your detention! **

_Someone go take the whiskey away from him! Golly!_

I honestly don't know where he's getting it from now. 

Mail order?

_No, I sent a letter to the Leakey Cauldron and other places in Diagon Alley that sell that stuff._

Huh. –grin-

_Pomona…_

Poppy! I have new prey for you!

* * *

_**Boys' Dorm**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

_Five minutes until we have to go to detention!_

Do you really think Professor McGonagall will torture us?!

**No, Pete. She was just trying to scare Slughorn.**

_We're doomed._

**Why?**

_Umbridge can now rightfully be here. _

…**We ARE doomed.**

She'll probably be here tomorrow and interview all the teachers.

**Maybe McGonagall will eat her.**

I hope she doesn't. Then Minnie would die choking on Umbridge's fat!

**Oh, point.**

_I think I have the weirdest friends anyone could EVER ask for._

That's why you love us, Remus!

_Yeah, yeah._

**So what are we going to do about Umby?**

I say we take Petey's suggestion from a while ago and shrink her heels while they're on her feet.

_Sounds good to me!_

**Right. Tomorrow, Wormtail, you keep an eye out on the grounds and tell us when Enemy #1 is coming. **

Got it.

**Prongs, you'll distract anyone around.**

Yes sir.

**Moony,**

_Stop calling me that, Sirius! Someone might figure it out!_

**Moony, you're going to shrink the heels.**

_What will YOU be doing?_

**Helping Prongs distract people, of course!**

_If I get a detention I'm taking you all with me._

Fair deal.

**Detention time with Minnie!**

My favorite! Let's go!

* * *

She's BAAACK!!

I will put the next chapter up real fast if I get a lot of reviews. Like, seriously, I'll update tomorrow if I get lots of reviews! so REVIEW! I want to update as bad as you want to read! ...well... maybe. I dont know! It depends on how much you like reading...


	44. Chapter 44

_**Forty-four– Next day, the staff room**_

Minerva McGonagall walked into the staffroom and sat down on one of the various couches. "The Idiots are up to something," she stated to Filius and Pomona who were playing chess.

"Why do you say that?" Filius asked before taking out one of Pomona's knights.

"Filius, have you no mercy?" Pomona snapped.

"Mercy would make the game rather pointless."

"Anyway, I say they're up to something because Pettigrew is staring out a window at the grounds, Potter and Black are trying to hurry anyone passing along, and Lupin is pacing around with his wand out."

"That's problematic. Why would they be doing that?" Filius looked up from the chessboard. Pomona seized her chance and switched one of her pieces with the Charms Professor's to put her at a slightly upper hand.

"I don't know. That's why I'm worried."

Horace Slughorn burst into the staffroom. "Guess what, my fellow coworkers!"

"Whenever you say that it isn't good news!" Minerva commented, knowing it wouldn't stop him from speaking anyway.

"Dolores Umbridge is coming!"

"When?" Minerva went from being nearly asleep to completely awake in a millisecond.

"Well Dumbledore is letting her in now…"

Minerva, Pomona, and Filius flew out of their seats and looked out the staffroom window.

"Oh no…"

"What is it, Minerva? Other than the obvious?" Pomona asked.

"I'll be back!" Minerva ran out of the staffroom.

"Ohhh!" Filius exclaimed, "Her Idiots are out to get Umbridge!"

"Then why is she stopping them? She's the one who had them start everything in the first place!" Pomona stated, and then slammed a hand over her mouth.

"I KNEW IT!" Horace shouted before he practically skipped out of the staffroom, a sight that would have made any student laugh and any staff member know that he'd already had a fair dose of whiskey that morning.

"Well, I already knew it," Filius commented.

"I still don't know why she'd stop them."

"Because they're being so ridiculously obvious about it."

"True, but the prank they pulled earlier in the year was just as obvious."

"But there's no way they could make it look like an accident this time. Umbridge thinks that no one would dare mess with Albus, so…"

Minerva ran back into the staffroom and slid down the wall by the door and was trying to hide her laughter.

"Minerva…" Pomona said slowly.

"They shrunk her heels while she was still in them! Oh, priceless!" Minerva whispered.

Pomona smiled.

"Why are we whispering?" Filius asked, though he whispered as well.

"Because she's hobbling up here in her all too small shoes!"

Filius's eyes widened. "Minerva, you need to get up! If you don't have some sort of alibi she'll pin her shoes on you!" He made his way over to the chess board, re-set it, and then set the pieces around so that he had a little bit of an upper hand, but it looked like the game had been going on for a while. "Over here! Pomona, quit grinning and pull out a book!"

Minerva got up and took her spot on the other side of the chessboard, knowing her colleague was right. Pomona pulled out her lesson plans and started on those.

The staffroom door opened, and the Headmaster put a foot in. "Well this is the staffroom, Dolores, as I'm sure you know. Feel free to take a seat."

Dolores Umbridge walked in as delicately as possible on her feet that had been squished into a size three shoe and sat down in the nearest chair.

Dumbledore's robes rustled slightly, though he was completely still. Neither Umbridge nor any part of the Staff noticed.

* * *

_**Under James's Cloak **_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

_James, Sirius, if we get caught I WILL come get you during full moon!_

**You told us that before we got under the cloak. Where to?**

Same place we were during the staff party in second year!

**What if a duel breaks out?**

Then we're in trouble. But Dumbledore will be here, he won't let anything happen.

Why is Dumbledore leaving?

_JAMES!! SIRIUS!!_

* * *

"I'll just go get everyone else!" Dumbledore said cheerily and left the staffroom.

Umbridge had her lips pursed as if to keep herself from making any noise.

"What brings you here, Dolores?" Filius questioned without looking away from the game of chess before him.

"Gathering information for the Ministry," Dolores responded quickly and pursed her lips again.

"Something wrong, Dolores?" Pomona looked over her plans at the woman and raised an eyebrow.

"No," Umbridge said shortly.

Behind her planner, Pomona smiled. Minerva was finding it difficult to keep a straight face.

Umbridge reached into her horrible fuzzy pink back and pulled out some parchment and a self-inking quill. "Is this what you always do?" She asked to no one in particular.

"What do you mean? You have to be more specific," Minerva tried not to snarl. The questioning had commenced.

"I mean is this what you always do after class? Come to the staffroom?"

"No. Sometimes we have to patrol, or grade papers or we have detentions to handle," Filius responded.

Umbridge scribbled several notes down on her parchment.

The toad was just about to start speaking again, but just as she did, Rolanda Hooch flung open the door and made a running jump onto one of the couches. She didn't even notice the woman who was on Hogwarts' Top Five Enemy List. "What's up with the short-notice staff meeting? We just had one last week!"

Poppy Pomfery walked through the staffroom door that Hooch had left open and closed it, though she didn't notice Umbridge either. "Merlin's beard, Rolanda! You nearly mowed down that poor first year! Watch where you're going much?"

"Nope!" Rolanda replied.

Poppy started muttering about how immature a certain flight instructor was.

"Poppy, Rolanda, do you remember Dolores Umbridge?" Pomona said and looked in the toad's direction

Rolanda pulled herself up into a sitting position instead of taking up an entire couch. "Dolores! I was getting worried! We hadn't seen you for nearly two months!"

Umbridge attempted to smile, but it came out looking like a snarl.

"I thought you were supposed to be finding Fenrir Greyback!" Poppy commented, though Minerva could see right through what she was doing. She was taunting Umbridge about her lost promotion.

Umbridge sniffed haughtily. "I've been reassigned."

Poppy nodded and sat down by Minerva. "Knight to D7."

Minerva's knight moved where Poppy had suggested and took out Filius's king.

"Poppy!" Filius exclaimed.

"Whoops," Poppy said without any remorse. "Minerva, do you know how long this is going to take?"

"No, why?"

"Pettigrew's potion blew up during class and Lily Evan's was sitting next to him and the potion got all over her. No clue what went wrong, but she isn't doing so well."

"Poor girl. What happened to the person on the other side of Pettigrew?"

"Lupin was able to dive under the table and away from the potion."

"Ah. Well, be sure to keep me updated on how Evans is doing. I need to know about whether or not I'll need to owl her parents."

"Will do."

Binns floated through the wall. "What is going on here?" he droned.

"Staff meeting." Rolanda barked.

Within fifteen minutes the rest of the staff had walked into the room.

"Alright," said Dumbledore loudly so the entirety of the staff could here him, "As I'm sure you know, Dolores has been reassigned," Minerva noticed here that several of her colleagues pursed their lips or pretended to cough, "and she will be here at Hogwarts to… How did you put it, Dolores?"

"To see if you know anything the Ministry doesn't!" Umbridge said impatiently.

"We know plenty of things the Ministry doesn't; where does she want us to start?" Rolanda muttered. Her comment earned her a kick in the shins from the healer across her. Rolanda glared for a brief moment before returning to pretending to listen to Umbridge as she started some long winded explanation.

After ten minutes of talking, Umbridge finally stopped, smiled, and then moved on to her first victim.

"Is she seriously going to question us each one-by-one?" Rolanda hissed.

"It seems so," Poppy answered.

"Why'd you kick me?"

"Because no one else was talking and she might have heard you!"

"Some other people were talking!"

"For a Quidditch player, you're absolutely horrible at watching what's going on around you!"

"That's why she'd get hit with a bludger every game without fail!" Minerva stated.

"What is this, 'Pick on Rolanda' day?" Madam Hooch said indignantly.

"Sure, why not!" Pomona said and put her class planner aside.

"You lot are driving me to want to go sit over by the drunkie there," Rolanda waved her hand in the general direction of the Potions Master.

"Shhhh!" Minerva hissed, "We all know that he's hardly responsible as of late, but Umbridge doesn't and she shouldn't find out!"

"She's going to when she gets to him though," Pomona commented.

Poppy suddenly looked at a charm bracelet around her wrist. "Oh dear," she sighed, "I honestly don't know what the boy put in his potion! I might be back. Something's wrong with Miss Evans… other than the obvious." She got up and had almost left the room when Umbridge caught her.

"Where are you going, Poppy?" Umbridge simpered.

"I'm the school healer, Dolores, and if a student needs help (which one does right now), I'll leave whatever situation I need to, this situation is one I need to leave." Poppy walked out the door and closed it before Umbridge could say anything else.

"She'll pay in blood for that one!" Rolanda said sadly.

"Doomed," Pomona agreed.

Minerva shook her head. "A little dramatic, are we?"

* * *

_**Under James's Cloak**_

Why are all the teacher's trying to sneak out?

Look at the way Umbridge is drilling Professor Kettleburn! That isn't answer enough for you?

**Ouch. She just asked about his missing finger… bad idea. **

_What does a missing finger even have to do with being a possible follower of Voldemort?_

I dunno.

How'd he lose his middle finger, again?

**He flipped off a hippogriff. **

That story is really funny.

_Where'd we hear that one, again?_

**Staff party, second year.**

Oh, there goes Slughorn. How does he get around so quietly?

**One of the great mysteries of Hogwarts.**

* * *

It wasn't long before only Minerva, Pomona, Rolanda, Filius, and Dolores remained in the staffroom.

Dolores walked over to the part of the room that the last staff members that hadn't sneaked away were. "Where's Slughorn?"

"He's probably taking a nap," Rolanda answered, "I'll take his spot, temporarily, as Head of Slytherin."

"Were you even in Slytherin?" Dolores looked suspicious.

"Yes, a year above you. I wasn't in the Common Room much though."

"Oh yes, I remember!" Dolores gave a horrible smile that made Rolanda frown. "Anyway," the toad continued, "Pomona, you were in Hufflepuff, correct?"

"Yes," Pomona responded, clearly wondering why she was being asked such an obvious question.

"And your family?"

Minerva rolled her eyes and went back to reading the paper, though she was still listening to the interview.

"Well, I have an older brother named Poseidon, - "

"Poseidon?"

"Yup. Our mother was big into mythology. Anyway,"

"Mythology?"

"It's a Muggle thing," Pomona said irritably, tired of being interrupted.

"I have it here that you're half-blood?"

"Yes, my mother was a Muggle. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just gathering any information we possibly can," Dolores said casually, though she sounded slightly disgusted and made another note on her parchment.

Minerva raised an eyebrow behind her paper.

Ten more minutes passed of Pomona being interviewed. Minerva's knuckles were white on her paper, and she had torn holes through it with her nails, which she could feel digging into her palm.

A quarter of an hour went past in which Filius was questioned. Minerva looked at her hands. Blood was dripping out her palm from her nails. She hid her gasp and walked to the supply closet to get napkins to attempt to clean up a bit.

When she came back out, Rolanda's smile had become fixed and was beginning to sag as her questioning continued. Minerva got the familiar feeling of a kettle set to boil, but she was almost ready to blow up. In fact, she could hardly wait for her interview, just to give Umbridge a hard time.

But when the time for Minerva's interview finally came, it was clear that she wasn't the only one set on aggravating.

"So, Minerva! How long have you been working at Hogwarts?" Dolores asked.

"Eighteen years come December," Minerva said shortly.

"What were you doing in between the time you graduated from Hogwarts and the time you got your job here?"

"If you looked things up every once and a while you would have been able to see that I had been working in the Auror office," Minerva tried not to snap.

(**No way! Minnie worked with the Aurors?**)

Dolores's smile shrank slightly. "Going back a bit, what House were you in?"

"Gryffindor."

"And you were quite the prankster, if I remember correctly."

"You do remember correctly."

(_I still can't get over that._)

"But in your early sixth year, you snapped out of it until half way through your seventh?"

"Correct again." Minerva clenched her jaw. She could see the mental cruciatus coming.

"Why?"

Salt was being poured onto Minerva's mental wound. "My brother was killed."

Umbridge hardly tried to conceal her smile being reborn to its original standard. "By whom?"

Minerva lied through gritted teeth, "We never found out."

Umbridge nodded, apparently too overcome with joy at having annoyed Minerva to speak temporarily. "Other family?"

"Miranda, two years younger, sister, works in Australia. Both of my parents are deceased."

"I see," Dolores commented and made several notes.

While Umbridge was writing, Minerva chanced a look at her colleagues. Rolanda looked ready to kill, which was probably why she was sitting outside of Dolores's line of vision. Filius's eyes were blank, a sign that he was upset and trying not to show it. Pomona had put her gardening hat back on and pulled down the rim so it was covering half of her face.

"Back to the prankster within," Dolores continued, "Since you've become the head of Gryffindor, you've had the last two great pranking groups in your house. Could there be any reason for this new trend?"

Minerva's frown became more pronounced. "Are you suggesting that I aid or encourage pranksters that happen to be in my House?"

"No, I'm suggesting you do both!"

"You've suggested wrongly. I find it rather irksome that pranksters keep popping up in my house!"

(**Well that blows.**)

"I'm sure," Umbridge said slowly.

Question after question was fired at Minerva, and she gave as short of answers as possible.

Finally, Minerva realized why Umbridge was asking questions so quickly. She was trying to catch her off guard. "Marital status?" The three staff members that had been slouching in their seats straightened up.

Minerva raised an eyebrow. "None. What does that have to do with anything?"

Umbridge ran over half of Minerva's question with a new one, "Really? Because it has been suggested that…" She looked thoughtful.

"What has been suggested, Dolores?"

Umbridge took her time, as if trying to decide how to word what she wanted to say. "That you and Dumbledore – "

Dolores was cut off by an odd snorting sound from the person across her. Minerva had a hand over her nose and mouth, though her eyes looked extremely amused. Though the interviewer couldn't see, Pomona had hidden herself behind her class planner and Rolanda was biting her tongue.

(Umbridge is so screwed.)

"What is so amusing?"

That was it. Minerva couldn't keep control anymore. Despite trying to keep herself from it, she burst into laughter and was shortly followed by the rest of her colleagues.

"What?" Dolores snapped.

Minerva managed to gasp, "You think that? Oh! Oh goodness! That's FUNNY!"

"I see nothing _funny_ about it! Answer the question!" Umbridge's face was red from fury.

"Oh, well Dumbledore is a good friend, but for goodness sake! The man is eighty years older than I am, and was my school professor, and is my employer! Have YOU got a twisted mind!"

Pomona did her best to impersonate Dumbledore through her insane chuckles, "Oh, look, Minerva! For dessert we can have Crystalized Pineapple! I 'borrowed' some from Horace!"

Rolanda imitated her friend who had started the laughing, "Crystalized Pineapple? That junk? Pah! Go get some real food, like Ginger Newts! And did you STEAL that Pineapple from Horace? Didn't your mother ever teach you not to take what isn't yours?"

Minerva fell out of her seat and still couldn't stop laughing. Pomona and Rolanda had collapsed into a new fit of giggles, and Filius was crying from laughing so hard. On the other hand, Dolores looked ready to give someone a very slow, painful death.

Umbridge threw her notes and quill into her pink frilly bag. "I'll just come back at another time when you all are feeling more mature!"

She started towards the door but had to stop when Minerva managed to say seriously, "Remember, if you give any other of my coworkers as hard a time as you gave us, I will hear about it."

"Is that a threat, Minerva?"

"You'd better believe it!"

Umbridge slammed the staffroom door behind herself and Minerva got up off the floor after chuckling a bit more.

To four fourth years' horror, the Transfiguration Professor walked straight towards them and stretched out her hand. Her hand closed, and she pulled. Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew all had a look of pure terror on their face. Minerva found it hard not to laugh at the ridiculousness of it.

"When under an Invisibility Cloak," Minerva stated, answering the unsaid question, "it is considered wise to keep your shoes under it, especially if they are white on a dark floor."

All four of them looked down, and their eyes traveled back up the figure wearing the white shoes. Pettigrew didn't look up. His eyes were still on his shoes and he seemed to be in slight shock.

"Do you understand what would have happened if Ms. Umbridge had caught you instead of me? You, Lupin, would be packing tonight and gone for who knows how long until we could get everything straightened out. I'm assuming this is your cloak, Potter?"

Potter looked confused.

"I've heard tales of both you and your father. If I find that you are using this to sneak into the staffroom again, I will confiscate it. As for the rest of you, if Umbridge had caught you, you'd be in serious trouble."

"You mean we aren't in serious trouble right now?" Black said hopefully.

"Oh, you are," Minerva said, "but luckily, I, the judge, am on your side and you can avoid an entire year of detentions by getting back under this cloak and getting that fat toad before she leaves the grounds." She held out the cloak back to the four sum, who beamed and dashed out without saying anything else.

"Is that the secret of the great Minerva McGonagall? Cutting deals with students to eliminate enemies?" Rolanda asked with raised eyebrows.

"I just want to make sure she won't forget what I said any time soon." Minerva said as she shrugged.

"How did they know she was coming?" Rolanda said to herself.

Minerva froze completely. How had they known?

"Well, I'm definitely not going to forget what _she_ said any time soon. I mean, does she honestly think you and Dumbledore are having some secret relationship? How odd can she get?" Pomona snorted.

"I don't know, but her stupidity is highly amusing," Filius commented.

"Hey! Lookie here! Blood heel prints! I think someone cut the back of her ankles!" Rolanda pointed out.

"There's an extra two days off the Idiots detentions," Minerva said and then went to gaze out the window.

A few minutes went by before Minerva spoke again, "You know, in the Muggle world, Black would make an amazing actor." She threw open the window and one could hear the faint shrieking of an evil laugh. Rolanda, Pomona, and Filius hurried to the window to investigate.

Sirius Black was standing just outside the owlery with his arms and hands open wide, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "FLY, MY PRETTIES! FLLLYYYY!!" while inside the owlery, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were running around whistling, banging on walls, screaming, and making loud snapping sounds.

Soon, there were at least fifty owls flying around the owlery. Black smiled and ran towards the gate, the same direction an oblivious with anger Umbridge was going. He procured several dead (assumingly smelly) mice out of a bag he had on, and shoved them into Umbridge's purse, all without her knowing. He ran back to the owlery, dropping the occasional mouse on the way. It wasn't all that long before owls were swarming around Umbridge trying to get at her purse. Black was once again back outside the owlery laughing insanely and his buddies were out with him, laughing at both him and their success.

The staffroom once again rang with laughter as the Transfiguration, Herbology, Charms professors and the Flying Instructor watched while Umbridge tried to run to the gates and fell flat on her face due to the size of her shrunken shoes. Minerva actually squealed when Potter rolled through the grass, grabbed something and returned. It was a hot pink, frilly, accursed purse.

* * *

I TOTALLY meant to update yesturday, but Lappy told me that I needed to go shopping for school and such, then he said that I needed to go to a movie, and then he decided to shut down and I had to fix him and all that fun.

Sorry I didn't really come up with a past of any kind for Flitwick and Hooch! If I can think of one for them, I'll find a way to put it in later.

Incase you're wondering, the writing in the () was the Marauders!

Alright, Lappy is threatening to self destruct, so I gotta go, but please review, and I'll respond and send you e-galleons as soon as Lappy decides not to be such a pain in the neck. (I may have to get a new laptop!)


	45. Chapter 45

I realize that I forgot to apologize to you MMAD fans who have been reading. You see, I'm not into MMAD in the least, but you can feel free to continue fantasizing if you wish.

* * *

_**FORTY FIVE- a few weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_These reports are just too funny!_

Minerva, its been two weeks, you're still reading them?

_YES! I told you, they're funny!_

You say I act like a five year old!

_That's because you do!_

And you aren't?

_I'm doing research! We have to know what we're up against!_

Yeah, uh huh, sure.

_I'm quite surprised that your four pranksters even turned that in!_

_Oh, they read it first, I'm sure of it. I had to wait two days to get the bag!_

**I think you should give it back.**

_I think you should shut up._

Why would we give it back anyway, Horace? "Here you go, Dolores! We just asked some fourth year boys to grab it. We read all the files, hope you don't mind!"

**So?**

_Fifteen galleons, Pomona!_

Dang!

**What?**

They bet on you, Horace!

_No, we bet on his stupidity!_

**Hey!**

I really honestly thought you'd see a problem with that statement Horace!

**Well it's nice to know that my colleagues think so little of me!**

_We always have!_

**I'm going to go lock myself in my potions cabinet now!**

_Good luck with that one._

Will you ever stop insulting him?

_Will you ever organize your office?_

…No…

_There's your answer!_

* * *

_**BOYS DORM**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Do you think we ought to tell them that we kept Umbridge's diary?

**They'd keep it then! We'd never see the inside!**

_I still don't understand why it won't open._

We should ask for help!

**Peter, that's one of the dumbest things you have ever said, right next to asking Sprout for help on opening McGonagall's Notebook.**

_Ah, leave him alone, Sirius. _

Let's go over what we know again.

**Won't this be the 4 billionth time?**

_Actually, it'll be the 69__th__. _

So we tried passwords about things against Remus, against half breeds, against Remus, against McGonagall, against Remus –

_We got the point, James!_

I'll keep listing until you say it.

_James!_

against Dumbledore, against REMUS, -

_FINE!_

_Stop it, Prongs!_

OH! BRAVO! HE SAID PRONGS!!

**REMUS! CONGRATULATIONS!**

_Yeah, yeah. Alright, we also tried a bunch of spells, almost leading to the diary's destruction…_

How was I supposed to know that the charm I used would set the book on fire?

_You amaze me sometimes, James._

**At least the fire got rid of the pink fuzz.**

Not before we glued a bunch to McGonagall's favorite quill!

**Yeesh. How long did we get for that one?**

_Four days, I think. That was also the day we gave her the rest of the bag._

**Oh yeah! The detention was totally worth it though.**

Aren't they all?

…**yeah.**

**Where are you going Prongs?**

I spy with my little eye something out the window with greasy black hair!

**GET HIM!**

_You guys! Leave him alone! He's just walking out on the grounds!_

**But he's RIGHT THERE!**

And with Evans! Why the heck is she friends with him? He's a SLYTHERIN! CURSE YOU SNAPE!

James! Don't! McGonagall will eat you!

Pah! Worst I'll get is a week of detention.

_It's your own head you're putting on a platter._

…Why would James put his head on a platter?

_Figure of speech, Petey._

**PRONGS! HOLD YOUR FIRE!! SPROUT ALERT!**

Crap, I already fired!

_Down goes Snape, up goes Sprout's and Lily's heads, to detention we go!_

…

…

_James, did you seriously just ask Lily out?_

**Yes he did, and judging by the fact that he's ready to cry, I think that Evans turned him down…again. **

I don't get why she won't just go on ONE date!

_Let's think about this for a second, James…_

I mean, seriously! What have I done?

**Even I have to say WOW to that one, Prongs.**

I WILL get her to go out with me one of these days!

_That sounds somewhat creepy, James._

* * *

I'm really trying to get more of Lily into the story! She'll come up more in a few chapters.

Updates are going to slow down a bit. I'm juggling a new school, pink eye, and several clubs right now, so I don't have a heck of a lot of free time. I'll try to keep updating twice a week though.

Compliments? Insults? Comments? Review! I'll give you e-galleons for any of them!

Things you'd like to see in the story? Shoot me a PM and I'll try to work them in!


	46. Chapter 46

Oh my gosh! I'm soooooo ridiculously SORRY!! I didn't get a chance to update for about a week and then the last couple of days my internet has been acting up and wouldn't let me log in! Do not fear, my internet provider has suffered my displeasure. I should not have this problem again!

* * *

_**FORTY SIX- more weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

**Guess who crashed the party at the Thress's last night?**

Marie Thress had a party and didn't invite me? I'm rather offeneded.

You wouldn't have been able to go either way!

I still would like to have been invited!

**Be thankful you weren't. **

Why?

**I said GUESS who CRASHED the party!**

_Crashed here meaning killed three of the guests?_

**How'd you know?!**

_I have my own connections._

**Well fine, but can you tell me what symbol was over the house?**

_Voldemort's._

…**Another point to you… But can you tell me who actually crashed the party?**

Isn't it obvious? It was Riddle/Voldemort!

**WRONG!**

What? A copycat?

_No, a follower._

-gasp- NO!

**But what was that follower's name?**

_Bellatrix Black._

**AH HA! WRONG! It was Bellatrix LeSTRANGE!**

_They're the same person, Horace!_

How do we know it was the little b… blackheart?

Were you intending on writing something other than 'blackheart', Pomona?

Now why would I do that?

Should I list the reasons in alphabetical order?

_That would require you organizing something._

_We know it was Bellatrix because there were more than three people at the party, Pomona!_

Then why were only three of them killed? I mean, Miss Black –

**You all say I'm thick! Her last name is LeStrange, as of… a while ago.**

_Shut up, Horace._

You were saying, Pomona?

Yes, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted –

**Hey!**

See? He did it again!

_Pomona…_

Alright! Why were only three of the guests killed? Mrs. LeSTRANGE has never been one to have a lot of self control. Wouldn't she just continue on her rampage?

_The aurors think that she targeted the three that she killed as some sort of warning on the behalf of 'her master'… uck. Why would anyone volunteer themselves to become a slave?_

How do we know that he's being referred to as 'master' now?

_Maybe the fact that when she disapparated laughing like a maniac she yelled, 'You should never upset my master'?_

So… the deceased somehow upset Voldemort?

_How'd you work that one out?_

Well you failed to mention it when you were telling us about everything else…

_Don't look at me, Horace started the guessing game!_

**Did not!**

_Please! Just flip back in your notebook and you can see who started it!_

…**so?**

_Point in my favor!_

'**Point in my favor,' meh meh meh meh meh!**

_Well that's mature._

No more mature than you're acting.

_That doesn't mean much coming from you…_

Hey! Back to the crisis at hand, are the Thress's alright?

_Yes. Surprising as it seems, they weren't the targets._

I believe the real question here is how did Bellatrix know where to find her victims?

**That is a good question…**

A scary one too… Do you think that it's a spy or that Blackheart was stalking her victims?

_She couldn't have been stalking them all; they all lived and worked at different places…_

Lovely, now we can't trust someone, and we don't know who that someone is!

I believe it's safe to assume that that someone was at the Thress's party.

_If I may butt in, it's possible that the victim's were being stalked. We know that Bellatix can't be Voldemort's only follower; she was most likely being assisted by her newfound friends._

_I'd like to debate her definition of 'friends'. _

Request for debate denied, seeing as the opposing side isn't present and I doubt we'll see her anytime soon. Riddle was able to disappear off the map for over a decade; it will not be easy trying to get to those he has let into his group.

Poor Alastor! Think of the workload he'll have as Head of the Department!

_I'd really rather not._

**Well, with all these low notes buzzing around in my head, I'm off to bed. Hey! That rhymed!**

_Good night, Horace!_

**Alright, alright! I'm going!**

I shouldn't have been talking in the first place; now I won't get to sleep at all! I have all these essays to go through! –sigh- I hope you all sleep well.

_Ah. Patrol. I really hate the midnight shift._

_You drew the short straw._

_Yes, lucky me._

You aren't really acting like yourself, Minerva.

_How so, Dumbledore?_

Three innocent people were killed and you made the conversation seem so normal we might have been discussing when to have the next Quidditch match.

_I see your point…_

Care to elaborate?

…

_I don't know what frightens me more; the fact that innocent people are being killed by a madman or the fact that I'm beginning to grow numb to it._

* * *

Ok, I'm sorry to you reviewers from last chapter! If I were to answer all your reviews it would delay my updating another day! I have added 30 e-galleons to your account though! Thank you all so much!

As penence for the late update and the not responding to reviews, I have decided to give reviewers 50 e-galleons this chapter! That's right, FIFTY!

Please review! Seriously, I will need some cheering up! My new school is crazy hard-core. Insanity, I tell you!


	47. Chapter 47

OH MY GOSH!! I FINALLY UPDATED!! I IS SO VERY SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!!

* * *

_**Forty seven- next day; lunch**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

I spy with my little eye something in black robes!

**Congratulations, James! You've just described everyone in the Great Hall!**

This something is a Gryffindor doomed to become a Prefect next year!

**REMUS! You're back already? **

Yeah, normally you don't come back until after classes.

**Rather convenient, no?**

_Ha ha. I managed to sneak out of the hospital wing early. _

**Remus disobeying the rules?**

Call the 'Prophet'!!

_Ha ha ha. So what'd I miss in the Notebook?_

We didn't look last night; figured it was no fun without you telling us we should close it and go to bed.

_How considerate. _

**Indeed!**

Did you see the 'Prophet' while you were awaiting discharge, Moony?

_Quit calling me 'Moony'! And no, I didn't. Why, what happened?_

**Another attack from our friendly Dark Lord!**

_Great. What'd he do this time?_

Ah, he didn't actually perform the attack.

_What? You're confusing me!_

**Mission of the day: Accomplished!**

_Glad to hear it. What do you mean, James?_

You know how Voldie has been recruiting?

_Ohhh, it was one of his followers?_

Yup.

_Do we have a name?_

**None other than dear old Trixie! She killed three party guests last night. See? I told you all she'd skip off to help him without a second thought. **

_Oh no! Sirius, this could cause serious problems!_

**Ya think?**

_No, I mean people from the Ministry might want to talk to you about her!_

**Really? Well to talk to me they'd have to get through Dumbledore and Minnie first. **

Not if the Ministry workers have direct permission from your parents! I saw it in a book I was reading in History yesterday!

_Good job, Pete. _

**I'm still not worried. My parents are just going to tell the Ministry people to buzz off… only in a much ruder fashion. Even if they did answer questions, they wouldn't trust me to. They know I'd tell the truth!**

Who knows, Padfoot! They might send someone here to ask you questions to have a reason to send you a howler!

**Oh, there's a valid point… hmmmm…**

STOP! USING! BIG! WORDS!

**What, valid?**

YES!

**That's not a big word! It only has 5 letters!**

But I don't know what it means!

**Look it up!**

Well, if your FAVORITE cousin tries to kill you this summer, feel free to pack up and stay with me!

**I'd love to, but my mum might have Kreacher tail me. Gosh that thing creeps me out!**

Eck. I agree. I mean, Kreacher is so ugly and gross looking and mean! I'm used to Jacque! He's so normal looking!

**That's because he cares about the way he presents himself. Bloody French elf. **

Hey! Don't insult the French!

**Watch me! **

_**-here Sirius shouts an insult about the French-**_

You realize that we're in the Great Hall, right, Sirius?

**Yeah! The place where the whole school, staff included, congregates to eat!**

_It's also the place where McGonagall is._

Who is currently staring us down… whoopsies! She's on the move!

**So are we! Let's move, boys! **

_I haven't finished eating yet!_

**GET UP, GRYFFINDOR! The enemy is almost upon us!**

_One of these days, I swear, I will eat you!_

**How about you just bite me so I can become a werewolf?**

Let's MOVE!!

**Right! Screw orderly fashion! RUN!!**

* * *

_**Super-secret-hiding-place-of-super-secretness**_

Think she'll find us?

**How could she find us in out Super-secret-hiding-place-of-super-secretness?**

_I really don't think we're that hard to find._

**Shut up, Moony!**

_Seriously, we're under our beds!_

**I said, shut up, Moony!**

_I have shut up! I'm not making any noise, am I?_

**All who vote that we chuck Remus out into the Common Room, say 'I'!**

**I!**

Sorry, I like Remus too much! We can't let him be eaten by McGonagall!

**You said 'I'! I'm counting that as a vote!**

_Remus is going to eat Sirius if he doesn't leave me alone!_

**Dang it! Why did you have to find a way around saying 'I'?**

_Because Remus is smarter than you!_

**Hey! You are not!**

_Am too!_

**Are not!**

_Am too!_

**NO YOU ARE NOT!**

_YES I AM!_

**BAM! I win! You said 'I'! That means that you voted for your eviction from the room and that I'm smarter than you!**

STOP WITH THE BIG WORDS, SIRIUS!

**What, eviction?**

Yeah.

**K, sorry. **

_If you're smarter than I am, Sirius, why do I have a higher grade average than you?_

**Because studying and getting good grades is over rated.**

That and he wants to make his parents angry by not getting good grades!

**Yup!**

…why is our door handle moving?

**Because McGonagall is probably outside trying to get in to tell us how long we're in detention.**

_We? You're the one that shouted about the French in the Great Hall!_

**But she'll assume that you all dared me to. **

Hey, since McGonagall is outside the door, why don't we stop sliding the paper across the floor?

_**-As James slides the paper across the floor to Sirius, a heeled boot steps on it-**_

* * *

Minerva bent down and picked up the paper she had stepped on, knowing that the writers were under their beds, but ignored them for now as she leaned against a bed post to begin reading.

* * *

Remus quickly used sign language to communicate with James under the bed, '_Didn't we talk about the Notebook at the beginning of that page?'_

James rubbed his chin thoughtfully under his own bed and then signed back to Remus, _'I put a charm on all our paper to edit our talking about the Notebook.'_

'_So what's it going to say instead?'_

'_I don't know! It might say that you asked if we worked on our notes.'_

'_I hope your charm worked because if it didn't we're all going to die.'_

* * *

Minerva finished reading the paper and had to keep herself from chuckling at her students' way of communication.

"Potter!" she barked, "Black! Lupin! Pettigrew! Get out from under your beds!"

Potter was the first to oblige, followed by Black, and then Lupin. Pettigrew (as usual) was the last to obey the command.

"I told you she'd find your Super-secret-hiding-place-of-super-secretness, Sirius!" Lupin said exasperatedly.

"Well she didn't know what it was called until you said it!" Black snapped back.

"Super-secret-hiding-place-of-super-secretness?" Minerva repeated slowly.

"See? She knows now!" Black said. He then threw his hands up in the air, as if Minerva had pointed her wand at him. "If this is about the dung bomb in Filch's office, James dared me!"

"Hey! You dared me to dare you!" Potter protested.

Minerva raised an eyebrow.

"But that's… not what you came here for!" Black said with a smile, "How can we assist our Transfiguration Professor today?"

"Well, we can start with the beginning of this note you were passing during lunch," Minerva said while looking at the paper to find the exact line she wanted. " 'What'd I miss in the Notebook last night?' 'We didn't look at it last night; figured it was no fun without you telling us to close it and go to bed.' What Notebook is this?"

"I thought you said you fixed that, James!" Lupin said angrily while glaring at his friend across the room.

"Yeah, well, I lied, didn't I?" Potter replied calmly with a shrug.

"Watch it, Prongs. Moony might eat you!" Black commented humorously.

"No, I'm saving that one for you, Sirius! I'll bite James." The corners of Lupin's mouth twitched upward.

"What! No fair! Prongs gets to be bitten? I'm better suited than him! I mean, seriously, I'm PADFOOT, he's PRONGS!"

"Yeah, come on, Moony! Sirius could use a new way to get back at Regulus!" Potter cut in.

"Hey! Yeah! I hadn't thought of that before!" Black said excitedly, "Bite me, Moony!!"

"Enough!" Minerva snapped.

Potter threw his hands up into the air as well. "Sorry. What was the question?"

Minerva rolled her eyes. "What notebook were you referring to at the beginning of your note?"

The boys all exchanged looks, then Potter spoke again. "It's a notebook we found in our third year by some former pranksters. Fabian and Gideon Prewett, they're really quite entertaining."

Minerva's heart skipped a beat, though she tried to hide it. Potter was lying. They were talking about a different notebook during lunch, but she decided it was best to play their game. Before she could say anything, Black caught on and tried to assist his friend.

"Fabian and Gideon! They've given me so many ideas to annoy Regulus. Well, I can't use all of them, seeing as they had a sister and not a brother… Their sister sounds pretty amusing though. How do you get two abstract names like Fabian and Gideon for the boys, and then have mercy on the girl and giver her a normal name like Molly?"

It seemed like Lupin couldn't help but add a comment of his own, "I think the best is when they start complaining about the Weasly kid. What's his name? Arthur?"

"Yeah! I got some good insults for Regulus from them ragging on Arthur. Poor bloke."

Maybe she was just over reacting. They all wouldn't be able to go with Potter's story so flawlessly if they were indeed talking about the notebook Minerva had thought they were talking about at lunch. But rather safe than sorry, she asked, "Give me that notebook. You don't need anymore prank ideas, and I'm sure Fabian and Gideon would like their notebook back."

"You know them?" Black asked in awe.

"Yes, I do. They frequently visited their sister, who was in her seventh year my first year of teaching."

"No way!" Potter exclaimed, "Can we meet them? Can we? Can we? Can we?"

"No!" Minerva responded immediately, "As I said, you don't need anymore joke inspirations! Now hand over that book!"

Potter sighed and went over to his trunk, throwing the unwanted contents behind him, adding to the mass of random items on the floor of the room. He finally found what he wanted, and looking like he might want to cry, he handed the notebook over.

Minerva flipped through the notebook quickly to make sure that it was real, then closed it and put it into her pocket, thoroughly relieved it wasn't THE notebook.

She returned her attention to the note in her hand. "As for sneaking out of the Hospital wing early, Mr. Lupin, you're lucky Madam Pomfery has several other patients. Next time you leave early and without permission, I will not hesitate to help her find you, especially now that I know where your Super-secret-hiding-place-of -secretness is." Minerva refrained from smiling with great difficulty.

"I still say it's Moony's fault she knows," Black muttered.

Lupin only rolled his eyes.

"Mr. Black!"

Black raised his hands higher in the air. "I'm innocent! I swear!"

"Why are you _trying_ to upset your family?"

"Well they started it!" Black snapped back childishly.

"I want you to be the bigger person and end it! Can you do that?" Minerva already knew the answer, but asked for effect.

"Do I have to answer honestly?"

"No, I want you to lie to me," Minerva said sarcastically.

"Alright then!" Black said happily, obviously not taking note of the sarcasm, "Yes, I will stop upsetting my family on purpose, no matter how many times Mum sends Kreacher after me with a kitchen knife, no matter how many names Dad calls me, and no matter how many times Regulus breaks into my room while I'm sleeping to try to smother me with my pillow!" He thought for another second, then smiled widely and nodded his head. Minerva wasn't sure if Black was lying or not, but her stomach twisted uncomfortably either way.

"I thought Kreacher came after you with a pan?" Potter asked.

"On occasion… like my birthday. It's usually a knife though."

Minerva ground her teeth for a moment and fought the urge to leave then and there to go start a yelling match with the Blacks.

"As for shouting insults about the French and the country that they come from,"

"Oh, hold on! I want to guess on this one!" Black waved his hands. "Three days!"

"Three?" Potter said disbelievingly, "Yeah right! It'll be at least five!"

"Yeah, five galleons when you lose the bet!"

"Don't leave me out of this one!" Lupin said, "I bet four days."

"Wormtail, are you in or out?"

"I-I lost my money pouch," Pettigrew said shyly.

"Again?" Remus said with a touch of anger, "We spent two hours finding it last time!"

Pettigrew just looked more sheepish, if that was possible.

"Alright, all bets are in. How many days, Professor?" Black crossed his fingers with his hands still in the air.

"I'm afraid your bet was moot-"

"WHY IS EVERYONE USING WORDS THAT I DON'T KNOW?" Pettigrew suddenly exclaimed, taking Minerva aback.

"Uhhh… you'll have to excuse Wormy over there, Professor. He's a bit on edge…" Black said for his friend who suddenly dashed out of the room.

Minerva shook her head before continuing. "As I was saying, your bet was pointless. It's two days."

All three boys sighed angrily. "That's another fifteen to the pot!" Potter fumed.

Minerva raised her eyebrows in confusion as Potter, Black, and Lupin dug into their pockets and each took out five galleons which they threw into a clear vase in the corner of their room. Despite the vase being rather large, it was half full with galleons, sickles, and knuts.

"That's the result of all the bets we've all lost this year so far," Black explained.

"Yeah, at the beginning of the year we bet which house would win the Cup, and whoever wins that bet gets the pot at the end of the year," Potter offered.

"I bet on Ravenclaw," Lupin said wisely.

"Hufflepuff!" Potter said proudly.

"I bet on Slytherin."

Minerva looked at Black oddly.

"Well this way if Slytherin wins, when Regulus starts bragging I can show him the pot and tell him that I benefitted from it too. It's a surefire way to shut him up! Smart, huh?"

Minerva closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again and asking, "And Mr. Pettigrew bet on Gryffindor?"

"Heck no! Even Petey isn't that thick!" Potter laughed a bit. "With all the points that we lost, it'll be a miracle if we come in third!"

Minerva glared at him for a moment. "As for 'dear old Trixie', I'm assuming your referring to your cousin, Mr. Black?"

Black did something unexpected. The smile melted off his face and he spat on the floor to his side. "She is definitely not MY cousin. I refuse to think of her as a family member. Even if I still did, I wouldn't be seeing her much. She'll be too busy slaving away at what she does best, acts of cruelty" He muttered another sentence that Minerva couldn't understand.

"You should take comfort in the fact that no one is going to come here searching for information on Mrs. LeStrange.

"You're going to be late for classes if you don't get going," Minerva walked towards the door, but it hadn't closed before she heard a scary statement from Black.

"I really hope Bellatrix screws up and he kills her very, very slowly."

On her way out of the common room, Minerva saw Pettigrew in a chair by the fire muttering to himself and looking extraordinarily confused. She felt rather confused herself, and didn't want to plunge herself deeper into darkness by trying to find out what was wrong with Pettigrew. She left the common room and hurried to her office to think about all the information she had received that she almost wished she hadn't. Eventually, she came to the conclusion that there was no point focusing on what couldn't be fixed and decided to try to amuse herself with the boys' other banter.

* * *

Soooooo,whadja think? Huh? huh? Tell me! Review! Please? Please? Please?

I'm so sorry it took me so long to update! My teachers all decided that they would make their students' lives hell... soo... yeah. Not fun.

I'm also beginning to run low on ideas -bites nails- so if you have ideas, send me a PM and I'll consider it! Seriously, I have next to no idea about what I'm going to do for sixth and seventh year! Help me keep this story going!

Now is the time to review! )


	48. Chapter 48

I'm sorry, updating really has fallen out of my top priorities. I'll keep trying though, I promise!

Some people were confused about the whole James giving McGonagall a notebook thing. So I shall clear that up now. James did not give McGonagall THE Notebook. He gave her a different notebook the boys found in their third year made by Gideon and Fabian Prewett, former pranksters of Hogwarts. The Marauders still have the Teachers' Notebook.

* * *

_**FORTY EIGHT a few weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

Minerva, you don't mind if I kill your Fourth Year boys, do you?

_That depends on what they did._

I don't know what they did yet, but they keep looking at me and smiling… they're most definitely up to something…

_I think they're just trying to make us nervous; they were doing the same thing in Charms._

_Seeing as Christmas Break just ended, the Idiots are bound to try out all the things they gave each other._

I don't think Mr. Lupin or Pettigrew would give anything to their friends we should worry about…

_YOU don't have to worry about anything to do with them; shut up and organize your office!_

I don't want to!

_Do it anyway!_

Oh no… they all went HOME for Christmas!

…_I thought we agreed that was a good thing…_

_Wrong!_

They had the opportunity to go shop elsewhere than Zonko's!

_Oh dear… that is a problem!_

Did you know that Phoenixes don't like grapes?

_Did you know that Phoenixes like to incinerate things that are out of place?_

If that was so, Fawkes would have burned my whole office long ago! 

Hey! Fawkes! GET AWAY FROM MY TEA TABLE!!

_I told you._

Your Gryffindors are outside… quick! We need a reason to get them back in!

_NO! You can see them when they're outside._

True… What the…? They're reading…

_Well that's abnormal… _

And taking notes…

_Perhaps they're just working on an essay?_

_Wishful thinking. If they were working on an essay they'd be in the library trying to push Pince to the edge of her sanity._

…I didn't know they were suicidal… 

_There's quite a lot you don't know._

I never said that I do know everything…

_Yet you frequently imply that you do._

What? No I don't!

Ohhhh, yes you do!

Since when?

_Since you became Headmaster, probably._

See? You don't even know!

**She doesn't know, but her sources do!**

…_Horace, what the heck?_

**Seeeeee? She doesn't deny that she has sources! She's a source herself! Someone outside of Hogwarts knows all about what's going on INSIDE Hogwarts!**

_Go to sleep, Horace. _

**Why? So you can kill me once my guard is down? NO WAY!**

_I don't need your guard to be down to kill you._

**Ah! She did it again! She threatened me!**

_It's not me you should be worried about._

…

You weren't supposed to blow my cover, Minerva!

**THEY'RE IN IT TOGETHER!! THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE SCHOOL, AND FROM THERE WILL OPRESS BRITAIN AS WE KNOW IT!!**

_No, Riddle's already doing that for us._

**You're working for him! You were assigned here! I warned you, Dumbledore!**

_Merlin's beard, Horace! GO TAKE A NAP! Sleep off all that alcohol in your system!_

**It's not alcohol! It's my latest potion! You see, after Aberforth said he couldn't sell me anything anymore because he was told not to, (though I think he was threatened, because Abe isn't the kind of person to listen to someone else) I had to come up with my own concoction!**

Aberforth claims he was threatened?

**Well he didn't say it, but I think he was.**

Minerva….

_What?_

You didn't, did you?

_Didn't what?_

You did, didn't you?

_Threaten Aberforth? Only when he started using 'frowned upon' language. _

WHY did you do that?

_He was being extraordinarily rude and I wasn't about to tolerate it. He's lucky I haven't reported him for that goat he's got locked in the backroom. _

….But WHHHYYY??

_Didn't I already answer that?_

Horace, did you say you came up with your own concoction?

**That I did!**

Really? Interesting. Where is it?

**Well it's where I keep everything else I want to keep hidden!**

Which is where?

**Up the chimney!**

Thanks.

POPPPPYYYY!!

**NO! HEY! YOU TRICKED ME!!**

It's not like you made it difficult! Now if you'll excuse me, I have someone to get in trouble!

**Now I have to move everything!!**

_Awwe. Poor Horace. _

**Indeed!**

Minerva, you didn't threaten anyone else, did you?

_No, I didn't. No one else annoyed me enough. _

Reviewers will get a giant lolly-pop! Yeah, lolly-pops! Like... the big swirly colorful kind!

Thank you all so much for being patient with me and my slow reviewing. I really am sorry about it, but school and all my geeky extra curriculars come first.

I've said it before and haven't gotten too much response, so here it goes again! If you have any ideas for this story or something you'd like to see happen, please, PLEASE let me know in a Personal Message. I swear I'll put it into serious consideration.

Get excited, Lily guest stars in the next chapter!

REVIEW!!


	49. Chapter 49

OMG!! I'm really, truly sorry for keeping you all waiting. Fanfiction is rapidly becoming a bottom list priority. School does that. This is kind of a continuation(?) of the last chapter... so... yeah.

I GIVE YOU LILY EVANS!!

* * *

_**Forty-nine - Potions- later that same day**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

_**Lily**_

* * *

I worry about the professors. I really do.

**I prefer to laugh about them rather than worry. Laughing is much more fun.**

_I prefer to worry about you two._

HEY! I got a whacky idea!

_Uh oh…_

What do you say we try to beat Pomfery to Slughorn's chimney?

_Won't work. One: we'd have to get out of class. Two: we'd have to figure out how to get into Slughorn's private quarters. Three: There is absolutely no way we would be able to pull it off without getting caught._

_**I don't know what you all are talking about, but don't do it!**_

**Evans! How nice of you to join us!**

Hey! You want to join me for Hogsmeade?

_**No, Potter!! Why don't you be a good boy and stick your head in your cauldron?**_

…But then how would I take you out?

_**Hopeless case.**_

**You realize what you've done, Evans, Remus?**

_Oh God no…_

_**What…?**_

_We have accidently challenged them._

_**Oh crap…**_

**Oh crap is right, Evans! James, what's the trigger for Slughorn's classroom?**

…**James….**

**Prongs? **

_MERLIN'S BEARD! JAMES! GET YOUR HEAD AWAY FROM YOUR CAULDRON!_

But I was told to put my head INTO my cauldron…

_**Potter, I was kidding! Geez, I'm starting to think you're even dumber than Parkinson.**_

…**Is that even possible?**

_Yeah, you could be Goyle!_

Or Crabbe!

…**Point.**

Wait… Evans, are you saying that you think I'm intelligent?

_**No…**_

But you said that you're STARTING to think that I'm dumber than Prakinson, which means that you think that I have some level of intelligence! Ah! I'm touched.

_**-rolls eyes- Why did I even start writing in the first place?**_

…**Because you wanted to be nosy and try to be the teacher's hero by stopping us… which you are being very unsuccessful about.**

**Now, James! How did we rig Slughorn's classroom?**

I think we put a dung bomb in his drawer…. But for all we know he's already set that off!

**Well let's find out!**

_**-James waves his wand and whispers- **_

_**-the entire room suddenly smells super bad-**_

* * *

_**In the Boy's Dorm after being let out of potions early**_

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

_How the heck did you pull that off?_

I don't know, but it was awesome!

_You know McGonagall is going to hunt you down and slit your throat, right?_

**But that's what we have YOU for, Remus!**

…_I don't follow…_

**You is a WEREWOLF, Moony! Undefeatable!**

_This werewolf is going to eat you if you don't get rid of that stuff from Slughorn's chimney._

**Why don't you just bite me and leave it at that?**

Why would we get rid of all the stuff before we investigate?

_Maybe because all the stuff from the chimney is evidence against us?_

**Where's your sense of fun, Remus?**

_It must have left when McGonagall started turning the door handle. _

* * *

"_We're doomed!_" was the thought running through Remus's head as McGonagall's heeled boot stepped through the doorway.

James and Sirius threw all of Slughorn's things into a massive pile of clothing in the corner of the room and then quickly flopped down onto their respective beds and grabbed rubber bands out of their night stands to start shooting at each other.

Remus decided to go hide in the bathroom, but Peter had beaten him to it. The door was locked. By the time he had come up with the brilliant idea to go pretend to read, McGonagall was already in the room and had been hit by a wayward rubber band, adding to her anger.

After confiscating the rubber bands, McGonagall snarled, "Why?"

"Why what, Professor?" Sirius said innocently, as if the Transfiguration Mistress didn't already know.

"I am not in the mood for your fake innocence, Black! Why did you decide to end class early?"

"Well, James was pretty angry. You see, he asked Ev-"

Sirius was cut off by a book nearly hitting him in the head thrown from the other side of the room.

Remus almost collapsed when he saw the gold on the edge of the pages of the thrown book and really hoped that McGonagall wouldn't recognize it from the time she had caught them with it a while back.

However, the Marauders were lucky. McGonagall was too frustrated to be in their presence. "That's a week of detention!" she snapped.

As she was about to leave, she turned around and snapped some more, "And clean up this dorm before this mess spreads to the rest of Gryffindor Tower!" The door closed and less than two seconds later, James flung himself across the room and locked it.

Peter poked his head out of the bathroom. "Is she gone?" he whispered.

"SHE KNOWS!" Sirius exclaimed, "There's no way she'd be that angry over us canceling class; we've done it before! She KNOWS that we have Slughorn's things!"

"No way! If she knew we had Slughorn's stuff she would have dissected this entire room until she found it," James retaliated.

"She doesn't have any proof that we do have it," Remus refuted, feeling his stomach drop. "We need to get rid of that stuff, pronto!"

"Alright, alright." Sirius removed a few bricks in the wall to reveal a cabinet which he threw open. "The secret cache! Alright, let's put away Sluggy's stuff!"

"What else do we have up there?" James asked as he started to hand Sirius their loot.

"Uhh… Sprout's hat that we took in second year, McGonagall's secret Ginger Newt stash that she still thinks is in her hiding place, Slughorn's secret stash of Crystalized Pineapple that McGonagall seems to have stolen and stashed away with her Newts, Madam Hooch's old pair of quidditch gloves that I'm going to wear when I become Beater next year just to see if she'll notice, a pair of Dumbledore's socks,"

"Why do we have a pair of Dumbledore's socks?" Remus cut in.

"It was the only thing I was able to snatch before we ran out of time last year!" James said defensively.

"Whatever. Let's put Slughorn's stuff away and go down to dinner!"

"FOOD!" Sirius screamed and took off.

Remus looked over at the wall with the secret cabinet. All of Slughorn's things had been put away and the bricks were back in place. "…How'd he do that?"

"It's amazing what Sirius can do when he knows that he gets to eat as soon as he does it…" James said, sounding almost as awed as Remus felt.

"So… if he does anything for food, can I get him to do his homework with a bit of bribery?"

"Probably not… Unless the House Elves made it."

"Where'd Petey go?"

"He probably left with Sirius," James said without concern.

"Well, shall we join them and be glared at by all our lovely professors?" Remus pretended to be excited,

"Did you even have to ask?" James ran out of the room half a second later, quickly followed by Remus.

* * *

Now you must tell me if that made up for the more-than-two-weeks-of-silence-from-my-end.

I am really sorry that I didn't respond to reviews, but I hardly had time to put this chapter up! I did read all of them and want to thank you very much! My gringotts goblin has put 50 e-galleons and a big rainbow swirly lollipop into your account!

Please review! Make my day better. Give me a reason to look FORWARD to checking my email! Pwwweeeaaase?!


	50. Chapter 50

_**Fifty- weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Hello?

_Since when does a notebook conversation start with an actual greeting?_

Is anyone else here?

_I'm not worth talking to?_

It's not that. This is just something that needs to be kept as quite as is humanly possible!

_Ah, you're making sure Pomona isn't here?_

You'd be correct…

_Well you'd better get to your point quickly. Her sixth sense will kick in soon and she'll open her book._

Alright, alright. Remember how I started writing to Arabella Figg a while ago?

_Yes… to "chat" if I remember correctly._

I lied.

_I knew it!_

And there's no need to ask you if you remember the whole Voldemort issue.

_Albus, point! I have a class in fifteen minutes!_

I'm not happy with the little effort the Ministry is putting into finding Voldemort.

_You aren't the only one._

I've finally decided to do something about it though. Well… I actually decided a long time ago but it's been rather hard to quietly get support and –

_POINT!_

I've started a group to be the counter-attack of Voldemort.

_Fantastic! Count me in._

You realize what you're committing to?

_Possible death, arrest, being held captive, keeping secrets, oh yeah. I'm aware._

I knew I could count on you!

_Course you did. That wasn't all you wanted to talk about though. You could've waited until after classes._

Yes, I could have. But I want to see Alastor after classes…

_And you want me to owl him because you doing so would be odd?_

Correct!

_Oh, goody. My first assignment is that of a messenger._

Would you rather go undercover?

_Oh no, messenger is fine._

That's what I thought.

_I'll owl Alastor after this class. _

Why not during, once you have them started?

_I have the fourth year Gryffindors now, that's why._

_Oh! Hey! Real quick, what is the name of the organization I belong to now?_

I'm not sure.

_Well that's a big boost. _

Your sarcasm is not appreciated.

_When has it ever been? _

* * *

_**Transfiguration**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

_**Lily**_

* * *

No way! I want to join!

_We aren't about to ask if we can!_

**I'm asking the day of graduation… if I can wait that long. There's no way I'm going to pass up this opportunity to make my parents angry and possibly bring in Bellatrix!**

But joining would be so dangerous!

**Aye, it would be! But since when has a Gryffindor not stood up to a challenge?**

_**Black… why are you speaking with a Scottish accent?**_

**Because it's fun, lassie! Now what are you doing in our notes again?**

_**Trying to get a psychological profile on you.**_

WHY DOES EVERYONE FEEL THE NEED TO USE BIG WORDS?

… _**What do you consider to be a 'big word' Pettigrew?**_

_You won't get an answer out of him right now… he's too busy slamming his head on his desk… which he really should stop doing considering McGonagall is glaring at him…_

No, give it five more slams and he'll pass out.

…_**What kind of friends are you?**_

Go out with me and I can show you!

_**Keep dreaming, Potter!**_

Is that a yes?

_**What do you think?**_

Yes?

_**I said 'keep dreaming', as in NO!**_

**Aw, Evans, you're crushing his soul!**

_**If I'm lucky his soul will just dissipate and he'll leave me alone.**_

**Now you can't possibly mean that!**

_**Yes I can.**_

Moony, why did you rip off the top of the page?

…and burn it?

_Because McGonagall is glaring at us now that Petey is passed out._

_**Then why are you still writing?**_

**Why are YOU still writing?**

…_**touché!**_

Should we wake Pete up so he can work on the spell we were assigned?

**He probably wouldn't be able to get it down anyway. **

…_**but this spell was ridiculously easy…**_

**Petey doesn't see things as easy.**

He sees things as hard, really hard, ridiculously hard, and impossible.

_**That's sad! Why don't you help him?**_

_We gave up after second year. We still try, but we normally just make things worse because we get so frustrated._

_**McGonagall has been staring at us pass this paper for the past ten minutes… why hasn't she taken it?**_

**She's waiting for the opportune moment.**

I think she secretly enjoys taking our notes.

…_**Potter, do I want to hear your reasoning behind that?**_

Hmmm… I don't know… Let's find out!

_**What have I done to deserve this?**_

**You were born with two X chromosomes, therefore making you extraordinarily curious. **

…_**You're a pureblood – **_

**Don't remind me.**

…_**.ok… As I was saying, you were raised with a wizarding family! Why do you know that fact?**_

_Sirius has taken to reading Muggle books over the summer simply because it irritates his parents._

**It's also really fun to chase Regulus around the house with one… Oh, the way he screams! "GET THAT MUGGLE FILTH AWAY FROM ME!!" It gives me such great satisfaction that I know how to annoy him to no end.**

Didn't your mum send Kreacher after you the last time that happened?

**Yup. He stopped after he almost 'ran into' his knife though.**

_**You're elf chased you around with a knife?**_

**It wasn't the first time.**

_**Jeez, I thought living with Petunia was bad!**_

Who is Petunia?

_**My sister; She's pretty much hated me since I left… first year…**_

Awe! How could anyone hate YOU, Lily?

_**Potter, quit sucking up. I still say NO!! Capital N, capital O, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point.**_

…_**Puppy dog eyes don't work either. **_

**I have superb puppy dog eyes!**

HA! I wonder WHY that would be, Padfoot?

**I don't know, Prongs! –huge grin-**

Yeah, puppy dog eyes aren't really my thing, I guess. More like… Bambi eyes!

_**You've seen that movie?**_

Yeah, Sirius brought it to my house last summer and my parents managed to get the tape to work.

**Oh yeah! You do bear more resemblance to a deer than a dog!**

_**Why do you have Disney movies, Black?**_

**Two reasons. One: To annoy Mrs. Black. Two: to annoy Mr. Black.**

… **Well, I guess I could go on to say to annoy all the Blacks… **

Has Trixie said anything about your 'strange habits'?

**Yeah, she said that she's going to kill me when I saw her over Christmas.**

_**Who is Trixie and why would she want to kill you over 'strange habits'?**_

**Trixie, also known as Bellatrix, is the niece of Mrs. Walburga Black, and wife of … Rudogusajhsgtnretg something or other LeStrange.**

_**BELLATRIX LeSTRANGE IS YOUR COUSIN??**_

**Biologically… though I choose to ignore it. **

_**AND YOU SAW HER TWO MONTHS AGO?!**_

… … **Really? Was Christmas two months ago? I thought it was a month from now…**

Ooooh, delayed reaction! Minus two points, Sirius!

**Dang.**

_**YOU SAW A WANTED CRIMINAL TWO MONTHS AGO AND DIDN'T CALL THE MINISTRY?!**_

**Have you ever tried sending an owl while surrounded by people who are watching your every move, waiting for you to do something wrong just to have an excuse to scream at you? There's no chance to send an owl. I mean, I can put up with Mrs. Black screaming, but all of the Blacks… I mean, Blacks are known for having rather good lungs. **

Yeah! Just ask Dumbledore!

_Or McGonagall, if you really needed too. _

I actually think McGonagall could give your mum a run for her money, Sirius.

…**JAMES!! Why did you say that? Now I want them to have a yelling match, just so I can see who goes hoarse first!**

_**When have you heard McGonagall scream? We've all heard her raise her voice, but SCREAM?**_

Not all of us have. I did. In first year. I remember that day well because –

What did you elbow me for, Remus?

_What do you think, James?_

…WHOAH! No way I almost did that!

**Apparently there is a way, because you totally almost did!**

_**Almost did what?**_

**He almost messed up, James Style.**

_Meaning, he almost made a mess that could get us killed. _

…_**That's a little bit intense…**_

I agree! What other mistake did I make that could have gotten us killed?

**Well you could have gotten yourself killed a while ago when you tried to hit on Trixie…**

First off, I was only kidding. I thought you were exaggerating on how ridiculously short tempered he was. Second, had I known that she was going to hex me until I could hardly walk, I would have left her alone completely.

_**-raises eyebrows­-**_

It was a joke that went wrong!

_**Who would have killed you all if Potter hadn't been shut up?**_

**Oh, I don't think I want to count the number of people.**

_Actually, it'd be rather easy to figure out how many people would be after us…_

People we DEFINITELY wouldn't want on our tails.

**Uh oh… McGonagall's teacher senses kicked in… she's getting up now. **

_**I claim innocence!**_

Are you suggesting that we've done something wrong, Evans?

_**You're more than likely planning on doing something wrong and I want it known in advance that I had no involvement in it!**_

**Just because you were passing notes with us? OH MY GOSH! GUESS WHAT?**

Get to the point like… now!

**WE GOT EVANS TO BREAK A RULE!**

HEY! WE DID! WHOOT! Pay up, Remus!

_I was hoping you would have forgotten about that bet._

* * *

Professor McGonagall snatched the note out of Remus's hand as he quickly tried to hand it off to James.

"I'll speak to you _five_ after class," she said before giving Evans a disapproving look and walking back to her desk which she put the note into.

Remus delved into his pocket and pulled out the money to pay James and Sirius with and was just about to hand it to them when for the second time that day, someone grabbed the objects out of his hands.

"If you're going to bet on me, I'll be the one collecting!" Evans said angrily before shoving the money into her bag angrily and pulling out a book to read.

Sirius glared at her angrily, Remus looked to be in slight shock, and James merely shrugged before starting a thumb war with Sirius. Peter was still passed out, though the puddle of drool that began to spread across his desk suggested that he had woken up and fallen asleep.

* * *

The bell rang to end class and James, Sirius, Remus, Peter (who had a bump on his forehead), and Lily walked to their Professor's desk.

Professor McGonagall opened her top left drawer and extracted the note she had confiscated, though the Marauder's caught a glimpse of a rather familiar looking notebook before she closed the drawer and began to read.

Lily was shifting her weight from foot to foot, nervous about the punishment she knew she would be receiving. James and Sirius were continuing their thumb war, no clear winner had been proclaimed before the bell had rung. Remus was leaned against a desk reading part of his Herbology book. Peter had apparently smacked his head on his desk one too many times and seemed to be completely lost in his mind and was unconsciously swaying.

McGonagall laid the piece of paper down on her desk, signaling that she had finished reading. James and Sirius quickly agreed on a truce, Remus closed his book, Peter did his best to concentrate on what was going on, and Lily stopped shifting, though she still looked nervous.

"I will kindly ignore the first portion of this note unless it becomes a problem," McGonagall said, quickly glaring at James before returning her attention the whole group.

Sirius kicked James's foot and bowed his head to smile before bringing it back up with a straight face. James in turn stepped on Sirius's foot and managed not to smile as Sirius pursed his lips to keep from laughing.

"Why did you rip off and burn the top of the page, Lupin?"

Remus was desperately trying to think of a decent excuse, but was saved the trouble by James.

"Slip of the tongue, Professor! …actually… I guess it would be slip of the hand, considering that I was writing instead of speaking."

Professor McGonagall overrode the last half of what James said with a new question. "Black, I thought we had agreed that you would stop irritating your family on purpose?"

"Ah!" said Sirius, as if he had been anticipating the question, "If you remember correctly, Minnie, you asked me to lie to you!" Professor McGonagall raised her eyebrows in agitation and questioning and Sirius continued, "You see, you asked me to stop irritating my relatives on purpose, then I asked if I had to answer honestly, then you said, and I quote, 'No, I want you to lie to me.' So, I did what you said and lied!"

"I'm absolutely positive that you have heard of sarcasm, Mr. Black."

"I have, but I chose to discard the sarcasm at that particular moment!" Sirius smiled widely.

Deciding Sirius was a lost cause, Professor McGonagall plowed on, "Miss Evans, Bellatrix LeStrange is not your concern and you will do well to not get involved in the Black family affairs."

"Trust me, you don't want in on them anyway," Sirius commented.

Lily followed her Professor's lead and ignored Sirius. "Yes, Professor."

"As for your hopes of a yelling match, Black, one might just happen if Mrs. Black continues to owl both Professor Slughorn and myself extraordinarily… opinionated… letters. However, you are in no way to encourage her writing simply for the joy of having her come home without a voice." Professor McGonagall's lips seemed to want to twitch upward.

Sirius smiled innocently. "Of COURSE, Professor McGonagall!"

Lily couldn't help but feel slightly left out and as if she was missing something. It seemed as though Professor McGonagall wanted Mrs. Black to push her over the edge so that they COULD have a yelling match, which made absolutely no sense to Lily. McGonagall using that kind of deceit for a revenge of some sort just didn't seem like her. Which led to another pang of exclusion; why would McGonagall be so angry with Mrs. Black in the first place?

"Now to the point that really interests me most," Professor McGonagall admitted, "What information could you have written down that, if read by the wrong person, could get you four killed?"

"Information that could get us killed was a bit of an overstatement. It would actually be more like… hold on… I have to think of a good comparison for this…" James began to rub his chin thoughtfully. "It would be as if we would be in detention for the rest of our lives."

Sirius and Remus burst into laughter. Professor McGonagall quirked one eyebrow. "Might I ask what is so amusing?"

"James made an excellent comparison!" Remus gasped out.

James took a deep bow. "Thank you, thank you!"

McGonagall sighed. "I obviously won't be getting anymore details. Three days detention. Now get to your next class!"

"Yes, Professor!" they all chanted.

The five Gryffindors walked slowly through the halls, Lily looked extremely confused.

"What's wrong with you, Evans? Weren't you expecting McGonagall to blow up? Why aren't you relieved?" James asked.

"I just don't get it!" Lily said, "It was like you all had some other ESP conversation going on or something!"

"Ohhhh, us and Minnie?" Sirius laughed, "That's one of the good things about being in detention so much. You really get to talk with the teachers. More than half of our detentions have been with McGonagall."

"We know them so well that we've been able to develop a theory that each of the Professors has their own sixth sense. McGonagall's is to sense trouble among students," James continued for Sirius.

"Professor Dumbledore's is to slide out of tight spots… figuratively speaking," Sirius offered.

"Sprout's got a knack for coming into conversation or a room just at the right time," Remus added.

"Slughorn can either really lighten or darken the mood… it depends on the mood of the other people around him," Sirius said, and then chuckled. "'I told you all! She's dark! She'll kill us all in our sleep!' Ahhhh, gotta love Sluggy," Sirius proceeded to go into a dreamlike state.

"So you see, detentions really do have their advantages. We've heard quite a few things that the teachers think we haven't!" James's face broke into an extremely large grin. Lily turned to look questioningly at Remus, but he was shaking his head, smiling and chuckling. She heard a bark of laughter and turned again to see Sirius trying to stifle a laugh attack. Peter still hadn't recovered from hitting his head too many times and had missed the entire conversation.

Lily shook her head and entered the greenhouse first and got a spot as far away from the Marauders as possible. She wasn't able to concentrate the entire lesson. How would Potter, Black, and Lupin know all those things about the teachers simply from detention? And what was Black quoting?

* * *

YAY!! UPDATE!!

Review please! PWEEEAASSEEE??


	51. Chapter 51

OH MY GOSH! OVER A MONTH! I know it won't mean much, but I'm really and truly sorry! Fanfiction is pretty much at the bottom of my priority list. All I've been able to do for the most part is eat, sleep, and work. Work, more than 2/3 of the time. Craziness. I dislike it.

_**FIFTY-ONE- weeks (and I mean weeks) later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Who all is here?

_Me…_

Pomona?

Filius?

Anyone?

Whew! 

_What happened?_

Gideon and Fabian joined up!

_REALLY?!_

Yes!

_What about Molly and Arthrur?_

They said they'd love to, but they don't feel its safe, what with their children and all. They're concerned about what would happen to Bill and Charlie anything happened to them. 

_Oh, well that's reasonable. _

_Don't they have another on the way?_

I believe so… 

_Well Molly wouldn't be able to do much to help anyway then!_

Yup.

Has Alastor had any luck getting anyone from the Auror department?

_He's got a few people he's thinking about talking to, but you know Alastor. He's going to take his time to make sure that the people he chooses aren't going to crack under pressure and such. _

Well I feel rather bad for the people he'd thinking about then. He'll be trying to get them to crack about things under pressure now… 

_True… Ouch. I feel bad for them!_

However, Marlene McKinnon got back to me!

_AND?_

You'll see her at the meeting.

_FANTASTIC! _

_Oh! How could I have forgotten?_

You could have forgotten because you were so excited about progress? Now what did you forget?

_Dorcas Meadows is coming here at around seven to talk to you personally. _

Haven't you been nagging me for years about my last minute tendencies?

_Consider this payback. _

You are so lucky I don't have any other meetings tonight!

_Yeah yeah._

Why is Minerva lucky that you don't have any other meetings tonight?

Because she neglected to tell me that Alastor Moody was dropping in for a visit.

Why would Alastor be coming to visit? And why wouldn't he just tell you?

_You know Alastor, he worries about everything. He's concerned that if he started sending owls to Dumbledore that some random crook would find it suspicious and steal the letters._

…O…K…. That doesn't answer why he's coming in the first place!

I don't know why he's coming. I'll find out later though. 

…I think there's something you aren't telling me…

_Alright, you caught us._

I did?

Yup!

_Horace stole Albus's hot chocolate, and he asked me for help in getting revenge._

You didn't ask me? I think I'm going to go cry now!

Oh, don't do that. I was simply worried that you might hint to him accidently and he'd pick up on it and prepare himself. 

Would I ever leak information like that?

_Yes._

Yes.

…Fine. Well, I'm off to go water greenhouse seven.

_Night!_

Yeah…

_We really ought to get a different notebook for Order conversations._

No… I don't think that will be necessary. Soon we won't need to write anything down at all. 

_Well there's still the problem of some members not being able to perform a Patronus!_

They'll learn soon enough. We can't risk writing things down.

_Ah yes. You've taken in what Alastor said, "We can't be writing everything down! What if, while we're writing, we get killed before we can burn the note? No! The Order of the Phoenix will NOT be compromised that easily! It's Patronus Charms or nothing!"_

His paranoia has its upsides. 

_Agreed. Definitely a good thing he's on our side!_

Let's just hope he'll stay alive long enough to be of more assistance. He's at double the risk already, being Head of the Auror Department. If the Order is exposed, he'll become one of Voldemort's top five targets. 

_True, but I have every confidence he'll be around for years to come._

As I said, let us hope.

* * *

_**Boys' Dorm**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

_No way! Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadows? Do you know how ridiculously talented they are?_

Well I think I have an idea now.

**I WANT TO JOIN!!!!!**

_Patience, Padfoot. _

**HE SAID PADFOOT VOLUNTARILY!**

_Yes, I did._

YAY!

Now what was the Patronus thing they were talking about and can we learn it?

_The Patronus Charm? I don't know… it's really advanced… I could look into it… but it would take us a long time to get it down._

**Well we're going to get it down if it prepares us for the Order!**

_I'm just wondering how they're planning to use a Patronus as a form of communication…_

What is a Patronus?

_It's meant as a shield against Dementors, and it's a charm that normally takes the shape of an animal… but I still don't see how it can be used as a form of communication!_

We'll find out soon enough.

**Soon enough better mean two seconds from now!**

Are you suggesting sneaking into the library and taking out books?

**That I am!**

ARE YOU SUICIDAL?

**I'm going to be homicidal if we don't start looking into Patronus Charms!**

Sirius, tomorrow is Saturday, we don't have classes. We'll look into it then!

**Technically, it IS tomorrow!**

_It's 12:01, Sirius!_

**BUT IT'S SATURDAY! LET'S GO!!!**

_Sirius, just go to sleep and we'll go right after breakfast, I promise!_

**Fine. But I hope you know that none of you are going to be able to sleep!**

WHHYYY????

Because he's going to be bouncing, jumping, walking around, basically doing anything but sleeping.

_-sigh- Alright, fine. Here's a book of charms, Sirius. Flip through it and find the Patronus Charm._

**It's over 800 pages and you just tore out the Table of Contents and the Index!!!**

_I know. Good night!_

* * *

I know I didn't respond to reviews, but that always takes me like... an hour to do, and I figured you wanted hte update as soon as possible. I read all of them, they made me happy, and I will take the considerations and such into order. 150 e-galleons have been added to my reviewers accounts and a big basket of candy.

I will try to update over Thanksgiving break, but no garuntees, seeing as I will have company that will need to be entertained and food will need to be cooked.

Please review, even if it is to yell at me. I like having a reason to look forward to checking my email. I will give reviewers really shiny e-galleons , I promise!


	52. Chapter 52

_**FIFTY-TWO- Last Day!**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Has it really been a whole year already?

Apparently.

_THREE MONTHS OF NO STUDENTS!_

But plenty of other things to do!

_Yes, a blessing and curse._

Oh, for crying out loud!

_What?_

YOUR Idiots left us surprises, it seems.

_Why do you say that?_

Have you seen the doors to the Great Hall?

_No, I've been in my classroom the entire day._

"Hello, Professors! We hope you enjoy the gifts we left you all!

**Yeah, we had a lot of fun getting them set up and such.**

_Is it too late for me to claim innocence?_

Yes it is!

_I had no say in this! Blame the Slytherins! They won house cup! Stupid pot._

**HEY! The pot was your idea in the first place!**

We're running out of space on the door here…

**HAVE A FANTASTIC SUMMER!!!!!**" So you see, we are doomed. Odd kids. They drew a hoof, paw, moon, and a piece of cheese along with their note…

_What pot are they talking about?_

_A betting pot they had. _

More explanation is required.

_They bet a lot and when there isn't a clear winner of the bet, they'd throw their bet into the pot. At the beginning of the year they bet on which house would win the House Cup, and Slytherin won, meaning that Black got the money. _

Why did he bet on Slytherin?

_Don't get me started!_

_It's to shut his brother up, isn't it?_

_Fantastic guess! How'd you come up with it?_

_I found a rough draft of a list entitled, "Ways to Annoy Regulus"_

_Lovely. _

Why, out of all of them, did BLACK have to win the pot? You know that he's going to come back loaded with things that are going to make us want to snap his neck?

_Who knows, he might use all his money over the summer._

Yeah, to buy things to bring back here!

_To think we only have a summer to prepare ourselves._

Ugh! They'll be back in a summer! I think they should just stay home for a year, give us a break.

_I don't think it'd be a good idea for them to stay home all year. _

…Who are you and what have you done to Minerva?

**IT'S NOT HER!!! IT'S YOU-KNOW-WHO USING POLYJUICE!!!**

Shut up, Horace.

_It just wouldn't be good for them to be home that long. _

…Ok, I don't know what's wrong with you, because just a few days ago you were wishing right alongside me that we could just boot them out.

_-shrug- Things change. I'll be back later, I have to meet Marley._

Marley? As in Marlene McKinnon? I haven't heard from her in ages! How's she doing?

_She's a bit on edge right now, but other than that, fine. I'll talk to you later, I really have to leave!_

Why is Marlene on edge?!

_Calm down a bit, Pomona. For heaven's sake! Marlene took over as Head of Magical Law Enforcement! Of course she's going to be on edge!_

Actually, she's planning on resigning as Head of Department.

NO! She's the best option they have!

Yes, she is, but she's juggling several different things and one of them has to go, so she says, anyway. 

To make her resign as Head of Department she'd have to be doing something she thinks is far more important… but what would that be? Her whole life is her work!

A puzzle indeed. Anyway, I have a meeting of my own to get to! Toodles!

Now who are YOU meeting?

Emmeline Vance. 

…Why does it seem like everyone has a meeting with someone else?

You're only being dramatic Pomona. 

_What's Alastor Moody doing at the gates?_

Ohhh, that can't be good! 

RAH! I better find out reasons for all of these odd occurrences eventually!

Don't hold your breath!

Maybe I will!

…

…

He left!

_Yes, Moody coming here can't be good news._

Why would Minerva be meeting Marlene McKinnon and Dumbledore Emmeline Vance?

_Catching up? I don't know. _

There's something that they aren't telling us!

_And you feel left out._

Don't you?

_Not particularly. _

Why?!

_Because if there is something they aren't telling us, it's to keep us safe. _

How can you be sure of that?

_Minerva's your best friend and has been since your – what? – second year? Has she ever kept something from you without a legitimate reason?_

That's the thing! She doesn't keep secrets from me, and it's bothering me that she is now!

_Pomona, it'll be best to just try and forget about it. If you can't do that, don't bug her or Albus about it. _

ANOTHER THING! Their obviously in on whatever this is together, why did Dumbledore tell her and not the rest of us?

_Minerva is Dumbledore's second in command, he trusts her more than anyone else. Let it go, Pomona!_

Fine, I won't give them any grief about it, but if you find out what's going on and I find out that you didn't tell me, I will hurt you.

_Go ahead and try, oh you who nearly failed charms. _

Forgive me for threatening you, oh Dueling Master… who almost failed potions.

_THAT WAS A MISTAKE ON MY O.W.L.S.!!!!_

Of COURSE it was, Filius!

_IT WAS!_

Mmmmmhmmmmm.

_I'm sick of this foolishness!_

* * *

_**ON THE TRAIN**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

_Emmeline Vance! Another fantastic addition!_

Do you know who would be really good for the Order?

**Yeah! ME!!!!**

_In due time, Sirius!_

_Who, James?_

Edgar Bones! He's like… crazy hardcore anti-evil!

**OH YEAH! Dumbles should get him!**

…_Dumbles?_

**It takes to long to write Dumbledore!**

_Have I mentioned that you amaze me, Sirius?_

**Not today. Anyway, Dumbles should definitely get Bones! I don't even know what he looks like, but from the way Mrs. Black goes on and ON about him! DUMBLES! GET BONES!**

Alright, I'm normally all for nicknames, but there's no way I'm calling Dumbledore Dumbles.

**Why not?**

Because it's DUMBLEDORE! I mean… giving him a nickname would be like… like… like… Hold on, I have to think about this.

I can't think of anything, but Dumbledore shall remain nickname free in my book.

**Your book is dumb!**

You're dumb!

**Your face is dumb!**

_Not this again!_

**Butt out, Moony!**

I would say 'Your mum is dumb!', but you would agree, killing the game.

Who is Edger Bonds?

…I don't know…

…_Do you mean Edgar Bones, Pete?_

Yeah! Him!

_He's a major magical figure! Dueling Champion as of three years ago! Has yet to be beaten!_

**Eh. Flitwick could probably kick him to kingdom come. **

_But Flitwick doesn't compete anymore!_

Your right, Sirius, Flitwick would probably win, but Bones would give him a challenge. I've seen him duel, it's CRAZY!!!

_When have you seen him duel?_

He and his wife visited my house last summer. He challenged my dad when there was only one scone left and they both wanted it.

_That must have been interesting…_

I thought so, but Mum and Mrs. Bones found it rather pathetic and killed all the fun by cutting the scone in half.

**That's too easy! You have to make things super complicated! It's how the world works!**

We tried to explain it to them, but they just wouldn't listen.

**Pssshhh. **

THE TROLLEY!!!

**FOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

HECK YES!

_Eh. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! _

_FOOD!_

* * *

Later than I'd hoped, but here's an update!

Thank you so much, reviewers! I looked forward to reading your reviews, and they really cheered me up. Last week was not anywhere near a high point in my life.

Reviewers for this chapter will recieve 150 e-galleons and 2 knuts automatically.

Viewers, you're all pretty amazing too, so 10 e-sickles will be added to your e-accounts! Enjoy!

And I just want to add that you, yes you staring at your screen, look absolutly wonderful today!

Until next time! Adios!


	53. FIFTH YEAR

_**FIFTY-THREE – Fifth Year – Train**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

**REMUS!!!**

_NO!!!_

**What?**

_I know what you're going to say!_

**Alright then, what am I going to say?**

"_WHERE'S THE BOOK?!?"_

**Oh, bravo! Now answer my question.**

_You can answer it!_

**Bottom of your trunk?**

_Yeah. _

We told you that you should have moved it, smart one!

_STOP! NO!!!!!_

**We warned you, Moony!**

_I swear I'm going to eat you both!_

**Why can't you just BITE me and leave me to become like you in peace?**

_DO NOT start off with the whole bite/eat thing this early, Padfoot!_

HE SAID PADFOOT AGAIN!!

**BRAVO!**

_Yes yes. I can also say Prongs and Wormtail._

**CONGRATULATIONS, MOONY!**

Hoorah!

Hold on a sec while I pass out, will ya?

_If that means avoiding the Notebook for a bit, feel free to pass out._

I'm up!

**And I got the book!**

GET IT OPEN!!

* * *

_**TEACHERS' NOTEBOOK**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

I swear summer is getting shorter.

No, time is just passing faster.

Yeah, if time is going FASTER, that means that summer is getting SHORTER!

Time passes rather quickly during the school year, too.

Yeah, for you!

Minerva? Where are you? You would have normally put in your own opinion by now…

_I just woke up!_

Just woke up? It's nearly eleven!

_Well, I was up rather late, and then I had an early morning appointment, came back, and went to sleep again. _

What's up with all the sudden appointments? I mean, you've had twelve in the past week!

_I have a lot of catching up to do. People are beginning to become paranoid. They think they only have a week to say good-bye to everyone they've ever known._

No one has contacted me!

_That's because you developed several enemies due to your tendency to gossip!_

_Speaking of enemies, what's our greatest one done lately?_

I believe there was an attack in Manchester last night, carrying into early this morning. If I remember correctly, which I'm certain I do, the death toll was six.

_Only five of which we'll miss._

_One of Voldemort's followers was killed?!?!_

_How do you know it wasn't he himself?_

_If it was you would be skipping around the school screaming of his demise. Who was it?_

Rawshein. 

_Who were the five we will miss?_

The Taylor family. Mr. and Mrs. put up a heroic fight trying to defend their children, and, obviously, managed to get one person… however, they were vastly outnumbered. 

What could the Taylors have done to bring down Riddle's wrath?

_Who knows. _

Actually, we do know!

…_We do?_

Both Mr. and Mrs. Taylor were Muggle-born.

_Ahhh, Riddle's extremely prejudiced then. _

It appears that way. 

_Since when do we know that's why the Taylors were targeted?_

Didn't Alastor tell you?

_Must have missed the owl. _

How can you miss an owl? It'll just stand by the window until you open it!!

Anyway, Mrs. LeStrange, a Black, carved the family motto onto the back of Mrs. Taylor's hand. 

CARVED?

Yes, carved. 

As in, cut into her skin?

Yes…

I'm going to go throw up now.

_Toujours pur_

_Pah! 'Always Pure'! No witch or wizard is completely pure, it's impossible! We're mutants of Muggles from way back when!_

You really think Blackheart bothered to learn how wizards came to be?

_Finished throwing up, I see. _

_No, I don't really think Bellatrix would bother to learn. I doubt any of her recent friends bothered, either. _

_Well if any of the children listened to Professor Binns, I'm sure they'd know, but seeing as how no one has listened to him since he started teaching 183 years ago…_

I thought he was stuck at age 40 for the past 100 years?

_No, age 73 for 110 years. _

Nuh-huh!

_Pomona, you're wrong. I don't know where you got 40 from! _

He looks 40!

_No way he died at 40. He's definitely stuck in his 70s!_

Fine. I'll go ask then!

_You know he won't answer; you'll lie and say he said 40!_

…So?

_So you lose. I know you too well. _

_I think Filch is falling down on the job._

Why is that?

_The second floor hall is flooding._

_No, Myrtle probably flooded the bathroom once again and Filch is just going to wait until she's got it all out of herself._

_Won't we be waiting for all eternity then?_

_Probably. _

_Fine! I'll fix the 'leak' then! I'd really hate for my office to get flooded._

Your office is on the 4th floor!

_Yes, but if no one fixes the flooding problem the whole school will slowly be drowned._

_Go off and perform your heroic act, Filius!_

_Will do!_

* * *

_**Back on the train**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Yeck! How could you manage to kill three kids and their parents? I mean… I know I complain about first years a lot, but I wouldn't ever actually bring them physical harm!

_Yeah, because you save that for Sirius and Snape._

**Well, it was Trixie, who could slit a baby's throat and run away laughing.**

Did you see her at all this summer, eh?

**Nope. She was too 'busy'. **

Ouch.

**Especially since Mrs. Black was more gleeful than usual. **

_Well we know one thing that is in our favor._

**Oh yeah? What's that, Moony?**

_More people are joining the Order!_

**DID YOU JOIN THE ORDER OVER THE SUMMER AND NOT TELL US?!?**

_Sirius – _

**HOW COULD YOU, MOONY?**

_SIRIUS – _

**YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST PUT IN A GOOD WORD FOR US!**

_WOULD YOU QUIT SNATCHING THE PAPER AWAY FROM ME?_

_I didn't join the Order! If I was offered, I wouldn't refuse, of course. I know that more people are joining the Order because McGonagall had 12 meetings in the past week! Twelve meetings that she didn't tell Sprout about!_

Sprout and about rhyme!

_Good job, Pete._

Ah, yes, you're right, Remus!

**Whew! I was about ready to cut out your intestines and give them to the squid!**

_Haven't heard that one in a while. _

**I decided to bring it back from the grave.**

_Oh goody._

That one is starting to get old, Padfoot.

**Well so are you, Prongs!**

…That insult makes no sense what so ever.

…**It made more sense in my head.**

I'm sure most things you say make more sense in your head.

_Wow, Sirius! I'm impressed! The trolley has been in the hall for two minutes and 57 seconds and you haven't noticed!_

**FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!**

_I don't know what I should worry about, Sirius wise._

I just gave up altogether.

_I might, soon. _

Leave the worrying for McGonagall! Let's go get some food!

_I thought you'd want to take this opportunity to go through Sirius's trunk and see what he got with all his money?_

Ooooo! You do have a dark side, Remus! I like it!

_Let's get digging before my dark-o-meter runs out._

Of course, dark creature by definition!

_Shut up and grab his trunk!_

**Whoops! Too late! I'll show you what I got in a minute. But first, SOMEONE has a shiny new badge to show us!**

Not me!

**Obviously.**

Pete?

…What are we talking about?

Guess not.

**Where's the badge, O New Prefect?**

_Not anywhere you'll be able to get at. _

**Come on, Moony! Show us the badge!**

_I'm not that stupid!_

Sure you are! Come on!

_Seriously, you won't be able to get at it for a while yet._

And why is that?

_I sent it back for Professor McGonagall to guard until we actually got to school._

**NO! **

_Sorry, Sirius. You're just going to have to be patient._

**THAT'S NOT FAIR! McGonagall won't let us have it!**

…_That's the point…_

**That badge will be mine. It has a date with the Destructor.**

* * *

Hoorah for updates!

I really am sorry for not responding to reviews lately. For now I'll answer ones that stick out, or ones with questions. Come summer I'll respond to them all again. I promise!

Please let me know what you think about the chapter! 150 e-galleons will be added to your account if you do so.

I feel the need to say to someone reading this,

Why do you think you're ugly when you're gorgeous?

Please review! Have a fantastic week! I hope its better than mine was!


	54. Chapter 54

_**FIFTY-FOUR– weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

This year might actually be the smoothest year we've had in four years…

_Why do you say that?_

_O.W.L.S._

_Ahhhh_

**We have O.W.L.S. every year, you know.**

_Yes, Horace. But who is in their fifth year?_

**Well there are several students! Miss Evans, Snape, Potter, Lupin, Black…**

Exactly! They're too busy with all their work to pull the normal amount of pranks they normally would have by this point in time.

_Or…_

Or what? I don't want to hear that word right now!

_Or maybe they're only pretending to be too busy studying to pull pranks and they're planning the mother of all pranks…_

_If they were planning a big prank they would give us some form of warning. I'm almost positive._

Almost doesn't cut it!

I think you're all being a bit paranoid.

_Agreed._

…Is the world coming to an end or something?

_It appears to be so…_

_Am I going to be let into this little secret?_

You just agreed with Dumbledore!

…_And?_

And you agreed about us being paranoid about your Gryffindors!

_They shouldn't be our top worry right now._

The world just definitely flipped upside down.

_The world's been flipping for a bit now, incase you haven't been reading the Prophet._

I have, but it's not as if the war is something we can interfere with. Bloody Ministry needs to get away from their desks.

_Did POMONA SPROUT just say that she couldn't interfere with something?_

_NOW the world has flipped completely over. _

**You know, if we really wanted to, we could interfere. Possibly even bring You-Know-Who down.**

…_did you seriously just say "You-Know-Who"?_

**Saying his chosen name gives me the creeps.**

We could interfere Horace, anyone could. The question is, are people willing to take the risk? 

_Most aren't._

How do you know they aren't? I think you're being a bit pessimistic…

_If more people were willing to take the risk there would be more people fighting. The only time people do fight is when they're being threatened, and by then it's too late. _

**Well not everyone in the world can be a Gryffindor, Minerva!**

_I'm well aware of that! I'm not asking everyone to show Gryffindor courage, just not cowardice. _

**Are you saying everyone is being cowardly?**

_Yes I am. _

Even I'm going to say that's harsh…

_That's nice. _

_I'm off to another meeting!_

Another? Who is it this time?

_Mundungas Fletcher._

Why would you want to talk to that rat?

_Believe me, I don't. Toodles!_

What happened to the world?

Quite a bit. 

That much is obvious!

* * *

_**Boys' Dorm**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Bad news, boys.

**What news is that?**

We have Sprout for detention in half an hour. And she'll be ANGRY.

…**Can I play sick?**

If you play sick, your disease is going to be contagious.

_So you can get it, right?_

Exactly!

_You know no one will fall for that?_

Yeah… but it's worth a shot anyway.

_No it isn't! We've got a month and a half of detention straight. When do you intend on doing your homework if you continue to get them?_

I was thinking you'd do it for me.

_Nice try._

**Who is the Fletcher fellow they were talking about?**

I have absolutely NO idea.

**Well that's not cool. **

**What about you, Remus?**

_I've heard the name, but I can't put a description to it. _

**Well you're no help at all.**

_I guess you won't be needing these history notes then…_

**NO!!! GET THOSE NOTES AWAY FROM THE CANDLE!!!!**

_But if I'm no help, neither are my notes!_

Hey, Remus, let's just talk this out, ok? We'll just start with BLOWING OUT THE CANDLE!!!

…**I should have thought of that…**

Yeah, you should have, considering you were a meter away and I was three.

**Either way, the problem is solved.**

Hey… doesn't our detention start at 8?

**Yeah…**

And doesn't it take 7 minutes to get to the greenhouses?

**On average.**

It's 7:55…

**RUUUUUNNN!!!**

* * *

I hope you enjoyed!

Ok, seriously! Person who is reading this who refuses to believe me, you're GORGEOUS! STOP SAYING YOU AREN'T!!!! Just letting you know that this is directed at you, viewers, not a specific friend of mine, for serious.

You people are fantastic! All reviewers will get 300 e-galleons, and viewers get 50 e-galleons! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! I'm going to try to update before my holiday, but no garuntees. I do apologize for not having a holiday themed chapter. Didn't think that far ahead.

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	55. Chapter 55

_**FIFTY-FIVE – a month later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

MINERVA MARIE MCGONAGALL!!!

_What?_

Are you seriously ASKING why I'm upset?

_Well yes, people tend to ask questions when they don't know what's going on._

What time is it?

_Time to go to SLEEP?_

It's 11!!!

_My point exactly!_

And mine! What ended half an hour ago?

_I don't know!_

Hmm. You must have forgotten to pencil it in among your many other appointments.

_Pomona, we have classes tomorrow and I want to be able to stay awake for them! What do you want?_

Where did you SAY you'd be at seven?

_I was at the Ministry in the Auror apartment from six until now! Alastor asked me to help him with some new people who are falling behind. I didn't tell you I'd be anywhere at seven!_

…

_Did I?_

Yes you did!

_Oh… oh no! Pomona I'm sorry!_

Believe me; you want to apologize to Rosemerta more!

_I was supposed to help with clean up…_

Yeah you were! It took twice as long to clean up as it should have and that was no small party that happened!

**Did I miss out on a party?**

GO TO SLEEP, HORACE!

**Right away, Pomona M. Sprout!**

My middle name doesn't start with the letter M!

**I know that. Toodles!**

Good evening to you all!

For you, maybe.

My evening could have gone so much better, to be honest.

Did you spend an hour and a half setting up a wedding reception that Rosemerta hosted? And then another hour and a half AFTER the reception for clean up, which you weren't expecting to do? Huh?

No, I didn't, though I would have enjoyed that! I love weddings! Such happy occasions!

Of course YOU would enjoy it.

Minerva! How did the Auror training go?

…

Minerva?

She probably left.

_No. She fell asleep on her book._

_The training went pretty well. Very exhausting though._

That's it. Good night!

I think you've angered her!

_REALLY?! _

Yeah!

_I totally didn't notice._

I must say that you've gained excellent control of your temper. You'd normally lash right back at her.

_I'm too tired. That and I did tell Rosemerta I'd help her before I agreed to help Alastor with the new "Aurors". Oh well. Priorities change._

How soon do you think it'll be before we can communicate with Patronuses?

_I'd say give it two or three more sessions. _

Only?

_Yes… We're not making those who already accomplished it come back. _

Ah. And then you can spend more time with those who need help. I get it!

_Bravo, Albus!_

Are you ever too tired to not be sarcastic?

_Nope. Night!_

Good night.

* * *

I'm sorry! This chapter's awefully short. Not really all that exciting either...

Next chapter will put you on your toes, though! Yay!

Whoever gets the joke I slid into the chapter gets an extra 15 e-galleons!

As for reviewers, you get 400 e-galleons!

Viewers, 100 e-galleons! Imagine that, just for reading this!

Happy whatever you may celebrate!

Now hit review, make my holiday!


	56. Chapter 56

_**FIFTY-SIX- few days later**_

_McGongall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn

* * *

  
**

_Is it time for Christmas break yet?_

No… about a month to go yet.

_Ugh. _

_It could be worse._

_Really? How so?_

_Our 'favorite' fifth year boys could be extraordinarily active with their pranks._

They have been rather tame, haven't they?

_Come to think of it… I haven't had to give them a detention in almost two weeks now…_

They're probably just planning something big.

_I'd know if they were. _

Really? How?

_The other students would know. There'd be more excitement. That and the boys would be passing lots and lots of notes. _

_They aren't passing notes in your class?_

_No…_

_I thought they would be… they haven't been in mine either. _

I haven't seen them passing notes during lunch either. 

Why would they pass notes during lunch in the first place?

_They've been doing so since their first year. _

I know that. I was asking for an EXPLANATION.

_One of their many strange quirks. _

Oh! Quirks! That's such a fun word to say!

**Indeed it is! Quirks! Quirks! Quirks!**

Oh shut UP!

…**What did I even do? Am I just going to get yelled at every time I join a conversation?**

If you're annoying, yes!

_Something is off here…_

I agree!

**What's off?**

_Pomona is shouting at Horace and Minerva isn't…_

Perhaps Minerva fell asleep on her book again.

_Or perhaps she's attempting to catch up on paperwork? I've had next to no time for grading! _

You can always do what I did!

_I'm not resorting to that until I absolutely have to. Grading is MY work, not the students'._

Suit yourself. 

_I've finished all my grading if you'd like some help…_

_No. I'll manage. _

**WHAT WAS THAT?**

…_Did I say something offensive?_

**No! Something just happened at Hogsmeade… **

Horace?

**There was a faint flash of green light… and then another… then some red... and … oh my… Albus… this is probably something you want to see…**

Alright, I'll be to your office in just a moment.

**No need. Look out your window.**

Quickly! Get all the students down to the Great Hall!

_Albus! What happened?_

I'm not sure.

_Tell me what you are sure of!_

I'm sure of the sign over Hogsmeade right now. 

_NO!!!!_

Wake up the students and get them to the Hall! Now!!!

On it!

_Right away!_

**Already half way there.**

_Should I call Alastor?_

No. I'll call everyone necessary. You just get to the Gryffindor Tower as fast as you can!

* * *

The drama of fifth year begins! Oh dear. Yes, I'm sorry, cliffie-ish chapter. I will attempt to update quickly.

Reviewers will get 100 e-galleons, viewers get 50 e-sickles. So... review... now. Please?

Message me if you have ideas, if there are things I mispelled, things from canon I need to put in but haven't... all that fun! Enjoy your day!


	57. Chapter 57

_**FIFTY-SEVEN-same night, about same time**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Pettigrew

* * *

Come on! We should get downstairs and wait for McGonagall!

**She'll wonder how we knew!**

Fine! We'll act like we're up late doing work, then we'll volunteer to help.

_Sirius, wake up Pete! Let's go! McGonagall will be in the Common Room any minute, we need to be set up! James and I will grab books. You and Pete grab paper, quills and ink!_

* * *

The Marauders had just finished getting set up when Professor McGonagall burst into the Common Room.

"Professor! What's brought you here?" Sirius said with a smile. Remus had to give him points for his acting skills.

The Professor was definitely not up for pleasantries, nor was she being very curious as to why the school's biggest pranksters were up so late working on homework. "Wake up the other boys and get them down here!" she demanded without stopping as she flew up the girl's staircase.

"I'll get the first years. Pete, you go with Remus to wake up the second years. Sirius, get the third years. We'll all meet to wake up the fourth years!" James said as he threw his book to the side and took off. Remus, Sirius, and Peter weren't far behind.

Within ten minutes all of the Gryffindors were in the Common Room in their pajamas, rubbing their eyes and leaning on each other for support.

"What's going on, Professor?" asked the only other student besides the Marauders that was completely awake.

"Professor Dumbledore will explain in the Great Hall, Miss Evans. Let's go! Everyone stay together. Come along!" Professor McGonagall said hurriedly as she led her students out of the tower.

Lily fell to the back of the line with James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. "What's going on?"

"I don't know," Remus lied.

"Oh yeah right, you don't know! Tell me!" Lily's eyes flashed.

"An attack on Hogsmeade, Evans," explained Sirius.

Lily stopped in her tracks for a moment before James pulled her forward. "Be shocked later! Come on!"

Remus suddenly broke out of the line to the wall. "What are you doing? Come on, we have to get to the Great Hall!" he said as he tried to pull up a little first year girl from where she'd sat down.

"I'm too tired!" admitted the little girl as her eyes slowly slid shut.

Sirius broke off to the wall as well and picked up the little girl. With James's help, he swung her onto his back and continued on at the end of the line with his friends.

Between James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, the Prefects and Professor McGonagall, all the Gryffindors made it to the Great Hall. Sirius sat the little girl down by her friends where she put her head into her arms and fell asleep. McGonagall rushed up to the staff table and began whispering with Dumbledore, both of them looking very worried.

After a few minutes, Dumbledore turned to his students and a hush fell over the crowd. "I am terribly sorry for having to wake you all up," grumbles issued from all over the hall, "but it is necessary." Dumbledore's voice lost its usual bounce and became utterly serious. "An attack was just made on Hogsmeade." The hall broke into loud gasps and chatter.

Dumbledore raised his hands asking for silence once more. "You will be spending the rest of the night in here, and possibly sometime of tomorrow. You are not, I repeat, _not_ to leave the Great Hall without a teacher or a Prefect escorting you. Speaking of Prefects, would they please join me and Professor McGonagall just outside the doors?" he asked and then began heading that way.

Lily was already gone by the time James turned to Remus. "You tell us everything they tell you, Remus."

"Of course I will, James," Remus said before going towards the doors.

Professor McGonagall made her way over to James, Sirius, and Peter with Frank Longbottom gently tugging his girlfriend, Alice, along. "I'm trusting that you all can help keep things calm while the other Professors are busy. I'm not wrong in doing so, am I?" she said with an eyebrow raised challengingly.

"No, Professor!" all five chanted immediately.

Professor McGonagall nodded and hurried to the doors of the hall, closing them behind herself.

"Where _are_ all the other professors?" Alice asked.

"Probably outside fortifying the school's protections," Sirius suggested, also taking notice that the other teachers were indeed nowhere to be seen.

"What do you make of this situation, Potter?" Frank asked as he surveyed the student body, watching for any activity.

"What I'm taking away from this is that we're all screwed," James said with a smile.

Alice punched James's arm, "I don't care if you're only joking, don't talk like that!"

Frank pulled Alice into a one armed hug. "Calm down, Alice! Nothing's going to happen to us! Come on, we're in Hogwarts! Probably the most secure building on the face of the planet!" he said cheerily.

"Yeah, well what's-his-face managed to get into Hogsmeade! Why not Hogwarts, eh?"

"Hogsmeade is public ground, anyone can get there without a problem," James said sourly while massaging his arm.

Peter yawned. "Hogwarts is protected by years and years of defensive spells."

"Way to quote the textbook, Wormtail!" Sirius exclaimed and slapped Peter on the back.

Peter gave a wide smile. "Thanks!"

"Why isn't the Ministry doing more? I somewhat understand Voldemort," Peter shivered slightly, but no one noticed, "getting into major parts of Britain, but Hogsmeade? How could they have let him get so far?" Alice asked.

"The Ministry is doing what they can. It's just that so many of them are getting picked off and no one wants to join and take their place," Sirius said unhappily.

"I'm surprised Dumbledore hasn't done anything," Frank wondered aloud. James looked at Sirius knowingly. "What was that look?"

"We've just been pondering the same thing," James said with a shrug. Alice and Frank looked suspicious, but didn't ask further.

Two owls flew down into the Great Hall, headed straight for the group of the people in charge.

"Why are the windows open?" Alice asked angrily before dragging Frank off to help her make sure all of them were closed.

One of the owls landed by Sirius and held out its leg. The other perched itself on a nearby table and was looking around.

"These owls look creepy…" Peter said.

"Oh come on, Pete!" Sirius exclaimed good naturedly while untying the letter from the owl, "All owls look creepy! It's wha – " The smile fell off of Sirius's face when he opened the letter the owl had given him.

"Padfoot?" James said cautiously, "Sirius?"

Sirius hissed the letter quietly to his friends, "You are so lucky we couldn't get further! Bellatrix."

"I'm coming home with you for Christmas, Padfoot! She's goin' down!" James stated with passion.

"If this is from Sadist Supreme, who's that one from and to whom is it supposed to go?" Sirius looked at the other owl perched on the table, still looking around.

Alice and Frank came back to see James, Sirius, and Peter staring at the searching owl. "What's up with you lot?"

"This owl is definitely NOT bringing good news…" James snarled.

Alice was slightly taken aback. Frank pushed further, "How do we know?"

"Because this one," Sirius held up his letter, "didn't and the owls looked the same!"

"Who sent that one?" Alice asked nervously.

"Someone who deserves an extremely painful death!" spat Sirius.

Before Alice could get more information out of him, Dumbledore reentered the hall and beckoned Alice and Frank with him to the front.

"Professor," James began as McGonagall walked into the hall. Before he could tell her about the owls, the second owl jumped off the table and landed in front of her.

McGonagall bent down and took the letter and the owl flew out the still open Great Hall doors. "What is it, Potter?"

"I was just going to tell you about the owl… but evidently, I don't have to…"

McGonagall ripped open her letter, and color left her face a few seconds later.

"Professor?" Remus asked, coming back to the group, Lily not very far behind him.

Professor McGonagall inhaled deeply and shoved the letter away in her pocket before looking around at the windows. "Who closed them?"

"Alice and Frank, after the owls came in," Sirius offered. The Professor reopened two of the windows with the flick of her wand. "They need to stay open. There are people who are going to want answers."

A faint pounding could be heard coming from the Entrance Hall. McGonagall left without saying another word.

"What just happened?" Lily inquired.

"Bad news just happened. Voldemort ought to get new parchment. His current stuff is see-through," James said blankly.

"That note was from _Voldemort_?" Lily hissed.

"Yeah, jeez, Evans! Can't you read things backwards?" Sirius said sarcastically.

Lily glared at him. "Well what'd it say?"

"Nothing of importance," Sirius and James said at the same time.

"I don't believe you. What did it say?"

"We could tell you, but then we'd have to kill you…" James said.

"That's NOT funny, Potter!" Lily cried before storming off.

"What did it say?" Remus whispered.

"He's just… you know, making threats and stuff," Sirius sighed.

McGonagall soon came into the Hall, speaking to none other than Alastor Moody in Latin. "Est non Aberforth?" McGonagall said.

"Minime," Moody responded.

McGonagall gave a sigh of relief before speaking again, "Et ludus?"

"Securus, nam iam."

"Nam iam?!" Professor McGonagall sounded nervous. Before Moody's response could be heard, they were out of earshot.

"Why doesn't she show him the letter?" Peter asked.

"She doesn't want to. Would you want us to know if Voldemort was taunting you, Pete?" James asked. After a slight pause he seemed to reconsider, "Never mind. I don't know why she won't."

"Who is Aberforth?" Remus asked.

"…You understood what they were saying?" Sirius said.

"Yeah… I understand a bit of Latin… we all do…"

"What were they talking about?"

"Well… McGonagall first asked if it was a guy named Aberforth, Moody said no, then McGonagall asked about the school, and Moody said it was safe for now."

"For now?"

"That's exactly what McGonagall said in reply to Moody."

"Something very wrong is going on…" Pete said.

"No kidding! I thought everything was A okay!" Sirius snapped.

"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed.

Dumbledore called for everyone's attention. "I know you're all nervous. But please do try to get some sleep." He waved his wand and squishy, comfy looking sleeping bags appeared all over the hall and the House Tables disappeared. He and Moody left the Hall.

Professor McGonagall called all the Prefects to the back of the Hall as everyone was getting settled.

James, Sirius and Peter were waiting to be told to go get their own sleeping bags, but the time didn't come.

"Professors will be coming in here regularly to see that everything is alright. While we are gone we're counting on you to keep an eye on things. If anything major happens, take another Prefect with you and go to Professor Dumbledore's office to tell him what happened."

"Alright, Professor," said several of the Prefects.

Professor McGonagall left the hall and closed the doors behind her.

"Alright," Frank said, "Lupin, Potter, Black, Pettigrew, you lot stay by the door and make sure no one tries to sneak out. If the Professors come tell them what they need to know. The rest of you, we need to get the ladies on one side of the hall and the gentlemen on the other. Step to it!"

"Yes, oh great Head Boy!" James said enthusiastically before taking the pose of a soldier by the door.

"Come on, Potter! This isn't a joking matter!" Alice whined.

"I'm not joking, oh great Head Girl! I will guard this door with my very life, if the situation calls for it!"

"You're parents must be so ridiculously proud of you," she said sarcastically.

"Oh, they are!" James said with a grin. Alice rolled her eyes and went off to start moving all the girls to where they needed to be.

"I don't want to guard the door!" whined Peter.

"Well that stinks for you. Guard it anyway," Sirius ordered.

"We've got a long night ahead of us, boys. Let's make the most of it!" James said and leaned against the door. Remus held back a smile as he pictured the next time that door was flung open

* * *

So that was definately not the fast update I'd hoped for... blame my coach. Making me get up early on break. Meh.

Yes, drama, drama, drama! What are we to do? -pulls out crown again- Hold onto your seats, folks!

Reviewers get the shiniest... shinyest... how the heck do you spell that?...

Whatever. Bottom line, reviewers will get some very very very shiny e-galleons. Really, how hard is it to type out two sentances? Burn that fat off the fingers! Type! Click the review button! Come on... your mouse is hovering over the button right now... just left click and type... that's all it takes...


	58. Chapter 58

_**Fifty Eight - same night**_

Minerva walked out of the hall and Alastor was waiting for her.

"So what's with the thing in your pocket that you won't want people to know about?" He asked casually after she'd closed the door.

Fantastic, Minerva thought, the one person I can't get away with lying to. Deciding to just attempt to blow it off, Minerva opened her mouth, "Its nothing."

"If it was nothing than you wouldn't be checking your pockets every two minutes for it," Alastor said, giving Minerva a look that made her feel as if he could see right through her.

"By 'nothing' I meant nothing of your concern. I can take care of it myself. I've grown from that little first year who needed the second year's help."

"Pah! You needed my help right up until the day I graduated! Now come on, I know its bugging you. You _want_ to show someone."

Minerva frowned deeply. It wasn't any of his business. She didn't have to show him the note. It was her thing to deal with.

"Minerva… show me the what-you-might-call it that you're hiding. You'll feel better for it."

She sighed angrily. "Only if it stays between you and me."

"I can't make any guarantees…"

"Fine!" Minerva snapped. She took the note out of her pocket and shoved it into Alastor's waiting one.

He opened up the paper and read, his eyes growing colder as they slipped down the page. "That sneaky son of a – "

"Alastor! When did you get here?" Pomona sprout asked as she came around the corner. Minerva began to feel a little panicky and was tempted to swipe the paper from the now white knuckles of her old friend.

"No way he can get away with it!" Alastor stated determinedly and started heading off.

"Alastor! No!" Minerva shouted, quick to run after him.

"This isn't the first one either, is it? Why didn't you come to someone?!" Alastor's voice rang through the stairwell.

Pomona was left standing in the Entrance Hall, alone and angry. With a huff, she turned on her heel and went back outside.

"What's bothering you, Professor Sprout?" Filius asked when he saw his colleague.

"Nothing you can fix," she snapped as she walked past him.

"Its Minerva again, isn't it? How many times have I told you to try not to be angry with her? She's under a lot of pressure – "

"I _know_ she is! But she's ignoring things that shouldn't be ignored!"

"Because she's most likely working hard on things that should be attended to! Priorities change, and she's going through a rough time. She needs a friend, and currently, you aren't being one," Filius said the last part quietly before going inside the school.

Pomona wrinkled her brow, and then continued on with her duties as if she hadn't run into Filius.

* * *

Minerva managed to stop Alastor just before he said the password to enter Dumbledore's office. "Alastor! This isn't your problem! Its _mine_ and I can handle it!"

"You haven't been thus far or you wouldn't be continuing to get them! How many has he sent?" Alastor was not in the least bit happy.

"Just that one! And I will handle it, just in a different way than you would."

"You're way? What way is that? Ignoring it and hoping that he won't send another? You don't honestly think that will work, do you?"

"Well what's your plan to make him stop?" Minerva snapped. Alastor opened his mouth, then closed it. "Exactly!" she took the letter away from Alastor. "Your way is to send back an angry letter demanding he doesn't send more, but that's exactly what he wants! The best thing for me to do is to keep it quiet and ignore it the best I can."

Alastor turned back to the door and said the password.

"You tell me if he sends another one," he ordered.

"Don't worry, I won't," Minerva responded.

Alastor was about to start snapping at his friend when Black came around the corner pulling a rope.

"Hold the door, Professor!" shouted Black.

"Black, what are you doing?" Minerva asked.

"Ouch! Hold it, Padfoot! You're pulling too fast!" came Potter's voice after a painful sounding thump.

"Oh… that's going to hurt later," Evans stated from out of sight.

"It already does hurt!" Potter snarled, "What's wrong with you? Stupid mutt."

"Sorry, Bambi, for walking at the average human speed up a staircase!" Black responded.

Potter soon appeared next to Black, part of his face already swelling and turning an unnatural red, and he was also holding an end of a rope. "If you ever call me Bambi again, you will not have a place to retreat to for breaks and the summer!"

Minerva was astonished by how cold the friends were being to each other. Evans and Lupin came into sight, and the professor looked at all four of her students closely.

Lupin looked absolutely furious and was sporting a split lip. Potter had the mark on his face from his fall, but he also had a large tear in his robe and wasn't putting weight on his left leg. Part of Black's hair was singed and shorter than the rest and one of his sleeves had been ripped off, showing a large bruise on his arm. Evans' face was scratched up quite a bit and her sleeve was wet, shiny, and sticking to her arm. Minerva's eye's were wide from the condition of her students.

"Don't worry, Professor. It's not my blood," Evans said. She flipped up her sleeve to reveal no cut or gash, through there was a bruise that suggested she'd been grabbed and held.

"Well whose is it, then?" the Professor asked, fearing that one of her Gryffindors was grievously injured and couldn't make it up to the office.

Evans pointed behind her, around the corner, down the staircase.

"What are you pulling, boys?" Alastor demanded.

Potter and Black pulled the rope until the adults were able to see a passed out figure in Hogwarts robes tied up with an absurd amount of rope. Minerva recognized it to be a seventh year Slytherin Prefect.

"We four were going back to Gryffindor tower to grab some things people needed. We were about a minute away when all our wands flew out of our pockets and Evans flew off to the side. We followed, of course. Led us to a dead end of a hallway. Guy had Evans in front of him like a shield, not that we'd be able to do anything, considering he had five wands and we had none," Lupin started the story.

"The idiot started saying some really stupid stuff and poking Evans in the back of the head with his wand." Potter continued.

"The _this_ idiot," Black smacked Potter on the back of the head, "charged at him, went down, of course."

"And by that time Mr. Slytherin felt threatened by us and started firing spells at me and Sirius. All we could do was duck around the corner and think up a strategy. Potter graced us with his presence a moment later," Lupin said coldly.

"Would you two stop making it seem as though I'm the enemy?" Potter shouted.

"We aren't making you out to be the enemy, we're making you out to be the idiot that ticked off the enemy!" Black yelled back. "How stupid can you be, James? Did you think at ALL before you ran at a guy twice your size that was armed with a wand and four back-ups?"

"Enough!" McGonagall screamed over the boys. They stopped arguing, but were still looking at each other murderously. "Evans, what happened after that?"

"I don't know what they said around the corner, but Lupin came out with his hands up a moment later and said something in Latin. I didn't understand it but what's-his-face did. Started asking if we thought he was that stupid, where Potter and Black had gone, what they thought they could do to stop him. Lupin just started talking to him. I noticed his grip on my arm was loosening. He started laughing at something Lupin said and I took advantage of it and stepped on his foot and fell back on him so he fell into the wall. Lupin pulled me away. When I looked back, Potter and Black were trying to pin him down. Lupin went to help; I grabbed a fallen wand and immobilized him, then bound him.

"Can we go see Professor Dumbledore now?" Evans had spoken very quickly.

"All he did was grab your arm, girl. Why didn't you move quicker?" Alastor asked, sounding suspicious.

"Alastor!" Minerva hissed.

"What?" he responded.

Evans eyes had widened with anger, but she answered. "He had my arm pinned behind my back. I couldn't do much moving, sir!"

The bound student opened his eyes, awake from having passed out or being clubbed over the head. He took in who he was surrounded by and hurried to defend himself, "I don't know what they told you, Professor, but they're lying! They attacked ME!"

"Oh, shut up, you fat, stupid, idiotic, greedy, lying, traitorous son of a b-"

"For the love of all that is magical, Potter!" Evans said. She stomped over to the bound boy and pinched a pressure point. He immediately passed out again, though Evans wasn't showing signs of stopping her attack as she raised a fist...

Minerva pulled her student away and held her until Potter, Black, Lupin and Alastor had gone through the open door and shut it.

Evans was still struggling, attempting to break free of her teachers grip and fly up the stairs.

"Evans!" No response.

"EVANS!" The student still didn't listen.

Minerva turned her student roughly around to face her. "Miss Evans, what is the matter with you?"

Evans' eyes were brimming with tears, of what sort, Minerva couldn't tell.

"Lily," Minerva tried not to sound too angry or harsh, "what is the matter with you?"

Evans didn't do anything for a moment, then suddenly hugged her professor and let her tears fall.

Minerva suddenly found herself out of her element, but did her best to comfort the crying girl.

After a moment, Evans spoke, "The threats we told you about, the boys didn't hear all of them." Minerva waited. "Some of the threats he made were specifically against me. I haven't even seen him before! How could I have done anything? And some of the things he said weren't even threats; I don't know what they were!"

Before Professor McGonagall could respond, the door opened and Professor Dumbledore walked out. "Excuse me, but if I understand correctly, one of the witnesses is down here."

"I'll bring her up in just a moment, Dumbledore." He nodded and retreated up the stairs.

"I don't want to go, Professor!" Evans pleaded.

Minerva peeled her student off her and looked her in the eye. "If you want that boy out of here, Gryffindor, you're going to go up the stairs and answer whatever questions are asked of you by Professor Dumbledore, myself, or Alastor Moody. Can you do that?"

Evans looked a lot calmer after hearing that the transfiguration professor would be coming. She wiped her eyes dry with her clean sleeve and took a deep breath. "I can."

Minerva said the password and Evans led the way up the stairs.

* * *

Capital E's look funny.

I'm sorry its taking me so long to make updates! Coaches and directors have something scheduled for pretty much every day after school. I get home late and then still have homework to do! -sigh- The joys of being a student. Oh well.

As apology for not updating for like... what? 2 weeks? ... Reviewers get.... 400 e-galleons and viewers get 60. Yes, I am trying to buy your forgiveness. Deal with it. =)

Get excited, next chapter is pretty intense.

Please review!!!


	59. Chapter 59

_**FIFTY-NINE-still same night**_

"Miss Evans!" Dumbledore said with a smile, "Please, take a seat and we can get to the bottom of this."

Lily sat in the seat as far away from the no longer bound Slytherin in question as possible. Professor McGonagall stood between her and Dumbledore's desk. Moody stood in the back of the room by the door, though it was a certainty he'd move.

"I would like to hear everyone's perspective of what happened, but do try to be as brief as possible. You are needed in the Great Hall and Professor McGonagall, Mr. Moody, and I have other things that must be done. Mr. Calvin, if you'd begin, please," Dumbledore entwined his fingers and waited.

"I was walking through the halls, a quick sweep, just to make sure no one had been left behind or anything, and then these four pop out of nowhere and ask what I'm doing by their tower! They didn't like me being there and pulled wands on me. What other choice did I have?"

Lily gripped the arms of her chair tightly and had to grit her teeth to keep from speaking out of turn.

"Thank you," Dumbledore said kindly and turned to the Gryffindor boys, "I assume all three of you will… wait... there's only three of you! Where is Mr. Pettigrew?"

"Pete fell asleep when we were on door duty," Sirius offered, "I was going to wake him up, but there were other people around."

"What method were you going to use this time?" James asked.

"I was going to pull a knife on him and start calling Squiddy really loud, but, as I said, there were young ones around and I decided not to scar them just yet."

"How kind of you," Remus added in sarcastically.

Professor McGonagall looked at her students strangely. Surely these weren't the same boys that had been ready to rip each other apart moments ago? She looked back towards Moody in question. He shrugged.

"Anyway, our side of the story!" Sirius said with joy. "We were headed towards the Tower to get some things for some of the students that they needed, and then our wands flew out of our pockets, Evans flew off with them, then we followed, found her being held captive, came up with a brilliant strategic plan, and conquered."

Dumbledore nodded. "Miss Evans?"

Lily took a deep breath and opened her mouth, "As Black said, we were going to the Tower to get things, and our wands flew out of our pockets and _he_ grabbed me and pulled me off to the side. He was saying weird things and – "

"What sort of 'weird things', Miss Evans?" Dumbledore interrupted.

Lily thought for a moment, "Well the thing he said that confused me the most was, 'Even though you're a mudblood, he sees potential!' He sounded the angriest when he said that, too."

"You called her a you-know-what?!" James flared up.

"That's not very nice, mate," Sirius actually sounded serious, a new sound to Professor McGonagall.

"Potter! Black! Shut your traps unless you're spoken to first!" Moody barked, though he was glaring at the Slytherin rather than them.

"She's lying! I don't use that word!" Mr. Calvin (the Slytherin) shouted.

"_I'm_ lying?" Lily made to get up but a hand on her shoulder prevented her. She looked back to see the transfiguration teacher behind her.

"If the students would please remain quiet. Miss Evans, continue," requested Dumbledore.

Lily tore her fiery gaze from Calvin and looked at Dumbledore as calmly as she could. "Yes, he was saying odd things like I just quoted, and then started making threats when Lupin, Black, and Potter caught up. Scuffles ensued, I was able to grab hold of a wand, and ended the fight."

"What would you like to say to defend yourself, Mr. Calvin?"

"I stick to my story! How else would I get this?" Calvin lifted up his robes a bit to reveal a nasty looking cut going from his knee to halfway down his leg. He pointed at Sirius, "That one pulled a knife on me!"

"Why would he stab you if, according to you, he had a wand?" Professor McGonagall asked, raising an eyebrow. Calvin had no response.

"What other injuries have we got?" Moody demanded. He looked at Potter, Black and Lupin first before moving onto Lily. "Evans?"

Lily figured the scratches on her face were obvious, and pulled back her sleeve to reveal the bruise that was turning all sorts of gross colors.

McGonagall fought back the urge to wince. She hated seeing her students in pain.

Moody twisted the girl's arm so he could see the other half of the bruise before walking across the office to the Slytherin. "Show me your hands."

"Excuse me?"

"Your hands, boy! Now!"

Calvin held out his hands immediately. Moody looked at them for a few moments, turning them this was and that before calling, "Evans, get over here."

Lily thought the man was being awfully rude and intended on staying right where she was. She didn't want to go near the Slytherin anyway.

"Evans!" Moody repeated, his patience obviously low.

Professor McGonagall gave her student a slight push. Lily looked back at her, unwillingness hardly concealed. The Professor responded only by raising both her eyebrows. Lily huffed and then slowly and reluctantly made her way over to Moody.

"Your bruise again, please," Moody said through his teeth. He hadn't experienced such disobedience since before he became an auror! What was wrong with this girl?!

Lily rolled up her sleeve to reveal the bruise that had become a shade darker since she showed it last. Moody looked at it, twisting it and looking at it at different angles, just as he had with Calvin's hands. After a few minutes he declared that it was Calvin who had grabbed Evans and held her arm tight for at least three minutes, judging by where the darker points were and how fast the bruise was changing color.

"NO I DID NOT!!" the Slytherin boy jumped out of his seat and exclaimed.

On a reflex, Lily threw her fist out and hit him right in the nose with a sickening crunch that caused most people in the room to wince. Blood was coming out of the boy's nose, and some rather unpleasant words coming out of his mouth. Lily rubbed her hand and did not seem to be sorry at all.

"Mr. Calvin, that is enough!" Dumbledore said sternly, "Miss Evans, you may return to your seat."

"She punched me! That filthy _mudblood_ punched me in the nose!! I hope he _kills_ you!" Calvin raged.

Lily cuffed her sleeves and made to get up from her seat again, but was stopped by the same hand that had prevented her earlier.

"Sit down, you idiot!" Moody snapped and forced the boy back into his chair.

Dumbledore flicked his wand and the boy's nose stopped pouring blood. Calvin kept muttering to himself as he wiped what blood he could off of his face.

"Mr. Calvin, do you realize that I have cause to expel you?" Dumbledore said gravely.

Calvin chuckled, and his demeanor changed dramatically. He leaned back in his chair. "I don't care. I know I'm gone. You can see right through me, never believed me for a second."

"Correct. However, before Mr. Moody escorts you off the grounds, I would like to know who this 'he' that you keep referring to is."

"You already know that, too," the Slytherin said. His eyes were growing colder…

"I confess I do not," stated Dumbledore.

"Ask McGonagall. I'm positive she knows." A smug smile spread across Calvin's face. All the attention in the room shifted from him to Professor McGonagall, who looked more tense than normal.

"You know what this means?" Moody hissed, "This means that you are going to Azkaban for certain. How long is a matter of your choice."

"As I'm well aware of, Moody." Now the voice had changed as well, sounding cruel, yet uncaring. "I'm well aware of more than you think, just like the Dark Lord is."

"Evans, Potter, Black, Lupin, back to the Great Hall!" McGonagall barked.

"No, they may stay," Dumbledore contradicted, "I think they can handle the situation." He looked at the boys knowingly, and they looked guilty and uneasy.

"Are you sure you don't want to protect them, Dumbledore? Shield them? Keep them from knowledge?" Calvin said slyly.

"As a matter a fact, I am. I'm currently more concerned about protecting you."

Lily scoffed in spite of herself at the Headmaster.

"I don't want or need your protection."

"No, I really think you do, Acario."

"Don't call me by my first name!" Calvin exclaimed.

"What's going to happen to you if you return back to him, Acario? You've failed. He isn't likely to forgive you. You'll be of no use to him."

Dumbledore's statements sent chills through Lily. She didn't understand how someone could willingly put themselves in such a situation, to be a slave.

"He'll be angry, no doubt, but I am still of use," Calvin shrugged off the temptation.

"You're of use to no one but dementors in prison, scum!" Moody interjected.

"Alastor! Calm down!" McGonagall requested, though she didn't sound calm at all.

"Well if there are no more questions, I've a message to deliver." Calvin's eyes glowed. He'd been waiting for this moment.

"Go ahead and speak it, then," Dumbledore said. He expected Calvin to speak to him, but was surprised.

Calvin's dark eyes swiveled to McGonagall. "He told me to tell you that you missed your opportunity to protect them. All of them. Now they'll all die. All the ones you love, the ones you would die for, the ones you won't be able to shelter forever. They will die, and then so will you." He smiled at the response he was getting.

Professor McGonagall was standing as tense as was possible, her back completely rigid, her lips were pursed, her eyes were burning, but she made no vocal response.

"You don't believe they'll die? All of the people in the room will be gone within five years!" Calvin let out another cruel chuckle.

The four fifth years didn't know how to react other than with fear that looked like anger.

"If either of you think that I don't know the same things would happen if I'd chosen a different side, you're _wrong_," McGonagall snarled.

"You keep telling yourself that. We'll see how your views have changed in a few years." Calvin turned towards Dumbledore. "You fool," he said simply. "You think he doesn't know about your phoenix lot? Bad move even starting that. All he needs is to flip one person, just one, and he knows _everything_. Everyone in the 'Order of the Phoenix' knows the same stuff, right? Another bad move."

"Say what you might, but I still have a few advantages," Dumbledore responded passively.

"What? That the Dark Lord doesn't know who's in it? _I_ know who's in it! McGonagall's in on it, so are Moody and Hagrid! I could go on, but what's the point of naming names we both already know?"

Dumbledore only smiled sadly. "I regret to inform you that now ends your free life. Mr. Moody will escort you to Azkaban."

Moody grabbed the Slytherin by the scruff of the neck eagerly and shoved him towards the door. The boy only laughed. "You all think you intimidate me! You're dead people walking! Gone, gone, gone! All of you! All the miserable seven of you will soon be gone along with others! Start saying your good-byes!" Moody slammed the office door shut and the racket from the boy stopped immediately.

Lily hadn't noticed that she was shaking. She felt a weight on her. _All the miserable seven of you._ She was included in that seven. She was only fifteen, and she had someone after her head.

Dumbledore looked old. Very old. He ran a hand over his face before picking up a quill and beginning to write.

"Do… do you think he meant it, sir?"

"Meant what, Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore responded without looking up.

"That we're doomed to die rather shortly?" James said as if it were obvious.

"I should hope not." The tired headmaster raised his head and put his quill back down. "I do not think you have cause to worry about anything other than schoolwork at the moment. Acario Calvin is unstable. I sincerely doubt he's ever met with Voldemort."

"But what if he has, sir? What if every word he said was true?"

"Then I would make amends with anyone you've hurt as soon as you can and work on learning how to defend yourself, but as I said, you do not have cause to worry presently."

"Professor Dumbledore, what's the 'Order of the Phoenix'?" Lily asked.

"Enough of the questions!" Professor McGonagall snapped when Dumbledore opened his mouth. "All of you go see Madame Pomfery and then get back to the Great Hall."

The students didn't bother arguing and rose to their feet and left.

The headmaster and his deputy shared a look of complete sorrow and fear. Voldemort was making too much progress too quickly, and it spelled everyone's doom.

* * *

I really think I have an addiction to the word doom.

And OMG! The dramatic irony. ...I have a lot of that in this story, actually... o_0

Please review and give me a mood boost. Seriously, I need one. HAHAHAA!!! CONNECTED THOUGHT!!!! Everyone look up 'Mood Rings' by Relient K right now. Pretty awesome song.

But in all seriousness, REVIEW!!! Reviewers will automatically revceive a chinchilla(?) or a rabbit. Your choice.

To those who have the ability to review and do not, think of someone you don't really like to be around. A sibling, some random kid at school that shoots you with rubber bands when the teacher isn't looking, that guy in the cubicle next to you who reads your email when you're at lunch... I will find that person you don't like, and I will give them 3 energy drinks and a bat and I will let them loose somewhere near you. Review or suffer a completely unnecessary punishment. Pwease? I really don't want to have to pay for the energy drinks...


	60. Chapter 60

Here to kick off your weekend...

* * *

_**SIXTY – VERY early the next morning**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

_**Lily**_

* * *

**James, if we weren't in the Great Hall surrounded by innocent ones, I would completely and utterly destroy you. **

_Seconded! You IDIOT, James! _

_**I thought it was just girls that had mood swings! Yeesh!**_

**Bug off, Evans!**

_**What's with the whole kill each other one moment, friends the next, kill after that again, thing?**_

_Were we supposed to act like a broken front in front of the enemy? Sorry, missed the memo!_

_**Remus! I didn't do anything! Stop snapping at me!**_

**Unhand the paper and he will!**

What will make you guys shut up about it?

**Me throwing you into the lake… or maybe the whomping willow…**

_Nah, it might hurt the willow. James's head is so thick I doubt it can have any damage to it. _

**Point taken…**

Are you finished yet?

**Oh no… you've got a long time left on your punish-o-meter.**

_But we can save that for when we get to go back to the privacy of our dorm room!_

**Ah, indeed we can, O brilliant one!**

_So for now, onto the new topic of discussion! The threats!_

**McGonagall's first!**

_Agreed. Anyone else think Voldemort is getting persistent to the point of creepy?_

Is he just now beginning to creep you out? The pointless murdering and the carving into hands didn't do anything for you?

_Well those things made me want to throw up… or throw something. This is creepy. How does he know about the Order?_

_**Do you know what the Order of the Phoenix is?**_

**Butt out, Evans!!!**

_**YOU DO KNOW!**_

_**How do you know?**_

**EVANS! Go away! **

_**Not until you tell me how you know!**_

My parents were offered to join.

* * *

"They were?" Sirius mouthed.

James bobbed his head up and down but was mouthing "no".

* * *

_**Well what is it?!**_

**The Order of the Phoenix?**

_**YES!**_

**It's the Order of the Phoenix! Haven't you been paying attention?**

_**Black…**_

**Evans…**

_**I'm not getting an answer, am I?**_

Please hold as we discuss!

* * *

Lily expected the boys to move, but they only began moving their hands rapidly, one boy after the other. Sign language. She crossed her arms and huffed angrily.

After another minute or so, Black put his quill back to the parchment.

* * *

**We have reached a verdict!**

_You aren't getting an answer._

Stop giving us that look! It's scaring me!

_**I'm already in a bad mood and you lot dare push my patience?**_

**Pfft. You're no threat. We deal with McGonagall's wrath on a regular basis. **

Yeah, but she actually likes us and wouldn't bring us harm, Padfoot.

_**More than that! She'd die for you! Weren't YOU paying attention?**_

**Any teacher would die for us. Its part of their job. **

_**Well yeah, but they'd do it because of that, it being part of their job. **_

…**And your point is?**

…_whoahhhh. I see it!_

**HEY! Point!**

_**Why did Acario Calvin threaten us? Think, Black!**_

**I am, and I still don't see your point.**

_**He said Voldemort would kill "all the ones you love"!**_

**Well yeah, of course McGonagall loves us! We're only her favorite students ever!**

_**Can't you take this seriously?!**_

**I AM taking this seriously! My FIRST name is Sirius! I take everything seriously!**

_**You're such a pain, Black! You're head's almost as thick as Potter's if you don't see my point! Gosh!**_

Aaaannd… off she goes to talk to Alice.

**Good. She shouldn't be bugging into our notes anyway. **

_She does have a good point though._

**I know. **

Yeah… I hadn't really thought of it before.

_Its kind of scary to think about. There are people out there willing to die for us!_

**And people out there wanting to kill us…**

For serious, this time.

* * *

Wow... its been a while since I updated... Uhmm... I love you all?

Forgive me, yes? Yes? Siiii?

Anyway, yes. I know someone asked for funny moments returning, and they should be shortly... I think... But thank you so much for telling me what you want in the story! Seriously people, I want to hear what you want to read! Send me a message or tell me in a review!

Speaking of reviews... all of you that failed to review... I just purchased the energy drinks and bats. Beware.

To all those who did review, you're pretty freakin AWESOME! :D

And finally, to all.... Review for this chapter! I'm off to listen to more Disney Classic movie songs and do "homework"... But I think I can stand being pulled away from it to read what you thought about this chapter! Reviewers will get... uhm... uhh... um... a... ooo!!!! A batch of e-brownies!!!! Yummy stuff! I'll also send you .... 250 e-galleons. Good deal, no? Chocolate and money! Come on, ya'll.

Viewers... I'm only going to give you 5 e-knuts, because I have my setting set so anyone can review, even if you don't have an account. What have you got to lose be reviewing?

Wow... oober long author's note... Ok. Leaving now! Review! Bye!


	61. Chapter 61

_**SIXTY-ONE – A few days later, after classes start again**_

_**Lily**_

_Severus_

* * *

_Are you okay? I'm sorry I wasn't able to talk to you earlier!_

_**I'm fine, now. **_

_I can't believe Acario, ACARIO, snapped like that!_

…_**Are you defending him, Severus?**_

_No! Just saying that I would never have expected him to do such a thing!_

**I would say that he's a Slytherin and therefore can be expected to do any sort of hideous thing… but you're a Slytherin, Snape, so you can't really see that…**

_**Really, Black?**_

**What, Evans?**

_**Don't you have a conversation on paper going on with Lupin and Potter?**_

**Yeah, but they're slow writers.**

_**Let's try that again. Touch this paper again and your head goes into your cauldron.**_

**Is that any way to talk to someone who saved your life?**

_**You didn't save my life, Black.**_

**Fine! Next time we'll walk away.**

_**Yeah, like there'll be a next time.**_

**You never know! **

_**Your head in the cauldron in 10… 9… 8…**_

**Yeesh! Alright, fine, Mini-McGonagall.**

_**You could have helped me make him go away, you know!**_

_I tried, but he kept taking the paper before I could write anything!_

_Now what happened?_

_**You heard the story, I'm sure.**_

_Yeah, I did. But what did he say to you?_

_**Threats you'd expect from a crazy person. Nothing major.**_

_Oh, come on, Lily! I can tell that you're lying!_

_**-sigh-**_

_**He said, "Even though you're a mudblood he sees potential." Dumbledore got him to admit that the 'he' is Voldemort. Who talks like that? "Sees potential," Pah.**_

_He called you a mudblood?!_

_**Yeah. But I got to punch him later. So I'll consider that revenge. **_

_And then he said that You-Know-Who sees potential in you?_

_**He's crazy! Voldemort's never seen me and its not like my name is floating around the wizarding world for some great feat or anything.**_

_**And saying You-Know-Who? Really?**_

_Habit. Say his real name in the common room and you get hexed by someone. _

_**Your house is so messed up.**_

_Yeah, like Gryffindor has room to talk with Potter and Black. _

_**At least people in Gryffindor don't go hexing people for no reason… in the common room, at least.**_

_But you all do transfigure first years into parrots._

_**I STILL can't believe Black and Potter did that! **_

_I can't believe the first years fell for it! "Just stand there for a minute. No, everyone goes through this first year. Its part of the initiation into Gryffindor."_

_**First years from any house will believe anything you tell them. **_

_Whatever you say, Lily. _

_**Don't try to start this argument again, Sev! I always win.**_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah._

* * *

I'm aware that this chapter is ridiculously short... but I couln't think of anything else to stick onto the end to make it longer. So I'll try to update in a few days.

Please, pretty please, review. Unfortunately, due to the economy's current predicament, I can only give reviewers 100 e-galleons at this point in time. That will hoepfully change very shortly. The e-galleons will automatically be added to your e-account.

Viewers will automatically recieve 10 e-sickles.

Now, please, review. Click the green button... its fun....


	62. Chapter 62

_**SIXTY-TWO – Later in the day**_

* * *

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_Things are finally settling down!_

_For now, yes. _

_Thank you for killing the mood, once again. _

_It's a gift._

**You don't really think he'll try Hogsmeade again?**

_Oh, no. He'll be more direct next time._

Merlin's beard, Minerva! Stop being so pessimistic!

_I am NOT being pessimistic! I'm being realistic! There's a difference!_

Yes, there is. But you are NOT being realistic!

_You keep thinking that. In the meantime, I'm going to try to figure out a defense to the Avada Kedavra. _

Let's all calm down a bit, shall we? It is in times like this, especially, that we shouldn't be fighting over small matters.

_I hardly consider this a 'small matter'.  
_

My point is that arguing won't help anything.

It relieves stress.

No, it causes it.

_No, I think you do._

You took the words from my mouth.

**Technically, ink from your quill.**

_A sign of something normal!_

**Normal?**

_Minerva and Pomona are starting to pin things on Albus again!_

…Oh joy.

_Its also the first time they've agreed in weeks!_

…**Impressive!**

_Haha. Thank you for your sarcasm._

_Who's showing sarcasm? I'm being completely serious. _

_Of course you are. _

_Oh wow… only three more months until the summer…_

HOORAH!!!

_No! No hoorah! The students have to go home!_

Haven't we agreed for the past 20 years that that's a GOOD thing?

_When there isn't a mass murdering mad man running around!_

The students will be fine.

_Maybe the wizarding families! What are the Muggle-borns going to be doing?_

What's-his-face won't go for them.

_Yes, he will! They're the ones he wants gone the most!!!_

Tabs will be kept on them, Minerva. Stop worrying so much.

_Who will the tabs be kept by? Not just us, certainly! There are probably already tabs on them!_

Worrying isn't going to do them any good! Calm down!

_Ughh! I hate this! I hate all of it! One shouldn't have to constantly watch their backs and sleep with an eye open! I HATE WAR!_

Wow… I haven't seen Minerva snap like that since sixth year.

**Indeed. She just, quite literally, stomped out of the library. Even Madame Pince didn't say anything. **

_I quite agree, though. _

Of course you do! Who likes war? The people that start them aren't ever really war hungry. Its all for personal gain. Uck. People disgust me.

**Especially when they don't bathe.**

…

Horace… go to bed.

**What'd I do this time?**

If you can't figure it out on your own, you won't get it if someone explains it to you. Slytherin.

**What does my House have anything to do with this?**

Just a general insult.

**I miss arguing with Minerva! Its more fun!**

Well Minerva is too busy to argue as of late.

**Unfortunate that. **

Mmhmm…. Anyway, back on topic. Go to sleep Horace!

**Fine!**

…**Where'd my Teddy Bear go?**

* * *

_**Boys Dorm**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

I think we should give Slughorn his teddy bear back…

**But its so cute and plushie!**

But its his teddy bear! He needs it to sleep!

Hate to break it to you, Pete, but not everyone needs their stuffed animals to sleep.

Yes they do…

**OK… Anyway! Come on, boys. We have a mission to accomplish!**

_Oh no… what is it this time?_

**We have detention!**

_That's not a mission._

**Yes it is, lad!**

_NO! NOT THE ACCENT AGAIN!!!_

**Now, our mission is to go to our detention in high spirits to cheer up our favorite Scottish professor!**

Aye! Let's go, lads!

_One of these days I will look like an intelligent being while around you lot. _

Psshhh. Like we'd let you do that.

_I love my friends… I love my friends… I love my friends…_

* * *

Yeah... not the quick update we were all hoping for. I apologize. People in my life have been acting as agents of Lucifer and keeping me too busy to allow me any down time. :(

However, the important thing is that I've finally done it. I updated! YAY!!!!

Uhh... Lucifer is back. I gotta go. Please review! I'll give you... uhhmm... a fuzzy kitty cat! Meow!

If you're allergic to kitty cats, I'll get you some allergy medicine too. Geez. The things I do for you.

Buh-bye for now! Review!

P.S. Next couple of chapters will make you go "Awwwwe!" and all that fun. In essence, they're pretty exciting. :D


	63. Chapter 63

_**SIXTY-THREE – Order of the Phoenix meeting, weeks later**_

"Good evening!" Dumbledore said happily as he sat down in his chair.

"Evening?" snapped Marlene McKinnon, "It's two in the morning, Dumbledore!"

"Oh, hush, Marley! You don't have to go to work tomorrow!" Minerva said lazily from the other side of the table. Her eyes were closed and she held her head up with her hand.

Marley looked like she wanted to throw something, but that look quickly turned to joy as Alastor suddenly pulled Minerva's arm out from under her head.

After recovering somewhat, Minerva looked at Alastor murderously. He only smiled annoyingly. "Are you feeling awake now?"

"If you're through acting like students…" Dumbledore called.

"I am!" Marley said with a bounce. Minerva rolled her eyes in response.

* * *

"James! Sirius! You're running to fast! I can't keep up!" Peter whined.

"Pete! Shush!" Sirius whispered once he'd come to a halt. "If we're caught again McGonagall will have our heads!"

"How would that work?" Peter failed to whisper and both his friends shushed him at the same time.

"Never mind, Wormy," Sirius tried not to sound aggravated.

"Hey! Padfoot! Do you hear what I hear?" James suddenly went into a very mischievous mood.

"This is no time for Christmas carols, Prongs!"

"No, seriously! Listen!"

James and Sirius turned towards the source of the noises, the voices they heard. The staffroom. Their ears were against the door in seconds.

* * *

"Why not do what I suggested last time? Get someone in there! We'd have access to his plans!" Alastor snapped. 15 minutes had gone by and all that the Order had done was add on to the list of people they knew were dead.

"That's too much for us to ask of anyone, Alastor!" Edgar Bones said, "You might as well ask someone to dive in front of the Avada Kedavra!"

"Agreed!" Dorcas Meadows voiced. "He'd be able to tell that we weren't actually into it. He's not stupid. If he was our lives would be a lot easier."

"There is one person we might be able to get away with…" Alastor turned to the woman on his right.

"No," Minerva said flatly.

"Oh, come on! He's already asked you, and we know he'd still accept you! That and you can be a great actress. Act as if you're sick of so much being asked of you. Act like you couldn't take not making progress."

Minerva's hand slammed down onto the table. "Enough!"

Alastor put his hands up. "Fine."

After a slight pause, Dorcas spoke up again, "What if we get a new member to do it? Recruit someone and send them in."

"That won't work,' Edgar replied. "How do we know we can trust them?"

"True, but how else can we do it? He certainly wouldn't fall for any of us."

"We just have to wait for the right opportunity," Edgar said solemnly.

"I hate waiting," Marlene commented.

"This conversation about spies isn't getting us anywhere. Can we move on, please?" asked Fabian Prewett.

"Yeah. Let's get to the people who we know are 'Death Eaters'! That's always the fun part," Gideon added.

"Death Eaters. What a dumb name. They should have been the 'Eaters of Death.' It'd look much better on a business card." Fabian's comment forced most people to smile and chuckle.

* * *

"James! Sirius! Peter! Really?" Remus said as he came around a corner. "You're almost done with your detentions! Don't get more!"

"All the teachers are asleep and you won't give us a detention, Remmy. Shush!" James snapped in a whisper.

"He won't, but I will!" Lily said as she also came into view.

"Evans," Sirius said, his eyes glowed, "do you still want to know what the Order of the Phoenix is?" Lily's eyes showed her answer. Sirius grinned. Success!

* * *

"Well forget the Death Eaters on the outside if there may be some inside the school!" Gideon said quickly after the story of Acario Calvin.

"The Death Eaters on the outside will be able to do more damage! We need to continue looking at them!" Edgar said, with every indication of taking the argument further.

"They wreak more havoc now, but if there are Death Eaters in school, they will convince their peers to join, and no one can stay a student at Hogwarts forever," Marley retorted.

"I can assure you," Dumbledore said loudly, demanding attention, "with certainty, that Acario was the only Death Eater here and that there are not others."

"How do you kn… Albus…" Minerva said. Color started rising to her face. "Tell me you didn't."

"Didn't what?" Dumbledore asked with innocence.

"Albus! You did! You can't use Legilimens on students!" Minerva was thoroughly outraged.

"What's wrong with it if its to find Death Eaters?" Alastor inquired.

"Students will find out, which will lead to parents finding out, leading to the Ministry finding out, leading to Dumbledore being fired and Voldemort becoming aware and using such a power for himself!"

"Well, I think its worth it," Marley said, "As long as we know the students are safe, right, Minerva?"

It was clear to everyone that that comment started an internal battle within the Transfiguration professor.

"To put minds at ease, I have not been using Legilimens on students. I have, however, for lack of a better word, gained ears into the Common Rooms, and several of the dormitories," Dumbledore said calmly.

"Uhh… I don't want to know how that happened, but I am curious as to how that will help us? Students do keep secrets, Dumbledore." Fabian tried not to sound rude.

"They keep secrets from us, Fabian. Not from each other. Several of Acario's friends knew about his out of school life. If someone rises to take Acario's place, I'll know about it."

Nearly Headless Nick suddenly floated through the wall. "Headmaster Dumbledore! I carry news from your brother!"

"No need to be so formal, Nicholas. What news?" Dumbledore asked.

"Assistance is required at the Bones' house immediately!"

"No!" Edgar yelled in distress. He was out of his chair and headed towards the door in a flash to go defend his family.

"Gideon, Fabian, Marlene, go with him!" Dumbledore said without hesitation.

The three selected were gone within seconds. The rest of the Order knew the meeting was over and welcomed the opportunity to go home. Minerva and Alastor began to head out with the Prewetts and Marley.

"No… you two stay," Dumbledore demanded. "If you go you won't come back."

"Then we're dooming the Bones family and three other members?" Minerva snarled.

"No. Acario's friends spoke of this possibility. Voldemort is hoping you will show. It's a trap, and I won't let both of you fall into it."

"Who cares if it means the survival of everyone in that house?" Alastor demanded.

"You will both stay here!" Dumbledore instructed. "Edgar has prepared his house for such an event, I assure you his wife and children are safe."

Alastor headed for the door, going home.

"Did you not hear, Alastor? I asked you to remain _here_," Dumbledore repeated.

"My house isn't safe either?"

Dumbledore shook his head.

"Good. I'll go finish off some of them off then." He was out the door before Dumbledore could stop him.

Minerva seemed stuck where she was for a moment, but then she dashed out the door as well.

Dumbledore ran a hand over his face and began hoping with everything he had that all the Order would be able to return safely.

* * *

Look at me! Updating just a few days after the last one!!

Yes, cliffie, I know. I do apologize. I'll try not to leave you for too long!

Someone needs to steal my Drama Queen crown so I can get back to humor! :(

I really like the next chapter, and I wrote it! That's saying a lot, to me at least. Hoorah!

I shall give you lovely reviewers 250 e-galleons. And you better appreciate it because I've had to work over time to get it! Madame Rosemerta has been absolutely brutal as of late. As I said, the things I do for you!

Viewers... I give you... a big thank you. ...stop looking ungrateful. I've almost emptied my Gringott's account to pay the reviewers. However, you can get lost more than a big thank you if you review! You know you can...

Review!!!! Pwease? Please? Por Favor? ...I'm out of ways to ask... I love reviews! Reviews are my favorite!


	64. Chapter 64

_**SIXTY-FOUR – same night, secret passage way**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

_**Lily**_

* * *

_Paper? Yes? Talking isn't a great idea now if we want to avoid being caught._

_**What are they doing?! Just two people going to a house full of Voldemort followers?! Its suicidal!**_

**Its McGonagall and Moody. **

_**They seemed like sensible people!**_

They ARE sensible people.

_**Obviously not!**_

They know what they're doing. They'll be fine.

_**FINE?!**_

_Fine. _

_**What is wrong with you all?**_

_Nothing. McGonagall and Moody have been friends since her first year. They worked as aurors together for a while, and now they've fought together in the Order. One knows how the other works, fights, and thinks. As a team, they can take on so many more than two Death Eaters. _

_**And you aren't nervous at all? We might lose our Head of House!**_

Naw.

**Moody'd take whatever's thrown at her. **

_**Then we lose the Head of the Aurors!**_

A possibility that he's geared himself up for ever since he chose his career.

_**Why would Moody take a curse for her anyway?**_

**Oh my gosh! Why do girls ask so many questions?!?!?!?!?**

_They're friends, Lily. They love each other._

_NOT like that! Stop looking horrified. Look, you love Alice, don't you?_

_**Of course…**_

_You'd jump in front of a curse for her, wouldn't you?_

_**Well, yeah…**_

_Then you see my point. _

_**Then what's to stop McGonagall from jumping in front of Moody?**_

Moody being just a touch faster than her.

_**How do you know that?**_

**-laughter-**

**One time, last year, we four were out on the grounds after dark, and Moody kept trying to make McGonagall angry. She snapped and started firing spells at him… and then… **

She lost.

**Then Sprout came out of nowhere… but that's a different story entirely…**

Indeed it is.

_**Two questions…**_

**Only two?**

_**What were you all doing out on the grounds after dark?**_

After a while, sneaking around the castle gets a little boring. We know it like the back of our hands.

… _**Ok… second. How did you not get caught? I mean, we are talking about McGonagall here. **_

**Oh, getting caught on the grounds is not an issue. Seriously, we've snuck into her office while she's still in it. **

_**???**_

_Sirius, shut up._

**But confusing Evans is so much fun!**

I have a question now!

Remus, Evans, what were you doing out in the halls at 2 in the morning?

_Patrol, James._

I thought that ended at midnight?

_**Dumbledore changed the times this year. You only think all the teachers are asleep. **_

_Usually only the teacher's are out until 2, but Dumbledore asked us all to stay out tonight. _

Is that how Flitwick knew we set the stairs to turn to slides in December?

_Yup._

I didn't see him anywhere.

_**That's the point.**_

Uhh… Question! Can people under invisibility cloaks see other people under cloaks?

**No. We would have seen Flitwick then. **

Then how'd he see us?

**Pete was probably wearing his white shoes again.**

Those must be disposed of, Peter!

But I don't have any other shoes!

We'll make you some. But the white ones have got to go.

No!

**We'll make you some black one's Pete, and the toes will be shiny. **

Ok!

…_**Wow…**_

_**Anyway… I still think that was really stupid of them, and I'm still thinking one of them won't be able to return!!**_

Would you like to go wait for their return?

_**Go sit in the Entrance Hall and wait. That sounds like a bright idea. **_

**No… There's a different place, but I really don't think we should show you.**

Oh, come on.

**No, Prongs. **

_-sigh-_

_Lily, do you trust us?_

…_**Are you seriously asking me that question?**_

_Let me rephrase. Do you trust me?_

…_**Sometimes…**_

_Ok, trust me this time. Trust US, this time. _

Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Remus?

_I think so…_

Fantastic!

Evans, close your eyes, keep them shut, and keep moving forward.

_**Yeah… that coming from you, Potter? Not happening.**_

I swear on Sirius's life we aren't going to let anything happen to you.

**I don't appreciate this whole, 'swearing on Sirius's life' thing.**

…_**Alright. Fine. Black's life. Let's go. **_

* * *

Once Lily had closed her eyes Sirius showed James a frowned upon hand sign. James only chuckled and offered his hand to Lily. "Ready?"

"No, but I'll pretend like I am," she responded.

"Just to be clear, we are going to where I think we're going, right?" James asked.

"Yep. Right behind the 6," Remus responded.

"Got it!" James said and started moving with his friends.

* * *

It took almost 20 minutes to reach their destination. A large wooden door stood in front of them.

"You may want to open your eyes for this part, Evans," Sirius chuckled.

Lily opened her eyes and rubbed them. She blinked several times when Sirius threw open the door to reveal an endless room filled with gears and thin wooden planks going from here to there.

"The clock tower!" Peter squealed. "Be sure not to fall! To the window!!!" And then he started in, with skill. He looked quite unlike the usual Peter who could hardly walk on a flat surface without tripping every other step.

Sirius followed Peter in, and Remus went after Sirius.

"Ladies first," James smirked and made a grand gesture with his arm to invite Lily to go first. She took her first step onto the first thin wooden beam and already began to feel dizzy.

James went in after her and shut the door behind him.

"I always hate this part right here!" Sirius shouted for his friends to hear. Lily took her eyes off her feet for a moment just in time to watch Sirius jump from the thin plank he was on to another, five feet away. She swayed and almost fell. She heard Sirius laughing at her. "Its not as bad as it looks, Evans! If Petey can do it, anyone can do it!" He took another leap to the next plank.

Lily was suddenly determined. She was not going to let herself look like an idiot for the 'Marauders' to see. She picked up pace and was to and over the part Sirius had been at in half the time it had taken him.

"Impressive, Evans!" Sirius smiled. He ducked as a bat flew over him. "Ugh! Stupid things! I swear they only come out when we come in!" Another one flew over him. "Stupid Snape-look-a-likes," he muttered, too quiet for Lily to hear, but it made Peter laugh.

Lily looked around them. There was no place to go. All the beams that they needed to get to in order to get to the window were too far off.

"For this next part," Remus shouted over the squeaking gears, "You can't hesitate!" He jumped onto one of the oversized gears and waited until it brought him up to one going to opposite direction. He jumped onto the other one, bringing him closer to the giant window that was their goal.

Lily swallowed. She wished she hadn't wanted to go along.

James chortled from behind her. "I'll let you know when you need to jump."

She looked at him momentarily. He'd taken his glasses off for this part. He looked so different. "Can you even see anything?"

"I can see enough. I have to take the glasses off. Last time I left them on for this bit, they fell off. It took almost an hour to summon all the pieces back up to us, and even then I had to ask Mum and Dad to get me a new pair. That was fun, coming up with a story." He smiled. "Come on, Sirius is going to start poking fun at you if you don't move soon."

Lily turned towards the gear and took a deep breath before jumping on. A few seconds later, she heard James shout to her to jump, and she did. After that getting to the rest of the gears didn't seem like such a great feat at all. She caught up to Remus, Sirius, and Peter and waited with them on a platform for James.

"And the rest is just as easy as the beginning," Peter said happily as he took a step out onto the planks.

In what seemed like no time at all, the group had finally made it to the big, circular, numbered window that was the clock's face.

Lily gasped at all that she could see. There was Hogsmeade, all its lights off, the Forbidden Forest, with birds shooting up into the sky every once and a while, and then the grounds. She could see the Giant Squid floating near the top of the lake.

"Oh, the things we've seen from up here!" Sirius smiled. "Do you remember, third year, the Quidditch match?"

"How could anyone forget that? Slughorn on a broom… Who knew one could support him?" James was suddenly lost in a memory.

"It was a match among the teachers?" Lily asked, shocked.

"Oh yeah," Remus said. Even he was smiling. "You wouldn't know it by looking at any of them, but our professors can play!"

"It's a shame they stopped," Peter said with a frown.

"Stopped? How long had they been playing?" Lily was hungry for information. She'd known the professors had lives other than teaching, of course, but she'd never really thought about it.

"Oh, they'd probably been playing for years! They stopped half way through last year, though," James responded, his smile also turning upside down.

"Why?"

Remus looked at Lily as if she should have known. "Students only think that Voldemort hasn't affected Hogwarts. The staff's trying to act normal, let us have a break from all that's going on outside the walls, but it's extraordinarily hard. The war's tearing them apart."

"Yup. McGonagall's started actually being nice to and agreeing with Dumbledore, Slughorn's become paranoid, Sprout's really upset with McGonagall, Dumbledore doesn't joke with the staff anymore, Flitwick's trying to keep everyone together with all he's got, but he's starting to have less and less of an effect," James stared out the window blankly.

Lily struggled to form her sentence, "How do you know all of this stuff?"

Sirius started talking quickly to avert Lily's attention from James, who'd stiffened, noticing his mistake. "After having months of detentions with each professor, you just start noticing things."

Lily felt anger begin to well up in her. "I hate it when good friends like that start drifting."

"Join the club," James said.

"The really depressing thing is that this is probably just what Voldemort wants. If the staff is falling apart, imagine what kind of hell the Ministry must be," Sirius commented before sitting on the window sill.

* * *

YAY UPDATE!

You people without accounts are killing me! I want to respond to your reviews so bad!!! You guys ask really good questions! :( I can tell those people now though, that most of your questions will be answered. Maybe not in the detail that you wish, but will be answered.

I finally have time to write this week! So hopefully I write a bunch of chapters and then I can feel comfortable with updating faster. YAY!

I really really really really really really REALLY want to know what you (yes, YOU, right there... staring at this and wondering why there is so much in parenthesis. Parenthesis is a funny word...) thought of this chapter! Please review and let me know! I'll automatically add 300 very shiny e-galleons into your e-account simply for typing out a couple of sentances! Yes, there will be shiny things in your account.


	65. Chapter 65

_**SIXTY-FIVE**_

20 minutes went by in silence, and each minute it grew thicker. Until, finally, Lily squealed with delight. "Look! Look! Someone's appeared outside the gate!"

Sirius jumped up from where he'd almost fallen asleep on the window sill to look.

"It's McGonagall! She's back!" Lily clapped.

"Don't rejoice just yet. Where's Moody?" Sirius said.

Professor McGonagall seemed to be wondering the same thing as she turned around a few times and failed to see the auror. She disapparated.

Mere seconds after McGonagall disappeared, Fabian, Gideon, and then Marlene McKinnon appeared. They rushed through the gates and started running towards the main doors. McGonagall reappeared outside the gate, clinging to a fallen figure's wrist. She hauled it through the gates and then slammed them shut. The three Order members turned around and headed towards their comrades.

"No! No, he's hurt! I told you that there was reason to worry!" Lily was close to hysterics once she'd identified Moody.

A silvery creature sprouted from a wand and flew through the night into the school.

"I wish we could hear what was happening!" cried Lily.

"Wish granted in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" James counted down as Remus pointed his wand at the window. Suddenly everything being said down on the grounds was being heard crystal clear from the clock tower.

* * *

"What happened?" Marlene asked as she knelt to the ground next to Minerva to check Alastor's pulse.

"I – I don't know! We were going to disapparate, we thought we'd gotten all of them to leave, or gotten them down. I got to the gates and he wasn't there!" Minerva said in a rush. "What about the Bones?"

"They're all fine," Fabian answered, "Mrs. Bones had set up a portkey to her sister's place weeks ago. She activated it and off the kids went. Then she raised hell and held her own until we all got there. She and Edgar are at her sister's now."

"The Ministry's records are already fixed. That portkey never existed," Gideon said, then gave his brother a high-five.

Minerva nodded and got up as Poppy Pomfery opened the main doors and started running towards the group.

All Poppy had to do was look at Minerva to get what information she wanted. And that was all she needed to start ranting as she set to work. "How many did you try to take on this time? I told you both last time not to bite off more than you could chew! Why don't you ever listen? You've never listened!"

Minerva hardly noticed the matron's ranting as she put both hands to her head and seemed to want to rip her hair out. She'd done it now. She'd brought one of her closest friends to the edge of death.

"It's Alastor, Minerva. I'm sure he'll be fine," Marlene said soothingly and patted Minerva's shoulder.

"We shouldn't have gone," was all Minerva said.

"…And furthermore, you should have checked to make sure there was no one else before leaving your partner behind!" Poppy said, finishing her rant. "Come on, then! He needs to be pinned down for a couple of days!"

A stretcher appeared and Fabian and Gideon lifted their fallen friend onto it. Poppy began guiding the now floating stretcher towards the door, towards the hospital wing. The rest of the group followed.

* * *

"Remus! Tag one of them! Hurry! We're going to lose them…" James snapped his fingers out of nervousness.

Remus's wand had already been flying through the air when James had started speaking. He finished just in time. The main doors closed, but the fifth years could still hear what was going on.

* * *

Finally up in the hospital wing, Poppy wasted no time in getting Alastor settled into one of the beds and beginning her work. She flew back and forth between cabinets, fetching potions and looking things up.

"Well, what's wrong, Madame Pomfery?" Fabian asked.

"I'm still not entirely sure, Mr. Prewett," she snapped. "If any of you would like to be of use, you can go fetch Dumbledore."

"On it, ma'am!" The Prewett twins saluted the matron before marching out of the wing.

"There's no need to lollygag!" Poppy called after them. The in-step footfalls stopped and turned into the random pattern of running. "Goodness," she started, "Ever since I met them in their 6th year! Can't ever take anything seriously! Everything's a joke!"

"Not everything is a joke to them, Poppy," Minerva said.

Alastor suddenly groaned and tried to sit up.

"Lay back down, Alastor. You're not going anywhere," Poppy snapped.

Alastor swore under his breath. He hated being in the infirmary more than anywhere. "Where's Minerva?"

"Here," Minerva responded. "I'm fine."

"What about the Bones?"

Marlene responded this time. "They're all safe. The children hardly even knew what was going on before they got sent off."

"Edgar got off, as well?"

"Yep. At his sister-in-law's with the rest of the family," Marlene smiled. They'd succeeded.

"The portkey his wife used never officially existed, yes?"

"Correct! Fabian and Gideon took care of it. I didn't ask how. I decided it'd be best not to know. Deniability, you know."

"Having deniability is always a good thing. Especially with those two." Alastor sat up, despite Poppy's protests. "Where are they, anyway?"

"Getting Dumbledore. They should be back soon." Marlene looked at her watch.

"No use in you staying up here. You've done your jobs," Minerva noticed that he used a plural, meaning he was talking to her too.

Marlene gave a sigh of relief. "Thanks! Bob's probably been up to relieve himself and is now wondering where I am." She rolled her eyes and smiled widely. "Time to come up with a story! I'll see you all later!" She left the hospital wing just as Dumbledore and the Prewetts came in. Minerva missed her chance to leave… or so she thought.

"Alright, children!" Dumbledore said with cheer, "Its past curfew and I really think you all better get to bed."

Fabian and Gideon were only too happy to oblige. "Yes, Professor!" Fabian said before skipping out.

"See you later, Moody!" Gideon waved before following his twin out the door.

Minerva merely waved, then left the wing and closed the doors behind her. Once a safe distance away, she stomped the rest of the way to her quarters and threw herself in front of her desk to catch up on paperwork. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.

* * *

Sirius stood up. "Alright, show's over, it's near 5. I think we'd better get back to our dorms to clean up and sleep a bit before classes, don't you think?"

"What?" Peter snapped, "I thought today was Friday!"

"Well… _now_ it is," Remus said, "Has been for 5 hours, actually."

"Back to normal, I see," Lily said with her hands on her hips.

"Well, what else is there to do, Evans? If you think of something, let us know," Sirius said before beginning the journey back through the gears and planks.

Lily tried her hardest to think of something to retort with, but came up empty. Instead, she stepped onto the plank after Peter and Remus.

* * *

Alas, the Order is not invincible. That'd be awesome if they were... -goes off into daydream-

Anyway... humor really is going to return shortly, I promise! Just sit tight for a bit.

Please tell me what you thought of this chapter! 300 e-galleons will automatically be added to your e-account for it! Yes, really! 300 e-galleons in your e-account to buy e-Hogwarts supplies for your next online magic course.


	66. Chapter 66

Sorry to burst some of your bubbles, but if something happened in canon, its going to happen in this story. Just want to make that clear, in case any of you though I was going to like... not actually have people die. Sad fact of life. It happens. Because people are messed up. Jeez, I hate stupid people. ANYWAYS!!!! Kickin' off your weekend, here we go!

* * *

_**SIXTY-SIX – the next day, during transfiguration**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Sirius, keep Petey up!

**I will if I can keep myself up!**

Stop poking me, Sirius!

**Stop falling asleep!**

I can't help it! I'm so tired!

**Well act as if you aren't! If we act too tired than McGonagall's going to begin to wonder why. **

_Of all the times that drama could have happened, it had to happen two weeks before O.W.L.S. _

Two weeks? Really?

**I'd say that snuck up on us pretty fast.**

_I've been telling you to study for months!_

**Sorry. I didn't realize you thought we were actually paying attention…**

_Hahaha. _

McGonagall's looking at us funny. I think we aren't being lively enough.

**Eh. We'll prove how alive we are next class. **

What do we have next?

**Potions.**

Boo! Slughorn will let us off with anything. Won't work. What do we have after potions?

**Charms.**

Awesome! We'll do something then!

_Ugh! I want coffee!_

We've already had 4 cup of some fairly strong stuff. I don't know if more caffeine is what we need.

_Well we can't exactly take a nap. _

**Sure we can! Slughorn never takes attendance. We'll just go sleep during that class. **

_No. It's too close to O.W.L.S. We can't miss any classes. _

We might as well be missing the class for all the attention we're paying.

_Eh. Let's maintain the image anyway._

How is Evans so awake? Jeez!

_Because she probably slept instead of getting the bright idea to have a rubber band war when she got back to her dorm room!_

**Well she missed out, because that rubber band fight was amazing. **

_I think my parents were right to tell me to stay away from you in third year, Sirius._

**Psssh. Your parents love me. **

_Now they do. And that's because you were polite when you visited over the summer._

**I know. Fantastic trick, is it not?**

_Go jump in the lake, Black._

**What'd I do?**

_I don't know. Just do it._

**Uh… with what strength I have at the moment, I think I'd drown.**

Pete fell asleep again, Sirius

**-takes book and slams it loudly onto Peter's desk-**

* * *

_Thanks for getting us detention tonight, Sirius._

**I woke Pete up, didn't I?**

You still fail. You weren't supposed to get us detention.

**I tried to wake him up by poking him earlier. He's grown immune to it.**

Why not use your ever so popular shoe to the nose method?

**I don't want to kill our classmates. I haven't taken my shoes off since we woke up yesterday.**

_Gross. _

**Yeah. I think I'll hang them outside tonight.**

Didn't an owl die last time that happened?

**Yeah… but Sprout just figured her owl got lost or attacked by a falcon or something.**

Lucky break.

**Yep. **

_Potions time!_

**Shoot!!! We have to stand in that class today, don't we?**

_Yeah…_

**And we're making a potion today, aren't we?**

_Yeah…_

**We're all going to wind up in the hospital wing before we can pull something in Charms.**

How do you figure that?

**I'm too tired to be able to read anything from a book and comprehend it. How about you?**

Oh… I see your point… I vote naptime.

_Let's go give potions a shot anyway. Uhhh… dibs on not working with Peter._

Sirius. Rock, paper, scissors?

**Fine. Best 2 out of 3.**

_**Round one**_

_**Sirius – rock**_

_**James – dynamite**_

**Ugh! Not cool, Prongs! **

Dynamite beats rock. Deal with it.

**Fine.**

_**Round two**_

_**James – paper**_

_**Sirius – flame thrower**_

**Owned.**

Yeah, I know.

_**Round Three**_

_**James – wand**_

_**Sirius – knife**_

HA! HAHAHA!!!!

**When I die because Pete puts in the pretty blue stuff instead of the pretty purple stuff, you'll be sorry.**

Eh. Maybe.

* * *

HUMOR!!! YAY!!!!! Are you all happy now? ARE YOU? -eye twitch-

Uhmm... Anyway! I could realy use a mood booster, people, so reviews would be appreciated. I don't care what you say in it. I just like having a little review message in my inbox. Its fun. And if I have enough time, I'll respond to all reviews, and if I don't have enough time, I'll respond to the ones with questions, or the ones that are just pure awesomeness. No, awesomeness is not in the dictionary because it is not an actual word. I will admit to that.

Wow... ramble...

Next chapter is pretty good. Get excited, I will attempt to update faster than two weeks... so... yeah.

Please make my day and review. It'll make your day, too... because you'll get 325 e-galleons automatically added to your e-gringotts account. Hey, if you save up enough, you can start a campaign to become Minister. Come on, reviewing is worth it. :D


	67. Chapter 67

Hi... it's been a while...

I've decided that up here I will respond to non-acountee's reviews. ... Accountees... I'm pretty sure that's not a word... oh well. I don't care. Anywho, if you have an account, go ahead and skip down to the bold words and read on!

Allen Bell, if you wish to send me your email, you cannot actually type out the email. The site will block it. If you can figure out a way to get me your email, I'll be happy to say hi.

Xai, please, don't lose sleep reading fanfiction! I mean... we can all agree that it's awesome... but sleep is rather important. Cherish it. You never know when it will be taken from you... for weeks... -examines bags under eyes-

* * *

**_SIXTY-SEVEN – days later_**

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Only a week until O.W.L.S.!

_I don't think I've ever seen a group of Gryffindors so exhausted! Ravenclaw I can understand… but really. Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew? Up really late studying?_

_They have to be doing something else. I believe this is cause for concern._

_They are doing something else, that much I'm sure of. They can't answer review questions. _

**Miss Evans has been less attentive during class as well. **

_Her I can see staying up late to study though._

_And she's a prefect. She had to be up until 2 the other night and probably hasn't recovered yet! I still don't understand why you had the students stay up so late on a school night, Dumbledore. _

I know you don't. But this is a case in which I cannot explain myself. 

Like you ever can?

I usually do. You just have to read between the lines.

Your writing between the lines is always fine print. That doesn't make it any easier to understand.

Making yourself hard to understand can be extraordinarily beneficial sometimes, you know. 

Making yourself hard to understand all the time can be extraordinarily harmful, as well.

The pros outweigh the cons. 

To you, perhaps.

_Who wants to take a detention with Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew!!!_

_I'm alright, actually. _

No way.

**While I do find the boys delightful, I don't want them around right now! Can't have them getting a preview of their O.W.L.S.!**

_-sigh-_

_Well, I'm off to meet the edge of sanity again. Good night. _

_I haven't been to the edge of sanity in a while… This is kind of nice…_

Everyday is the edge of sanity in Hogwarts. I'm pretty sure it's law.

_Well then look at me being a lawbreaker!_

Don't make me call Magical Law Enforcement. You know I will.

_I know you will not! Ha! I'm off to get ice cream. Farewell!_

* * *

_**Dorm room – after detention**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

I think I have insomnia.

_No, you don't. Go to sleep or I swear I will take your wand and then throw you out the window and make it look like an accident. _

You're no fun, you know that, Remus?

_James, we have classes tomorrow. It's MONDAY tomorrow. If I don't get sleep now, there are going to be some pretty intense consequences. Starting with loss of your life. _

**Remus, you do have a brutal side!**

_Shut up, Sirius._

**Noooo. I like it!**

_Sirius, I will chuck you out the window as well if you don't shut up._

**Come on, can't you sleep while we throw stuff at you? Petey can do it.**

_Petey can sleep through anything! I'm not as lucky. Go away!_

Fine.

**Hey, James. Where'd the rubber bands go?**

_They went into the garbage._

…**You threw our rubber bands away?**

_Yes, I did. _

**You are not sleeping tonight, Remus.**

_Try and keep me awake, Sirius. I dare you._

**Fine! I'll accept that dare! –starts jumping on Remus's bed-**

_-suddenly sits up and jumps at Sirius, then drags Sirius to his own bed, and ties him down and gags him-_

_Would you like to try and keep me awake as well, James?_

No, I'm alright. I think I can sleep now.

_Good! _

Yup… Good night!

* * *

More humor! Yay! -happy dance-

Um... I really can't think of much to say...

Oh! Yes I can! Advice for the week/month/wheneverIgetthechancetoupdatenext, if you are on a team or working with other people, do your part! Do not sit back and wait until a couple of days before the due date or game or contest or whatever. It will really bring your team down and make them angry because they cleared time for that event! PULL YOUR WEIGHT!!!

...Now that that is all over... gosh I hate it when you have to use 'that' twice in a row. It never seems right... like a double negative kind of thing...

Please review! -gets ready to sent you 350 e-galleons-


	68. Chapter 68

It's ah... been a while, hasn't it? I love you all, I really do, but life doesn't appreciate that fact. :(

Good news! The 20th is this story's 1 year anniversary! I will definately update then! :D :D

I know this is where I said I would respond to unsigned reviews... but I couldn't think of anything to respond to them with. :( Keep reviewing though! I honestly will respond up here if I think of something to reply with!

Enough delay. Here's the chapter.

* * *

_**SIXTY-EIGHT**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

I don't think I've ever seen Evans so angry!

**Another record broken!**

_I honestly think you have taken it too far this time, James._

**There is no such thing as too far, Moony!**

**That was brilliant, Prongs!**

Then why do I feel bad?

…**No!**

**NO!**

**NO YOU CANNOT FEEL BAD FOR SNAPE!!!**

I don't feel bad for Snape!

**Whew! What a relief!**

_Sirius, shut up!_

_You should feel bad, James! That was really very cruel!_

I know!

…**REMUS! WHAT DID YOU DO?**

It's my fault that Snape called Evans a you-know-what!

**Oh, ok. I feel much better now.**

_Sirius, would you take this a little less lightly?_

**No can do. I'm the plucky comic relief here. Too much stress isn't a good thing.**

_-rolls eyes-_

_Yeah, James. It is your fault that Snape called Evans a you-know-what. Now she probably won't forgive him. You just tore up a friendship! I know you don't like Snape, and I don't care for him too much either, but seriously, if you cared for Lily at all you wouldn't have done that._

**You can take advantage of this, you know. She's going to be all sad and confused and stuff. Maybe you can just kinda slide in and take Snape's friendship's place and cause him to die of envy. **

_SIRIUS!_

**What?**

_Are you kidding me? Did you seriously just say that?_

**Well it's true!**

_That's it. I'm going to go set something up that would surely earn a month's detention and frame you for it, AND I won't give you notes for ANY classes next year for two months! _

…**I think I'm going to go cry in a corner now. **

_Good. _

_James, you need to apologize to Lily, at least. _

**Oh yeah, there's a good idea. **

"**Evans, I'm sorry for making your friend show his true colors."**

_Sirius, another word and I will throw you out of the clock tower!_

Remus, I can't do it! I can't apologize!

_Fine! Suite yourself! But now when Evans refuses to go out with you, you know she has good reason! You were unnecessarily cruel and I think you deserve every bit of the two months of detentions that you were punished with!_

Remus, I get the point! I screwed up, and I was so close, too!

_As I said – _

One more word, Moony, and I help Sirius gut you and chuck you to the squid.

**I have to make sure I get some of his venom first, though. **

Enough jokes, Sirius.

Don't we have studying to do?

We just have Transfiguration!

**Which is pointless to study for since we've got all of it down.**

Really? I thought we had two more…

Nope!

Alright… I'm going to go take a walk. See you later.

**Look at how bad you made him feel!**

_He deserves it! _

**No, he doesn't! I got the same punishment and you weren't bugging me!**

_That's because I know you're a lost cause, and because you've lost nothing through it, and you didn't start it!_

**None of this wouldn't happen if Snape just didn't exist. But… of course, when two people 'fall in love' and get married…**

_Stop there, Sirius. Study for Transfiguration._

**I know it all already!**

_Well then read the book until you can recite it to me word for word! Just leave me alone!_

**Fine. Be that way.**

* * *

James climbed the long, steep, spiral staircase until he reached the door he'd been looking for. He opened the door and welcomed the sight of the large turning gears and the thin wooden planks. In record time, he'd made it from the door to the window. He plopped himself down heavily on the window sill, allowing one leg to hang over it. If he were to be honest, he did feel bad about what he did to Snape, but wouldn't ever admit it, especially in front of Sirius. He sighed, and eventually fell asleep while watching the grounds.

* * *

I know. It's a downer chapter. I had to put it in though! It's a big deal! -sigh-

Hey! Hey! Hey! Wanna make my day? Click the button that says the word "Review" on it! Anyone can do it... really.

I shall automatically add 350 e-galleons and an e-tootsie pop (of your choice) to your e-account if you review! Come on... just a minute longer on this page to earn a load of e-money and some e-candy, AND make my day! Click it... click... your mouse is hovering over the button right now... give in. Click!


	69. Chapter 69

Alright everyone, this is it! It's been a whole year since I put up chapter one! Can you believe it? You all are AMAZING!!!!

I know this is a kind of late update, and I'm sorry. I just got home. :( I will respond to reviews from 68 soon, but I figured I should update first this time.

ENJOY!

* * *

_**SIXTY-NINE – last day!**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Hello, summer vacation! I love you so much…

_Well that's akward…_

Oh, shut up.

You remember that your vacation will hardly be normal?

Yes, I do. But I can still sleep more and I still don't have to grade papers.

_But you still have to revise lesson plans and arrange students' schedule's for next year._

Thank you, Minerva, for popping my bubble.

_No problem!_

_No fighting, please! This is a happy day! Three months without having to worry about pranks being around the corner…_

_I'd welcome that, compared to worrying about our students' lives. _

_Can't you ever look at the glass as half-full?_

_Only if I'm really desperate. _

_You know, my mother always told me, "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all."_

_My mother always told me to speak the truth._

**Didn't we agree on no fighting?**

_No, Filius just suggested it. _

And it was a good suggestion. Let's do that.

_I am so fighting back a comment right now._

_Self control is a good thing, Minerva._

_Yeah, yeah._

Who put all this junk in the staffroom?

_Junk in the staffroom?_

Yes. It looks like someone set up a party.

_Albus…_

Wasn't me. Horace?

**Nope. I've been in my office all day. **

_A party does sound nice, but it wasn't me._

A note with a hoof, paw, moon, and a piece of cheese. Didn't Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew draw that on the doors when they decorated them?

_Yes._

I think I understand the hoof, paw, and moon. But the piece of cheese? That's just a bit odd, and I fail to comprehend it. 

_I get the paw and moon, but the hoof?_

I get it.

_I don't. What is it?_

Mr. Potter's signature.

_And what does it represent?_

Something I believe is best kept secret until a time when they've made a life-changing choice. 

_Is it a choice I'm thinking of?_

Maybe. I don't know what choice you're thinking of. Contrary to popular belief among the staff, I do not delve into your minds regularly.

Could have fooled me.

Honestly, I don't!

_Since we are now to a point where it is pointless to continue…_

_How's Alastor?_

_Much better now that Poppy let him go. _

_What was wrong with him anyway?_

_Still not sure. But whatever it was, he seems to have recovered. _

Oh my goodness! Look at that!

_Look at what? We aren't in the same place as you._

Solana McKinnon!

_What?!_

Solana McKinnon is coming up to the gates! Oh, yay! Brian came, too!

_Brian…?_

Brian Boris. Remember him? Graduated last year?

_Of course! Brilliant boy. _

Brian and Solana are just so cute! Don't you think, Minerva?

…

Minerva?

_Albus, did you?_

No! I didn't! Did Marlene?

_She'd never._

Well someone did!

Do you plan on making sense soon?

_I really hope they aren't here for the reason I think they are. They're only 18!!! I'll go get them anyway…_

SENSE! Please!

No sense. Sorry, Pomona. 

Fine!

Ooooohhh…. That's new! I can see the rock on Solana's finger from here!

You didn't know they were engaged?

No… how long have they been?

Almost two months now! If I ever see Bob McKinnon look so defensive again, I might die of shock. 

He doesn't trust Brian? Brian wouldn't ever hurt Solana!

Yes, and we all know that. Bob just wants to make sure that Brian knows that he won't see his next birthday should anything happen to Solana. 

_As a good father should! I remember when Fiona got engaged… I think my father is what scared me out of wanting to get married…_

You sure it wasn't the constant rejection?

_For your information, Pomona, I never went out with anyone in school because I didn't want to be distracted!_

Uh huh, sure.

_Rather have not gone out at all than have been broken up with at least 3 times a year._

Hey, they had commitment issues!

_That's not what I heard…_

Did anyone ask you for your opinion?

_No, but I decided to put it in anyway. _

Well no one's asked you to jump off the clock tower either. Are you going to do that?

_Actually, you have. _

When?

_Oh, I don't remember exactly, but I know you have._

Now you're just making stuff up.

_Solana and Brian are on their way to your office, Dumbledore._

-sigh- 

_What are you going to say?_

It depends on what they say first. I hope and pray that they don't convince me.

_Fantastic. The situation's done for. Their in._

Not necessarily…

Anyway, they've arrived. 

In what, Minerva?

_Deep peril._

Sooo optimistic.

_I'd have a little more faith in them! They were both near the top of their class! They wouldn't get into something without having full knowledge of what could be ahead._

_And that's what frightens me. _

Nooo… Not Minerva McGonagall!

_If you're through with you're jokes, I'm off to the owlery. _

Fair well. Don't get lost!

_I'll try my hardest._

…

What do you mean that's not what you heard, Filius?!

_-sigh- Never mind, Pomona. _

Hey! No! No never mind!

…Filius…

Filus..

FILIUS!! WHAT DID YOU MEAN!?

* * *

TA-DA! There's your update! I hope it was to your satisfaction!

In celebration of this epic day, I give all reviewers 1000 (yes, that's a 1 and three 0s!) e-galleons! HOORAH!

Viewers, you've been pretty awesome as well, so I give you 600 e-galleons!

But, dear viewers, why take 600 when you can get 1000? Click the little button that says review, and type out something about the chapter, about the story, about me, about... life? I dunno. Anything!

PLEASE REVIEW and make my day happier! :D


	70. Chapter 70

I fixed Frank's font!

Response to unsigned reviews:

Bridget Brown - Two points, I'm thinking no karaoke, sorry. And, I'm sure Sirius could have had any girl he wanted, but I don't want to put him through more pain than he already will go through. Sorry. :(

Star5 - The Marauders plus Lily will come again, don't worry.

Xai - Your review made me laugh. Thank you!

:D - All 69 chapters? I haven't even done that in a long time! Congrats! lol!

Thank you all so much for your reviews!

* * *

_**SEVENTY – on the train**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

**Frank**

**

* * *

**

**Dumbledore is going to let Solana and Brian in! **

I remember them!!! Weren't they really smart?

**Smart? They're bloody BRILLIANT!! **

**This also means that he'll let us in straight after school! We'll all be 18 when we graduate!**

_Don't get your hopes up too high, Sirius. He might not let them._

**Please. They're in.**

Which means we're in!

**In what?**

**Longbottom! What are you doing in our compartment?**

**Lily and Alice started talking about girly things. I grabbed the opportunity to leave.**

**Smart man.**

**That's me!**

**Frank, what will we do without your wisdom next year?**

**I have no idea. Be crazier than normal?**

_Don't encourage them, Frank!_

**Yes, mum.**

Ouch. That's got to hurt real bad, Moony.

_Yup. Cut me real deep._

**Now what were you all saying about Solana and Brian being in?**

We could tell you, Frank, but we'd have to dispose of you afterwards…

**You know, Potter, you need to stop using that threat. It really does upset a lot of people.**

But you're not one of them, Mr. Future Auror.

**Hey, going through a three year program with Alastor Moody? That's going to be hell! I'm actually frightened that he'll kill me for messing up.**

**Naw. Moody's gotta be tough for work, but he's really just a big softie on people that aren't agents of Lucifer. **

… **Have you all gone mad?**

_Have you only just noticed?_

**No… I started wondering after the first time I saw you passing notes at LUNCH.**

It makes the teachers more nervous when we act secretive.

**Better not tell Alice that's the reason. She'd chew you out.**

-rubs shoulder- Yeah, she hits hard, too.

**Which is why I do my best to stay on her good side.**

**Is that why you always buy her flowers?**

**It keeps me out of danger. **

**Eh. What works, works. I'll have to take note of that one…**

_Please, Sirius. Like you'd ever do that if you had a girlfriend._

**I'll have you know that I know for a fact that there are several girls that would love to go out with me.**

_Don't let your head get too big._

Whoops, too late.

**Anyway… Back to Solana and Brian! What were you talking about!**

We didn't get you off topic?

**Nope. Sorry.**

Ahhhh. Frank. Geez.

**Come on… I know you want to tell me…**

Should we?

**I vote yes. Seriously, it's Longbottom. He's a beast. He can take it.**

_I don't know. It might give McGonagall a heart attack to have another couple of students join…_

Frank and Alice are even younger than Solana and Brian!

I vote yes.

**Since you two are on the fence…**

We'll tell you, Longbottom!

**But you have to promise not to tell anyone that you heard it from us.**

_Well… you can tell Alice. But neither of you can tell anyone else._

**Alright, alright! You're killing me with suspense! What is it?!**

The Order of the Phoenix!

**What?**

**Anti-Voldemort people. They fight where the Ministry doesn't.**

**Tell me more!**

It's run by Dumbledore, some of the best and brightest witches and wizards are in it, still recruiting…

**If you all are messing with me…**

Why would we lie about this?

**So this is for real? Alice and I can join it and actually fight BEFORE we become aurors?**

_You'd have to convince Dumbledore to let you in._

**Alice and I were Head Girl and Boy! We've got Dumbledore in our pocket. But, seriously! The Order of the Phoenix is for real?**

**YES! We're joining right after we graduate.**

_That's another thing you can't tell anyone._

**ALICE!!!!!! –runs out – **

YES!!!!!! Frank and Alice will be AMAZING at this!

_Seriously, McGonagall is going to die of worry that her former students are going to be killed. _

**Frank and Alice? You kidding? They're too cautious. They won't get killed.**

_There are worse things than death, you know…_

But we aren't talking about those things are we?

_You know… we could have had a major problem if Frank asked us how we knew about the Order or about Brian and Solana…_

But he didn't, and he won't have a chance to ask us until we graduate and join.

**Ugh! We still have so much time to go!!!**

_Quit whining! The next couple of years will go by really fast. _

**They better. **

**

* * *

**Thank you all so much for your kind wishes and thanks and all that fun on the reviews in the last chapter!

I worked really hard to get this up now, instead of in another week. It is to that point of the school year where all the teachers are realizing that there is only so much of the year left, and that they didn't move as quickly through their material as they thought. Projects galore! Yay!

Oh... wow... I just threw sarcasm up all over my room... I need to clean that up.

Please review! When you do, I'll automatically add 300 e-galleons to your e-account!


	71. SIXTH YEAR

_**SEVENTY-ONE – First Day!**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

And the craziness starts again.

_Why, WHY, a prank within the first ten minutes?_

_Hey, we had a pretty tame summer. _

I was hoping for a tame year as well.

_That's hoping for a bit much._

The prank wasn't all that bad.

**What? Yes it was!**

_Just because they defaced the Slytherin banners…_

**That was completely uncalled for! They had no reason to do such a thing!**

_They have plenty of reason. I wish I could do it. _

But that would reflect badly on the staff.

_Exactly!_

Is that why you only gave them two days of detention?

**TWO DAYS?! ONLY? Minerva McGonagall!!**

_Yes?_

**Double those detentions.**

_No can do. Dates have already been set and all that fun._

**You just wait. I will have my revenge.**

_You know, you said that about your crystallized pineapple going out the window years ago, and you've yet to get your revenge._

…

_That's what I thought._

**You can't tell, but I'm glaring at you right now.**

_I'm terrified. _

**As you should be.**

What's Marlene doing here?

_I told you she'd come for you, Albus._

-sigh- I knew she would.

If she's after you, Dumbledore, I'd begin fleeing now. She is definitely not happy.

Well, that's expected considering what I did. She has every right to be angry, and I have no right to try to escape.

Suicidal much?

Only when you pop into conversations that I don't want you to.

Ouch! That hurt, Albus!

Sorry. I didn't mean to actually write it…

Uh huh. Sure.

_I'd say Marlene is almost to your office, Albus._

Yup. I can hear her coming up the stairs. Farewell, dear staff! I will miss you dearly!

**If he'll be dead, won't WE be missing HIM?**

_Supposedly. _

**That comment was rather cruel. I'll miss him!**

You know what's awful?

_What?_

Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew don't have any major tests this year. They'll be back to normal.

_Oh… that is depressing…_

_Why don't we just tie them up?_

That actually isn't a half bad idea. I'm for it.

_I'm not. They would definitely find a way to escape and then seek revenge._

Oh… point. Dang it. Why can't they just be stupid?

_Life would be too simple then._

True.

Minerva, why is Marlene angry at Dumbledore?

_Because he's too much of a softie. Marlene isn't as mad as Augusta will be._

Augusta Longbottom? She's after Dumbledore too?

_She probably will be._

Seriously, what'd he do?

_He caved in._

I'm not getting an answer, am I?

_Nope. Sorry._

-sigh- Then I'm going to bed. Good night!

_Night!_

_Why do I always get stuck with patrol the first night back?_

_Because you're just that unlucky._

_Apparently so. Anyway, I have to head out now._

_Happy patrolling!_

If anything happens to Solana, there is no doubt in my mind that Marlene will kill me. 

_Just hope Bob doesn't find out._

Bob McKinnon doesn't even know that Marlene McKinnon is in the Order! Heck, I don't think he even knows the Order exists.

_That's because Marlene didn't want to endanger any other members of her family. She hates not being able to talk to Bob about it, and now she's really angry because – _

Because I let Solana in. I know. But Solana and Brian had known that I must have started something, and they'd been talking about joining it for a long while. They know what they've gotten themselves into.

_Wait until Augusta finds out about Frank and Alice._

I don't know how THEY found out.

…That's a lie. I do know.

_Care to share?_

Actually, no. It's not my bit of information to share. 

_I hate it when you do that._

I know. 

_But seriously, you'll be more than deaf when Augusta finds out. _

I know. But Frank has given me his assurances that Augusta will not find out.

_Oh, please, it's Augusta Longbottom! She can perform Legilimens without magic._

What?

_Have you never experienced that? She'll just look at you and be able to tell if you ate potatoes that day! _

I think that's a bit of an exaggeration…

_No, it isn't! That seriously happened to me one time. She'll come after you soon enough._

That's very reassuring. Thank you, Minerva.

_No problem! On that happy note, I'll go to bed now. _

Don't forget to let the bed bugs bite.

_Ha ha ha. Thanks. _

No problem!

* * *

Hi! GUESS WHAT!!! I'm out of school! YEAH!!! However, I am going on vacation very shortly. :( I will be back to writing full time in June. I will also do my best to update tomorrow. I feel so bad! I've been neglecting you all! I'm crying on the inside.

Anywho... I am going to be short and sweet here because I'm really jumpy and excited for the season finale of my favorite show that is on tonight... yeah. Uhh... 700 e-galleons to reviews! And viewers, I feel bad about you to. 200 e-galleons to viewers! You're all rich!!!!! Congratulations!

Alright, review, and then go spend your money on something foolish! :D


	72. Chapter 72

_**SEVENTY-TWO**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Yup. This year is definitely back to normal in Hogwarts.

_-sigh- What they do this time?_

They decided to play "Let's see who can get the closest to the Whomping Willow"

_They played WHAT?_

I'm not repeating myself.

_They can't do that! Literally CANNOT! What did they just get into or get out of your class?_

Out of.

_Good. They have me next._

Oh dear…

_And here they come. I believe the beginning of class can wait ten minutes._

A whole ten minutes? That's a bit harsh.

_Not really. What they just did definitely make their "Top Ten Stupidest Things We've Ever Done" list._

No one was hurt…

_That's not what I'm angry about!_

Then what?

…Ohhhh…. That's what!

_Yeah! Now just wait, someone is going to try to actually get to the trunk, and then there will be problems._

_Now, if you'll excuse me…_

* * *

James knew from the second he saw McGonagall waiting outside the classroom door that they were in trouble, and lots of it.

"You guys… Sprout told her already," he whispered.

Sirius's eyes popped. "There's still a chance to run…"

"I don't think so, Sirius. She's seen us. I TOLD you guys that was a bad idea!" Remus snapped.

"I warned you too!" Lily hissed, passing them up from behind.

Sirius stuck his tongue out at the red head.

"Real mature, Sirius. That'll fix everything," Remus said with very much sarcasm.

"Hey, it works for me," Sirius said hurriedly before speaking to their professor. "Minerva! We missed you over the summer! How have you been?"

Professor McGonagall's lips tightened and she pointed down the hall. The boys followed her finger. She slammed the classroom door shut and looked at them murderously.

"I'm not kidding," Sirius said quietly, "There's still a slight chance we can escape."

"Look behind you, Padfoot! She's cornered us into a dead end!" James replied.

Sirius looked behind himself and cursed at the stone wall.

"What were you four thinking?" McGonagall snarled as she approached.

"Just now?" Sirius started. "We were thinking how we wished this wasn't the end of a hallway."

"What were you thinking when you started a competition involving the Whomping Willow?"

"Well, you see, Professor…"

"Shut UP! Did I ask for a response?"

"You asked a question…"

"One more word out of you, Black, and you won't be able to feel anything for a week!" The Professor's nostrils flared at the end of her statement.

"Do you know what you've done?"

The boys all kept their lips pursed and their breath held.

"I asked you a question!" Professor McGonagall snapped.

"You told us not to say anything, Professor!" Peter said so fast it was hardly comprehendible.

"I changed my mind! Answer me!"

James was all but expecting balls of fire to start coming out of his professor's eyes. He had to come up with answer, but his jaw was frozen in place.

"You've challenged all the other students!" Professor McGonagall screamed. "Now all of them are going to keep 'playing' until they get to the trunk! Do you know what happens then? Do you?"

"Is this one of those questions we're supposed to answer?" Sirius asked. He quickly wished he hadn't. James pictured his friend suddenly falling to the ground after being hit with fire and wasn't sure if it really happened or not.

"With all due respect, Professor, I really don't think anyone will figure out how to get to the trunk, so they wouldn't find what's beyond it…" Remus said.

"Then you four can stand guard by it and haul off any fallen victims! Does that sound like fun to you?"

"No, Professor," all the boys said quickly.

The Professor seemed to have so many things she wanted to say, but apparently, none of them were school appropriate. "Two weeks! Now get into the classroom!" she snapped.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter sprinted to the door and then walked into the classroom.

Professor McGonagall made to punch the stone wall, but then thought better of it and let her first fall just before it hit the rock. She entered her classroom, slammed the door, and made her way to the front of the room. There was least one upside. No one would cause trouble in her class today.

* * *

_**LUNCH**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Well… that was completely terrifying.

**I agree. I say we don't play that game anymore.**

Agreed.

_Now will you listen to me every once and a while?_

No…

_-sigh-_

**Where'd Pete go?**

Probably to change his pants.

**Oh, yeah. I thought I was going to have to. But luck was sort of on my side…**

_Not really. We have two weeks detention, and it's only our second day back!_

Please. This time fourth year we already had an entire month.

**We're making up for last year, Remus!**

_No, it's ok. You don't have to._

**Of course we do!**

_I miss Frank. _

**What brought that on?**

_When you all were being ridiculous I'd always go talk to him. He's still got some level of sanity._

I currently hate Frank. He's in the Order. He got to fight over the summer.

**Yeah, but my comforting thought is that Moody is running him and Alice harder than anyone else. And we all know that would be absolute hell. **

Oh… that is a comforting thought. Poor Frank. –smile-

_I hate Frank for leaving me alone with you two._

**Aw, come on, Remmy! This year will be a good bonding experience!**

_Haven't the last five years been 'bonding experiences,' Sirius?_

**Nothing says "bonding experience" like something you can't escape!**

_I'm thrilled now._

**Fantastic! Being excited is a good thing, Moony!**

_Maybe I'll be excited after this week goes by._

You kidding me? I'm excited for this week! The first week back! Ahhh, what a coincidence!

_You might find it fun, you can control yourself. I can't._

It's a time to turn the tables, if only for a night. Come on, we kept track of you last year, didn't we?

_Barely! How many people did I almost get because you lot had the bright idea to leave the shack?_

Only three. But it just looked like a dog fight to them.

**Indeed it did. Good thing no one followed it into the forest. A deer jumping into the fight would've looked a little odd…**

But that STAG owned.

**It was a very pretty looking DEER. So… graceful in a way. So dainty.**

Rather graceful and dainty than clumsy and loud and gross looking.

**Hey, that dog did not look gross.**

_Yes it did. It needs a haircut._

**DON'T TOUCH ITS HAIR!**

I agree with Remus. What's that cutting spell, again?

**James, I swear I will kill you.**

Now, now, now, Sirius, let's not start making threats we can't keep. I can run faster than you. How do you intend on killing me?

**I'm a Black! I've got connections! Don't mess with me!**

I could turn so many people against you with that quote right there.

**Remus… if I jump at Prongsie here, hold me back.**

_I don't know. It might blow my cover… Sorry, James._

Yeah, I believe that.

I'll hold you back, Sirius!

**Good luck with that, Pete.**

I could do it!

**James can't do it. I doubt you can.**

Well if Remus can, I can.

**Peter… think about what you just said and why that isn't true.**

…Anyway… Time for potions! Let's go, boys!

I… I don't have potions on my schedule…

That's because you're a hazard, Pete. Where does your schedule say to go?

It doesn't say anything!

_Then go back to the dormitory and work on homework!_

…ok. 

See ya, Pete! We'll come get you before our next class!

* * *

I updated! I updated! -happy dance-

On a low note, I'll probably only update once between now and June. After that, though, updating should speed right up!

Ok, I want to know what you all think. 400 e-galleons for your thoughts! :D


	73. Chapter 73

_**SEVENTY-THREE – after dinner**_

"Off to detention! Ahhh… it gives such a comforting, familiar feeling," James said with a smile.

"I honestly don't know what I did to deserve friends like you," Remus sighed.

"Well, you must've been a very good boy for being so lucky!" Sirius smiled from ear to ear.

"Not the way I meant it, Padfoot."

"Has anyone else been wondering why Voldie was so quiet this summer?" asked James suddenly.

"Nope. He's not gone though. If he was, Trixie would be home crying herself to death, and I would've happily sped up the process. I swear she's in love with him." Sirius shuddered.

"Well, duh, he's not gone," Remus said, "I agree that it's weird that he was so quiet though. I mean… there hasn't been a disappearance in three weeks! I feel like the professors now. He's not doing anything, which should make me happy, but I'm feeling nervous instead."

"Same here!" James sighed. "If only he would trip and hit his head on a rock."

"I think it'd be better if one of his followers turned on him," Sirius sounded like he wished for nothing more than that, "In fact, I'd join him just to kill him."

"And then you'd be killed and one of his followers would rise up to take his place," Remus pointed out.

"I'd take them all out with a big KA-BOOM!"

"I think they'd be able to avoid the ka-boom, Sirius."

"Not if they didn't know about it, Remus."

"Excuse me…" said a small voice. The sixth years turned to look at the first year that had apparently been following them. "I… I was wondering if you could show me to the Transfiguration room. I wasn't paying attention when we were led there earlier today," the boy said quickly.

"You're going to see Minnie McGonagall? Of course we'll take you! That's where we're headed! Follow my lead, young grasshopper!" Sirius said with cheer and started off.

The first year stared after Sirius oddly.

"It's ok," James said, "He's not mentally stable. Yes, we'll take you to the Transfiguration room. What are you headed there for?"

"Uhh… I started feeling really sick in the middle of the lesson today. Professor McGonagall told me to go to see Madame Pomfery… I didn't know the way… but there was someone in the hall that told me." The boy smiled.

"What's your name, kid?" Remus asked.

"Dennis Stringfellow."

Before James, Remus, or Peter could respond to Dennis, they heard a loud crash come from around the corner.

"Merlin's beard, Sirius! What'd you do now?" Remus said exasperatedly.

"Maybe he tried to take a knight's sword again," Peter suggested.

"I'm OKAY!" Sirius said with giggles. His friends came around the corner and looked at him, laying on the ground. "Peeves," he explained.

"Ohhh!" the other three boys suddenly understood.

"Peeves?" Dennis asked.

"Avoid him at all costs, and never listen to him if he gives you directions. … better yet, never listen to him at all," Remus said before Sirius could say anything.

"Sirius, this is Dennis," James said.

"Dennis! I'm Sirius! Last names aren't important."

Dennis couldn't help but look at Sirius oddly. He was just too weird to comprehend.

"I am James Potter of Gryffindor," James said with a bow.

"Peter Pettigrew!"

"Remus Lupin, the sane one," Remus said after all his friends. "I do apologize for not introducing everyone earlier."

"That's ok… Can we get to the Transfiguration room now, please?" Dennis asked.

"But of course!" Sirius sprung up from the ground and started skipping off again.

"Don't listen to whatever Sirius tells you, either," Remus added.

"Ouch! Black! Watch where you're going!" snapped an annoyed voice around the corner.

"Maybe YOU should watch where I'm going, Evans! You know I'm not responsible enough to!" Sirius replied in a way that would only make Lily angrier.

"So help me Black, if you get any more annoying…"

"You'll do what, Evans?"

There was a loud _smack _and Lily stomped around the corner.

She stopped when she saw James, Remus, Peter, and Dennis. "Dennis!" Her face cracked into a smile. "Where are you off to now?"

"James, Remus, Peter and Sirius are showing me to the Transfiguration room!" Dennis responded.

"Good job! It's important to catch up on what you missed. How long did Madame Pomfery make you stay?"

"Hey…" Peter said slowly before Dennis could answer, "Our detention starts in 2 minutes…"

"AH! Come on, Dennis, pick up pace! We gotta hustle!" James gave Dennis a little push forward and started speed walking.

"Remus! Why did you get detention? It's our week for patrol!" Lily complained.

"I'll talk to McGonagall, alright? I've got to go!" Remus dashed off to catch up with the rest of his group.

Lily stood in the hallway alone. …Had Potter just been nice to a first year?

Black, Lupin, Pettigrew, and finally Potter trailing a first year ran into McGonagall's room with seconds to spare. She recognized the first year as the boy she'd sent down to the hospital wing after he'd almost thrown up on his partner.

"Cages," was all the professor needed to say to the sixth years. They headed over to a cabinet, grabbed several things from it, and started moving animals into different cages and cleaning.

Dennis watched them interestedly. They seemed to know how to do everything around the school.

"Stringfellow, what is it?" Professor McGonagall snapped, hardly looking up from the massive stack of papers on her desk. Dennis wondered how she could have so many assignments to grade already. But as he approached the desk, he saw that the majority of the papers seemed to have a lot of numbers on them. They couldn't possibly be Transfiguration assignments…

"Uhh… I wanted to know what I missed in class…" Dennis tried his hardest not to sound nervous. He hated speaking to authority figures one on one.

"Professor Minnie!" Sirius called out, "the trashcan is throwing up."

"Well empty it, Black!" McGonagall snapped.

"I tried," he raised his hand up, revealing red marks, "It bit me."

"You have a wand, use it!"

"Last year, April 17, you told us that we couldn't use our wands in detention…"

"Black, don't push me!" McGonagall's eyes flared. Sirius sighed and pulled his wand out of his pocket.

The Professor huffed and calmed down slightly before turning back to the first year. "Yes, class today. You didn't miss too much. You can get a copy of the notes from someone in your class. The spell we learned…" McGonagall got up fro her chair and demonstrated to Dennis. He quickly picked up on the spell and mastered it after only 4 tries. It made the Professor smile. "Very good. Now run along, back to your dormitory."

"Umm… Actually… I need to see Professor Flishwish as well and I um… don't know the way there or to my Common Room yet…" Dennis blushed in embarrassment. Most people he'd talked to could at least find their way to their Common Rooms.

"Professor Flitwick," McGonagall corrected, "may be on patrol right now, but you can go check anyway."

"I'll take him, Professor!" James volunteered. He'd found or conjured goggles to wear over his glasses and rubber yellow gloves, which he showed off as he raised his hand holding a sponge into the air.

McGonagall raised an eyebrow at her student.

James let his hand fall to his side. "Come on, Professor. I promise I won't feed him to the squid or anything."

The Professor looked at James sternly. "Alright, take him to Professor Flitwick, and then to his dormitory. You have thirty minutes, unless you come back with a note from Professor Flitwick saying why you were late. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Professor!" James peeled the gloves off his hands and threw the goggles to the floor. He also pulled an apron off himself that hadn't been visible before he'd stood up. "Come along, young Dennis! You have much to learn about this place we call Hogwarts!"

"Thirty minutes!" McGonagall reminded as James closed the door behind Dennis and himself.

"Why was Sirius calling Professor McGonagall 'Minnie?" Dennis asked.

James chuckled. "That would involve telling way too many stories, Dennis. But, compressing everything, Sirius, Remus, Peter and I see a lot of the Professors out side of class; we kind of enjoy pulling pranks on them. In detention we get to talking with them, and McGonagall is just fun to annoy, and nick names make her want to punch a wall."

"That doesn't sound nice…" Dennis said.

"It isn't!"

"Lily! You again?" James said with a smile.

"Potter, you're supposed to be in detention!" Lily snarled.

"You're supposed to be on patrol. What are you doing over here again? It's only been fifteen minutes; you couldn't possibly have made it all the way around the school…"

"I'm waiting for Remus to get out of detention!" Lily put her hands on to her hips.

"He won't be getting out until I get back. I'm taking Dennis here to Flitwick and then his dorm."

"Well make it fast! I want to get done with patrol quickly! I already have a 3 foot essay for Arithmacy assigned," Lily huffed. She then looked at Dennis. "Why are you letting him take you around the school?"

Dennis shrugged. "He promised not to feed me to the squid, and Professor McGonagall trusts him, and I trust her…"

Lily sighed. "May the force be with you, Stringfellow." She turned and stalked off.

"She seems like a very angry person…" Dennis commented.

"No, just angry at me, and I'll admit that she has a right to be. But that is another story that we shall not discuss." James gave Dennis a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"So," James continued, "You missed charms, too?"

"Yeah… Madame Pomfery wouldn't let me go until after classes. She's a little bit scary…"

"Pomfery's stern, but she's got a heart of gold," James gave a real smile this time, "She'll pin you down if you need to be, but it's only because she cares. Don't mess with her though… I know for a fact that she can take down Dumbledore when she's angry enough."

Dennis gasped and smiled. "No way!"

"Yup. It's true."

"The staff is definitely _not_ who I thought them to be…" Dennis suddenly seemed to be lost in a day dream.

"Everyone has their professional side, but everyone also has another side. Just don't let the professors know you know they have one." James winked at the other boy.

"Gotcha." Dennis winked back. He liked James. He was really nice. In fact, he was the nicest oldest student he had met, right up there with Lily.

"Aaaand… here's Flitwick's room!" James flung open the door.

"No, no, no, no! Mr. Shacklebolt, swish, _not_ jab!" Flitwick squealed as a purple beam of light flew over him.

"Kingsley!" James exclaimed.

The boy turned around. Dennis recognized him. Kingsley Shacklebolt was tall, black, had an earring in one ear, and was a second year Gryffindor.

"Potter!" Kingsley flashed a smile.

"Mr. Potter, what is it?" Flitwick said tiredly.

"I'm just an escort. Ask this kid right here." James pushed Dennis forward.

"And who are you?" Flitwick asked.

Dennis was trying not to be surprised by his Professor's appearance. "Uh… Dennis Stringfellow. I wasn't in your class today because I had to go to the hospital wing…"

"Ah. Yes. Well just give me a minute to finish up with Mr. Shacklebolt, if he'll be so kind as to _listen_ to what I am telling him!"

"I am listening, Professor," Kingsley said calmly.

Professor Flitwick took a deep breath. "Never mind. Return to your dormitory. Now, Mr. Stringfellow, what we learned today is fairly simple…"

Kingsley leaned up against a wall next to James. "What are you here for, Kingsley?"

"Honestly? I failed last year and am not doing well this year either, and I have no idea why. Flitwick said he'd be happy to help me after classes, but as you've witnessed, I'm just frustrating him." Kingsley watched as Dennis listened intently to the Charms Professor.

"Ask Evans for help. She's a Charms maniac," James suggested.

"I might have to. I think Flitwick is rather close to bringing me serious physical harm."

James smiled. "Hey, I have to get back to detention. Can you take Dennis back to the Common Room when he's done?"

"Oh, sure," Kingsley nodded. He still wasn't looking at James. "I find this boy interesting."

James slapped Kingsley on the shoulder and bid him good-bye before heading out and sprinting back to the Transfiguration classroom before his thirty minutes were up. He walked into the room with a second to spare.

* * *

It's still before June, right?

Ok, here's the true deal. I headed out for my vacation, got to where I was staying, tried to get on the internet... and it didn't work. So there I was like, "F!!!" Then I thought, "Oh, hold on! My phone has ze internets on it!" so I got on my very slow phone for you all. And then my phone wouldn't load the documents I put on here for me to update. It was a couple of little rune like things that I couldn't click on. So I am updating now (finally!) and will update again shortly! I PROMISE!!!!

Please review and let me know what you think about this update. 500 e-galleons for your thoughts? Yes? Is 500 fair for being a cruel author? Perhaps not... alright, well I'm off to the darkest corner of my basement to stay for a few hours. Does that seem like a better punishment? Yeah, it does. I'll go sit in the dark now. OMG! RANT!

Ok, please review! The sooner I know everyone's thoughts, the sooner I update!


	74. Chapter 74

_**SEVENTY-FOUR**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

I'm rather frightened for all the first years.

_Why?_

Because Potter and Black are actually being nice to them!

I think it's fantastic that they're helping the younger students.

More like lulling them into a false sense of security!

_No, they seem to actually care about them. One of your Hufflepuffs, Pomona, was picking on Dennis Stringfellow, and Potter and Black just stepped in and ended it without anyone getting hurt._

…My Hufflepuffs wouldn't pick on younger students!

_Yes they would. Look who they have as their Head of House!_

Hey, I don't pick on the innocent.

_What do you call gossip?_

Why are we picking on Pomona?

_Because it's fun!_

_I honestly don't think we need to worry. _

What if they're training Stringfellow to take over once they're gone, eh?

_They aren't going to want anyone to best their records. They won't encourage him to._

You all are no fun anymore.

_So quit._

I would, but my brother and I bet that I would make it through the year without killing any students…

_You're developing a habit of gambling, Pomona. I'd recommend stopping._

You bet all the time!

_Yes, I do. Which is why I am advising you to stop now._

-huff- I'm going to bed.

_She's getting rather touchy again._

_I'm pretty sure I didn't do it this time._

_Albus? Is this your fault?_

Not that I'm aware of. 

_Oh well. She'll get over whatever is bugging her. _

_Hey! Did anyone read the 'Prophet' today?_

_No, I gave up on it over the summer._

I had meant to, but meetings all day kept me busy. 

_Three Death Eaters were captured early yesterday morning!_

_No way!_

_Yes way!_

_I'm surprised Alastor didn't owl you!_

_I am too. But he's probably just been busy making sure Azkaban's new residents are 'comfortable.'_

_Oooohhh! Frank and Alice helped out with this catch._

_What?_

_I doubt it was on purpose. Maybe the three of them were just out on a training exercise or something?_

Nope. 

_Their names shouldn't have been in the paper…_

_But they faced Voldemort himself and lived to tell the tale, Minerva! And they're only 18! That's quite an accomplishment!_

_Accomplishment? _

_Yes!_

_It's not an accomplishment, it was luck!_

_Oh, have a little more faith._

_I'm not getting into this. But, I now know the reason why Alastor didn't owl me. _

_Because you'd chew him out if you knew that Frank and Alice helped him?_

_There's no way they've had enough training yet! He promised both me and Augusta that he wouldn't let them into any major battles until they were properly trained up!_

You didn't really expect him to stick to that, did you?

_As a matter a fact, I did._

Funny. He came to me right after he promised you and said he lied. You fell for it? You, the human lie detector?

_Hey, in my defense, the man might as well lie for a living. _

_Well, anyway. I won't give him too hard a time._

-holds in laughter-

_I won't! And do you know why?_

_Because Augusta is going to unleash hell upon him when she finds out?_

_Exactly!_

_You're a cruel being, Minerva._

_I don't think so._

_Of course YOU don't._

Well, Minerva, if you'd like to yell at Frank and Alice, they'll be visiting soon.

_Really?_

Yes. Alice misses Ms. Evans, and Frank misses your Idiots. 

_Thank you for this information. I won't yell at them… so much as get more information._

_What if they lie? You've seem to have lost your touch for detecting them._

_Frank and Alice are nowhere near mastering the art of lying. Even if they had, they wouldn't lie to me. They know that if I found out, I would find them._

Let's refrain from threats, shall we?

_But they're so much fun!_

-sigh- I'm going to go to sleep now. 

_You do that. I'm going to start formulating a speech for Alastor…_

This wasn't their fault! Like Filius said, they were probably caught by surprise. 

_It doesn't matter. A promise is a promise. Warn Alastor and you will sincerely regret it._

I won't.

_Good headmaster! Would you like some hot chocolate?_

I would, actually…

_Make it yourself._

You can't just offer something and then take it back!

_I didn't offer to make it, did I?_

… You know what? I'm closing my book. Good night!

_Sore loser._

* * *

Yes, short chapter, I know. I'm mean.

ALright, alright! What does everyone want to see? More staff? More Marauders? More Lily? Jk, don't tell me if you want to see more Lily. She's coming... in seventh year. :/

But seriously. Push the little green button. Tell me what you think! For typing out as little as a sentance, I will automatically add 525 e-galleons to your e-account. So review, empty your e-account and go buy something fancy.

WHY HAVEN'T YOU PUSHED THE BUTTON YET?!?!?!


	75. Chapter 75

_**SEVENTY-FIVE – a few days later on the grounds**_

"Why are we outside, again?" Peter asked for the umpteenth time.

"For the final time, Pete! We're outside because Frank is going to be coming here today!" Even Remus had lost patience with the question.

"Why not wait inside?"

"Because then we wouldn't be able to tackle him the second he walked through the gate!" Sirius said.

"Do you think we should have told Evans that Alice is coming today?" James inquired.

"No," Remus replied. "She'd want to be surprised. Alice probably wants to surprise her, too. She might punch you in the arm again if we tell." He grinned after he finished talking.

James glared. "I had a bruise from the last time she punched me!"

"It went away in two days!" Sirius said, joining in the game.

James was about to make a childish retort when Professor McGonagall exited the school and went to the gates.

The boys all got ready to run and jump, but they had to wait for the opportune moment. Sirius took advantage of their time and painted war marks under his eyes with mud.

James nodded at his fellows and they began crawling through the unkept lawn, closer to the gate. They heard it squeak open. Sirius briefly popped his head out over the grass to confirm that it was Alice and Frank.

"3…" James whispered as Frank got closer, "2…1… NOW!!"

Four boys suddenly popped out of the too tall grass and leapt at Frank, who found himself on the ground with no recollection of how he got there.

"Frank! We missed you!" James said with mock tears.

"Where have you been? Why did you leave us? We've been so lonely!" Sirius sniffed for effect.

"Hey…" Frank gasped, "Can't breathe!"

"What, the almost-auror whose already taken down three Death Eaters can't take 4 sixth years jumping on him?" James asked.

"You all have 10 seconds before I intervene…" Alice said. She held up ten fingers and started counting down.

The sixth years got up and the pulled up Frank, who was still gasping for breath. Alice hit James in the arm, anyway.

"Hey!" James snapped. "I got up!"

"I know," Alice smiled widely. "But I had to, for old time's sake."

Sirius, Remus, Peter and Frank started laughing as James tried to resist rubbing his arm.

"How did you four know that Mr. Longbottom would be visiting?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"We didn't! We were just going to go for a swim, and then we saw you heading towards the gates!" Sirius said.

"We couldn't resist jumping Frank! Who would pass up such an opportunity?" James added.

"The lake is half frozen," McGonagall said suspiciously.

Sirius huffed. "You ruined our fun, Minnie! James and I were going to throw Remus in! He won't cooperate now!"

The Professor knew that wasn't the real plan, but decided not to ask more questions. It'd only make her more worried.

Something caught Alice's eye. She suddenly shouted and started waving her hand in the air. "LILY!"

Sure enough, Lily Evans had been on her way to the owlery. She smiled brightly and started running towards Alice.

While Professor McGonagall was distracted, Frank leaned towards James and whispered, "How did you know I was coming?"

James looked aghast. "You're asking me to reveal my sources? Never!" he hissed.

Frank raised an eyebrow and imitated Moody, "I'll find out, one way or another, boy!"

James did his best impersonation as well, "Is that a threat, Longbottom?"

Frank kept up his imitation, "So what if it is?"

James drew his wand, and still kept his Moody-accent, "I say, prove yourself, scum!"

Frank drew his wand. The young men circled, not paying attention to the fact that the entire group was now watching. James suddenly threw his arm out with a grand gesture and light spilled out of his wand aimed at Frank, who put up a shield just in time. The mock duel continued until the two put their wands down to their side and shook hands.

"Truce," James said.

"You fought well, young grasshopper," Frank said with reverence and bowed. James bowed as well.

Lily and Alice rolled their eyes and started towards the school.

"Fairest lady!" Frank shouted. "Please! Wait! You don't know what kind of dangers lay ahead!" He ran to catch up with Alice, who was giggling. He walked in front of her, testing the ground and keeping his wand drawn the entire time.

"Awe… look at how well she's trained him!" Sirius smiled.

Professor McGonagall looked at Sirius with her eyebrows raised.

"Oh, come on. You know she's got him pinned."

"I hope that for women's sake, Black, you never get married," McGonagall said.

Sirius put a hand over his heart and pretended to choke. "Professor!" he gasped.

Remus seized the opportunity and pushed Sirius to the ground.

As Sirius was getting up, he continued talking, "Come on, Professor! You know that you don't really want me to leave! Just think, if I get married I can send a barrage of Sirius Black Juniors here! Actually…" he said thoughtfully, "I think I'll legally change my name…"

Professor McGonagall looked skyward and seemed to be wishing for patience.

Frank suddenly grabbed Alice and started waltzing towards the doors instead of walking. Lily stopped walking to watch. The Professor and sixth year boys soon caught up with her.

"They're so lucky to have each other," Lily said, sounding like she was in a different universe.

Frank sent Alice twirling at the steps to the door, and quickly dropped to one knee before she stopped and faced him again.

Lily gasped and put her hands over her spreading smile. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter gasped and let their jaws fall. Professor McGonagall just smiled.

They all watched as Frank slid something very shiny onto Alice's left hand and then sprung up and hugged his fiancé.

* * *

YAY FRANK AND ALICE!!!! :D

oh... ow. just accidently gave myself a small cut on my eyelid... it BURNS!

That's beside the point, though. Reviews put me in a giving mood. Me in a giving mood makes me give out e-galleons. Should you choose to review and tell me what you think of this chapter, I shall add... -drumroll- 500 e-galleons to your e-accounts!

I really hope you all appreciate this e-galleon for reviewers thing. I'm still working htree jobs to keep it up! -sigh- Back to cleaning off walls in the Great Hall. Stupid Hufflepuffs. Why do they always feel the need to start a massive food fight?


	76. Chapter 76

Excuse for lack of update until now: I had family from out of town over.

* * *

_**SEVENTY-SIX**_

Frank and Alice had decided to stay at Hogwarts for the rest of the day. Lily couldn't be happier. It had been months since she'd seen Alice and they had so much to talk about.

Alice kept spinning her new ring around and around her finger. "I just can't believe it! Lily, I'm getting _married_!"

Lily smiled from ear to ear. "Yes, you are! I'm so happy for you! Frank is a really good man!"

"That he is. I can't wait to tell my family. They wouldn't admit it to me, but they were so hoping it would end like this."

"You have to let me know when you've set a date and all that fun! I am definitely coming!"

Alice's smile got even wider, if it were possible. "Of course you'll be there; you're my Maid of Honor!"

Lily squealed and jumped for joy. There was hardly anything in the world that would be able to bring her day down now.

"I'll talk to Dumbledore and McGonagall to see if I can pull you out of school a couple of days to help me find stuff." If Alice's smile got any bigger her face would tear in two.

Lily hugged Alice in response. "You can call dibs on being my Maid of Honor, now."

"What about Petunia?" Alice asked.

"Like she'd come," Lily said heavily. Her smile lessened somewhat.

"I'm not calling dibs unless Petunia says she won't," Alice said seriously.

"I'm calling dibs for you then," Lily said. She imitated Alice's voice and said clearly,"Dibs."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Who do you think the lucky guy will be?"

"I don't know," Lily said.

Alice's smile returned. "That's a lie."

"No it isn't. I don't know!"

Alice looked out a window in the hall way overseeing the grounds. Frank, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were doing who knows what. "James is such a nice guy."

Lily's face started to turn red. "No, Alice."

"What?" Alice said innocently.

"You know what! There is no way I will ever even go on a date with James Potter!"

"Oh, come on. You know he isn't that bad of a person."

Lily pursed her lips for a moment. "I told you about last year, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did. But I warned you about Snape. Everyone did. And you, my dear, made the decision to not forgive him. James didn't make you do that."

"No, Potter just made him do something that is impossible for me to forgive!" Lily huffed.

"Let me tell you one thing I know for certain, Lily," Alice said sincerely, " Severus Snape may have seemed like a very nice person, and I've no doubt he has the potential. But you had come to me several times worrying about the things he and his friends would talk about and do. Did you really want to keep that up? Do you think he has chosen to act on the potential he has? James is a good person. He doesn't want to hurt you. And I don't know if you're aware of this, but even though you've been very short with him, he'd still do _anything _for you."

Lily bit her tongue and glared out the window one more time before continuing her stroll around the castle. Alice waved at Frank and then hurried to catch up with Lily.

"Ah man, Frank. I can't believe you took the dive!" Sirius said as he lay down on the ground.

"You say it like it's a bad thing!" Frank said defensively.

"Don't listen to Sirius, Frank. You know he's just trying to aggravate you," Remus glared at Sirius as he spoke.

Frank opened his mouth and said firmly, "I don't look at it in any negative way. I get to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love."

"James, are you jealous?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

James took his eyes off the window that Lily and Alice had just been in and put them on Sirius. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"Eh. Give Lily time. She was starting to come around last year," Frank shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah, then I screwed it up," James voice was chalk full of remorse.

"I think you actually did her a favor," Frank said honestly.

"Frank!" Remus snapped.

"Yes, she lost a friend, but if she hadn't who knows where things could have led. Snape is one of the people that the Aurors are going to keep tabs on when he graduates."

"What?" James snarled. If Snape had been planning to hurt Lily, he'd kill him.

"Last year the Aurors asked the teachers here about all the students. A lot of them said that Snape showed extreme interest in the Dark Arts," Frank explained, then said quickly, "That information doesn't leave this conversation! Moody would kill me!"

"Who else are you going to keep tabs on?" Sirius had sat up and was paying very close attention to the conversation.

"No, no, no! I've already said way too much! I'm just saying that it's a good thing Lily isn't hanging around with Snape anymore, even if the reason she isn't hurts her."

"I say we kill him," Sirius said casually.

Remus glared at Sirius.

"Just try not to upset her, and giver her time, James," Frank said.

James made circles with his hand in the lake. His hand suddenly left the water, and then water was spilling down Frank's robes.

"Potter!" Frank snapped before chasing after the sixth year that had run off, laughing like a maniac.

* * *

It's short, it's not notebook format, I'm mean, I know. I do apologize. I'll try to get things back on schedule. :/

Anywho.... Reviews will make me cry with joy and give you 450 e-galleons! :D


	77. Chapter 77

_**SEVENTY-SEVEN**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Frank and Alice Longbottom has a nice sort of ring, doesn't it?

_Pomona, it's been a week. You can stop asking that question._

I can't help it!

_Yes you can. You just don't want to._

…Yeah, you're right. Too bad I'm still not going to stop!

_Maybe if we gag her and throw her in a closet…_

_I don't know. Students might get suspicious when they show up to the greenhouses and she's not there…_

Wow, thanks, friends.

Did you know that there's only two weeks before Christmas Break?

I've already been counting down. Fourteen more lousy days.

_This year hasn't been that bad, Pomona. Much better than last, at least._

Are you kidding me? Your sixth years aren't taking any major tests this year! They've gone back to their regular pranking schedule!

_No. Last year was more stressful._

Ohhh, you're speaking of your out-of-school schedule.

_Yes, I am._

Really? Not that much to do this year? No secret meetings or anything?

_Not as many. And don't start getting all snappy and irritable again._

Me? Snappy and irritable? Never!

_-cough LIAR cough-_

Did anyone ask for your opinion, Filius?

_I did. …Telepathically. _

_It's true._

You all are pains.

_And you aren't?_

Of course I'm not! I've been a perfect angel since day 1!

Oh my, more lies. Lying is a bad habit, Pomona.

I know you know what sarcasm is.

I do, but it's harder to sense on paper.

_No it isn't._

Well I'm not a master at it! I'm just a level or two below that.

_A level or two?_

Yes…

_No. You're at least 20 levels below Grand Master of Sarcasm._

Is that the title you carry?

_Indeed it is! _

That's not a title to be proud of, Minerva!

_It's better then being known as Queen of Gossip, Queen of Gossip._

Hey, I earned my title!

_I didn't?_

_Minerva, something just blew up by the library._

…_So?_

So go deal with it!

_Hey, it might not be them._

_This is a lovely lie-packed day._

_Am I wrong to hope?_

In this case? Yes.

_-sigh- They'll be the death of me._

Don't die. Who'd do the paperwork then?

_Now that I feel all warm and fuzzy inside, I'm going to go find a place with no witnesses._

No such place exists in Hogwarts!

_Then I'll make one!_

* * *

NOTEBOOK FORMAT! YESSSS!!! Uh... enjoy it... because the next four chapters are not notbook format... sorry, everyone! I just start writing stuff and then I don't stop! I'm out of control!!!! AHHH!!!!!!!!!! -drills idea into head- Notebook, notebook, notebook! What's the title of the story? Teachers' NOTEBOOK!

Save me from complete and total insanity. Review. It makes me smile. And I give you 450 e-galleons. :D


	78. Chapter 78

_**SEVENTY-EIGHT**_

"Happy Christmas, Professor!" James and Sirius shouted as they burst into the classroom. They were both decked out in Christmas themed clothes. Sirius even had antlers on.

"Well," Peter started, "technically, Christmas Eve."

"Eh! What's the difference?" Sirius said with a shrug.

Professor McGonagall looked at her students over her glasses and raised an eyebrow.

"We say Happy Christmas now because as a present for the staff, we're going to stay in the Tower ALL day tomorrow!" James exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air.

"Actually, we'll come out for dinner, because it's going to be delicious," Sirius commented.

The professor remained unmoved. "Potter, Lupin, clean off the boards. Black, Pettigrew, start on cages."

"You just wait, Professor. It'll happen! You won't see us at all tomorrow except for dinner!" James stated as he and Remus began cleaning off boards.

"James, I'm telling you right now. If you even attempt to start a chalk fight, I will tie you up and leave you that way until after dinner tomorrow!" Remus growled.

"Fine," James pouted.

The boys worked fairly quietly for close to five minutes before Lily Evans came into the room.

"Professor! I finished my paper. Can you look it over, please?" she gasped.

"Did you _run_ down here, Evans?" James asked. Lily only glared at him and put her scroll of parchment into McGonagall's waiting hand.

Things were going peacefully. James was managing to refrain from putting a chalky hand print on the back of Remus's robes, and Sirius and Peter were working without incident. Professor McGonagall was going through Lily's paper point by point to make sure she wouldn't have to go over it again with the girl.

Peter suddenly yelped and was staring that the fire. McGonagall glared at Sirius.

"It wasn't me, Professor! Honestly!" Sirius defended, putting his hands up as if to prove his point.

"No, no! There was… a _face_ in the fire!" Peter whispered.

"A) a face? In the fire? Totally not normal in this world," James said sarcastically, "and B) why are you whispering?"

Peter yelped again, and Professor McGonagall cast a glance at the fire just in time to see the face disappear. Color drained from her face and she stopped moving completely.

"That couldn't be who I thought it was… could it be?" Remus looked around at his friends and saw the answer in their faces.

"What?" Lily asked. Her back was to the fire.

McGonagall came back to reality. "All of you, over there!" she demanded, pointing to a corner where the face in the fire wouldn't see if it returned.

Lily didn't move fast enough to for the Marauders' satisfaction and was dragged over by James.

"What's going on?" Lily hissed, ripping her arm out of James' grasp.

"Shhh!" Sirius snarled.

Professor McGonagall rose from her seat and stood in front of the fire with her arms crossed, waiting.

The fire flashed brightly and spit out a few sparks.

"Ah, Minerva! So nice of you to notice that I've been dropping in!" a hissing voice said.

The voice sent shivers clear up to the top of Lily's spine. "That's not _him_, is it?" she mouthed to Remus. He nodded. Lily leaned against the wall and was trying not to panic.

The professor didn't respond, just continued waiting.

"You've sent them back. Potter, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew and Miss Evans, correct?" Voldemort's snake like voice asked.

"What do you want?" McGonagall asked through gritted teeth.

"Well, I came here to visit your friend. She's not here, though. I was rather disappointed, I'll admit. However, in her stead, I found two other people that will do just as well. I always forget, what is dear Marlene's daughter's name?"

"Don't you touch her!" McGonagall snapped, her hands twisting into fists.

"I won't, if you can just help me get her to see sense, or maybe see sense yourself," Voldemort said carelessly.

"We should get Dumbledore!" Lily breathed.

"Oh yeah, because we can totally get to the door without being seen!" James quipped quietly.

"I've seen you working on the grounds at night. Use that spell!" Lily fought back.

"Patronuses can't exactly go through walls, no matter their appearance. Our only hope at getting anyone in time is that a ghost comes through the wall right here and goes no further. Now shush!" James demanded.

"She's old enough to make her own decision. She's chosen her side," McGonagall answered. "I won't try to sway her from it."

"How about swaying him?" Voldemort asked.

McGonagall's eyes widened slightly. Not Brian, too! "He's made his choice, as well."

"And what about you? Do you stay by the decision you've made? If you've change your mind I'll be happy to let them both go unharmed," Voldemort persuaded.

McGonagall looked like she was actually considering it. If it would truly save Solana and Brian…

"Professor, no! Don't fall for it! You know he doesn't mean it!" Brian shouted from somewhere behind his captor.

"You'd be taking more lives than you'd be saving!" Solana added.

Voldemort sighed in aggravation as he saw his softened target go hard again. He turned around to face the room he was in. "Kill the boy."

A feminine voice shouted "_Avada Kedavra!"_ At the same time, Solana let out a cry of anguish and pain. Sirius recognized his cousin's voice and had the strong desire to jump through the fire and kill her with his bare hands.

McGonagall looked completely blank.

"Do you know why that boy died?" Voldemort asked as he turned back around.

The professor was still stunned. All she could hear were the sobs emitting from Solana somewhere in the back ground.

"Minerva, I'll ask again. Do you know why that boy just died?"

McGonagall snapped back to her strong self. The blazing fire returned to her eyes and she straightened to her full height.

"He died because you're too stubborn to do as an old friend requests!" Voldemort snarled.

"Old friend?" McGonagall repeated with disdain. "You, _Riddle_, are a friend to no one!"

Voldemort's lip curled in anger. "Perhaps you need more persuasion," he suggested.

Solana's head suddenly appeared in the fire next to his. Her face was tearstained, and her eyes were still pouring. She looked her old professor in the eye and shook her head.

"Do you really think it's fair to kill a second former student because you want to do 'the right thing?' Isn't saving a life the right thing to do?"

"You don't save lives," Solana spat, "you take them without a second thought!" Her voice was chalk full of emotion. "Professor, don't do it! It isn't worth it! You saw what he did! There's nothing you can do."

McGonagall was falling apart on the inside. Here was her former student, about to die in the greatest emotional pain, and fully knowing it.

"Yes or no, Minerva? There's no way out of it now," Voldemort leered at her. "Time on this offer is running low…"

Professor McGonagall was clearly fighting with herself. She wanted to save Solana, if possible, but past experiences and Solana herself were saying it wouldn't help…

"Time's up!" Voldemort said quietly.

Solana's face disappeared and the same cruel voice as earlier shouted the words that brought her death.

"You've missed your last opportunity to protect all that you cherish," Voldemort said venomously.

McGonagall's eyes burned with anger, and she began reaching for her wand.

"No!" Lily whispered. "No! She can't! If she fires a spell it'll form a stronger connection between the fireplaces! He'll be able to come through!"

"She's not planning on firing a spell just yet," Remus said in a rush. They watched as McGonagall threw a pinch of powder and take a few steps closer to the fire, getting ready to step through the now green flames.

"Professor! No!" James shouted. He and Sirius suddenly disappeared and were replaced by a stag and large dog that charged the school professor and knocked her out of harm's way. Remus, Lily, and Peter ran across to the other side of the room to join James and Sirius.

Remus kicked the Professor's wand far out of her reach. Lily looked at her Professor. She'd hit her head and passed out. Lily noticed the Marauders moving. They stood defiantly in front of the face of Voldemort that was still in the fire.

"What brave boys," Voldemort teased. "Is Miss Evans not brave enough to come face me as well?" he continued mocking.

Lily wouldn't have it. She was no coward. Breathing heavily, she stood up and stepped next to her classmates.

"Of course. Gryffindors are always brave, aren't they, Pettigrew?"

"Leave us alone, Tom Marvolo Riddle," James demanded.

"Half-blood!" Sirius tacked on.

"Criminal!" Remus spat.

"Coward!" Lily cried out.

James raised his wand and extinguished the fire without another word, and silenced the outraged Voldemort with it.

* * *

Gah! Curses upon Voldemort!

I know, I know. You all thought I got rid of my Drama Queen crown. My friends just keep getting me new ones! I'm sorry! -sobs in a dark corner-

Even though this is in the negative for humor points, please be nice and leave a review. I trade your opinion for 500 e-gallones! It's true! Do you know how much you can get in Hogsmeade for that?


	79. Chapter 79

_**SEVENTY-NINE**_

James hardly paused at all before turning around to his fellows. "Remus, _sprint_ and get Dumbledore and Madame Pomfery."

Remus didn't say anything, but was out of the room in a millisecond.

"Lily, keep an eye on McGonagall until Pomfery gets here. Pete, go outside the door and don't let anyone in unless it's Dumbledore, Pomfery, or Remus. Sirius, help me make sure that fire doesn't start again!"

The students set right to work. Lily made sure the professor wasn't in too much danger and then began trying to figure out just what she'd slammed her head on. Peter did as he was told and shooed away a few students that had tried to get in. Sirius and James pulled the logs out of the fireplace and drenched them in water before covering them in ashes.

Remus soon returned with Dumbledore and Madame Pomfery. The nurse made a bee line to the fallen teacher and listened to Lily point out what few things the professor might have hit her head on.

"Is what Mr. Lupin told me true?" Dumbledore demanded. He was absolutely furious that something like this might have happened.

"It is, sir. We were here through all of it," James admitted.

"Remus, go down to Hagrid tell him what you told me. Tell him to call Alastor Moody and anyone else he sees fit."

Remus nodded and ran out of the room once more.

"What's going on in here?" Professor Sprout asked, popping her head in.

"Pomona! Out!" Dumbledore commanded harshly. Sprout didn't hide the hurt and anger on her face, but left anyway.

Peter sent James an apologetic look through the open door before closing it again, now knowing "anyone" included other staff members.

"James, Sirius, Lily," Dumbledore called the students to him, "tell me everything."

"Professor, wouldn't it be safer to leave the room?" Lily asked nervously.

"You will stay here for now," Dumbledore replied. "Tell me what happened!"

Between the three Gryffindors, Dumbledore had every detail (but one) of the unwanted visit. Lily was crying by the end.

"That was very brave of you," Dumbledore said after the story finished. "However, foolishness often accompanies bravery, and this is no exception." He looked at the students over his glasses.

"Yes, Professor," James responded.

There was silence for a moment as Dumbledore processed the story.

"Professor," Sirius started, more than a touch of anger in his voice, "how could this have happened? The floo network isn't supposed to work at Hogwarts!"

Dumbledore looked at Sirius sadly. "Alas, the blame for this can be traced to me. I opened the network between certain offices here and a few people's houses," he admitted.

Lily waited, but neither James nor Sirius asked the question. "Why?" she finally said.

"Perhaps one day, I'll be able to tell you, Miss Evans," Dumbledore replied.

Madame Pomfery had McGonagall on a floating stretcher and left in a hurry.

"Professor, shouldn't you call the McKinnons?" Lily suggested.

"Hagrid will. They'll arrive shortly."

"May we leave?" Sirius asked. James looked at his friend. Sirius wanted to scream in frustration and anger. People were dying at the hand of his relative, and there wasn't anything he could do about it yet.

"No," Dumbledore answered. "Mr. Moody will want to hear everything from you directly."

Remus came back into the room. He'd obviously been running, but was by no means out of breath. "Hagrid didn't call the McKinnons, Professor. He said that they should be told by you, personally."

"Very well," Dumbledore said solemnly.

"Remus, can I hit you?" Sirius asked.

"If it'll make you feel better…" Remus replied with a shrug. Sirius wound up, and swung at Remus's gut. Lily gasped, but Remus showed no signs of pain. "Did it help at all?"

"Hardly," Sirius responded through gritted teeth as he rubbed his knuckles. "You need a little less muscle and a little more fat, Moony!"

"I think we both know that it's physically impossible for me to get fat." Remus attempted a small smile.

"What's wrong with you all?" Lily suddenly snapped. "We just witnessed two people's deaths and you're making jokes?!"

"What else can we do, Evans? Huh? You tell us, and we'll do it," James shouted back and began pacing.

Lily huffed and leaned against a wall with her arms crossed.

Dumbledore observed his frustrated students. He could see that they wanted to fight so badly. There was no doubt in his mind what they'd be doing once they got out of school, and it honestly frightened him. Solana and Brian were dead, and they hadn't ever even met Voldemort, much less insult him personally. That did not spell a happy ending for the Gryffindor Sixth Years.

Several members of the Order of the Phoenix arrived and James, Sirius, Remus, and Lily were forced to tell the story once again.

"Alright, back to the dorms with you," Moody said shortly once they'd finished.

"Wait," James requested, "Where's Pete?"

"The boy outside the door? Fool wouldn't let us in. You'll have to carry him back," Moody said carelessly. "Now get out!"

James, Sirius, Remus, Lily, and an unconscious Peter were escorted back to the Tower by Edgar Bones. They didn't say a word the entire way. The boys kept their silence once they got to their room. Each knew the others were awake, but chose not to say anything.

James could swear he heard the sobs and cries of Marlene McKinnon's agony, though he was surely far away from where she was. He silently cried himself to an unrestful sleep.

* * *

Alright, so I'm starting to hit walls with this story. Writer's block! RAWR! Updates are likely to slow down for a bit until my brain decides to function properly once more. I'm sorry!!!!!

If you review I shall give you.... 400 e-galleons and an e-butterbeer! Isn't it worth it to type out a sentance or two? Come on... click the button! :)


	80. Chapter 80

James awoke for the seventh time. He gave up completely and leaned up in bed. A weird sound was coming from across the room, from behind Sirius's curtains. James put on his glasses and went to investigate. He pulled back the curtains on his friend's bed to reveal its inhabitant throwing a knife at the post, summoning it to himself, and throwing it again, and again, and again.

"You couldn't sleep either," James stated.

"I don't think anyone did but Pete," Remus said, opening his curtains, "and that was only because of God knows what Moody did to him."

None of the boys said anything for a while. There was only the dull thud coming from a knife meeting a bed post.

"I hate her," Sirius suddenly said. "I absolutely hate her!" His knife sailed past the bed post into the abyss of the room. "How can she live with herself? Why do I have to be related to her? I don't get it! I hate them all!"

"You were just born into the wrong family, Padfoot." Remus knew it didn't fix anything, but what else could he say?

"How am I supposed to go back to Grimmauld Place this summer? They all support her, think she's a goddess! Just the thought of it makes me sick! I can't do it!" Sirius summoned his knife and threw it at the bedpost so hard it refused to come out.

"You're not going back!" James said determinedly. "Get your robe on, we're going to the owlery." James didn't wait for a reply before grabbing his own robe.

"Peter!" Remus called, throwing open the only curtains that had still been closed. The bed was made and empty. "…Where'd he go?"

James looked at the bed, then out the window. It was hardly light out, so breakfast wasn't out. Where had Peter gone? "I don't know. We'll see him later though. Right now, we're going."

Remus threw on his robe and joined James and Sirius at the door. The three marched down to the common room and were about to exit it.

"You lot didn't sleep, either," said a voice by the fireplace. Lily Evans stood up and faced them. Her eyes were red rimmed and bags were developing under them.

"Nope, I spend the whole night waking up in a cold sweat, Sirius spend the night shredding up his bed frame with a knife, and Remus… what were you doing, Remmy?"

"I, James, spent the night trying to read myself to sleep. Did not work at all. What about you, Lily?"

"I didn't even try to sleep. Why bother sleeping when you can have the nightmare and still be awake, eh?" Lily said with dark sarcasm. "Look, do you mind if I go to the owlery with you?"

James was about to tell her to get her robe or a coat, but then he noticed that she hadn't changed since last night. He and his friends nodded and the Gryffindors left their tower and headed towards the owlery to ensure Sirius didn't have to return to the Blacks over the summer.

* * *

Minerva McGonagall looked out the hospital wing window and watched four sixth year Gryffindors process to the owlery. They had to be so tired… she bet they hadn't gotten any rest. And it was her fault.

"You, Minerva," said a rough voice from behind, "for someone so smart, are an idiot!" Minerva chose not to reply. Alastor Moody sat down to the side of her bed. "And because of your idiocy, those four students, plus Pettigrew, are going to be in a lot of trouble when they leave Hogwarts."

"Thanks for the morale support, Alastor," Minerva sighed.

"I don't think I'd give you morale support right now if someone paid me. You don't deserve it. You put five students' lives on the line because you let yourself go!"

"Brian and Solana were students, too."

"Were!" Alastor's voice began to rise, "Past tense! They graduated! They were adults! They weren't your responsibility anymore! Your responsibility was those five Gryffindors that very well could have been killed if they didn't act as your self control!"

Minerva again chose to not respond.

Alastor sighed heavily. He could almost see the guilt taking over his old friend. "Look," his voice went past normal, it was abnormally humane, "Dumbledore's – "

"Alastor, you're needed elsewhere!" declared the familiar voice of Albus Dumbledore from the doorway of the hospital wing.

Minerva had the rare feeling of wanting to disappear. Dumbledore, the only person that could make her feel any guiltier. Just what she needed.

Alastor rose and left the room. Dumbledore took his seat and didn't say anything for a moment.

"Have you come to yell at me, too?" Minerva asked without looking at him.

"No," Dumbledore said heavily, "I come to bring more bad news." He paused. "I can't allow you to be on the public front of the Order anymore."

"What?" Minerva snapped. Her head turned so quickly towards the headmaster that her neck cracked and pain shot through her.

"Voldemort wants to kill you personally, and he'll stop at nothing to do it."

"Same with Alastor!" Minerva defended herself.

"Voldemort can't get to Alastor as easily as he can to you!" Dumbledore tried hard to keep from raising his voice. "I'm sure Alastor already pointed this out to you, but you lost control of yourself last night and it could have cost _five students_ their lives! I understand that Solana and Brian were your students as well, but they left Hogwarts and made their own choice and knew very well what might happen to them."

"I still had a chance to save them!"

"No, Minerva, you did not. Which is another reason you can't be on the front. You fell for his lies! Had you accepted his offer, he would have made you swear under the Unbreakable Vow, and then killed Solana and Brian. I hope and pray that you would have broken the Vow, though you would have wound up dead, as well. There was nothing that could have been done to save them. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Tell that to Marlene," Minerva snarled. She was furious. Yes, she admitted she'd messed up, but was that really worth taking her off the front? She wanted to fight, to make a difference! How could she do that if all she was going to be doing was pushing papers around?

"Marlene doesn't blame you. She understands the situation and knows that if there had been a way to save Solana and Brian, you would have done it. You almost did do what you foolishly thought would work."

"Albus! I get it! I messed up! I was stupid, and I wasn't thinking clearly! But Merlin's Beard, I'm already stuck in here for who knows how long with my thoughts! And now I have the thought that I can't fight anymore. Don't you think I'll be punishing myself enough? Get out!"

Dumbledore looked his deputy in the eye. Too many things were going through them to figure out just what she was thinking. He exhaled and left.

Minerva turned her head back towards the window with heavy breath. Now, when she wanted to fight more than anything, she wouldn't be allowed to. Ever.

She involuntarily stopped breathing when Minerva saw the figures of Bob and Marlene McKinnon making their way across the grounds. Four other figures were soon running after them. Minerva didn't want to watch. She turned away from the window and stared up at the ceiling.

* * *

"James, I'm pretty sure that there was the reason I chose to be your friend First Year!" Sirius said as he, James, Remus, and Lily came out of the owlery.

"I'm glad that I'm worth such a high value to you, Padfoot," James replied with a hint of a smile. "Mum and Dad will probably go with you to get anything you need out of there."

"Naw, tell Mum and Dad they don't have to. I've got everything I need right here at Hogwarts!" Sirius' spirits were soaring. He never had to go back to Grimmauld place!

"Aren't those the McKinnons?" Sirius' spirits took a nose dive and crashed with Lily's words.

Sure enough, there were Bob and Marlene McKinnon three fourths of the way to the gate.

James suddenly took off towards them at full speed. The rest of the sixth years followed, not sure at all of what James' plan was.

Just before the group got to the McKinnons, Mrs. McKinnon fell into the snow and covered her face as her shoulders started to shake. Mr. McKinnon lowered himself to be at eye level with his wife.

James stopped right in front of the scene, nearly out of breath. "Mr. McKinnon? Mrs. McKinnon? I don't know if you know, but I'm James Potter. This is Sirius, Remus Lupin, and Lily Evans. We, uh… we were there last night, along with our other friend Peter Pettigrew."

Mrs. McKinnon raised her eyes to look at the students. "I'm sorry you had to be there for that," she said quietly.

James decided not to acknowledge the apology. It wasn't necessary. "May we come to the funeral? Please?"

Mrs. McKinnon nodded, no longer able to speak.

"Thank you!" Lily gasped.

"We'll have Professor Dumbledore or McGonagall make sure you get there," Bob McKinnon said. He helped his wife out of the snow and out through the gate. The couple disappeared, leaving the four sixth years out in the snow.

"The day we graduate," Sirius' voice sounded odd, packed with something Lily couldn't quite pin point, "I can't wait for it."

"Why?" Lily asked after a moment.

Sirius snapped his burning eyes onto the red head. "Because when that day comes, I'm going to fight. I'm going to find Bellatrix Black LeStrange, and I'm going to kill her myself with my bare hands!"

James put his hand on his friend's shoulder and Lily took a few steps back.

"I say we start practicing fighting, NOW!" Sirius exclaimed. On his last word, he drew his wand and fired at Remus, who managed to block the spell just in time. James quickly joined in.

Lily only entered the duel when on of James' spells nearly missed her. The longer it went on, the more wound up she seemed to get. She felt something click within her. The twisting, turning, firing, and defending felt natural. She loved it, and she knew that this is what she wanted to do.

* * *

Minerva looked out her window again to see four students out in the snow. She pushed herself up to see better. They were dueling! Why were they dueling?

She needed to call Poppy to go fix the situation, but she got wrapped up. They were all fighting so well!

After a while, all the students put down their wands. Then, one by one, they smiled weakly. The smiles got stronger and stronger before they finally turned into laughter.

Minerva watched her students fall back into the snow, completely out of breath. She could almost see the stress and frustration rolling off them.

* * *

One more non-notebook chapter to go! Then we will return to our regularly scheduled program. Promise.

400 e-galleons for your thoughts in the form of a review! :D


	81. Chapter 81

_**EIGHTY-ONE**_

The hospital wing doors flew open. Professor McGonagall ignored it. If someone else was there to yell at her, so be it. It wasn't like there was anything she could do to avoid it without Poppy killing her.

"Good evening, Professor!" said a cheery voice to the side.

McGonagall turned her head slightly. Potter and company. That was something she wanted even less than someone coming to "talk to her" again.

Lily looked at her unspeaking professor. She hardly looked like the transfiguration mistress. She looked exhausted. Her hair had been taken out of its usual bun and pulled into a braid. It was longer than Lily would have imagined. The professor's usual robes had been ditched for the normal hospital wing apparel. And then there was the facial expression. Lily hadn't ever seen it on Professor McGonagall's face before, so she couldn't identify it.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter (who had been found halfway through the day) ignored the fact that their teacher was anything but her usual self and walked over to a neighboring bed. They each threw a bag they were carrying onto it.

"It's Christmas, Professor! We couldn't possibly leave you up here by yourself! How dull and uneventful that would be!" Sirius explained.

When the professor turned her head to continue staring out the window, James spoke again, "We've got some connections in the kitchens, so we took advantage of it and grabbed some food. We've got…" James turned to the dishes being laid out by his friends and listed them off.

McGonagall continued to show no interest. James and Sirius looked at each other. They then walked around to the side of their teacher's bed and pushed it towards the food. "Come on, for someone who hasn't eaten all day a semi-warm meal from the kitchens is a feast!"

The professor finally looked at James with a hint of her usual glare.

"We may have run past a muttering Madame Pomfrey in the hall," James explained. He grabbed a plate and began tossing food onto it.

Lily began wishing she hadn't asked to come. Like she usually did around the four boys and… any professor, really, she felt completely out of place and very awkward.

James handed Lily the plate he'd been piling food onto. "Since you're too shy to get it yourself," he whispered before returning to the makeshift table to get a plate for himself.

"Remmy! Chuck me a piece of chicken, would you?" Sirius requested. A chicken leg flew through the air and Sirius caught it in his mouth with skill. He put down his plate and raised his arms in victory before pointing to the food hanging out of his mouth. He began trying to speak through the chicken.

"For heaven's sake!" McGonagall snapped, "Lupin talks into his robes, and you, Black, speak with your mouth full! Don't any of you know how to talk properly?"

Sirius took the chicken out of his mouth and placed it on his plate. "Ah ha, I win. Pay up, Potter!" He held out his hand expectantly. James placed a few coins into it. "I got you to say something before he did," Sirius said to the Professor.

McGonagall looked skyward. They would.

"You should have seen the duel we had earlier, Professor!" James said as he pulled up a chair for himself, "It was crazy! I almost beat Remus!"

"Hey, I didn't get hit by that jinx!" Remus said.

"Yeah, because you face-planted to avoid it!" Sirius chuckled. Remus made a face at his friend. "Isn't that the face that he made in the snow?"

"Sirius, shut up."

"I did see the duel, actually," McGonagall admitted after a moment.

"No way!" James sat up in his seat. "What'd you think?"

McGonagall hadn't intended on saying anything else, but under the pressure of four eager students' stares, she cracked. "You're defense is a bit weak, Potter. Black, you try to take on too much at once. That's going to get you into a lot of trouble. Miss Evans, I was surprised with your charms work, use more of it. Your offensive suffered because you didn't. Lupin, smart idea, using basic spells. If you work on them more, you can make them do some rather interesting things. Trip Jinxes are good ones to start with."

Remus looked at his friends. "Any volunteers to be my test subject?"

"Sirius'll do it!" James said, slapping his friend on the back.

"By volunteering someone else, you're volunteering yourself, James."

"If that's so, you're technically volunteering me by saying that, so you're volunteering yourself! Problem solved! Remus is going to use himself as his test dummy!"

Remus couldn't help but join in the laughter with James and Sirius. Even Lily giggled a bit. Peter, on the other hand, looked very confused. "How's that going to work?"

"It's Remus Lupin! He's indestructible, and super smart. I'm sure he'll figure out a way. Cut himself in half, maybe?" Sirius joked.

"Naw," Remus began, "I tried last week. The knife broke!"

"That's what happened to it! Why'd you use my knife? I liked that one!" Sirius played along.

Lily slowed her chewing and looked at the boys. "Last night," she started, "You punched Remus in the stomach. He didn't react, and now you're talking about him being indestructible and breaking knives… what am I missing?"

The laughter suddenly stopped. McGonagall's eyes widened. Idiots!

"Remmy is a mutant," James said dramatically after a moment, "we've hidden it as long as we possibly could!"

"I thought he was an alien… Remus, which one is it?" Sirius begged.

"Actually," Remus contradicted, "I'm neither. You didn't know it until now," he sighed deeply, "I'm a demon sent from hell to gain your trust and then kill the entire human race."

"Dang it!" Sirius exclaimed. "We should have known the goody-two-shoes was an act!"

Lily looked at them suspiciously, but knew she wouldn't get the real answer.

"Tell us, Remus, so we can save everyone, how do we rid the world of you?" James asked with mock sincerity.

"You can't," Remus said darkly, "I've grown too strong for all of you!" He gave a sinister chuckle. "You're all doomed!"

"Remus, that's scary," Peter said smally.

"Is it, Wormtail?" Remus continued, thinking it was a joke. "Who shall be the first to go… ah… Potter! Come here for a moment, I have to tell you something!"

"Sirius, do you want to help me out here?" James inquired as Remus got out of his chair.

"Nope," Sirius replied, "He's after only you right now. If I interfere he'll take me out, too."

James abandoned his plate and dove to the side as Remus jumped at him.

"Professor!" Lily cried as James and Remus began brawling.

"Do I look like I can do much of anything, Miss Evans?" McGonagall said, more than a little irritably.

"Oh, I've got this!" Sirius said, rising from his seat. He grabbed a pillowcase off a pillow, wet it, and rolled it. He chuckled evilly as he approached his friends and whipped James with his new weapon.

"Ah, Black! What the heck?" James asked, straightening and rubbing his back.

"Well, if it'll make you feel better," Sirius flicked his wrist and the soaked pillow case collided with Remus.

Remus breathed in and looked over towards James with a smile. He walked over to his friend and shook his hand in truce. They turned to face Sirius and began walked towards him.

"Oh, boo! This isn't fair! Moony and Prongs versus Padfoot? Really?" Sirius said as he backed up.

"I say we cut that dog's hair. What about you, Prongs?"

"I'm all for it, Moony!"

"No…" Sirius said slowly. He sped up every time he said it, "No, no, no, no, no, no! Do not touch its hair!" He threw his hands over his hair as if that would protect it.

"Would you like to restrain or cut?" Remus asked.

"Oh, I'd much rather cut," James said, drawing his wand.

"Very well," Remus said calmly. He jumped at Sirius and pinned him to the ground.

"Hey, James, you're not really serious, are you?" Sirius said with an undertone of panic. James didn't respond, just continued towards him. "Hey… hey, Pete! You want to come help me out a bit?"

"I don't think I'll be any good against James and Remus."

"Hey, Evans! Potter, you don't like him, right? Now's your chance to curse him!"

"Merlin's beard, Black! All you have to do is ask!" Lily flicked her wand and James and Remus both fell over. Sirius popped up quickly. "I tire of your foolishness. Stop it."

"Of course, Great Lily Evans!" Sirius said. He rushed over to his chair, sat down, and continued eating, thankful he still had all his hair.

"If I'd known you were coming up here I would have stopped you!" screeched a voice from the doorway. James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Lily all tensed at the matron's voice. "Out with you lot!"

"Well, you see, Madame Pomfrey, - " James began trying to defend himself and his kin.

"I don't care! I did not give you permission to come up here, and I'm certain that Professor McGonagall did not ask you here! Down to the Great Hall with you!" Madame Pomfrey began shoving the students out.

"We're going, we're going!" Sirius said, throwing his hands up.

"Happy Christmas, Professor!" James called over his shoulder as he was pushed out of the Hospital wing.

The doors shut. Madame Pomfrey set to work, restoring her wing to order, muttering to herself the entire time. Professor McGonagall sighed and resumed her staring contest with the grounds.

* * *

"Madame Pomfrey spoils everything," James said sourly as the group made their way down to the Great Hall.

"Agreed. I say we get her," Sirius suggested.

"Are you insane?" Remus exclaimed.

"Has he ever not been? It's Black!" Lily quipped.

"Funny, Evans!" Sirius said sarcastically. "I'm perfectly sane, Siriusly!" A wide grin spread over his face.

"Not the serious Sirius jokes again!" Remus whined.

"But they're so much fun!"

"James, grab your wand. It's cutting time!" Remus growled. He began stepping towards Sirius, who panicked and ran off down the hall. Remus smiled. "Mission: Accomplished!"

* * *

Back to the notebook next chapter! Hoorah!

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	82. Chapter 82

_**EIGHTY TWO – a week or two later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Does anyone know why Black suddenly chopped off his hair?

_Oh, I'm sure he didn't._

You're kidding!

_No, I'm not. Potter and Lupin have been threatening to cut his hair for weeks. _

Poor Mr. Black. I remember one time I went to sleep and woke to discover my room mates had cut off the majority of my hair. Dark days. 

_I think you should call a reunion with your friends. Your hair's too long again._

It is not! Leave me alone. 

_Hair down to your belt buckle? Yeah, that's a little long._

It'll be the height of fashion in a few years.

_I shudder at the thought. _

Your hair is longer than mine!

_I'm a woman. We're supposed to have long hair. _

That's beside the point.

…_No it isn't._

I think Black looks better with short hair.

_Problem is that he's near unrecognizable. I know I've almost let him slide twice already because I thought he was someone else._

This is problematic…

_I'm sure he'll find a spell to regrow his hair in no time._

With Lupin against him, he doesn't stand a chance. The smarter ones always win.

_Black's plenty smart. He just chooses not to act like it._

…Which leads people to believe he's unintelligent. Don't you see the dilemma?

_Oh, my. There goes Mr. Black trying to get his revenge out on the grounds now. Oh… that tackle had to hurt…_

_He must be attacking Potter, then?_

_Yep. I don't see Lupin or Pettigrew anywhere…_

_Black's got the upper hand now, but only until the rest of the group finds him._

_Ah, of course. Speak of the devil and he shall come. Out onto the grounds walks Remus Lupin… aaand… there goes Black… with Potter on his back._

_He still won't get far. _

_Right again. Down he goes. _

_I tire of this. It's too predictable._

That doesn't make it any less amusing.

**Why are we laughing at students physically abusing each other?**

Pah. That's not abuse.

**I consider tackling abuse!**

_You consider someone depriving someone else of crystallized pineapple abuse._

**THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS!**

_Not in your case._

**What's that supposed to mean, Minerva?**

_Nothing, Horace._

She means them taking away your pineapple would be doing you a favor, chubby.

**I have thick bones! Leave me alone.**

_You certainly have a thick skull._

**I don't appreciate these comments.**

_Pity._

**It sounds like someone needs a nap to me!**

_Even if I could sleep, I don't have time right now._

**So you have time to write in your notebook… but not sleep?**

_Ever heard of classes and essays and paperwork, Horace?_

**Trivial matters.**

_Sure they are, when you don't have to deal with them._

**I assign essays plenty!**

And then they take two seconds to grade.

**Convenient, no?**

_Does anyone know why Black is now holding a knife to Potter's stomach over by the lake?_

Nope. But maybe, if we're lucky, they'll kill each other and we don't have to deal with them anymore.

_Not funny, Pomona._

Someone IS a little bit crabby. Perhaps you do need a nap.

_Interesting. I couldn't help myself, I opened my window. Black's threatening to 'sacrifices James' guts to Squiddy' if Lupin doesn't regrow his hair._

That's an unoriginal threat. I used it all the time in my school days.

_Were you ever actually holding a knife to your classmate's stomach, though?_

_Yes._

_Oh dear. How terrifying that must have been._

_It wasn't for long. She had a knife, but she doesn't keep a good watch on her pocket._

I thought I'd left my wand in my room!

_Sure you did._

I tire of this foolishness.

_Look who's getting grumpy now!_

**Has anyone else noticed how odd that word is? Grumpy… crabby… where do we get these words?**

…

_I'm too astounded by the abnormality of the question to even make up an answer._

You've reduced her to speechlessness! Do that more often, Horace!

_I'm not speechless. If I was I wouldn't be writing/talking/whatever, now would I?_

…Kill joy.

_That's my job. You've got the easy part. _

We're not going to start comparing job duties again.

_Because you know I'll win._

Because I want to sleep. Good night!

_For some. I have a huge stack of papers in front of me to deal with._

And you started writing in the Notebook instead of dealing with the papers… why?

_I was procrastinating. I remember why I gave it up all those years ago now._

I see. Good luck, then!

_Yeah, that'll do me lots of good._

* * *

Yay notebook!

...I have no witty comment for you today. I apologize. Be good lads and lasses anyway. Review, please! There's 475 e-galleons in it for you if you do!


	83. Chapter 83

_**EIGHTY THREE**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

Is it time for summer yet?

_I'm afraid not. Four more months to go._

This is ridiculous!

**Four? I thought it was five…**

_No, Horace. This is February, the second month of the year. School ends in June, the sixth month of the year. Then we start again in September, the ninth month of the year._

**Whoops… I've been saying it's January all month!**

_Wow…_

Way to be on top of things, Horace.

**I'm not dealing with this!**

Ta da! Made him go away already! Record time?

_0.2 seconds off, if I remember correctly._

Oh, boo.

On the bright side, it is only four months instead of five, though I don't look forward to the summer.

_You never do._

Yes, yes. I know. I don't have papers to deal with and I can always sleep in and all those other things you tell me all the time.

_Not ALL the time._

Fairly close to.

Ugh. Don't you hate it when you just don't feel like doing anything but you have things you need to do?

_Oh, that's the worst._

Actually, there's something worse. You see, if you just – 

_Heavens, no! No stories. _

You're just… I can't even think of the word…

_Bravo._

I don't appreciate your mocking me. 

_No one ever does. But I do it anyway!_

It makes her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

**Being cruel does that to dark people!**

_Didn't we get rid of you?_

**I'm rather hard to get rid of.**

_That so?_

Oh, dear. Horace, you've challenged her.

**Doesn't scare me any!**

_It doesn't now… but I'd sleep with an eye open._

**You know, I've tried that before and it's rather difficult. **

_-rolls eyes-_

Ah. Just kill him in broad daylight. No one will care.

**Hey!**

_True, but then I'd have to shut all the witnesses up, and it'd just be a huge mess. I don't feel like dealing with it. _

**I'm thinking of a word that rhymes with 'witch.'**

_That's mature._

**So is being sarcastic all the time.**

_I can't help it! Sarcasm is my defense against stupidity._

…**Are you calling me stupid?**

_Why of COURSE not, Horace!_

**I don't appreciate these implications. **

_Oh well. _

_Minerva, your boys just got three days of detention, so add that on to however long they're in for now._

_-sigh- What'd they do now?_

_Some incident involving a wire tied low across the beginning of a staircase that caused some poor unfortunate student to tumble down it. _

Don't they know that's what trip jinxes are for?

_But where's the fun in that?_

It involves less effort.

_True._

Oh goodness, two more Aurors gone. I'm growing rather tired of this.

_Things keep going like they are and there won't be any Aurors left! If only – _

No. 

_Fine!_

If I ask, will I get an answer?

No.

_Nope._

I really hate it when you do that.

_Speak of the devil… no, I guess that phrase wouldn't really work… we weren't really talking about him…_

_Filius?_

_Alastor's at the gates._

…

_Oh! I'll get it! Let me! _

Wish granted!

_Yeah, yeah._

Well… this has been fun, but I'm off to go untangle some idiot child from the plants I told him not to go by just three minutes ago.

_Sounds like an amazing time! _

And if a vine just happens to go around his neck…

_Not funny, Pomona!_

Heavens! You're just everywhere all of a sudden!

_Now you know how it feels!_


	84. Chapter 84

_**EIGHTY FOUR – weeks later – out on grounds**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

**Guess what!**

What?

**Only a year and three months left before we can join the Order!!!!**

Ah! Sirius! Why'd you start the countdown already? Now time's just going to pass slower!

_Why start the countdown at all? There's still no guarantee we'll get in._

I'm tired of you being a downer, Remus.

_I'm not trying to be a downer. I'm being practical! Maybe after Solana and Brian Dumbledore's reconsidered the age at which he'll allow people in._

Oh… that is a point there…

**We'll try anyway. Even if we, for some odd reason, do not get into the Order, I'm still finding Trixie. **

_Trixie is going to be hard to find, Sirius!_

**Good thing I'm up for it then! **

Why is it that we call her Trixie?

**Because she hates it when people call that. Sometimes it's the small things in life that give you some amount of satisfaction. **

**YOU HEAR THAT, BLACKHEART?! I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU TRIXIE FOR TWO WHOLE YEARS NOW, IN PUBLIC!!!!!**

Much as you wish, Padfoot, I don't think she heard –

_**-Thunder rumbles-**_

…That was really coincidental…

**She heard, oh she heard! (:**

_Well, if she did by some miracle here that, she's somewhere close by and we're done for._

**Pffft! The Marauders are never done for!  
**

Oh, hey! What's that green thing in the sky way over there?

**Oh, crap!**

…On the semi-bright side… it's not Hogsmeade this time… Not yet, at least.

_Just because it's not Hogsmeade doesn't mean Hogwarts isn't in danger. Come on, we should go tell Dumbledore!_

**Hey! Dumbledore! Voldie's being mean again! Can I kill him?**

_Hey, this isn't a joke, Sirius! Let's go!_

**I wasn't joking, Remus!**

* * *

_**TEACHERS' NOTEBOOK**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Countdown, three months!

_Just to double check… What month is it, Horace?_

**Very funny, Minerva. I know it's March.**

_Oh, Bravo!_

_Is anyone else extremely puzzled as to why the sixth year boys pass notes for everything rather than just talking?_

_I gave up on trying to figure them out. What are they doing now?_

_Passing notes out on the lawn. It just doesn't make sense…_

Does anything involving them make sense?

_Fair point…_

Has anyone, by chance, seen a large history book?

_Well, books are usually on bookshelves._

Checked already.

_Then I don't know. What am I, your personal assistant?_

Well, that's how it often looks…

_Shut up, Pomona._

Just saying…

_Sure._

Ah ha! I used it to prop open my broken window!

_Here's an idea: fix the window!_

But that'd be too easy!

_-sigh- I don't want to know what kind of trouble you gave your mother with this type of behavior. _

Aberforth was much worse than me. 

_Why do I actually believe that?_

Because you know Aberforth?

_Oh, dear. Something's thrown the Idiots into overdrive…_

_No! I don't want to deal with one of their pranks tonight!_

_I don't think it's a prank that we need to be worrying about…_

_Why?_

_I don't know… just a feeling._

Well, you were correct. Minerva, call Alastor.

_Merlin's beard! What happened now?_

My. Potter and company have just seen Voldemort's symbol, about twice the distance of Hogsmeade away. 

_Calling Alastor._

There's nothing over in that direction, though!

Obviously, there's something, or there wouldn't be the symbol.

_Alastor's on his way._

Good. I have to be on my way as well. Have to go talk to the Minister now and all that fun. Owl me once we know what's going on.

_Will do. _

Wait… isn't there a secret passageway that leads to that area where the symbol is?

_Get a head count of your House, now!_

_Oh, heavens! I hope there's no one missing!_

**But who would know about that passageway?**

_Horace, don't start arguing. Go make sure everyone in your house is there!_

**Going! Going!**

* * *

Well… now that that terrifying incident is over…

_Is Alastor sure there was nothing there?_

_100%. There was only the symbol. _

Then Voldemort meant to throw us into a panic…

_But what good would that do him?_

Did Alastor check the secret passageway?

_No. I did. There wasn't anything there, either._

You should have let Alastor check, Minerva!

_Alastor was a little busy, Albus!_

Anyway… what's going to become of the tunnel now? Maybe he just couldn't find the entrance?

_No… he'd be able to find it. It's likely he was trying to figure out what was protecting it. _

I'll collapse the tunnel tomorrow, then. 

Ugh. Is anyone else exhausted now?

_Not so much exhausted as relieved. _

_No time to be exhausted! Papers galore! Yay!_

**This wouldn't be a problem if you didn't assign so many essays.**

_I've actually finished with all the essays, Horace. Now it's school paperwork, among a few other things. _

Yes, Minerva, I can feel you glaring from up in my office. So stop.

_What would be the fun in that?_

What would be fun is the halting of the conversations no one else understands. It gets quite frustrating after a while, you know.

_Yup. I know. _

…

You know.

_I know. _

Well, enough of this. I'm off to bed!

Sleep does sound pretty good, actually…

_Enjoy it, then._

I will, I will!

_Aaaand… one more sleepless night for Minerva spent doing paperwork for other people that are out doing what she can't anymore! Hoorah. _

YAY UPDATES!

Ok, I had an authors note last chapter but it decided it didn't feel like showing up... yeah...

Anywho! 400 e-galleons for your thoughts aboot the latest chapter!

* * *


	85. Chapter 85

_**EIGHTY FIVE**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Ah, I'd hate to be McGonagall right now.

**Paperwork? All night? I'd rather be throwing up my own liver. **

Ew…

_Well, if it's all she can do to help now…_

**Which I really don't think is fair…**

_I do. Well, maybe not fair, but reasonable. _

You see all discipline as reasonable.

_That's not true, James, and you know it._

I do?

_Indeed you do. _

Alrighty then. I suppose I do.

**Oh! Hey! Guess what tomorrow is!!!!!**

_Oh, God no!_

**Indeed, Remmy! It's our favorite time of the month!**

_Who are you including in 'our?'_

**All of us!**

_It's certainly not my favorite. _

Lighten up a bit, Moony! Enjoy the fun!

_Fun?_

Yeah! Fun! You know what that is… I think…

_I do know what it is. I just find that being stuck as a werewolf is not fun._

**Hey, if you had a werewolf best friend would that make things better?**

_I'm not going to bite you, Sirius!_

**One day, Moony. I'll tick you off enough.**

_And that's what James is for. _

Yup. Sorry, Padfoot. I don't like the idea of having to keep both of you in line. It's hard enough keeping Remmy in line with your help!

_Thanks for the confidence boost, James. _

No problemo!

**Sarcasm. It's a wonderful thing, is it not?**

Sarcasm? I love that stuff!

_Both of you are idiots._

So we've been told!

**By you, Evans, and all the staff, though they may not be aware of the fact that we're aware of the fact that they've been calling us idiots since our fourth year…**

_A fact that they will remain unaware of, right, Sirius?_

**Certainly! I know I annoy McGonagall a lot on purpose, but I see no reason to make her kill me. **

_Does this mean you're NOT suicidal?_

**Of course I'm not suicidal!**

_Oh, well all those times you tried to annoy Madame Pince and Pomfrey just gave me that impression. Sorry. _

**I didn't TRY to annoy them. I SUCCEEDED in annoying them.**

And have barely lived to tell the tale.

**Hey, the point is that I'm alive. And for the record, James, you've pushed them almost as much as I have.**

Key word, almost!

**Well… I might as well take 'almost' out of there.**

But you didn't. Ha. I win.

**Grrrrrr!**

Sirius, back away, and put the knife back in your trunk.

**Nah. I don't really feel like it.**

Remus! Cut his hair again!

**NO YOU DON'T!**

_And out the room he goes, down to the common room… and out into the hall?_

Getting as far away as possible. I'm sure we'll find him in a week or two.

_-smile- Has he forgotten the recently completed map?_

Ahhh… The dark side of Remus Lupin emerges once again! Bring out the Map, Wormy!

_Uh… Petey's fallen asleep… again. _

-sigh- Fine, then.

Bring out the Map, Moony!

_You get it!_

Oh my gosh! Fine!!!

Bring out the Map, Prongs!

Right away, Prongs!

Here you are, Prongs! The Marauders' Map!

Ah, very well done, Prongs! Let's get it open!

_Haha, James!_

Hey! When the Map is in sight I'm Prongs. Always.

_Whatever. Let's find Sirius and get him!_

Padfoot, Moony!

_Let's just find the kid on the run! Come on!_

* * *

Ah... the dark side of Remus Lupin. Love it.

Ok, I'm exhausted. I have no energy to write a big fancy note.

400 e-galleons for reviewers!


	86. Chapter 86

_**EIGHTY SIX**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

**JAMES! You ruined my awesome plan!**

_Sirius, shut up! If he hadn't - Do you know how much trouble you would have gotten into?_

**It'd be worth it! Snape'd be gone!**

I had to stop it, Sirius. I didn't think we were going to take it that far! I mean… bringing Snape down into the passageway?

**So what? Worst that would have happened would be Snape getting torn to pieces. **

_Exactly, Sirius!_

I couldn't do that to Remmy! He'd feel guilty the rest of his life… and he'd go into depression and the rest of that.

**Oh… point. Well, we wouldn't have told him, then!**

_I would notice the blood and guts all over the place, Sirius! And I can't BELIEVE you're still thinking you should have gone through with it!_

**It would have been AMAZING! Pure genius! And Snape was asking for it!**

_I don't think that's what he had in mind._

**What was he expecting? For us to tell him? That wouldn't be any fun. **

Oh no… just our luck. We've got our detentions with McGonagall.

**Dang it. **

_Ha! Who is 'we?' I didn't have any intentional part in this. _

'We' being me, Sirius, and Peter.

How long, James?

Until the end of the year!

**What? Come on! If we had gotten rid of Snape we'd have done everyone a favor! **

_You know what, Sirius? Maybe you do belong with the Blacks after all. _

**Say it again, Remus! I dare you!**

_Well, if you can think about killing someone and getting away with it and thinking no one will care…_

**That's it! You're being dropped off the Astronomy Tower!**

_You're only strengthening my point, Sirius!_

**Fine! Come here, Remus! I want to give you a hug for pointing this flaw in my character out!**

_Nice try. I'm not going to let you squeeze the breath out of me or smother me in your shoulder. _

**Boo you!**

Mum's going to be so mad at me…

Blame Sirius. It always works for me!

**Hey! Not cool, Prongs!**

Well I can't do it anymore, you know. You're coming home with me. That's usually when Mum starts chucking questions at me, and that's when I usually blame you. But with you there…

**BUAHAHAHA!!!! I'll be able to tell her the TRUTH about EVERY year!**

But you won't.

**Won't I?**

Sirius, I have the power to kick you out of my house.

**But you won't.**

I won't?

**You'd be sentencing me to death! Trixie's on the prowl, you know. **

_Bellatrix is always 'on the prowl' Sirius. I don't think she's actually targeting anyone, though._

**That's only because I'm at Hogwarts. But once I'm out… whew! I'm in trouble!**

And I invited you to stay at my house for the summer? Gah! I'm an idiot. Now Trixie's going to show up on my door step.

**Naw. She'll probably fly in through your window. It's more witch-like. Knocking is just bringing herself down to the Muggle level!**

_You're taking this a little too lightly, Sirius._

**I never take anything lightly! Do you know why that is?**

OOO!!! –waves hand in air - PICK ME! I KNOW!!!

**Prongs!**

Because your FIRST name is SIRIUS!

_Don't make me tie you both up._

**Stop being a downer, Remus. And yes, James! You're right! Sirius is always serious!**

YES!

I think Remus is right. I don't think you should be joking about this stuff. 

Ah, Pete! Where's your sense of fun!

I just don't think it's funny!

That's because you don't get it, Pete!

I do get it! Just… please stop joking about it so much?

Alright, since you asked nicely, we'll try.

Thank you!

_Good job, Pete!_

**Don't encourage him, Remus! He'll only get more like you!**

_And how could that hurt him? He wouldn't be in detention for the rest of the year if he were more like me!_

**If he were more like you he'd never have any fun! Duh!**

_I have plenty of fun, Sirius._

**You only think that. In actuality, you haven't. **

_I'm tired of arguing with you! I'm going to go finish my essay!_

**Is that FUN, Remus?**

_No, but I like knowing I'll be able to pass all my classes. _

**He's so…. **

Remus?

…**Yeah. There are no other words. **

* * *

Since people are going to wonder...

In my mind, James really did feel bad for what he did to Snape. But, honestly. Do you think he'd ever admit that in front of Sirius?

I feed off of reviews, people! 430 e-galleons will automatically be added to your e-account if you just click the pretty green button and write something.


	87. Chapter 87

_**EIGHTY-SEVEN – weeks later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

_I'm getting rather tired of detentions with Potter, Black, and Pettigrew!_

You're the one that gave them the rest of the year for punishment!

_Well, they could have killed another student, Pomona!_

Then their punishment is just and you just have to deal with it, don't you?

_Stop smirking at me. _

I'm at least two levels above you right now!

_I can sense your smirk. _

Fine. I'll stop.

_Smiling isn't much of an improvement!_

Good Lord! Stop knowing me so well!

**She's got eyes on you…**

_Not this again!_

**Look at how defensive she gets!**

_Horace, go take a nap!_

**So you can kill me then?**

_I've told you before that if I wanted to kill you I wouldn't need you asleep. _

**I'm watching you, McGonagall!**

_Good luck with that._

_A month and a half left! So close!_

Oh dear. Only a month and a half until all the students are gone?

Scared?

Actually, I am. Though not because of you all. 

Ah, of course. They're more at danger at home than at Hogwarts.

True. 

Either way, it'll be nice to get some peace and quiet!

_Such a thing doesn't ever exist at Hogwarts._

…It gets a bit quieter over the summer…

_Hardly. _

Well we don't have to deal with classes!

_But we do have to deal with you._

I don't appreciate this picking on Pomona business.

_Shame. We'll do it anyway!_

You're driving me to go cry in a corner.

_That'd be an interesting sight…_

What happened to picking on Horace?

_I don't get to take part in that! You and Minerva go back and forth with the insults too quickly._

**And I prefer 'Pick on Pomona' to 'Pick on Horace.'**

Who asked you?

**Well… no one. But seeing as I can see everything written, I took the liberty of commenting. **

Speak only when spoken to!

_You're one to say that!_

I thought I'd turned the attention off of me?

_Oh, no. You can't ever turn the attention off yourself. It's just not the way the earth works. _

The earth's stupid.

_Don't insult the planet we live on! It might get upset!_

You should be more concerned about my getting upset then the earth's getting upset, Filius!

_No, you I can take. The earth? That's a bit more difficult. You see, there are many powers it holds that we can't even begin to fathom! It's quite fascinating!_

He's reading the Muggle science books again.

_No I'm not…_

_Pah! Lies! You wrote rather hastily there, Filius!_

_Are you finished making your accusations?_

Oh no, I could keep making up more and more until the day I die!

_Please don't!_

Well, alright. Since you asked nicely.

* * *

_**GRYFFINDOR BOYS' DORM**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Oh, look at the chaos we cause!

**It makes me feel warm and fuzzy!**

_You both are idiots. _

Yes, we're aware of that, Remmy.

_Care to change that fact?_

Not in a million years!

**A million and one, maybe. **

So if you want to see that day, I'd recommend finding the Sorcerer's Stone.

_I'll get right on it. I'm sure it'll be plenty easy to find!_

That's the ticket!

Ticket? Are we going somewhere?

…You're going to bed, Pete.

HUZZAH!!!

**I wonder about that kid sometimes…**

Eh… he can't help the fact that his Mum and Dad let him grow to be like that. –sigh- Pettigrews! Do you see what your son has become? Oh, the shame!

_Leave him be, James._

**Relax, Remus. Hey! Pete!**

I though I was going to bed?

**Yeah, but first answer this question real quick. Then we'll leave you to sleep in peace. **

Are your parents proud of you?

…Sometimes… they think I can be quite thick… I really don't know why…

**Go to sleep, Wormtail.**

Righto!!

_-sigh-_

You lose, Moony!

_Yeah, yeah._

**You know… I would love to actually SEE****the professors poking fun at one another…**

_Don't get any ideas, Sirius!_

**What are you going to do, oh great prefect? Dock points?**

Oh, no!

**I know! Isn't the thought horrifying?**

Sirius, you aren't thinking what I'm thinking!

**Of course I'm thinking what you're thinking! Non biological twin telepathy, remember?**

Sirius, Remus is probably going to be… oh, I can't even say it! The shame is too great!

**What's Remus going to be, James? I must know!**

HEAD BOY!

**NOOOO!!! REMUS! DON'T SINK TO SUCH A LEVEL!**

_Shut up, the both of you! Snape's more likely to become Head Boy than me considering I hang around with you lot. _

Snape? Head Boy? I shudder at the thought.

**I still say we kill him.**

_Sirius…_

**Alright, I'll shut up about it. **

* * *

Yay updates!

Dramatic irony. I love it!

Anywho... you all can guess what I'm going to ask for. 400 e-galleons are just calling your name...


	88. Chapter 88

_**EIGHTY EIGHT – Last day!**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

WE'VE SURVIVED!!!!

_Heads up, I am NOT taking ANY detentions with Potter and Black next year_

HAHAAHAA! Funny, Minerva! You're not shoving them off on us.

_I just won't give them detentions. Problem solved! And if you push them on me, you'll be hypocritical. _

…You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?

_Yep._

Well, if I give detentions, I HAVE to push them off on someone else…

_You haven't ever given a detention as Headmaster. Why break the trend now?_

Well, there are exceptions for everything.

_Do, and you get grievously injured._

That's rather hard to believe. I think I could best you at a duel. 

_Who said it'd be a duel?_

Well, you usually do things by the rules now a days…

_Well, there are exceptions for everything._

Using my words against me, nice. 

_I thought so._

You know… if you don't give them detentions for rule breaking, you will be the one being hypocritical. 

_Really? How do you figure that?_

All these years of, "Well if the HEADMASTER would show a bit of DISCIPLINE then we probably wouldn't have this problem!" Is that, or is that not hypocritical?

I'd say it's rather hypocritical.

_Seconded!_

_I said I wouldn't give detention. I said nothing about docking large amounts of points in substitution. _

Pffft! Yeah right, you're going to do that! Gryffindor'd be so far into the negative by the end of the year they wouldn't ever recover!

_Pomona, hush! This is putting our houses in the lead!_

Ah, Filius! You have a point!

_I cannot take more detentions with them! I will certainly lose my mind!_

Oh, that happened long ago. You'll be fine.

_You'll be sorry when I finally crack completely. _

I have seen you crack completely. It was actually quite amusing.

_And then what happened the next morning? Didn't someone break into your dorm and write all over your face with ink that took a week to come off?_

That WAS you!!! I blamed Mafalda Hopkirk all those years! And it was YOU!

_I was quite astonished when you believed me. And don't worry, Mafalda knew it was me. However, she exchanged the blame for being introduced to Alastor… that didn't last long at all. But I held up my end of the deal…_

What else did you do and shove off on someone else?

_That you haven't found out about already? I think that might have been it…_

How'd you get Alastor to keep his mouth shut?

_Paid him off. He owed Charles Greene a bit of money. _

-shudder- That kid was a nightmare. What's he doing now?

_No one knows. _

_That's a bit suspicious…_

Indeed it is… but you never asked Charles Greene questions… lest you be left sobbing and bleeding in a deserted corridor.

_Speaking from personal experience, are we?_

Actually, no. Speaking from the experience of a boy a year below me… can't remember his name…

_He probably changed it._

I wouldn't doubt it…

**END OF THE YEAR CELEBRATION IN THE STAFFROOM!!!!!**

_Good Lord, Horace! A bit excited, are we?_

**YES!!!**

_I bet he crashes in twenty minutes._

Ten.

_Done._

* * *

_**On the train**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

Ah, that hit the spot. Exactly what one needs before returning home for the summer!

**What do you think Slughorn meant by 'end of the year celebration'?**

_Probably loads of drinking and passing out on his part. _

Why only his? What's to say the other teachers won't celebrate a bit, eh?

_A drink or two, maybe, but I sincerely doubt any of them will get anywhere near as drunk as Slughorn already is._

**Oh wow… interesting scenes playing in my head…**

_Please refrain from sharing._

**I'll tell you later at home, James!**

Who said I want to hear?

**You do. It's funny.**

Alrighty then.

_You're adjusting rather quickly to living at the Potters', Sirius, and you're not even there yet!_

**I've been gearing myself up for it! Oh, if I ever see Grimmauld Place again it'll be far too soon!**

Ah, Mum and Dad are excited. "I do hope he'll feel right at home, that poor boy!"

**Oh, is that what your mum thinks? I'm a poor boy?**

I agree. You're anything but poor.

**As of right now… I am likely completely broke. Whoah… I'm broke…**

_And reality sets in… such a cruel thing, isn't it?_

**Oh my gosh… James! I'm BROKE!! I have no money!!**

Ah, relax, you mangy mutt. What would you need it for anyway?

**Uh… buying stuff at joke shops?**

Oh… you have a point…

_What about food and other necessities?_

**To quote dear Mrs. Potter, "No, Sirius! Your money is not needed here! Put it away!"**

_You'll come back as spoiled as James!_

I'm not spoiled!

_Yeah, you are!_

You're right, I am! HA!

**Anyway… what are we going to do next year? What with dear Remus being… oh, I can't even say it!**

_I've told you a dozen times! Chances of me being Head Boy are lower than Gryffindor winning the House Cup next year!_

**That reminds me… we do only have one more year of Hogwarts…**

Brilliant, Sirius! Yes, seven minus six is one!

**You know, James… that means you only have one year to get Evans to fall for you.**

…Oh, dear… I need at least three more!

_James, she hates you. You need a decade more._

You know, there was one time Marion Matter hated me.

_I would prefer a girl hating me to a girl stalking my every move. _

Hey, I have my point.

**I don't see why you don't just go on and go out with Marion. I mean, she's pretty good looking, if I say so myself. **

Then you take her to Hogsmeade!

**I'm not the one she's got pictures of under her pillow. **

_Agreed. I think her heart's set on you, James._

I don't think she's THAT pretty…

**That's because every girl looks disastrous compared to dear Lily Evans, the one girl you can't have. Oh, dear. Life's so cruel.**

You know what? I bet I can get Lily Evans to go out with me within three months of being back at school!

_James, sit down. People are looking at us funny._

**They always do that. And I'll take you on that bet, Prongs! Fifty galleons!**

_You're broke, Sirius!_

**He's the one that's going to owe me, stupid.**

I'll take that bet! Fifty galleons. Shall we shake on it?

_One of you is going to be a very unhappy person at the end of three months next school year. _

It'll be Padfoot.

**It'll be Prongs.**

_I don't care who it is. I just want to see the look on their face!_

_

* * *

_

Yay for seventh year, coming next update! Get excited, it'll be fun!

Psshhh.... to celebrate all the characters making it through another year with some shred of sanity... maybe... I'll give a gift of 600 e-galleons to anyone who reviews! Come on, you type out two sentances, hit send, and then BAM! 600 e-galleons automatically make their way to your e-gringotts account! Good deal, right? RIGHT?! :D


	89. SEVENTH YEAR

_**EIGHTY NINE – Seventh Year **_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

**Alright, come on, Remus! Let's see it!**

_The notebook's in the bottom of my trunk, you idiot! Have you not remembered this information that I've told you hundreds of times since third year?_

**Not the notebook! That can wait a few minutes.**

_Who are you and what have you done to Sirius Black?_

**Sirius is on temporary leave and has been replaced with a man itching to get his hands on the Head Boy badge… or did you ship it off to McGonagall again?**

_What if I were to tell you that I don't have a Head Boy badge to show you, Sirius?_

**I'd say you were lying.**

_I'm not. _

**McGonagall's got it. **

**You're being rather quiet, James.**

I was up a good part of the night trying to figure out how to win that bet we made…

**Oh, about Evans? Why don't you just chuck up the fifty galleons now?**

Because you'll be chucking them up, not me!

_Anyway! I've taken the liberty of getting the notebook for you, Sirius, before you tore my trunk apart. _

**Fantastic! I suppose we'll go ahead and have a look at it… I'll get my hands on that badge later. **

* * *

_**The Teachers' Notebook**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

I still think you've made a horrible, horrible error, Dumbledore.

I don't think so.

_Even I say that this is one of the dumbest things you've done, and I've seen you do a lot of dumb things._

Oh, it's not so bad.

_You entrusted the Head Boy badge to the worst candidate possible!_

Ah, you're forgetting Black.

_Oh, yes, I suppose he would be worse. _

_Oho! I know why you did it!_

Pray tell, why did I do what?

_I would never have thought you to stoop to such a level!_

Alright, out with it!

Yes, please. I'm extraordinarily confused. 

_Think about it for a moment. Who is Head Girl?_

Lily Evans, of course!

_Exactly!_

Oh… OH!!!

_You made James Potter Head Boy so Lily Evans would have to spend time with him!_

* * *

_**On the train**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! JAMES! SAY IT ISN'T SO!!!!!**

_You, James, Head Boy? The school will fall to pieces before the feast is over!_

**I SLEPT IN YOUR BLOODY ROOM THE ENTIRE SUMMER AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT YOU'D BEEN SO DISGRACED? POTTER, HOW ARE WE FRIENDS?!?! WHY DO I CLAIM TO KNOW YOU?**

Why didn't you tell us, James? We could probably get away with anything now!

**I'VE BEEN CONTAMINATED WITH HEAD BOY GERMS!! I NEED A SHOWER!!!!**

I didn –

**SAME ROOM, POTTER!!! SAME ROOM! ALL SUMMER! **

Sirius, -

**WE'RE NOT ON FIRST NAME TERMS!**

Would you quit tugging the paper away from me?

I didn't tell you because I knew this is how you'd react! I didn't WANT to be Head Boy! I thought for sure it'd be Remus or some Ravenclaw!

**BET'S OFF!!!**

Wait! WHAT? NO! NOT OFF!

**You've got Dumbledore on your side! It's totally not fair!**

Oh… hey! I have got Dumbledore on my side!

**Exactly! No bet!**

You shook on it, Sirius.

**-long stream of curses-**

_**-door opens-**_

* * *

"Potter," said an extremely irritable voice, "you're supposed to be in the Prefect carriage. So are you, Remus!"

"I'm off train duty this year, Lily," Remus said evenly. "My letter said so."

Lily huffed. "Either way," she began speaking through gritted teeth, "Potter, you were supposed to go straight to the Prefect compartment."

"Oh… well, I was rather hoping this had all been a bad dream," James said slowly.

"I wish it was!" Lily snapped. She turned on her heel and left.

"Don't forget to trip and hit your head, Potter!" Sirius teased as James followed Lily out.

"Honestly, James as Head Boy? Dumbeldore's gone mad!" Remus exclaimed.

"I'd always thought Dumbledore was a bit daft," said a small boy coming into the compartment.

"Dennis!" Sirius said warmly, patting the boy on the head. "Have you heard the news?"

"Yeah, I think the whole train heard you screaming, Sirius!" Dennis said with a smile. "Is it really true? Or are you pulling my leg?"

"Why would I lie about such a horrifying thing?" Sirius demanded.

"Well," Dennis said, "there's one upside. Lily Evans is Head Girl. They'll have to work together! Maybe she'll come around!"

"Dumbledore," Sirius growled.

* * *

Oh, dear. Teenage drama!

I need your beautiful reviews! I shall give you 400 e-galleons for one! :D


	90. Chapter 90

_**NINTEY**_

James walked into the Entrance Hall with Remus. Sirius and Peter had opted to leave James behind.

"I didn't ask for it!" James said sourly as he reluctantly pinned his Head Boy badge onto his robes.

"Ah, Sirius is probably more upset over the fact that you didn't tell him than the fact that you were actually made Head Boy," Remus said. He took out his wand and flicked it. James stopped fumbling with his badge that had been magically pinned to his robes.

"Thanks," he muttered.

"No problem! Look, if all else fails, you just show Padfoot that you're still Prongs."

James stopped dead in his tracks. "No! That can't be Remus Lupin _encouraging_ me!"

"Only if things get _really_ desperate!" Remus chuckled as he looked at his friend's shocked face.

"Hey! Congratulations, Head Boy!" a voice said mockingly.

James turned around to see Dennis Stringfellow smiling up at him.

"Yeah, thanks, kid. Can you find your way to the Great Hall or do you need a guide?"

"Right away, Mr. Head Boy!" Dennis saluted and joined the mass of people flooding the hall lit by hundreds of floating candles.

"If I have to deal with that all year…" James said under his breath.

"Now you know how it feels!" Remus slapped his friend on the shoulder. "Relax! Dennis is only having a bit of fun! So are Sirius and Peter! They're only putting on a show. You'll see!"

"I can't decide whether I want to hit or hug you, Remus!"

"Well don't hit me! I'm the only friend you've got for a couple of days!"

"Thanks for the reminder!"

"Potter!"

James groaned at the sound of Professor McGonagall's voice. None the less, he turned to see her striding across the hall toward him.

"Lupin, run along," McGonagall commanded.

Remus waved to his friend and walked into the Great Hall.

"With me, Potter," the teacher said shortly. She turned around and began the journey to her office, James walking miserably behind her. She flung open her office door to reveal Lily Evans already seated across the desk. "Sit!"

James fell into the seat next to Lily, who looked just as displeased as he did.

"I know you two haven't gotten along well in the past," Professor McGonagall said as she took her own seat, "but seeing as you're Head Boy and Girl you'd better get used to the idea of cooperating."

"Why is Potter even Head Boy?" Lily burst. "He's caused more trouble than anyone in living memory!"

"In your memory, Miss Evans," McGonagall corrected.

James would have smiled if he weren't in such a foul mood. He could think of a group of pranksters that had managed to break five more rules than he and Sirius had.

"As for why he was chosen, Potter's been known to be rather responsible when he's put up to it."

"But – "

"Miss Evans, I did not make this decision and there's nothing I can do to reverse it!" McGonagall said crisply.

Lily leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms.

"Now," McGonagall began, once again speaking with her normal voice, "I've pulled you both aside to talk to you about your new duties."

"Can I just shove mine off on Remus?" James asked with a twinge of hope. That hope was crushed like a bug with a glare from McGonagall.

"You two will be doing night patrols. I know that you, Potter, are accustomed to night time strolls. Do not confuse the two."

"Sure thing, Professor!" James said into his robes as he slid down in his seat.

"Heaven's sake!" McGonagall snarled. "All four of you can't talk properly! Sit up and speak out!"

James gripped the arms of his chair and hoisted himself into an upright position.

Professor McGonagall continued as if nothing had happened. "I trust you to keep him in order, Evans."

"The Head Boy should be able to keep himself in line!" Lily snapped.

Professor McGonagall took a deep breath before carrying on. "You'll only have to do night patrols twice a week. Every Tuesday and Thursday from nine to midnight."

"Twice a week for three hours? Professor, I'll kill him!"

"Poor repayment for someone who's saved your skin twice," James muttered.

"My skin did not need saving that first time, and you didn't even save my skin at all last year! It's not like he was going to come out of the fire!"

"Enough!" McGonagall said forcefully. James and Lily glared at each other for a moment longer before returning their attention to their professor.

"Night patrols, twice a week! That's how it's always been and it is _not_ about to change! You will cooperate and both of you will stay in line and both of you will return to your common room _unharmed_! Am I understood?"

"Yes, Professor!" James and Lily chorused.

"…Where's your Quidditch Captain Badge, Potter?" McGonagall raised an eyebrow, definitely distracted.

"Sirius nicked it while I was hiding this monstrosity," James said with an air of disgust, pointing at his Head Boy badge.

Professor McGonagall took off her glasses, put her elbows on her desk, and her face in her hands. This would be, quite possibly, the longest year she'd taught yet.

Lily glared at James, who merely shrugged.

After another minute, Professor McGonagall put her glasses back on. "In addition to patrol, you'll have to keep an eye out during Hogsmeade visits - "

"Oh, hey!" James suddenly brightened and sat up straighter. "That means you have to go with me, Evans!"

Lily scoffed and wrinkled her nose. "When hell freezes, Potter! We have to keep an eye out. That doesn't mean we have to do it together!"

"We'll wear our badges so people can't plainly see it's not a date."

"Don't think I didn't catch that double negative, Potter!"

"I'll stay out of Zonko's," James offered.

"Pah!" Lily exclaimed. "Zonko's or no Zonko's, you couldn't stay out of detention for a week!"

James suddenly grinned from ear to ear, making Lily very nervous. "Want to make a bet, Evans?"

"No!" Lily said firmly, turning her attention back to Professor McGonagall, who had decided to simply wait the argument out.

"I bet," James said mischievously, "that I can stay out of detention for a whole _month_… if you'll go to Hogsmeade with me."

"No!"

"You're scared I'd win!"

Lily turned her head slowly to face James. "Fine," she said through tightly gritted teeth. "You get through an entire month without getting chucked into detention, and I'll…" she seemed unable to finish her thought.

"And you'll go to Hogsmeade with me," James said, his face threatening to split in two. He held out his hand. Lily extended her own hand and shook James'.

"Can I go, Professor?" she asked irritably.

"Yes," Professor McGonagall sighed. Something about the way she was acting seemed forced. "I suppose it'll be easier to talk to each of you separately."

Lily couldn't get out of the room fast enough.

James looked at his professor. Her lips seemed to want to twitch upward. His smile began to fall. "You're not going to make this easy, are you, Professor?"

"No," McGonagall admitted. The smile she'd been attempting to keep at bay burst forward.

James sighed heavily and stood up. "I'm doing it!" he said determinedly. "I will make it an entire month!"

"Sure you will, Potter!"

James nodded and left the room. He would have sworn he heard Professor McGonagall burst out in laughter behind him, but she wouldn't ever do such a thing. …Would she?

* * *

I know you all are thinking, "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG???? I'VE BEEN WAITING!!!!" Yes, I know. I'm sorry. I have legitimate excuses!

Excuse one:

School is starting back up again, draining me of all my energy. There may also be a problem involving the fact that I didn't actually do any of my summer work over the summer and am now hurrying to do it before I have to turn it in... slight chance.

Excuse two:

The computer that has all my documents on it decided it wasn't throwing big enough fits already and decided to get a big virus. I do not know how to fix it. I'm honestly quite surprised I even managed to get this chapter up! This is a very big problem. Until this virus is fixed, updates are going to slow down and become rather irregular. But I really don't want that to happen... Gosh... where's that geek that hack - _helped_ my friend with their computer problems last week?

So there you have it. Moving on!

I love reviews! A lot! Want to give me one? I'll give you 450 e-galleons in return! :)


	91. Chapter 91

_**NINETY-ONE**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn

* * *

**

Will you tell me what you were choking over all during the feast now or what?

_I wasn't CHOKING…_

Well what do you call getting food stuck in your throat, then?

Don't answer that. Answer the first question.

Please do. I'm rather interested. What could have happened to force the great Minerva McGonagall to keep herself from breaking out into laughter every five minutes?

_Oh, hold on, I'm laughing again._

Good God, woman! Control yourself or you'll suffocate!

_Potter and Evans have a bet going – _

…

Don't make me come down to your office, Minerva!

_Once you hear you won't be able to stop, either!_

Would you use the time you're not laughing to explain what you're laughing about?

_Alright! Alright! _

_Potter and Evans have a bet going that he can stay out of detention for a whole month and if he does, she'll go to Hogsmeade with him!_

AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!

_I told you!_

Oh goodness! I'm crying and my stomach hurts already!

_I would have loved to witness that scene!_

He's not going to make it through a month!

_Of course he isn't!_

Because we'll me tempting him every step of the way!

_Brilliant!_

_Oh… so cruel… _

Shut up, you were thinking the same thing!

_I was! I didn't say it wasn't brilliant, did I?_

I'll admit I'm a bit disappointed. Six years and this is what he comes up with?

**I agree, Albus. I mean, really. He's got it in him to do better.**

_You're just upset, Albus, because your plot to force them to take 'romantic walks' around the castle by night didn't do anything!_

Ah! Correction! Hasn't done anything. They haven't had to patrol yet, have they?

_Wake up, man! Evans is only going to get less cooperative as the month wanes on. _

Until Potter gets detention.

_True. Then the game's over._

_And you know, Albus, I have to wonder what Mr. and Mrs. Evans and Mr. and Mrs. Potter would have to say about your scheming._

Scheming is such an ugly word…

_But it's exactly what you're doing!_

So?

And the Evans and the Potters won't ever have to know. No one will have to.

_That's what you think._

Minerva, have you ever thought about what you'd do if you lost your job?

_Live happily ever after?_

Ha ha. 

_I suppose there would be days I would miss it, but on the whole, I think I'd rather enjoy doing nothing all day._

You don't get paid enough to retire and do nothing all day.

_Years and years of hardly having to pay for anything really adds up, Albus. I could live quite comfortably in McGonagall Manor with what I've got saved up. _

That's what you think. 

_What's that supposed to mean, eh?_

Nothing!

_Watch it._

You watch it!

You know, Potter's got quite a fight in front of him. Us and his friends against him for a whole four weeks…

_I bet he doesn't make it a week. _

I bet three. Things will only get harder as time goes on.

_I'll bet mid ground. Two weeks. Anyone else in?_

I refuse to take part in this foolishness. 

_I'm not even going to comment on that. _

_Alright, bets are in. _

Hold on, just a moment! What are we betting?

_Five get-out-of-detention free cards. The losers have to take the detentions the winner doesn't want. _

And what if you all lose?

One of us will win. There's no way Potter will hold out for an entire month!

* * *

_**Boys' Dorm**_

"So Potter thinks he can get through a month without getting a detention, does he?" Sirius said thoughtfully. "And the whole staff is against him, as well… excluding Dumbledore…"

"As well?" Remus said from behind his book.

"Well of course I'm not going to help him!"

"Oh, come on, Sirius! Give him a break!"

"Absolutely not! Young Prongs must learn, and you learn through punishment!" Sirius punched his fist into his palm as he spoke.

"You're living proof that's not true," Remus argued.

"Detentions can hardly be considered punishment!" Sirius snapped. "Having one's soul crushed, on the other hand… oh, one learns very quickly."

"Feeling a little Black-hearted, are we?"

Sirius lunged at his friend and knocked him to the ground. Remus pulled him off easily and magically bound him to a chair. "You learn through punishment, young Padfoot!"

Sirius began protesting, but Remus twitched his wand and Sirius found himself unable to speak.

Remus only let Sirius go when James came into the room half an hour later, looking elated and exhausted at the same time.

"Guess what!"

Remus held up the notebook they'd stolen and duplicated from Professor McGonagall so many years ago. "We already know," he informed. "James," he said, slapping his knees and standing up, "you're screwed."

He threw the notebook onto James' bed before drawing the curtains around his own.

James felt someone breathing on his neck. He turned around to find Sirius' face an inch away from his own, his lips twitched into a crazed smile. "You'll soon find out what happens to people who don't tell me they were made Head Boy!" Sirius wheezed.

James took a few steps back. "Padfoot… why don't we just go to bed, alright?

Sirius chuckled. "Don't let your thoughts run away from you, Potter!"

"I don't think that's the right phrase…"

"It doesn't matter!" Sirius drew the curtains around his bed, still smiling like a madman.

James breathed deeply. Everyone thought he wouldn't make it. He was going to prove them all wrong. He was going to take Lily Evans to Hogsmesade!

* * *

**Author's Note**

Oh, dear. Who knew the Hogwarts staff could be quite so cruel? I suppose everyone does have a darkside after all!

Oh! Hey! I got my computer fixed! HUZZAH!

I'll buy reviews for 500 e-galleons! That's right, I'll give you 500 e-galleons to add to your e-gringotts account if you simply type out a few sentences. Easy as that! Come on, I know there are a lot of you reading this...


	92. Chapter 92

_**NINETY-TWO**_

Two weeks had gone by, and James Potter had somehow managed to stay out of detention. In spite of that, James was miserable. It seemed as if everyone was pitted against him. Sirius, Peter, and even Remus were constantly tempting him.

"Midnight snack, Prongs?"

"We should go put some dung bombs in Filch's office! Don't you think, Prongs?"

"Five galleons says I can run up, touch McGonagall's desk, and sit back down before she turns around from the board!"

James mindlessly doodled on his parchment on which he was supposed to be taking notes.

"James!" Sirius hissed. "Did you hear me? Come on, five galleons!"

James responded by slamming his head down onto his desk. He so wanted to. It'd be so funny…

"Deduction of five points from Gryffindor!" McGonagall snapped, turning around briefly to see who'd caused the disruption.

James frowned. It wasn't just his friends making his life hell. It was the teachers! They'd taken to doing little things that tempted him enough to rival Sirius' offers. They'd made a point of leaving their classrooms for periods of time long enough to set up a prank. They'd left things out on their desks. They'd left their offices unlocked overnight, or so Sirius had said.

But the thing that was driving James furthest up the wall was the teachers' new way of taking points. Two weeks ago, they'd been saying "x amount of points from house y!" but that just wasn't cutting it anymore. "Deduction of x amount of points from house y!" started off sounding very much like "detention!" Every time "deduction" was said, James had a small heart attack.

Lily Evans was just as upset with the teachers' new way of saying things as James was, though for different reasons. Whenever the teachers' said "deduction" she had a surge of hope, and then it was crushed as she processed the word. She really didn't want to go to Hogsmeade with James. Why were the teachers' being so annoying?!

Sirius couldn't care less about the new way the teachers were talking. As long as James was being driven crazy, he was happy.

The staff would swear that they hadn't realized they were doing anything differently. Not in front of students or other people, anyway. When speaking to each other, they couldn't stop laughing!

"Did you see Potter's face?"

"I left my office door _wide open_ last night and there was nothing done to it!"

"I didn't think he'd hold up this long!"

Professor McGonagall set her seventh years to work and went over to her desk. She opened her drawer and pulled out a beaten up notebook.

* * *

_**Notebook**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn

* * *

**

Who's got Potter?

_I do!_

Ahh, and how's he holding up?

_He looks like a zombie._

_Oh dear. Perhaps we should check for a pulse?_

And the cruelty of the Hogwarts staff brings itself forward once more.

_Hey, you hired us._

That was before I knew you were sadists. 

That's unfair. Sadist isn't the right word.

Then what is?

…I don't know. But not sadist.

Why are you even writing in your notebook? Don't you have class?

Study day for the sixth years.

Teach them something! That's what I pay you to do!

I've taught them loads of stuff! They need a day to process it.

Sure they do.

Anyway! Filius, Minerva, guess what!

_Oh dear…_

Correct! I'm the only one still in the running for the bet! Ahh… five detention free nights…

**I still think Potter might pull through.**

_Well you're a delusional drunk, aren't you?_

**I am not!**

_James Potter will not make it through another two weeks._

**Fifteen galleons says he will!**

_I'll take that bet!_

I disapprove of gambling.

_Too bad. We're adults… or I am, at least. _

**I don't appreciate that.**

_I repeat: too bad. _

**I am going to laugh so hard when you hand over fifteen galleons.**

_I won't be handing over any galleons. Do you even have fifteen galleons to spare?_

**I don't need any to spare.**

_If this bet's going to work you can't aid Potter at all._

**Then you can't hinder him at all.**

_I don't give detentions for no reason, Horace. You, on the other hand, have a long record of letting him get away with detention-worthy things. _

**He's been behaving!**

_No matter how this plays out, I'm very impressed he's lasted this long._

He won't last much longer!

Why are you all pitted against him? Don't you WANT him to win?

If he wins Evans will kill him.

Merlin's beard, you're all hopeless. 

**I think they'll turn out to be a great couple!**

As said, you're a delusional drunk.

**I'm completely sober, thank you very much!**

_Well there's a first in a long time…_

**I'm tired of this. I'm off to think of what I'll do with the winnings I'll collect in two weeks.**

_I'll throw myself in front of the Avada Kedavra before I pay Horace fifteen galleons. Potter's going to mess up._

Please refrain from fulfilling your threat. I really don't want to have to find another Transfiguration teacher and someone who can handle paperwork so well.

_The paperwork is what's pushed me this close to the brink! Good Lord! Essays, Hogwarts papers, and then the rest!_

And what is 'the rest'?

_Whatever else Albus comes up with to drive me crazy with! Though I don't see a point in me doing any of it! Alastor just burns it twenty minutes after I finish, anyway!_

Take that up with him!

_You're the one that can control him!_

Hardly. 

_Oh… one of these days!_

What, my dear?

_You're headed for trouble, Albus._

I'm already in it. 

_Not near as far as you will be once I snap._

I think you've got enough self control in you to restrain yourself from 'snapping'.

I think that's a topic to be debated.

_Agreed. _

Oh, hey! I've got Potter now! Yay!

_I do believe that's the first time anyone's been excited to have him in their class…_

Oh, hush! This is my chance to get vengeance for six full years of driving me up the wall! Of course I'm going to take advantage of it!

_And once the month is over, you'll sincerely regret it._

You're hardly being better than I am. Besides that, if Potter wants a second date, I bet Evans will keep him under her thumb. …That's not a bet. I know she will.

_-gasp- Maybe she'll get him completely trained!_

… _Is that even possible?_

I really hope it is.

* * *

**Author's Note**

I UPDATED!!!! YESSSSSSS!!!!

Ok, more serious note. I need to vent. Ladies, you are SUPPOSED to get thicker around the waist! STOP SAYING YOU'RE FAT BECAUSE YOU AREN'T! OMG!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!

Sorry, it's just ticking me off. I'm getting a lot of that crap from my friends lately. But seriosuly. It's healthy not to be a stick. So shut up. You're the way you're supposed to be!

ANYWAY!!!!! I would absolutely love a review from each and every one of you! I'll trade you 450 e-galleons for one! :)


	93. Chapter 93

_**NINETY-THREE **_

James Potter woke up, looked over at the calendar on the wall, and started laughing. Today was Hogsmeade, and he'd held up his end of the deal.

He couldn't stop laughing as he changed, showered, or brushed his teeth. (He may have accidentally snorted some toothpaste.) Sirius, Remus, and Peter only had to look at the calendar to figure it out. James had charmed the square with the date of the Hogsmeade visit to turn obnoxiously bright colors so that it would serve as a constant reminder. Now letters were floating off the paper a few inches and disintegrating over and over again. "H – O – G – S – M – E – A – D – E!"

"Hey, Potter!" Sirius called as James started tearing the room apart, looking for his shoes. "You put your robes on backwards. Way to look smooth."

James looked down at himself. Sirius was right. He quickly pulled the robes off, turned them around, and put them back on. "It's Hogsmeade, Padfoot! I made it a month!"

"Yes, yes. You made it through the month," Sirius sighed.

James nearly put his shoes on the wrong feet, then raced down to the common room.

"He knows it's only 7:45, right?" Remus asked.

"Probably not," Sirius answered as he began getting ready himself.

"And he knows that Lily's going to take as long as possible to get ready, right?"

"Sincerely doubt it. Kid's out of his mind. Love-sick deer."

A sly grin spread over Remus' face. "You didn't want James to make it a month!"

"Everyone was pitted against him, Moony! _You_ were pitted against him."

"You don't _want_ James to start going out with Lily!"

"Of course I want him to! James has been waiting a full six years for this."

"You think you're losing your buddy because you know he'll do whatever Lily tells him to if it means keeping her!" Remus concluded.

"Remus, remember the bet Prongs and I made?

"Oh…" Remus said. His smile returned, full force. "You're in such trouble when James remembers!"

"If he remembers… let's say he'll forget pretty quickly!" Sirius said with an evil grin.

"Feeling Black-hearted again, are we?"

Remus slammed the door shut behind him as Sirius charged. Sirius hit the door with force, having been unable to stop before realizing what was going on. "Stupid werewolf."

* * *

Minerva McGonagall walked into _The Three Broomsticks_ and made her way over to her colleagues.

"Merlin's beard, Minerva!" Filius exclaimed. "You look like a zombie! Sleep much?"

"Not last night," Minerva said sourly.

"So what does that mean? You got two hours' sleep instead of four?" Pomona asked teasingly.

"Sounds about right."

"Minerva," said Horace smugly, "you owe me fifteen galleons!"

"Pardon?"

"You owe me fifteen galleons," Horace repeated a little bit slower.

"How do you figure –"

In answer to Minerva's unfinished question, James Potter strolled into the bar, head held high, and at his side, looking rather unhappy, was Lily Evans.

Minerva swore under her breath and pulled out her money purse. She fished out fifteen galleons and grudgingly put them into her colleague's pudgy, waiting hand. Horace smirked and counted the coins to make sure he hadn't been cheated.

"He actually did it," Pomona breathed.

Flitwick raised his glass. "Here's to hoping she trains him!"

* * *

"What do you want, Lily?" James asked as he filtered through his pockets for his money.

"I'll pay for my drink myself, Potter!" Lily huffed, going through her own pockets.

"No, Lily, you won't!" James firmly objected. He whipped out his money and quickly ordered two butterbeers. Madam Rosmerta handed him the order a moment later.

Lily felt extremely self conscious, as if everyone were watching her. She hated it. Her feeling of embarrassment increased tenfold when she noticed that the teachers were in the bar, talking amongst themselves. If Lily didn't know better, she'd have sworn she saw Professor McGonagall handing Professor Slughorn money.

"Where do you want to sit, Lily?" James asked, a bottle of butterbeer in either hand.

"How many times are you going to say 'Lily'?" Lily asked irritably as she sat down at a secluded table, hoping not too many people would be able to see her in her current predicament.

"Lily's a pretty name," James said with a shrug as he sat across her and handed her a drink.

Lily rolled her eyes and took a sip of her butterbeer.

"So…" James said, breaking the silence that had settled. "How's life?"

"Currently?" Lily said sourly.

"Well, you can tell me about yours or I can tell you about mine." James raised an eyebrow.

Lily huffed. "The last month's been hell. That pretty much sums it up."

"Tell me about it," James muttered. "Everyone's been trying to get me to get myself into detention. It's been really hard. I mean, seriously. Who would have thought the teachers would have started messing around with us like that? McGonagall," he said the last word as if it were some kind of curse.

"What'd she have to do with anything?"

"She's the one that was there when we made the bet. She's the one that told the rest of the staff. Probably laughing her head off the entire time." James took a swig of his drink.

"McGonagall?" Lily scoffed. "Yeah right."

"I know her a lot better than you do, Lily. Come up with another explanation!"

"What, Black was quite about it when you told him?" Lily said accusingly.

"Sirius, Remus, and Peter found out about the bet from the staff, oddly enough."

"How could the staff possibly know before your best mate?"

James only smiled. "Maybe, one day, I'll tell you."

Lily rolled her eyes.

"So you really didn't think I'd make it a month, did you?"

"No, I didn't," Lily admitted. "I was thoroughly hoping you'd screw up and I'd be able to be with Mary in Honeydukes rather than here with you."

"That hurts, Lily!"

"Good," Lily mumbled.

"Why don't you like me?" James asked bluntly.

Lily looked James right in the eye. "You really have to ask, Potter? You're arrogant, you don't have respect for anyone and you only care about yourself."

"You know that's not true," James countered. After a moment he reconsidered. "Ok, so maybe I do get a _bit_ arrogant. But I do have respect and care for other people."

"Pfft."

"Come on, I want to figure this out. Ask me anything you want. There's only a handful of questions I won't answer. But I won't lie about them, either." James put his arms behind his head and leaned back, completely relaxed.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. "Fine. Why have you always been so mean to Snape? And don't say he started it, because I remember the train ride first year! You started it."

James sighed. "He's a Slytherin, and you always talked to him. It pains me to admit, but I was jealous." Lily was taken aback by the bare honesty. "See? I told you I wouldn't lie! Alright, my turn!" James plowed on before Lily could object, "Why do you keep such close tabs on me during patrols? You don't ever let me go off by myself to check something out."

"I don't trust you!"

"Yes you do."

Lily frowned. "No, I don't!"

"Remember the clock tower in fifth year?"

"Yes…" Lily said slowly.

"You let me lead you across the school with your eyes closed – "

"Because you swore on Black's life!"

"A threat you knew I wouldn't actually carry out. And after you let me lead you around blindfolded for twenty minutes, you listened to the instructions I gave you to get through the tower." James took another drink.

Lily opened and closed her mouth a few times.

"And then last year with Voldemort and the fire. You stood next to me, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. What's to say we wouldn't have gone through the fire ourselves, brought you with us?"

James' eyes suddenly widened and he almost choked. "You ran down to McGonagall's because you knew we were there!"

"No, I didn't!" Lily actually smiled at the ridiculousness of it.

"Then why'd you run?"

"I thought McGonagall had patrol."

"So what if she did? You could have just caught her the next day."

"Did you have anymore points to make, Potter? Or is this conversation going to continue running in circles?"

"It's not running in circles, but fine. Why'd you step up next to us?"

"I wasn't going to have him think I'm a coward."

"He knows it," James said immediately. "You're a Gryffindor! We aren't cowards.

"So you stepped up and let him get a good look of your face just so he wouldn't think you were a coward?"

"I stepped up to prove myself. I do have pride, though maybe not as much as you," Lily sneered.

James only smiled. She hadn't said anything about the other times listed.

"My turn!" Lily exclaimed. "Why have you been stalking me since first year?"

"Stalking's an ugly word," James said disapprovingly. "If your question rephrased is, 'Why do you like me?' then the answer is because you're smart, pretty, and have a mind of your own. We both know I could have easily gone out with anyone I wanted, but they wouldn't make it any fun. It wouldn't be a challenge."

Lily chuckled disbelievingly. "You chose me because I'm a challenge. Nice."

"Notice how I listed that as the last reason," James pointed out.

"Yet it's the one you elaborated on most."

James shrugged. "I could elaborate on the others, if you'd like."

"Don't."

"Why'd you agree to the bet?"

"Because I thought you'd get chucked into detention straight away."

"But there was a chance I'd hold out!"

"The odds were extremely low."

"And I beat them!" James beamed. "Seriously, why'd you agree?"

"I'm only going to keep giving you the same answer!"

"Fine," James huffed. He went to take another drink and discovered his bottle was empty. "Another round? Or do you want to go somewhere else?"

"Somewhere else!" Lily said immediately, looking forward to being away from the crowd.

"Alright," James said, standing up. "You can choose this time."

On the way out, James looked at the teachers' table and noticed McGonagall watching him. He smiled smugly and gave her a thumbs up before following Lily out of the building. James missed McGonagall taking off her glasses and rubbing a hand over her face.

* * *

**Author's Note**

Yes, James held out.

"OMG! That SO wouldn't have happened! James had to have actually WON her over!"

CHILL!!!!!!! You have your ideas, I have mine. I'm not a romance writer. I take things and make them humorous. Besides that, I really don;t like really gooey relationships where the couple just hangs on each other all the time. Those things never last, so why would I write it?

Anywhoooo!!!! I LOVE REVIEWS!!! 450 e-galleons for your thoughts!


	94. Chapter 94

_**NINTEY- FOUR**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn

* * *

**

Would you like to admit that you were wrong, Minerva?

_Not particularly. _

Did you at least pay Horace the bet money?

_Yes…_

Did she, Horace?

**Surprisingly, yes!**

_I hold up my end of bargains! Heaven's sake!_

I think you've got to admit you were wrong as well, Filius, Pomona.

_I'm quite happy to say I was wrong. _

Yes, Potter made it a month. Congratulations.

Well there's no need to be so enthusiastic, Pomona!

Whatever. Let's move on. Who was listening?

_Listening?_

To Potter and Evans, of course!

_Were we supposed to be?_

If you don't know the answer to that, Filius…

_Well I wasn't. That'd be quite rude. _

Minerva?

**She was a bit distraught over the fact that she lost the bet. **

_Ha ha, Horace._

**Prove me wrong!**

_I only heard bits and pieces, Pomona. They were across the room, you know. Not to say I was trying to listen or anything…_

Of course you weren't, Minerva. 

Come on, out with it! What'd you hear?

_They were just talking…_

…You mean arguing.

_No. Talking. In a civil manner. _

_In a civil manner? There's no way possible!_

_That's the impression I got. I mean… the Three Broomsticks is still standing, either way._

This is truly shocking.

_Indeed it is. _

Well, the good terms weren't long lasting. Are they on patrol tonight?

_Yes…_

They're shouting again.

_Merlin's beard. _

Teenagers. I don't think anyone understands them. Not even themselves.

* * *

_**Boys' Dorm**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

Remus!

* * *

…

Remus! Come on, man!

_James, I'm trying to sleep. Leave me alone or I'll tie you to your bedpost. _

This is IMPORTANT! I need your help!

_Alright, I'm sat up, and I'm so awake I won't be able to go back to sleep for another forty minutes, at least. What do you want?_

I've got another deal going with Lily –

_Merlin's beard, James! Tell me you didn't volunteer yourself for this one, because if you did, I'm going to sleep now._

Look, the deal is that if I can pull all my grades up to an 'E' she'll go on another date!

_She admitted it was a date?_

Not exactly… but that's really what it'd be.

_James…_

Come on! Will you help me or not?

_Alright, alright. But only because I'll never hear the end of it if I don't. _

YAY! Thanks Remus! What a friend!

_What subjects do I need to help you with?_

Astronomy, Charms, and Potions.

_What the heck? Slughorn loves you! How do you NOT have an 'O' in that class?_

I failed to turn in that two-foot essay last week. Killed my grade.

_I won't ever understand you. The month that you have loads of extra time from lack of detention, you fail to turn in the most assignments. _

I was distracted! And you know, I started on that essay, but Sirius burned it in hopes that I'd curse him and land myself in detention, so it wasn't all my fault.

_You're hopeless. _

I know. Now come on, what do I have to do?

_Put effort into the class and your work!_

Remus, come on!

_Ask the teachers if there's anything you can do for extra credit, and go above and beyond their requirements on assignments. What are your current grades?_

P in Astronomy, A in Charms, A in Potions.

_How much time do you have?_

Two weeks.

_Alright, should be able to pull it off. I'd talk to the professors ASAP, though. Especially Astronomy.  
_

I'll talk to them tomorrow morning!

_Good James!_

I'm not a dog. That's Sirius.

_Whoops. My mistake. _

Speaking of Sirius, I'd appreciate it if he didn't know about this. Good night!

_Hold on a second there, Prongs!_

Ack! Let go of the back of my robes! You're choking me!

_Sorry, need to keep you here. Why not tell Sirius?_

Because he's going to make getting my grades up fifteen times harder!

_Don't you think he'll wonder why you're spending so much time in the library and still not doing any pranks?_

-evil grin- Now who said part of the deal still included not getting thrown into detention?

_You're kidding, right?_

I most certainly am not! The deal was that I get my grades up. I'm going to do it. Then I get another date and before long, PRESTO! I got myself the best girlfriend.

_I'd watch yourself, James._

I am, I am. I'm off to start on my Charms essay!

_It's one in the morning, James!_

I know, but I'm going to have you look over it, then I'll fix it based on your suggestion and then I'll ask Flitwick to look over it before I turn it in!

_Bravo, James. You're catching on to this whole 'effort' thing. _

I know! Yay!

_Now leave me alone of I'm going to use you as practice for Transfiguration._

Alright!

* * *

**Author's Note**

AH HA!!! I MANAGED AN UPDATE!!!! Yessss! Unfortunate thing, I'm too tired to come up with a smart comment. I'm very tired. So... I'd appreciate reviews! Those things are pretty awesome! Leave me one? Please?


	95. Chapter 95

Some of you may be wondering why your email says I updated chapter 95 twice. That's because I did. The first time I put it up no one could get to it! Please let me know if this happens again so I can try to fix it!

Anyway, here's 95!

* * *

_**NINTEY FIVE – week later**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn

* * *

**

Hem, hem! 'Queen of Gossip' here with important news!

_To use your formal title, this must be very important indeed._

_Hmm… who should go first: the one with gossip or the one with soul-crushing news? _

…_I vote the gossip first. Soul-crushing news always ruins the mood. _

_Very well. Pomona, continue. _

Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans have another bet going.

_And what's your source for this?_

Mr. Black's complaining.

_That's a fairly reliable source. Carry on!_

The deal is that Potter gets all his grades up to 'E' within the next week and he gets date two.

_THAT EXPLAINS IT! IT'S BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!_

Explains what, Filius?

_Potter's been having me check over his assignments before he turns them in! I knew there had to be a reason…_

She's started training him already!

_Huzzah!_

**Ah, yes. He's been trying to pull his grade back up in Potions, as well.**

…How does he NOT have an 'O' in your class?

**He made the mistake of not turning in an important essay. It brought his grade down. I was very disappointed, I'll admit.**

_Are we ready for soul-crushing news yet?_

I think not. Let's continue talking about others behind their backs for a bit longer, shall we?

_There's no use putting it off, is there?_

I'd just rather not hear it. Soul-crushing news is… well, soul-crushing.

_Hence the adjective of soul-crushing._

_ANYWAY!_

_As you all know, the Aurors have gotten into the lovely habit of reading mail before it gets to the owners. _

Alastor's doing, no doubt. I vote –

_They recently opened a letter that contained a formal warning from one Dark Lord who is currently attempting to overthrow all of Europe._

Oh, sounds lovely.

…Why would he be WRITING to anyone?

_He wasn't. He just knew it'd be intercepted. _

_Moving right along! What did it say?_

_It said that he wanted to meet with James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Lily Evans._

NO!

When did Alastor send you that, Minerva?

_Just ten minutes ago! He said he'll be here as soon as he can._

Why would You-Know-Who want them? They're only seventeen!

_Not to mention Miss Evans is Muggle-born!_

Then that means he only wants them for one reason…

_But at the same time, Potter and Black as pureblooded as one can get!_

A puzzle indeed. 

_I'll tell them tomorrow._

I think there will be a time to tell them. This is not it. They are safe here at Hogwarts. Let them enjoy their last year. 

_It'll be their last year alive unless they know! They need to start – _

That is an overstatement. 

_Who has lived that he's wanted DEAD, Albus? They need to know!_

_He didn't say he wanted them dead. He said he wanted to meet them._

_And he'll offer them a place in his twisted world. And they'll refuse. Tell me what'll happen then, Filius!_

_Fair point. In that case, I side with Minerva. They should start learning – _

I will tell them when they need to be notified. 

_They'd better know before Christmas, Albus! _

If any of them go home, I will tell them.

Alastor's here. Good night!

… You're going to tell them aren't you, Minerva?

_Yes._

**Defying Dumbledore? I'd never think you to do such a thing, Minerva!**

_Shut it, Horace. I don't care what Albus says. They're not children anymore. They deserve and need to know. Much as I don't like saying it, we can't shield them forever.

* * *

_

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all looked at the Notebook, dumbstruck.

"Crap!" Remus exclaimed, quite out of character.

"We're screwed…" Sirius said slowly. "McGonagall's right. Once Voldemort decides to kill…"

"Lily!" James said suddenly. "Lily doesn't know!" He launched himself up off the floor and rocketed out of the dorm.

James looked at his watch as he walked tight circles around the common room. Lily always came down for patrol at 8:55. It was 8:54. Thirty more seconds. "_Come on, Lily!_" James impatiently thought.

Right on time, Lily descended the girl's staircase. James grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the common room immediately.

"Potter!" Lily shouted. "Let _go_!"

James ignored her and only let go once he'd pulled her into an empty classroom.

"Potter," Lily said suspiciously, "what is wrong with you?"

"Don't go home for Christmas," James blurted.

Lily pursed her lips and made for the door, but James stepped in front of her.

"I'm serious! Lily, don't go home for Christmas!"

"I'm going home for Christmas, Potter. Now move before I make you!"

"Lily, _please_!" James begged.

The tone in James' voice got Lily's full attention. He wasn't the Potter she was used to. "Potter… why?"

"If you go home you're not going to make it back here!" James said hurriedly. Then, in a whisper, he explained. "Voldemort's got a price on your head!"

"That is the _cruelest_ think you've ever said in your life, Potter!" Lily shrieked. She stepped around him, but he caught her arm and swung her right back around.

"I'm not kidding!" James said earnestly. "He's after you! He's after me! He's after Sirius, Remus, and Peter, too! Why would I joke about this, Lily?"

He had a good point. Settling into shock, Lily leaned against the wall and slid down it. She suddenly felt more terrified than ever before as the news sank in. _Voldemort was after her_.

"Why?" she managed to wheeze. "What does he want?"

"I don't know why or what!" James admitted. He massaged his forehead and sat down next to Lily. She was too out of it to complain.

"I mean… we're only seventeen!" Lily said. "What could he possibly want?"

"I don't _know_!" James repeated. "You're Muggle-born, which would make one think that he just wants us all out of the way. But at the same time, Sirius and I are as pure as you can get!"

"But you're 'blood traitors'. Or Black is, at least."

"True," James admitted. "But even with that, there's Remus."

"Why Remus?"

"Let's just say that Voldemort would like him." James leaned forward and pushed his hands onto his shut eyes.

"And what would he possibly want with Pettigrew?"

"Crap…" James gasped.

"What?" Lily asked immediately. Things couldn't get worse, could they?

"Crap!" James repeated. He jumped off the ground. "Flitwick and McGonagall were right!" James no longer seemed aware of Lily's presence. "He wants to make us an offer! He knows! _Crap_! He knows!"

"What does he know?" Lily asked urgently.

James hardly missed a beat. "He knows us better than we think he does." James threw his fist at the door.

Lily heard a horrible crack. James' hand looked deformed; he broken something. "Potter, you've got to get to Madam Pomfrey."

"I'm fine!" James shouted.

The door James had just punched swung open to reveal Professor McGonagall, looking rather disheveled. "What's going on in – Potter, what did you do to your hand?!"

"I punched a door!" James said sourly. "I'm fine!"

"He's broken something, Professor. He needs to go to the hospital wing," Lily said firmly.

"No," James said aggressively, "I don't! I need to talk to Sirius, Remus and Peter!"

McGonagall raised an eyebrow at her student. "You already know!"

"Yeah, I already know!" James shouted. With another sickening crack, James pulled two of his deformed fingers straight, hardly noticing the pain. "And we've got more of a problem than anyone thinks!" Muttering to himself, he ran out of the room.

"Go back to your room, Miss Evans," McGonagall said as she watched James go. "I don't think skipping one night of patrol will cause an uproar."

Lily looked at her professor's face. "He wasn't lying," she said quietly. "Voldemort really is after us!"

"I'm afraid so," McGonagall said heavily.

* * *

**Author's Note**

NO! I am NOT wearing my Drama Queen crown! ...ok, maybe I am. It's like a boomerang! It just keeps coming back! But let'd ignore that for now, because it isn't the important thing.

I updated!!!! Aren't you so proud of me? Why don't you tell me how proud you are in a review! I'll give you 450 e-galleons for telling me what you thought of the chapter. Click the green button!


	96. Chapter 96

_**NINTEY-SIX – during Transfiguration, week later**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

_**Lily

* * *

**_

Hey! Lily! Guess what!

_**What, Potter?**_

I got all my marks up!

_**Congratulations.**_

Are you going to hold up to your end of the deal?

_**Unfortunately.**_

There's no need to be so enthusiastic!

_**James, I've hardly slept all week. Don't mess with me!**_

YOU CALLED ME JAMES!!! YOU'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE!

_Yes, congratulations, Prongs. Now please, sit down and shut up. McGonagall's got that look in her eye…_

_**He's already gotten himself chucked into detention. What else can she do?**_

**Teehee.**

_**Shut up, Black. It's your fault he's in it.**_

**I know. Hence the 'teehee'-ing. **

_**I don't see how any of you are finding anything amusing.**_

**Ah. We've only got the darkest wizard of the age after us.**

_**Of course. That isn't anything to worry about at all!**_

_Not until we're out of school. There's no way Voldemort's going to get into Hogwarts. _

_**Merlin's beard! Don't you realize – **_

**Yes, Evans. We realize. Contrary to your belief, we aren't stupid. We just have a brilliant strategic plan for once we graduate!**

_**Yeah? What's that?**_

**Oh, now if I told you, it wouldn't be any fun.**

Give it a rest, Sirius.

**Prongs, you aren't any fun anymore.**

I'm not? Five galleons says I can get up, touch McGonagall's desk, and sit back down before she turns around.

**Hey! I offered – **

I know you did. I'll take you up on it now.

**Fine. Go right ahead, Bambi.**

Sure thing, mangy mutt.

_**I think it's great to know how supportive you are of each other.**_

**Do I detect a hint of sarcasm, Miss Evans?**

_**Not at all, Black. **_

**Liar.**

_**Oh, you caught me!**_

You owe me five galleons, Padfoot.

**You kidding me? She saw you!**

She didn't say anything! Pay up.

**I liked things better when she wasn't afraid we'd fall down dead at any moment. **

_**Not funny, Black!**_

**Lighten up, Evans!**

_**Take things seriously!**_

**I have been! I am fully prepared for graduation. Right down to what I'll be doing.**

_**Getting yourself killed?**_

**If I do get myself killed I can assure you it won't be on purpose, and it'll be for a worthy cause.**

_**Black…**_

**Evans…**

_**Remus, what is he talking about?**_

_You already know what he's talking about._

_**You're all infuriating.**_

I'm not!

_**You're the most infuriating!**_

Yeah, but I'm the one that you have to put up with the most, so you'll get used to it.

_**I hope and pray I won't.**_

_Too late. _

_**Are you accusing me of being used to Potter?**_

What happened to James?

_Never mind, Lily._

_**No, come on. I want to know what you were thinking.**_

**By the look on McGonagall's face, I'd say she'd thinking about how many points she's going to dock. **

_**Why is it you four always get me into trouble?**_

We don't always get you into trouble.

**You bring it upon yourself by speaking with us.**

_**I ought to stop then.**_

No, you shouldn't!

…

Evans! Pssst!

Sirius, this is your fault.

**Ah. She's just throwing a fit. You've got patrol tonight anyway.**

Oh! Fair point!

When's the next Hogsmeade visit? I'm running low on things from Honeydukes.

_Pete, we only went to Hogsmeade two weeks ago! _

And you bought half the shop! How are you running low already?

I've been hungry…

_Well, you're going to be hungry a lot. I don't know when the next visit is._

**Head Boy does! Don't you, Head Boy?**

I don't know. McGonagall hasn't said anything about it.

_In all honesty, there might not be another Hogsmeade visit._

**WHAT?**

_Think about it! Voldemort's made specific threats against students. Do you really think we'll be allowed to go back?_

**Allowed or not, I'm going back. What's Voldemort going to do? Stake out Zonko's?**

Nah. He wouldn't do that. Trixie might, though.

**Ah… then I shall most definitely go. **

_I truly question your sanity._

What sanity?

_You're one to talk!_

I'm just pointing out the fact that Sirius doesn't have any sanity either.

_Merlin, help me. I'm surrounded by idiots._

Hey, by definition of the Hogwarts staff, you're an idiot, too!

_Only because I'm around you lot all the time!_

The point still remains. Your classification is 'Idiot'!

**Yours is worse, James. Your classification is 'Head Boy'! How disgusting a title!**

I didn't choose it!

_I didn't choose my classification, either._

Well aren't we in a bit of a situation…

_One that isn't likely to be resolved. Shall we move on?_

Indeed we shall, Mr. Moony! It is time for Charms!

**Huzzah! Let's get going!

* * *

**

**Author's Note**

You know what? School is not fun.

Anywho... I woud like to know what you thought of this chapter and am willing to trade you 400 e-galleons for your review.


	97. Chapter 97

_**NINTEY-SEVEN**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

Well I wouldn't have ever thought it to happen.

_Quite shocking, indeed. _

_I've missed something?_

Minerva McGonagall where have you been?

_Under a rock?_

Apparently!

_Well now that that's been established… What have I missed?_

Well, I suppose you haven't had class with them since it happened…

_Pomona…_

Lily Evans agreed to go on a third date with James Potter without any sort of bet involved!

_I'm sure Potter won't shut up about it._

_Correct!_

_And Evans' face is probably redder than her hair. _

_Correct again. Do you have them in class right now?_

_No, I don't. They're just too predictable. _

Or perhaps you know them too well?

_Are you making accusations, Pomona?_

Me? Never!

_Of course you wouldn't. _

_You know… Never mind._

You can't do that! You started, finish.

_No, really. It's entirely pessimistic and I sincerely doubt you want to hear it._

I might not, but now I'm extremely curious.

_If I dare suggest that perhaps the students are fearing for their lives – _

I wonder why that could be…

_Yes, well, they know that they have a dark lord just waiting for them to leave the school. Perhaps they are rushing things._

That is extremely pessimistic and I don't want to believe it. Filius never spoke.

_Agreed. _

I still think they would have been fine without that bit of information for a bit longer. Poor Miss Evans looks like she hasn't slept all week.

_For heaven's sake! How many times do I have to tell you that they knew before I went off to tell them?_

Did I say anything?

_You were thinking it!_

_I still have no idea how they would already know. We'd only just found out… And surely we'd know if he'd told them personally, somehow. _

_I have a feeling it'll remain a mystery. _

To some, perhaps.

_If you know how they knew then why do you keep mentally accusing me?_

I'm not! You just have a guilty conscious!

_Nonsense! Why would I feel guilty about giving them a necessary warning?_

Something we shall ponder…

_Who is 'we'?_

Alastor's here again.

_I'm getting rather tired of that man. He never brings good news._

_Well we can't all be Pomona flying in with entertaining bits of information, can we?_

I can't decide whether or not I resent that…

* * *

_**Boys' Dorm**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

* * *

I'M GOING OUT WITH LILY EVANS!!!! LILY EVANS IS MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!

**Heard you the first… how many times, Pete?**

That was 338. 

**Right. Heard you the first 338 times, Prongs.**

But, Sirius! LILY EVANS! The most gorgeous –

**James, I am going to throw up on your bed. **

_I don't think he'd care that much. _

**He would when he wanted to go to sleep.**

_I don't think he plans on sleeping. _

**Well that can easily be rearranged. **

_Merlin's beard! James! Stop jumping on all the beds!_

But REMUS!

_Yes, yes. I know. But do try to calm down, or the sixth years are going to go complain to McGonagall. _

Let them!

_I don't feel like dealing with them or her right now. _

I can take all of them on at once, and win!

**James is feeling a wee bit invincible. Should we remind him that he isn't?**

_No. He'll probably try to fly any moment. He'll jump out the window and save us some trouble. _

**Ah, I like your train of thought, Remus!**

There's a train of thought? 

…

**Yes, Pete. There is. It's blue with purple wheels and orange windows. **

Sounds cool! Where's the platform?

**Ah, that's the sad thing. It's on Neptune. **

Isn't that in Australia?

…

**Yep.**

But that's a long way away!

**Not if you ride a Crumple-Horned Snorkack.**

_Sirius, we know those don't exist. Stop messing with Peter. _

**I can't help it!**

_Yes, you can. _

**Ok, I can. But that doesn't mean I'm going to!**

_I've learned. _

Which place do you think is better? Clock or Astronomy tower?

**Astronomy. It's much easier to throw people off of. Why?**

Then I'll take her to the clock tower again! Maybe it'll be more fun without the thought of someone dying over our heads…

**He's not going to shut up about it, is he?**

_I think you can answer that for yourself. _

**I vote we tie him up and gag him.**

_We'll give him the benefit of the doubt._

**Fifteen minutes?**

_Alright. Fifteen. Then we'll get him._

**We have a deal!**

Author's Note

Ah, the tragic love tale continues!

I'll trade you 450 e-galleons for a review. :D

* * *


	98. Chapter 98

_**NINTEY-EIGHT**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

I need a second, third, fourth and fifth opinion. Should there be more Hogsmeade visits?

_I think if you plan it far enough in advance that you can get plenty of security, then yes, there should be. _

Oh… I don't know. If anything happens, it's a long way back to safety.

**Perhaps parents should be notified of the risks?**

_I agree. We can send out another permission form. _

Whoah! The world just flipped!

_What did I miss this time?_

_You agreed with Horace!_

_He had a valid point!_

Back to the issue at hand…

_Send out a second permission form, arrange security, and be sure to talk to all the shopkeepers._

_I don't think Potter, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew or Evans should go. _

Interesting. I'm surprised. Please elaborate. 

_If you're on my side, why am I elaborating?_

I need you to completely convince yourself. 

_-sigh- Fine. Even if there is a load of security on the day of the visit, we know that the Idiots are likely to slip out somehow. Miss Evans would, of course, notice, but by the time she found one of us it might already be too late. And we could always have an Auror following each of them, but that would tip other students off that something was going on, and it would only make them stick out more. Besides that, by them being there, it raises all the other students' risk levels. _

Very good! 

_Yes, I've convinced myself. Congratulations on getting me to do so. _

…Now who is going to tell them they can't go?

…

_On second thought, I say we cancel the trip all together!_

_Oh, come on now. _

_I don't want to tell them! The Idiots being told they can't go to Zonko's is their version of soul-crushing news!_

They've got to be told.

_Oh, hold on a moment! This should be your deal!_

You're their head of house! And you made the suggestion.

_But you're the one that ultimately makes the decision of them going!_

Minerva…

_You know, there are some days that I really hate this job._

* * *

Minerva, did you already tell them?

_Yes, I crushed their souls. Are you happy?_

Would you mind coming up to my office?

_Oh! Am I getting fired?_

Wishful thinking. 

_Then what's going on?_

A few Gryffindors have decided to pay me a visit. 

_Well, what do you need me for? I did my part!_

Yes, I know you did. 

_Do you feel the displeasure radiating off of me?_

Yes, I do. 

_Just checking._

_Now… how did that happen?_

I'm not entirely sure…

How'd what happen?

_They somehow managed to make an argument that seemed reasonable and they're going to Hogsmeade…_

You caved?

_I don't know what happened! You try making sense of anything with five seventh years calling out suggestions every two seconds!_

You just keep saying no…

I think that's what happened…

Huh?

_Black! How extraordinarily Slytherin of him!_

What'd he do?

_He played off the fact that we were answering 'no' to everything._

Elaborate, please.

_For example, instead of saying, "Can we go to Hogsmeade?" he switched it up and said, "Can we not go to Hogsmeade?" That way when we said no…_

You'd actually be telling him to go. Clever. And then they left before you could work out what happened.

_Pretty much…_

Clever indeed. 

_There's still the second permission form. Just write an extra note on theirs…_

_Fair point, Filius. I ought to start on those._

Indeed you should.

_I think I'll put them in detention first chance I get._

I'll help you come up with something for them to do during said detention!

* * *

_**Gryffindor Common Room – later in the night**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

_**Lily**_

* * *

**Whooo! We're still going to Hogsmeade!**

_**Stop dancing around, Black!**_

**Come on, Lily. You're dating my best mate. I think it's about time we get to a first-name-basis. **

_**Maybe later!**_

_We're still going to Hogsmeade but I doubt it'll be as fun as usual. What with teachers glaring at us the entire time and then Aurors finding excuses to follow us and such. _

Trivial matters, Moony!

_**They were only trying to protect us, you know.**_

**We can protect ourselves just fine! We've been practicing our disguises and we're experts at hiding!**

_**Is that why you always hide behind a piece of furniture which one can still see your feet under?**_

**You know, I've been meaning to do something about that…**

Ah. We'll be fine. I mean, honestly. Is Voldemort going to stop for a quick drink and then come off us? I think Madam Rosemerta would kind of notice him in her bar…

**Uh… if we see Trixie, I call dibs. **

_That works out rather well, considering she's probably called dibs on you._

**Good! I won't have anyone interfering, then.**

_**Isn't she married? I think her husband might stick up for her.**_

**That marriage is strictly business, meant to keep pureblood in the next generation. I don't think either of them could care less about the other.**

_**That's sad…**_

**It's what she deserves, the bi – **

Sirius, don't curse!

**Sorry, Wormtail!**

Well, from either a love or a child standpoint, the LeStranges kind of fail.

**It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. **

_**That's sad, Black. **_

Seriously, Lily. You've never met Trixie.

_**I don't think I need to in order to know how cruel she is!**_

And does someone like that deserve happiness?

**I think she's happy as long as she's at her master's side, doing his bidding**_**.**_

_**Disgusting.**_

**Quite.**

_Can you imagine? That's what he wants US to do!_

_**What, be his slaves?**_

Unless he's planning on killing us the second he sees us… One of the two.

_**James…**_

I know; you hate it when I talk like that.

**Get used to it, Lily, dear!**

_**I hope I don't. And don't call me that!**_

**What? Lily, dear?**

_**Yes!**_

**I shall try to restrain myself, but it's a well known fact that I don't have the best self-control in the world. **

_**You'd better develop it!**_

**You can't threaten or train me like you're doing to James!**

Hey, I'm still Prongs!

**Only when she lets you be!**

_**I'm not controlling him, Black!**_

**Pfffffft!**

_**Then let it be known here and now that James can do whatever he pleases as long as he doesn't drag me into it. **_

**Oh, wow! James, you've been granted freedom! Let's go rig Sluggy's office. **

We did that yesterday, Sirius.

**Oh, yeah. We did… Hmm…**

_**I'll leave you to plot on your own. I'm going to bed!**_

Good night, Lily!

**Don't forget to let the bed bugs bite!**

_**Haha, Black. **_

**Alright… where were we?**

* * *

**Author's Note**

Sirius is such a boy...

Anyway! I'd appreciate a review. Hey, I'll even trade you 500 e-galleons for one!


	99. Chapter 99

_**NINTEY NINE – weeks later**_

"What are you lot laughing at?" Lily asked, coming down the girls' staircase into the common room.

Sirius quickly shut a plain black notebook. "We need a reason to laugh?"

"There's always a reason for your laughing, Sirius. I'm concerned," Lily said smartly.

"Well, Lily, dear," Sirius said with excess sweetness, "we'd tell you, but wouldn't you like to have deniability?"

Lily glared at Sirius for a moment and passed her eyes over Remus and Peter before landing her gaze on James. "James," she said slowly, "What's with the book?"

"It's just a book," James said with a shrug.

"Yeah, right," Lily scoffed. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at the book again. "Wait a second… I recognize that!"

"Yes, Lily!" Sirius said with a made up accent. "This is what we call a _notebook_. It's a bunch of pieces of paper glued together at the edges to make a book that you can write in! It's truly a fascinating object."

"No, I saw you crowded around it in fourth year! You were giggling at it then, too!" Lily said vehemently.

"Now that's a bit unfair," James pouted. "Men don't giggle."

"Whoever said you were men?"

"So you're dating a boy?" Sirius inquired.

"Oh, that's got to be awkward with the age difference, Prongs," Remus said sympathetically.

"Ha ha, all of you," Lily said sarcastically. "And just because you said that, Remus, I call you end up marrying someone that's way older or younger than you."

"I call I end up not getting married," Remus said with a half-hearted smile.

"Stop distracting me! What's with the notebook?"

The marauders looked around at each other. Lily hated it when they did that. The four boys were so in sync that they could have entire conversations without actually saying anything.

"Alright, Lily," James said, patting the ground beside him. "We'll tell you, but this is something that no one else can know about. And before you ask, yes, we will own up to it eventually."

Feeling extremely nervous, Lily sat down next to her boyfriend as Sirius opened the plain black notebook again.

* * *

_**Teachers' Notebook**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn**

* * *

It's only Christmas! Gah! I swear time keeps slowing down.

_Perhaps you're unconsciously slowing it down in your mind because you don't want the year to end. _

Perhaps you're looking too deeply into the situation.

Why are we complaining that it's Christmas?

Because it should be later in the year.

Actually, astronomy cha – 

I'm sure you have a thrilling explanation, Dumbledore, but I'm really not in the mood.

Oh, but it's so truly fascinating!

_Well that's odd…_

What's odd? Who did what?

_Hold your horses, of great Queen of Gossip. _

No.

_Very well. What's odd is that Evans signed to stay here over break. _

That's a first…

_Mr. Potter is staying, is he not?_

Oh, joy. We get to listen to their arguing all break. They've only been dating for a few weeks and they already fight like an old married couple!

_They argued like an old married couple before they were a couple. _

I was hoping for a break from it.

_Denied. _

Thanks for driving the point home, Filius.

_You're welcome, Pomona!_

Enough of this. I vote we work on our Secret Santa gifts!

_I still say that was a stupid idea. _

I didn't ask for your hurtful opinion, thank you very much!

_I like the idea. It's much easier and cheaper. _

**Now, now, now, Filius! Christmas is a time of giving! Money shouldn't matter. **

_Merlin's beard… you still got everyone a gift, didn't you?_

**Why would you say such a thing? Of course not!**

_Dispose of the extras._

**I don't have any extras!**

_Liar._

**Am not!**

_Don't start that!_

**Start what?**

_I'm done with this. _

…

…

**I WON!**

Uh oh…

**Look at that! I won!**

Congratulations, Horace. 

**You're just jealous because you never win any arguments with her. **

Actually, I do. But I'm not getting into this, and I gave no indications of jealousy. I have a box that needs to be wrapped and decorated! This is a much more pressing matter than some trivial argument. 

…**Where's my crystallized pineapple?**

Look at that! Minerva won after all!

**This is not happening again!**

_Actually, it is._

**YOU!**

_Yes, it is me. _

**I'll get you for this.**

_Eh. What's one more person trying to get me?_

**You're more trouble now then you were in school, do you know that?**

_I've had years to practice and improve methods. Now please, go start your plotting and leave us alone. _

**I still have plans from last time!**

_Plans which you never executed, and I doubt you ever will. Be gone!_

**Just you wait…**

What's going on?

_Why bother asking? You just read all of it._

No… you're impatient. What happened?

_The ordinary._

Very well. I'm going to bed. Good night!

…

Alright. What was that?

_Fabian and Gideon went into hiding. _

Oh, dear…

_They told Alastor and headed off. They said they'll check in when they can and come back in a few months. _

Do they have a secret keeper?

_Each other._

Smart, in a way, I suppose. They're splitting up, then?

_Fantastic deductive reasoning, Albus. _

Does Molly know?

_They asked that she not be told until they're well on their way. _

Understandable. She does know them best, after all. 

_I'm tired of this! Tell me some sort of progress has been made. _

I hate to burst your bubble…

_Are you serious? Nothing? At all?_

Without an inside source… 

_There's no hope. _

I wouldn't say no hope… Our acquaintance simply keeps his cards very close. We'll get a break sometime.

_Let's hope it's before all of Europe is enslaved. _

* * *

_**Gryffindor Common Room**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

_**Lily**_

* * *

_**This is how you've known EVERYTHING!**_

…Yup. That sounds about right.

_**How long have you had this?**_

Since first year, though we've only been able to open in since third.

_**I can't believe you did that!**_

**Hey, Princess, you said you wouldn't turn us in.**

_**I won't… I want in, too. **_

**James, I approve of this one. She's a keeper. **

_**Shut up, Sirius.**_

Glad to have your blessing, Padfoot!

_Am I the only one concerned about Fabian and Gideon going into hiding?_

You're surprised?

_**Who are they?**_

**Only some of the greatest pranksters ever to pass through Hogwarts!**

_**And now?**_

**Well now they're in hiding. Duh!**

They've been working for the Order since near the beginning.

_**So they've gone into hiding, likely because threats have been made and almost put into action… and you still want to join the Order?**_

Yes.

_**Why?**_

Because someone's got to fight.

**Dibs on Trixie. **

_Yes, Padfoot, we know! You call Trixie!_

**I just like reminding you so you don't forget. **

_Rest assured, we won't forget!_

_**I don't understand! We should be planning on going into hiding, not into an open battle field!**_

What fun is hiding?

_**I don't care about fun, James. I care about keeping safe!**_

**You kidding? The Order's completely safe!**

_**Really?**_

**No. That was actually a complete lie, but I thought I'd give it a shot. **

It's really quite unfortunate that bad news came during your first reading of the Notebook, Lily.

_**I was amused until then, if it makes you feel any better.**_

**Fantastic! Let's switch subjects!**

I'm for it!

**Of course you are, Pete!**

_Let me guess. You thought the teachers were always very professional and wouldn't ever mess with each other simply for the heck of it._

…_**Maybe. **_

Code for 'yes'.

_**Well who would guess that… all of that! Seriously?**_

**Present!**

_**Shut up, Sirius!**_

**No.**

Things were funnier a few years ago.

_**That so?**_

Yup. Dumbledore and McGonagall used to fight ALL the time! It was hilarious.

_**Used to?**_

_As of late they've overcome more and more differences. _

**A negative of the Order. **

_**I'd consider it a positive!**_

**Did I ask you?**

_**Can I kill him?**_

_I'll hold him down for you._

Oh, now you two might want to reconsider.

_Why is that, Prongs?_

Imagine me without Sirius to joke around with.

…_**Point.**_

_We can just kill both of them._

_**I dunno… James is kind of starting to grow on me. **_

Oh, don't I feel special!

_Is James a malignant or benign tumor?_

Ha ha, Moony.

_I found it amusing._

_**Hey, what was with that comment Sprout made? James, we don't fight like an old couple, do we?**_

Of course not!

_Yeah… you do. _

Nuh-huh!

**Stop sucking up, James. You know you do.**

_**Sirius, didn't I tell you to shut up?**_

**Since when do I listen to you?**

WARNING! Someone's coming!

Good job, Pete. It's only Dennis!

**Let's ninja-stalk him and find out where he's going!**

I'm game!

Wormtail, you couldn't play the part of a ninja to save your life.

_Ninjas never admit their ninjas. For all we know, Peter could be one!_

**Touché! I'm going to follow Dennis, in any case. **

_**Why do we care about ninjas?**_

Lily! How could you NOT care about ninjas?

_**Because pirates are better. **_

Oh… oh no! This can't be happening! Ninjas will always own pirates.

_**No way! Pirates will forever beat ninjas. **_

What can pirates do? Sail away? Ninjas can swim across the sea and stay under it the entire time.

_**That's a bit of an overstatement. **_

It so is not! Come on, we're settling this once and for all!

_**How do you plan on doing that?**_

Ask Dumbledore and McGonagall.

_**We're not going to go bother them now! It's one in the morning!**_

And they're still awake!

_**I'm not going to go bother the Headmaster over your stupidity, James!**_

Fine. I'll bother him!

_**No you won't! Come back here!**_

_And so the old couple hobbles away on their canes, or is this such a pressing matter that they'll grab the wheelchairs?_

_**I'll get you later, Remus!**_

_Now THAT sounds like a marauder's girlfriend!_

* * *

Professor McGonagall shuffled papers around on her desk. She looked over at her clock, sighed, and took her glasses off to rub her eyes. Why was she still up?

Putting her glasses back on, McGonagall muttered a spell and a stack of papers burst into flames. The past hour of her life was ablaze. One day she would snap and seriously hurt Moody for his paranoia.

"There's no way you can win this argument, James!"

McGonagall groaned. It was too late for this! Maybe if she just turned off the lights, they would simply pass by.

"Lily, honestly, your thinking needs to be set straight!"

"_Your_ thinking needs to be set straight! I can't believe you believe what you do!"

It was too late to put plan into action. By now James and Lily had already seen the light coming from under their professor's door. Sure enough, someone was pounding on the office entrance a moment later.

McGonagall hauled herself out of her chair and made her way over to the door. "Might I ask why you are not in your respective dormitories?" she asked as she opened the door.

"Professor, this is a serious problem!" James stated.

"Is it?" McGonagall questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"This is a make or break relationship question!"

McGonagall raised her other eyebrow.

"He's crazy, Professor!" Lily exclaimed, glaring at James.

"I thought you were already well aware of that fact, Miss Evans," the professor said dryly.

"Alright, the question!" James said. "Which is better: a pirate or a ninja?"

Professor McGonagall did not say anything for a moment. "There'd better be another question, Potter, or you'd better be on your way."

"In that case, we do have another question!" James said brightly.

"We do?" Lily queried.

"Indeed!" James answered. "Do you know if Professor Dumbledore is still up?"

"As a matter of fact, Mr. Potter, I am still awake, though I question why you are," said a familiar voice.

"Professor!" James said happily. "We're still up because we're having a bit of a spat that needs to be cleared up. How about you? Insomnia?"

"James!" Lily hissed.

"Quite alright, Miss Evans!" Dumbledore said with a chuckle. "I've just been sent an owl by a friend of mine, Dorcas Meadows. You may have heard of her before." Dumbledore peered at James over his glasses, making the teenager feel as if Dumbledore knew why James knew. "Now what is the cause of this 'spat' you're having?"

"Well Lily here… ugh! I can't even say it!" James huffed dramatically and looked over at the red-head beside him.

"James has the _audacity_ to say ninjas are better than pirates, Professor!" Lily said with venom.

"Oh, my, Mr. Potter!" Dumbledore said with a disappointed tone. "The skills of a pirate far outweigh those of a ninja."

"You are joking, aren't you, Dumbledore?" asked McGonagall.

"I am not, Minerva!"

"What can a pirate do in comparison to a ninja?"

"I like the way you think, Professor McGonagall!" James said approvingly.

"Professor Dumbledore agrees with me, James. Therefore, I win!" Lily said haughtily.

"No offence, to you, Headmaster," James said, "but between you and our Transfiguration Professor, my money's on her!"

Lily gasped in horror and outrage. Dumbledore sighed. "I'm afraid, Mr. Potter, that you're quite delusional. I believe a note to your parents is in order."

"Oh, now see here, Dumbledore," McGonagall butted in, "Potter's welcome to have his own opinion!"

"Since when has Hogwarts been a democracy?" Dumbledore asked.

James threw a fist into the air. "Fight the power!" he exclaimed.

"Doing as the higher power tells you usually ends better," Lily snapped.

"Arguable!" said a new voice. Sirius came around the corner and stood by his best friend.

"Why must you always pop into these conversations, Black? I thought you were stalking Dennis? Get lost!" Lily snarled.

"Dennis?" Sirius asked. "He's right over there! OY! DENNIS! GET OVER HERE!"

"You've lost, Lily. Ninjas now outvote the pirates," James said smugly.

"Is that so?" Lily asked. "Dennis!" she said warmly to the second year coming around the corner, "Ninjas or pirates?"

"Pirates!" Dennis said without hesitation.

"Good lad!" Dumbledore said with pride.

"Detention, Stingfellow!" McGonagall said, glaring at him.

"Hold on, Professor," James said in a calm voice. "Padfoot and I have got this one."

"We most certainly do, Prongs," Sirius said mildly. "Dennis, come here."

"You'll never catch me, a pirate!" Dennis proclaimed. "I'm a pro at escaping the law! I wish you luck!" As James and Sirius slowly stepped toward him, Dennis flung open a portrait on the wall and shut it behind himself.

"That one goes to the seventh floor, Padfoot!" James exclaimed. "Go! Go! Go!"

"Wait! Prongs! It can also go down to the kitchens!" Sirius argued.

"Where do you think I'm going?" James asked as he ran around a corner.

Lily found herself feeling very awkward alone in a hallway with the Headmaster and his Deputy.

"Miss Evans," McGonagall said with a sigh, "I'm very disappointed in you." She went back into her office and closed the door.

"Don't listen to her," Dumbledore said after a moment, "She gets rather moody after losing an argument." He winked at his student and walked off, humming to himself.

Lily grinned and skipped all the way back to her room and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

**Author's Note**

Why? Because I can! I'm going to put a poll up on my profile. Check it out!

"OMG! Who is Dennis? Like, seriously. He just kind of popped up!" He's a second year that the marauders met in their sixth year. Check out chapter 73. It should clear things up.

Reviews are very much appreciated. I will give you 475 e-galleons for one! :D


	100. Chapter 100

_**ONE-HUNDRED**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

_**Lily**_

* * *

IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!

_Congratulations on knowing what day it is, Prongs!_

Just because I didn't know yesterday was Tuesday when you asked…

PRESENTS!!!!

**Yes, Pete. We do have presents. **

Where?

**I stole them from the foot of your bed this morning.**

That's not nice, Padfoot! Give them back!

**No.**

Whyyyy?

Because, Pete, we all agreed we'd open them together.

When did that happen?

_When you fell asleep last night._

Well that's not fair…

_**Life's not fair, Peter.**_

**Way to be a killjoy, Evans. **

_**Someone ought to be.**_

**That's usually Remus' job.**

_**Well he's falling down on it.**_

_Am not!_

_**Are too! When was the last time you crushed their spirits?**_

_Lily, it's Christmas! This is not the season for spirit crushing, but spirit raising!_

And presents!

Yes, Pete! We know there are presents!

_**I still say Secret Santas would have been a good idea…**_

We're guys, Lily. We don't do that.

**Besides, money is no option at a time like Christmas!**

_**Alright, Slughorn.**_

**I think I want to take offence to that…**

_**Well while you figure that out…**_

Let's start unwrapping before Pete wets himself.

**But that'd be so funny!**

_You'd be cleaning up._

**Just kidding. Let's get started!**

YES! Let's!

* * *

_**Tell me again: who bought Peter the Whoopi Cushion?**_

…**That was a combined effort.**

It's no use, Padfoot. She sees!

_**And what do I see, James?**_

You see my guilt. It was I who purchased the Whoopi Cushion for Peter. I thought it'd be funny… I was mistaken.

_**James, I will give you a thirty second head start. **_

Oh, hey! I can get pretty far in thirty seconds!

_**You're down to twenty!**_

I'm gone!

**Moony, should we watch and see who wins?**

_Indeed we shall, Padfoot! What a splendid way to wrap up Christmas morning!_

**Five galleons on Prongs.**

_Five on Lily. _

**We'll leave Peter to his own devices?**

_I think he's happier that way. Let's get going!_

* * *

"Well look at that! A whole ten minutes without any students! Perhaps they all died?" Sprout thought aloud as she sat at the single large table in the Great Hall.

"Great, Pomona! You've probably jinxed us!" said Professor Flitwick, handing a pitcher of juice to his left.

"Oh, I bet I haven't," Sprout retorted. "Spending a bit of time up in the Divination room, are we?"

"Shhh!" McGonagall ordered, waving her hand. "Do you hear that?" All the teachers strained their ears.

"So help me, Potter! If you _ever_ – "

"I didn't know, Lily! I swear I didn't!"

"Get over here! I'll show you how true I think that statement was!"

"NO! No wands! Put it away! We can work this out in a calm, rational manner!"

"My willingness to negotiate went out the window once Peter opened your stupid present!"

"Lily! No! Stop! Violence is not the answer!"

"_Impedimenta!_"

"_Protego!_"

Filius Flitiwck propped his head up on his hand and looked over at his coworker. "This is your fault. I told you that you jinxed us."

"Your elbow is in the butter dish, Filius," Sprout stated calmly.

"Is anyone going to do anything about the duel breaking out in the hallway?" Dumbledore asked. "…Judging by those looks I'd say not…"

"Safe guess, Albus!" McGonagall said with sarcasm.

The Great Hall doors burst open and a red-faced James Potter ran through them. "SANCTUARY!" he exclaimed, throwing his fist into the air.

Lily Evans appeared shortly after him just as out of breath as James. "Just you wait. There will be a time when there is no sanctuary and there are no witnesses."

"Professors!" James said in a whiney voice, "Lily's threatening me!"

"She's only doing what they wish they could be, Prongs!" Sirius said calmly, walking past the young couple with Remus to sit down at the table. "What have we here? FRENCH TOAST?! It's all mine."

James looked dejected and turned back towards the doors.

"Step one foot outside," Lily hissed dangerously, "and you're mine!"

James rethought his previous plan and sat down at the table next to Remus. "So," he said as if nothing odd were going on, "How has everyone's morning been so far?"

"Where's Pettigrew?" McGonagall asked.

"Oh, well my morning's been fine, too, Professor. Thank you for asking!" James said with an annoying smile. Lily punched him in the shoulder as she sat down. "Ow!" James complained.

"Peter is playing with his safe new toy, Professor," Remus answered his teacher.

"Safe?" Sirius scoffed. "Debatable. The idiot's likely to try and eat it."

"He can't be that thick, can he?" Lily asked.

"How can you ask that, Lily?" James questioned. "Of course he is! Last year he tied to eat a sock that'd been dipped in pudding!" In response to the numerous concerned and curious looks he was getting, James explained, "…You'd really rather not know."

"Honestly, you don't want to know," Remus confirmed. He shuddered a moment later.

"Shouldn't someone be watching him then?" Sprout asked.

"No," James said, shoving the food in his mouth to the side. "I put a charm on it. If he tries to eat it he'll chuck it up."

"Ew! James! People are trying to eat!" Lily said with disgust. "And don't talk with your mouth full!"

"Sorry," James said emotionlessly around half-chewed egg.

"Disgusting," Lily muttered to herself.

Sirius suddenly perked up and looked towards the door. "I believe we have a visitor," he said calmly. "Or did someone on the staff forget to set their alarm?"

"Describe the footfalls, Padfoot!" James requested.

"Heavy, booted… No, it isn't someone on staff," Sirius informed.

Remus stood up. "It's for us. I bet you anything. James, they finally caught up with you!"

"Oh!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping up," I bet you a bite!"

Remus frowned. "Almost anything, then."

"Come on, Moony!"

"No, Sirius! Would you shut up?"

"I don't feel like it!"

"Both of you sit down and shut your traps or go back to your rooms!" McGonagall said loudly. "Good Lord!"

"Wait for it," Sirius said anxiously, looking at the Great Hall doors. "Wait for it… Five… Four… Three…"

The doors to the room swung open and a figure strode through them.

"Your two seconds early!" Sirius complained.

"Hush your mouth, boy!" Alastor Moody harshly commanded.

"Yes, sir!" Sirius said meekly and quickly sat back down at the table.

"Alastor?" Dumbledore queried. "To what do we owe your sudden appearance?"

"Where's the fifth one?" Moody growled, pointing at James, Lily, Sirius, and Remus and ignoring Dumbledore.

"What do you need Pete for?" James asked.

Moody glared at James.

"He's upstairs. But, honestly… He's not much use on days he gets presents," James explained.

"You there," Moody snapped, pointing at Remus, "go get the fifth. You three, with me."

"Alastor!" McGonagall barked. "What is going on?"

"Bit of a 'Christmas present' of sorts, Professor," Moody said with lack of emotion. "You lot think I was kidding?" he addressed the students who had yet to move. "Up!"

The seventh years popped out of their seats. Remus jogged to the door as James, Lily, and Sirius waited to be told where to go.

"Forget the blending in, boy!" Moody said to Remus. "Run, you fool! You three, out this way. No, Professors, you stay put. This is between me and them." Moody held the door open for the students and slammed it shut once Sirius had walked through.

"What have we done, Sir?" Lily asked cautiously as the group walked quickly through the halls.

"You've been downright careless, Evans," Moody growled without looking at her. He finally stopped at the end of a hallway. "Call him," he said to James.

"Sir?" James questioned.

"Don't play dumb with me, Potter," Moody said dangerously. "Call him!"

James pulled out his wand and whispered an incantation. A silver stag burst out of his wand and bounded away.

"Patronus with shape," Moody commented. "Been doing a bit of practicing, have we?"

James did not reply, seeing as Moody was not looking for one.

Remus and Peter came around the corner after what seemed like hours of awkward silence. "Sorry," Remus began, "It was hard to – "

"I'd report each and every one of you to Magical Law Enforcement if it weren't for your 'luck'," Moody cut Remus off.

"Luck, Mr. Moody?" Remus questioned.

Moody pulled a piece of parchment out of his pocket and flicked it open as he began pacing circles around the group of nervous students. "'_To you who reads this, I demand you pass on a warning to a few of the seventh years at Hogwarts.'"_ Moody paused. "Figured anything out yet? No? I'll continue! '_You are so very powerful, they could go so far! Yes, yes, I am aware of what you have done.' _Any of you want to tell me what you've done before I read on?"

Lily looked at James confusedly as he and his friends exchanged apprehensive expressions.

"What else did he say, Mr. Moody?" James asked quietly.

Moody snorted in aggravation. "_'You have proved your skills with legal magic such as the corporal Patronus, you have also gone underground. Your disguises will help you go far, if you only choose the side that will let you use them freely.'" _Moody shoved the letter back in his pocket. "There's more, but I'm sure even dunderheads like you can figure it out!"

James looked at his feet. "I knew he knew!"

"And just how did he come to know, Potter?" Moody snarled.

James straightened and looked the older man straight in the eye. "I don't know, sir. We've been careful with it!"

"What is 'it', James?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"I didn't think it was important…" James let his sentence trail.

"You don't know, Evans?" Moody queried. "I'll inform you, then. You're dating an illegal Animagus."

Lily jumped back from the entire group. "That's how you've done it? That's how you've been sneaking around the school all these years without getting caught?"

"Well, no," James said, scratching the back of his neck. "That's how we've been sneaking _out_ of school without getting caught…"

"What else haven't you told me?" Lily shrieked.

"Sort out this spat later," Moody commanded. "You're in the clear or the legal matters, Evans."

"You wouldn't turn us in!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I won't, but if you're not careful, someone else will," Moody growled. "Does anyone else know?"

"No!" James said firmly. "No one!"

"Keep it that way," Moody said. "As for the other matters, for God's sake, tone your showing off down!"

"We haven't been showing off," Remus defended.

"Obviously you have been or just as few people would know about your Animagus as the fact that you can form Patronuses," Moody quipped.

"How many people know we can perform the Patronus?" Lily asked, still on the other side of the hallway.

"The staff knows," Moody answered, "I know, the Order knows. Yes, I know you know about the Order too. So does _he_. Now you lot watch it! He's got people out looking and waiting to strike you, got it?"

"Got it, sir," chorused the four boys.

"Evans?" Moody asked, turning towards her.

"Has he really got people waiting to get us?" she questioned quietly.

"We've known for a while that he's been after us," James said. "Why is this a surprise?"

Professor McGonagall suddenly came around the corner. She surveyed the scene briefly before speaking. "Before you leave, Alastor," she said coldly, "Dumbledore wants to talk to you about the Prewetts."

"Tell him I don't know anything new," Moody said shortly. "Potter, Evans, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew, McGonagall," he said with a nod before power-walking away.

Lily shook her head and her eyes began to burn. "You promised me, James, that you wouldn't lie to me!"

"I didn't!" James said quickly. "You never asked!"

"I _did_ ask! I asked how the blazes you got around!"

"I didn't lie!"

"You said you couldn't tell me!"

"Because I _couldn't_!" James said, his voice rising.

"You could have!" Lily shouted. "But you didn't trust me!"

"Lily, let's try to calm down a – " Remus was cut off sharply.

"What else don't I know?" Lily snarled, glaring at each of the boys in turn.

James looked at his friends and sighed heavily. Sirius shrugged, Remus, nodded, and Peter looked far too terrified to give a decent response. "Walk with me, Lily," James requested somberly. He and his seething girlfriend walked out of sight.

After a pause, Sirius turned to his professor. "Young love," he gushed, "it never goes smoothly, does it?

"We'd tell you, Professor, but Moody's a bit scarier than you, let's be honest!" Sirius grinned in response to the ice-cold glare he was getting from his teacher.

"Have a happy Christmas, Professor!" Remus said cheerily before leading the way out of the hall at a jog.

McGonagall watched her students go, her suspicions screaming at her. What had Moody told them that he couldn't share with anyone else?

The professor hurried off; perhaps Moody had gone to talk to Dumbledore after all.

* * *

**Author's Note**

I'm really sorry for the waits getting longer, everyone. I am having less and less time to write, despite my efforts! Don't get too upset with me!

I also apologize if you were expecting some huge thing for chapter 100. I don't plan ahead like that.

Anyway! I still love reviews! 550 e-galleons for you if you click the green button!


	101. Chapter 101

_**ONE HUNDRED ONE**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn

* * *

**

**February… Quite possibly my favorite month of the year. **

_Blech._

Why is it ONLY February? This is getting ridiculous…

**February's a nice time!**

_Only after the sickening amount of pink decorations go away._

**What do you have against pink?**

_Nothing. I just don't like seeing it everywhere I turn. Especially when it spreads to my office…_

I believe you have your seventh year boys to thank for that.

_I know I do. _

And you aren't hunting them down?

_I have no need. They're in my class after lunch. _

Ah. They have to come to you.

_And I'll wipe the stupid grins off their faces. _

_If Miss Evans hasn't already._

She's in a daze. Potter's been bombarding her with gifts, one every day until the 14th.

_One might wander what he's expecting in return._

**My, my, my! Someone's in a VERY bad mood!**

_Stress does that to a person, you know. _

**I get stressed, too! Lashing out is not the solution.**

_I'd rather lash out than add to my midsection._

**What are you trying to say, Minerva?**

_Nothing, Horace!_

**I think that's a lie. **

_Oh, you caught me!_

_Oh, look! A scene of normality!_

Isn't it nice?

In a sense… 

I think it's rather nice. Amusing, too. I've missed it.

_Who have you been arguing with the past two months, Minerva? You've hardly snapped at Horace at all!_

She's been arguing with Alastor.

_Did I ask you, Pomona?_

No. But I answered anyway, and you can't fix the past.

_You argued with Alastor for two months straight, Minerva?_

_I admit nothing._

Which means yes.

_As I am aware. _

_Fine, you all win. I'm going away!_

Wait! I'm not through annoying you yet!

_Oh, oh no! My notebook is closing of its own accord! I can't stop it!_

Ha ha. I'll just pull one of your moves and get the Idiots to do something.

…

…

Dang it. She really did go away.

_Well… what shall we do now?_

I don't know. How's life been for you, Albus?

Life could be better. But one's life could always be worse. So I shall attempt to refrain from complaining. 

You're no fun.

I'm sorry.

_Class time!_

Your enthusiasm burns my soul.

_Over exaggeration!_

No, really. It hurts.

_Well, Professor Debbie Downer, I'm going to teach my class and try to enjoy myself. You do as you please._

I will!

* * *

_**Transfiguration**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

_**Lily

* * *

**_

_**James… are you 'expecting anything in return' on the 14**__**th**__**?**_

No, I'm not! McGonagall's just in a bad mood! You read! She's been arguing with Moody since Christmas! By the way, did you like the flowers?

_**I did. **_

**Awwee!**

_**Sirius, have I told you yet today that – **_

**That I'm a pain in the butt? Why, no, Miss Evans, you have not!**

_**You're a pain in the butt. **_

**Thanks. I work hard. **

_Does anyone else absolutely hate it when you get a song stuck in your head and it just won't go away?_

It depends on the song.

_Mozart's 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'._

Ouch… that hurts.

_Yeah, it does._

Watch it! McGonagall's coming over!

**No! She's coming to get her revenge for her office!

* * *

**

Professor McGonagall stopped in front of the group of seventh years that had managed to edge their desks into a close formation without her notice. "Might I ask what is so fascinating that it is distracting you from my lesson?"

"Nothing, Professor!" Sirius said with a smile. "Nothing ever thrills me more than a good Transfiguration lesson! It's the highlight of my week."

"Over kill!" James coughed.

Lily looked nervously at the paper under Sirius' forearms. They had quoted the Notebook. If McGonagall got a glimpse of their notes they would be in more trouble than ever before.

Professor McGonagall followed Lily's eyes. "Move your desk back to where it's supposed to be, Mr. Black, if you don't mind."

"Certainly, Professor!" Sirius said brightly. Without moving his arms off his desk, Sirius moved his workspace back to its original spot with much noise. Several of his classmates rubbed their ears.

McGonagall frowned in displeasure. Sirius had found a way around doing as she'd hoped he would: moving his arms. "How do you expect to take notes with your paper covered?"

Sirius looked down at his desk thoughtfully for a moment, then shrugged. "I'll copy Remus' later."

Remus put his head down on his desk as his teacher looked at him disapprovingly.

"I don't think you understand," McGonagall said, her voice getting snappier. "Give me the notes you've been passing."

"Uh… uh…" Sirius said, beginning to panic. In one quick movement, Sirius tore off the top of the paper under his arms, shoved it in his mouth, chewed briefly, and swallowed. He held the rest of the paper out to his waiting teacher. "Here you are, Professor!"

A disgusted look on her face, McGonagall plucked what was left out of Sirius' hand and put it on her desk before returning to the blackboard and resuming the lesson.

Sirius rubbed his stomach and looked over at James and Lily. "I know what _I'm _giving you two tomorrow!"

"I didn't tell you to eat the ink-covered paper, Stupid!" Lily hissed as James shrugged.

"You owe me!" Sirius croaked, putting his head down on his desk and rolling it from side to side. Without looking up, he raised his hand. "Professor, can I go see Madame Pomfery?"

"Perhaps you should have thought your plan all the way through, Mr. Black!" McGonagall said without turning around from her board.

Sirius groaned. He slid out of his chair noiselessly to the floor and lay on his stomach. Little did he know that at the end of class his professor would rudely awaken him from his nap with a heavy foot landing an inch away from his nose.

* * *

**Author's Note**

I apologize for any typos/stupid mistakes. I, quite literally, _just_ wrote this. Yes, I am that behind.

As saying 'sorry' for making you all wait a whole month between the last update and now, I shall reward reviewers qith 1,000 e-galleons! That's right! Three zeros! :D

I'll try to update again before a month goes by!


	102. Chapter 102

**IMPORTANT!!!** If you do not remember who Dennis Stringfellow is, please go back and read chapter seventy three now! This chapter will make much more sense if you do. Seriously, it's not worth it to read this one and then go back to 73. Go back to 73 now.

* * *

_**One Hundred Two**_

"Hogsmeade, here we come!" Sirius said with glee, bounding out of the school.

"Weren't we just there last night?" Remus asked, putting on his gloves.

"It's more fun when everyone's there," Sirius said. "There are more people to annoy. Like this kid here!" Sirius pointed at Lily as she came out the door.

"If you even try to mess with me today, Sirius, I will bring you serious harm," Lily snarled.

"Is it someone's time of the month?" Sirius asked. "You aren't normally so snappy, Evans!"

"How I wish there was snow," Lily muttered darkly as she mimed throwing something at Sirius.

"Oh! Me too!" exclaimed Peter. "I miss making snow angels!"

"I prefer making snow balls," Sirius commented. "They're much more fun."

"Only when you're the one throwing them," Remus said sourly.

"Are you still upset over me nailing you in the side of the face, Moony?" James asked as he jammed his hat onto his head. "Honestly, that was four days ago. I've done worse before."

"Let's get going," Lily suggested. "It's cold, I need to move."

"Do you know what's sad?" Sirius asked his friends as they walked. "We won't get to see Dennis' first visit. We should have snuck him in with us this time!"

"No, Sirius, we shouldn't have!" Lily snapped. "We aren't even supposed to be going. The only reason we are is because you pulled a double negative on Dumbledore and McGonagall."

"That was one of his greatest moments, Lily!" James exclaimed.

"That was one of his dumbest moments," Lily retorted. "I like Hogsmeade, but who knows what kind of danger we're bringing with us?"

"There's probably half a dozen Aurors in every shop, Lily," James said. "Voldemort's not going to risk it."

"Speaking of Aurors," Peter said quietly, "Mr. Moody's here…"

"No!" Sirius whined. "He's going to tail us!"

As Sirius began to complain, Professor McGonagall rushed past the group. "Alastor!" she called. "I'm glad you're here. We've got a bit of a problem."

"So have I, Minerva," Moody growled. "I'm sure this other one can wait."

"No, it cannot," McGonagall barked. "It's about the Prewetts!"

Moody's face darkened. "What kind of shenanigans have they gotten themselves into now?"

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief as Moody began walking with McGonagall. "Looks like we won't be tailed after all! Good old Prewetts save the day again!"

"He wouldn't have followed us in the first place, Sirius," Lily pointed out. "And the Prewetts didn't 'save the day.' They're in trouble!"

"Nah," James said. "Gideon and Fabian are geniuses. …Genii? What's the correct plural form of that word?"

Lily scoffed. "I hope you don't think you're invincible."

"Of course not!" James said quickly. "If I were invincible would I really have spent half my school career in detention?"

"There's a point," Lily admitted.

James smiled smugly. "I win."

"Think what you'd like, James," Lily said haughtily.

"We are officially in Hogsmeade… now!" Sirius said happily taking a step over the boundary. "Let's mosey on over to the Three Broomsticks!"

"You guys go ahead," James said. "Let's go for a walk, Lily!"

"James, it's freezing!" Lily said, her teeth beginning to chatter as a gust of wind hit her.

"Come on, it'll be fun! Remus, you don't really need your jacket, do you?" James asked.

"That's a stupid question, Prongs," Remus said briskly. "But if McGonagall sees me without it…"

"Don't get seen, then," James said with a smile.

Remus sighed, but pulled his jacket off and handed it to Lily.

"Are you sure you don't need it, Remus?" Lily asked.

"The cold doesn't bother me at all," Remus said with a nod. "Take it. Have fun, and don't get lost."

"Alright," Lily said to James as Sirius, Remus, and Peter walked away. "Where are we going?"

"I dunno," James said. "Let's go this way!"

Lily sighed, but followed James. "So what's the deal? You never want to go on walks."

James shrugged. "Well, the end of the year's coming up and all. I thought it'd be nice to just talk a bit."

Lily chuckled. "Come on, James! What do you want to ask?"

"I just want to know what you want to do after graduation," James said, kicking a small rock out of his way.

"I thought we were going to see about joining the Order," Lily said.

James smiled and looked at Lily. "Then we will!"

Lily grinned back at James. "Can you imagine how disappointed McGonagall will be when she still has to see us on a regular basis?"

"Disappointed?" James asked in a hurt voice.

"Well, yeah," Lily answered. "Sirius is coming, isn't he?"

James laughed. "Yeah, he is. I see your point."

"Awe, how cute!" said a new voice.

James jumped, pulled out his wand, and stood defensively in front of Lily. "Who's there?" he demanded.

"Jeez, James!" said the voice again. "It's only me!" Dennis Stringfellow appeared out of no where.

"You little twirp!" James said irritably, pocketing his wand. "Did you take my Invisibility Cloak?"

"Oh, is this yours?" Dennis asked, holding up James' cloak.

"Dennis!" Lily chastised. "You shouldn't be here! Go back to school!"

"After I worked so hard to get out of it?" Dennis asked. "Come on, I just want to see the 'Shrieking Shack.' I heard it's haunted!"

James looked over at Lily, who was still glaring at the second year. "Alright, fine. Just stay behind us and if we go back into the main town, put the cloak back on, you got it?"

"Yes, sir!" Dennis said, folding the cloak around his arm. "Lead the way, Mr. Potter!"

"James," Lily hissed as they began walking, "tell him to go back!"

"He just wants to see the Shack, Lily," James said quietly. "I'll send him back after."

"Did you all show him how to get out of the school?!" Lily raged at a whisper.

"He followed us once last year," James admitted.

"Do you see why I got on your case all the time? Now look at what you've done!"

"I didn't do anything!"

"You gave an example!"

"How was I supposed to know he was following us? That kid is sneaky!"

"You shouldn't have gone in the first – " Lily was cut off as a beam of light soared past her ear.

James grabbed Lily and pulled her behind a large rock. Dennis joined them just a second after. "Dennis, you put that cloak on and go back to school _now_!" James commanded.

"Do you want me to go to Dumbledore?" Dennis asked.

"Don't worry about it! Just get back!" James said as he pulled out his wand. He poked his head over the top of the rock and quickly pulled it back down as another beam of light came at him.

Lily pulled out her wand and looked at James. After a moment she nodded. "Go back, Dennis," she said before she and James ran out from behind the rock to another one.

James kneeled down heavily behind his and Lily's new hiding spot. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I'm thinking we should have stayed in the main town," Lily said uneasily.

"Me too," James gasped. "On three?"

Lily nodded. "One… Two… Three. Go!" She and James darted across the open field of grass for a few seconds before slamming themselves against a large tree.

The couple heard a loud, high shriek of laughter. "Look at them run! Are the poor wittle seventh years scared?" asked a woman in a baby voice. "Come out and play!"

James poked his head around the tree briefly. "Bellatrix LeStrange," he breathed.

"Call Sirius! The other students need to get out of Hogsmeade! Tell him to get McGonagall!" Lily suggested.

James heard a distant pop. "What was that?"

Before Lily could respond, another pop came from around the tree. The couple listened intently as they heard the sound of feet crunching over dead leaves.

"Boo!" Bellatrix LeStrange jumped out, wand pointed at Lily. "_Incar_ – "

"_Protego!_" Lily shouted.

James grabbed Lily's wrist and turned on the spot. He held on tightly to his girlfriend's hand as he felt the unfamiliar sensation of being pushed through a rubber tube. He took a refreshing breath as he and Lily landed behind a rock. Apparation took getting used to.

"Oh, no! Oh, no!" Lily kept repeating.

"Lily!" James said suddenly, grabbing her face. "Lily, do you like me?"

"James, is this really the – "

"Answer!" James demanded.

"Yes!" Lily answered.

"Lily, do you love me?"

"James!"

"Lily, answer!" James said hurriedly.

"Yes," Lily said.

"Lily, if we get out of this alive, will you marry me?" James asked, searching his girlfriend's eyes.

"Yes," Lily answered after a moment of shock. "I will."

James quickly kissed Lily on the lips and then let go of her face. "We'll have to apparate in," he said.

"Alright," Lily said, trying to sound confident. "You lead," she requested, grabbing James' hand.

James turned, concentrating on the exact place he wanted to land. He hit his target.

"I told you I could get them to come," Bellatrix said with glee.

Lily looked around in horror as she found herself surrounded by black robed figures. She kept her hand tightly interlocked with James'.

"You have done well, Bellatrix," said a high-pitched voice calmly.

James looked at Voldemort, or what he assumed was Voldemort. What began walking toward him and Lily hardly looked human. It was marble white, red-eyed, and merely skin and bone. James put himself between Lily and Voldemort. "Fancy seeing you in Hogsmeade," he said bravely.

Voldemort sneered. "Feeling heroic today, Potter?" he hissed.

"Not particularly," James admitted. He squeezed Lily's hand. She squeezed back. "But I will play the part of a hero if need be."

"You silly Gryffindors," said Voldemort, "always thinking everyone deserves to be saved. Thinking everyone is equal."

"Everyone _is_ equal," Lily said aggressively.

"Oh, look at this one!" Bellatrix chortled. "'Everyone's equal,' says the Mudblood!"

"Don't call her a Mudblood!" James shouted.

"Blood traitor!" Bellatrix spat at James.

James took a deep breath, squeezed Lily's hand once more, and pointed at Voldemort. "What about him? Have you got a name for half-bloods?" James saw Voldemort puff up with anger and begin twirling his wand. At the last moment, just as Voldemort was making the final cut through the air, James released Lily's hand and turned. He was grateful to hear the second crack of Lily apparating.

James landed behind a robed figure. "_Stupefy!_" He turned once again as the figure fell to the floor.

The seventh year hit ground once more. This time the figure was waiting for him, wand poised. James threw the first curse. Hardly any time passed at all before James realized just how dirty the Death Eaters played. He was attempting to protect himself from no less than three. All he could do was apparate, throw a spell, and apparate over and over again.

Lily was in a situation quite similar to James'. Her anger built and built, nearly reaching breaking point as she saw Voldemort, the mastermind of the attack, merely watching the scene before him.

"James!" She shouted between her moments of apparating, "Call them!"

"_Expecto Patronum!_" James' voice yelled from across the room. Lily caught sight of a silver stag bounding out of the room.

Lily slashed her wand through the air, blasting a Death Eater back into a wall. With her spare second of time she sent out her Patronus.

* * *

"Where do you think the lovebirds are?" Sirius asked Remus as they walked through the streets of Hogsmeade.

"I'm more concerned about where Peter went, actually," Remus said.

"Oh, you were in the bathroom when that happened," Sirius said to himself.

"When what happened?" Remus asked, suspicion rising.

"Our dear Wormtail started feeling a bit queasy. Madame Rosmerta made him go back to the school."

"He's been sick a lot lately," Remus commented. "I wonder why none of us have caught what he's got?"

"It's probably something only a rat can get," Sirius said with a shrug.

"Would you mind keeping your voice down, Mutt?" Remus asked.

"Only if you keep yours down, Moony!"

"Mine is down!" Remus hissed.

"Whatever you say, Mr. Moony!" Sirius conceded.

"Hey," Remus said, nudging Sirius. "Is that - ?"

"Yeah, that is," Sirius confirmed.

"What's he sending his Patronus through the street for? Moody's here! He'll kill us!"

The silver stag stopped directly in front of Sirius and Remus. Before the stag opened its mouth, a silver doe raced past. Sirius followed the doe with his eyes and saw it stop in front of Professor McGonagall and Moody. At once, the two deer opened their mouths.

"_You could be great! There is no equality, no sides. There is power, and you have it!" _

Chills went down Remus' back as he heard the voice. He knew who it was.

The voice continued, _"Join me, and you can use your power to its fullest extent!"_

"_Never!" _shrieked the voice of Lily.

"_Lily! No!"_ James yelled. The sound of cracks and chaos ensued.

"_Filthy Mudblood!" _came the voice of Bellatrix LeStrange as all other noise stopped. _"You dare make an attack on the Dark Lord? You ought to be bowing down and begging for mercy! Crucio!"_

Lily's blood-curdling screams filled the streets of Hogsmeade and the stag and doe disappeared into the wind.

"No!" Remus shouted. "No, no, no, no, no! This is not happening!" He and Sirius took off down the street as fast as their legs would carry them.

"Black! Lupin!" called a voice from close behind.

"No time to stop, Professor!" Sirius said over his shoulder.

"Sirius! Sirius! Through the woods! It'll be faster!" Remus instructed, pointing at the thicket of trees.

"Alastor!" McGonagall snapped as she and Moody continued running. "How did this happen?!"

"I don't know, Minerva! The whole town's supposed to be secure!" Moody said irritably.

"It obviously isn't! Whose fault is that?"

"When I find out I'll kill them!"

McGonagall looked ahead to see Sirius and Remus pop out of the forest and run straight at the Shrieking Shack. Both boys turned and disappeared. The teacher let out several choice words before apparating herself.

The scene that met McGonagall horrified her. Her students were fighting no less than a dozen Death Eaters. Enraged, she threw a spell at the figure closest to her.

Sirius made a beeline to his target. "Oy!" he called. "Trixie! I've been calling dibs on you for a long time!"

Bellatrix turned and snarled at her cousin. _"Avada Kedavra!"_

Sirius dove out of the way and was pleased to see the curse hit another Death Eater. He jumped off the floor and took great joy in dueling with his cousin.

Remus unleashed all the power he had within himself. He truly felt his beast senses take over as he ruthlessly shot spell after spell after spell, slamming several people into walls as he darted about. He saw it as his personal responsibility to make sure his friends stayed alive.

James stayed glued to his shaking and weakened girlfriend's side, almost continually apparating while keeping his grip tight around Lily's hand. He shot a spell and concentrated on moving across the room. He turned and merely fell over. James quickly picked himself up, pulling Lily with him.

"I tire of this battling nonsense," Voldemort drawled. James looked around to see Voldemort had constructed a bubble around the small group, allowing no one in or out. "Choose me or death."

"I won't work for such a selfish snake as you!" James spat.

"Death!" Lily said firmly.

"What a shame it is to waste such talented blood," Voldemort said, raising his wand.

"I thought my blood was worthless," Lily snarled.

"_Avada Ked – "_

"_Expelliarmus!"_ Lily cried. No longer able to apparate, she and James began running about, trying to dodge Voldemort's furious spells. The two students and the darkest wizard alive began weaving in and out of each other, firing curse after jinx after hex.

James was not sure whether to be overjoyed or terrified as more cracks sounded in the Shack; it could mean the arrival of more Death Eaters or the arrival of the Order. He threw the thought aside and became absolutely overcome with hate and anger as Voldemort's killing curse missed Lily by a quarter of an inch. _"Crucio!" _he shouted as loud as he could.

The spell missed Voldemort, who turned slowly to face James. "Did you just try an Unforgiveable, boy?" he hissed. Without looking, he immobilized Lily, who had been creeping toward him. "You're more like us than you think." Voldemort's eyes scanned around the outside of the bubble he created. He sneered at James and disappeared.

James quickly turned, wand still at the ready. He witnessed any black robed figures left standing disappear with their master. James turned toward Lily. _"Enneverate!"_

Lily stood up, chest heaving. "That _ba_ – "

"James! Lily!" Sirius cried, cutting Lily off. He ran at the pair and engulfed them in a huge hug, Remus not far behind.

"What the _hell_ were you thinking?" a voice shrieked.

The four teenagers broke up their hug and turned toward their red-faced and furious Transfiguration professor.

"You two came in here and _knew_ what was waiting! You aren't even supposed to be around here! You're out of bounds!" McGonagall continued yelling.

"No!" Lily suddenly gasped. "James! Dennis!"

James and Lily shared a look of complete terror. Lily grabbed James' arm and the pair disappeared with a crack. Sirius and Remus quickly followed.

Professor McGonagall's mouth was agape. "Did they really just do that?"

"Edgar, you got them?" Moody asked, turning toward a small group of people.

"We've got them," said Edgar Bones. He pointed his wand at a fallen black robe. Rope soared through the air and wrapped around the unconscious figure on the floor.

Moody nodded, turned, and was gone. McGonagall followed.

The two adults walked toward the three Hogwarts students standing in a semi-circle in the middle of the open field. As they made it closer, McGonagall could see Lily Evans kneeling on the grass. Her curiosity grew and she picked up pace. A moment later her legs refused to move further.

Dennis Stringfellow lay on the ground, half covered with a cloak, eyes gazing blankly up at the sky, his chest neither rising nor falling.

* * *

**Author's Note**

Those of you who didn't go back to 73, do you regret it yet?

I apologize if the chapter seems choppy or if there are mistakes in there. I am still really behind on my writing. Besides that, this idea has been in my head for AGES! I was really excited to write it, hence the choppiness... if it is in there.

I shall trade you 700 e-galleons for a review! Please leave one!


	103. Chapter 103

_**One Hundred Three**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn

* * *

**

It's official. All Hogsmeade visits are hereby canceled. 

Good.

_Whatever happened to the second permission forms we were going to send out?_

_The Ministry thought it wasn't necessary. They were never even written, much less sent out. _

_Oh, dear… _

_Yes, of course they've offered their apologies now. Scumbags. They think they know what's going on here better than we do!_

Getting upset won't help anything.

_Too late. I am upset!_

Now is not the time to divide with anger. We all have to come together and stand as a front.

_I'll work with them when they stop being so stupid and irresponsible! Hogwarts should not be the Ministry's plaything! It is a school full of rather defenseless children that need more guidance than they think._

**Not all the students are defenseless, as has been proven. If I may say so myself, the sev – **

_Don't you dare bring that up, Horace!_

_It's been weeks, Minerva. Not talking about it won't make anyone come back. _

_I'm well aware of that, Filius, thank you._

_After all, he was a very capable student. Dennis was simply –

* * *

_

_**Gryffindor Common Room**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

_**Lily

* * *

**_

_I can't read anymore. _

_**Neither can I.**_

At least his service was nice…

At least we were allowed to go.

_**You aren't starting this again, are you, James?**_

What else am I supposed to do? I shouldn't have been allowed to go!

_**It wasn't your fault!**_

Yes it was! I should have told him to go back sooner! I shouldn't have ever shown him my cloak! I should have –

_**We both know Dennis could get you to do whatever he wanted. It was on me to get him back.**_

**We aren't going to play the blame game. And even if we were, you're doing it wrong. Stop it. **

_**What do you want us to do? Just leave it up in the air? It wasn't anyone's fault? Dennis was just at the wrong place at the wrong time?**_

**No. I want you to put it behind you. There isn't anything you can do to fix it. **

_**We're responsible for Dennis' death!**_

**People are dying every day, Evans! And more people are going to if we keep saying 'no' to Voldemort! In events like this you keep your head up and keep going. Things will only get worse.**

Thanks for playing Mr. Optimism, Sirius.

**I'm not trying to play anyone. I'm trying to get you in the mindset! Did you really think that we'd graduate and then just go own every Death Eater we cross paths with without any sort of… of… **

_Retaliation?_

**Not quite…**

_Repercussion?_

**That's it! Without any repercussions?**

What did Trixie say to you, Sirius?

**Don't worry about it.**

I'm going to worry about it! You're my best mate!

**She was spouting her usual pure blood mania. Nothing out of the ordinary.**

She said something else!

_**I agree! I haven't ever seen you like this, Sirius!**_

**Yeah, Hogsmeade changed me a bit!**

_It changed all of us. Let's try to make something good out of it rather than dwell on the bad. You read what Dumbledore said: Now is not the time to divide with anger. We have to come together and stand as a front._

I think our front is missing a link.

_Then we'll patch it up and go as best as we can._

**Please fasten your seatbelts and brace yourselves.**

_**Is this really the sort of thing we're going to have to go through all the time? I don't think I can take it…**_

**Learn to adapt.**

_**I don't know if I can. **_

We can't see the thestrals yet. We'll keep moving.

_**I hope I never see a thestral.**_

**I can tell you right now that you'll be seeing them soon.**

Why's that, Sirius?

**Because I can see them already.**

_**What?!**_

**Trixie's spell missed me and hit her buddy. I watched. **

_**Oh, Sirius!**_

Blimey, why didn't you tell us?

**It's not important. **

_What do you mean, 'not important?'_

**The spell didn't hit me, did it? So why does it matter?**

I don't want to die…

Well, Pete, hopefully we'll live to a ripe old age and die peacefully in our sleep.

**How picture perfect that sounds.**

Don't you scoff at me!

**I decided I won't bother planning on getting old. **

_**Don't you start putting ideas in everyone's heads, Sirius!**_

**Did I say anything, Lily?**

_**You implied that you plan on dying young!**_

**Plan? Not necessarily. I just don't anticipate making it to be too terribly old. **

_Let's agree that we won't ever manage to make it to Dumbledore's age, but let's not jump to conclusions either. Our story is still being written._

Really? You're going all philosophical on us?

_I wasn't trying to, but I certainly can!_

No, really, that's quite alright!

_It is my opinion that – _

Hey! Lily! Do you remember –

McGonagall at three o'clock!

**Ah. She's not going to do anything.**

She looks like hell, too.

_**Gee, James! I wonder why that is!**_

No need to get all sarcastic on me.

_**If I unleashed the full power of my sarcasm, you'd know. **_

I think you've gotten pretty close to there before.

**Can you give me a second? Before this whole gushy couple thing begins I think I want to go get rid of my lunch.**

_**Don't get lost on your journey.**_

**You say something's wrong with me!**

_**Huh?**_

**Am I not a pain in the butt today?**

_**Oddly enough, I think I'm relieved you're still around. **_

Weird, isn't it?

_Indeed it is! You spend all this time thinking about how fantastic you life would be without him messing it up all the time, then you almost lose him and things change completely. _

**Hey, I was handling myself just fine. It was you all I was concerned about. **

…**Oh my gosh… Did I just admit that? I need to go see Madam Pomfery. Something really is wrong!**

I'm glad you're still here, Sirius.

_**I'm glad all of you are still here. **_

**Oh no… I started a black hole of gooey, gushy, share-your-emotions-ness.**

_I'll say it. I'm quite pleased that I didn't have to watch one of your funerals. _

I like people being on this side of the grass.

**I suppose you all leave me with no other option. So I'll say it. I'm very, very happy to still have my best mates around. Evans, too, I suppose. **

_**Gee, thanks. I feel honored. **_

Hey, McGonagall's really looking at us now. I think she's close to taking the paper from us.

_**Give it here. I want frame Sirius' statement. **_

**As long as no one else ever sees it. I'll deny it under oath.**

That's upsetting, Padfoot.

_It really is. _

I'm thinking we should put it in the Great Hall during dinner. What about you, Moony?

_I agree, Prongs. Do you think you can manage that, Lily?_

_**Oh, most certainly, Moony!**_

Hold up! If you're going to start calling us our Marauder names, we're going to have to come up with one for you!

_**Then I take it back!**_

No, I'll come up with one.

_**What did I get myself into?

* * *

**_**Author's Note**

...You know, I sat here for a few minutes trying to think of a different way to say it, but I have just decided: screw it. This is your early Christmas present! You don't celebrate Christmas? It's your early... or maybe even on time present! you don't celebrate? What's up wichu? Eh? Anyway, I'll be traveling tomorrow and am busy the next few days. So this is it!

Hey! Speaking of "this is it," I have finished writing this story. Yes, yes. The Teachers' Notebook is drawing to a close. We'll have more on that later, though. I just felt as though I should give you warning!

I love reviews more than rainbows and leprechauns! Trade you 500 e-galleons and an e-quill for one!


	104. Chapter 104

_**One Hundred Four**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn

* * *

**

_Someone remind me why we bother with detentions._

It makes us look like we're doing something?

_I don't think it's worth it anymore._

Agreed. They only have three months left, no?

_Three months? Wow… what will we do without them?_

We'll throw a massive party.

I think things will actually be fairly boring… They have so much character.

Yeah, they really add a lot to the school. It's time for them to go add their character somewhere else.

Don't count on them going very far away, Pomona.

…Oh, no! What have you done?

I haven't done anything!

What are you planning on doing?

I'm not planning on doing anything. Well, that's a bit of a lie, I suppose…

Minerva, what's he planning?

_I don't know. Retirement?_

Heavens, no! I wouldn't be able to handle being retired.

_One can wish._

**Oh, dear… the tyrant within is beginning to break out once more…**

_Horace, do you really want to push it?_

**Hold on, let me think…**

_You can do that?_

**Yes, I think I do want to push it!**

_Oh… BAD idea!_

**I've locked up my crystallized pineapple! Do your worst!**

_I will. After I've finished this detention._

_Horace, pack up and run for it._

**I'll do no such thing! I, Horace Slughorn, will stand my ground!**

Are you sure the ground can hold you?

**I really don't appreciate all these jokes about my pudginess.**

Pudginess?

**Yes!**

I'm not going to inquire further.

_I think that was very wise of you, Pomona!_

_Perhaps we should talk to Horace about –

* * *

_

"What are you writing, Professor?"

Professor McGonagall jumped as the voice sounded over her shoulder. She closed her notebook and turned to look at Sirius Black. "I believe, Mr. Black, that the floor I assigned you to scrub is _not_ behind my desk!"

"I like going above and beyond expectations," Sirius said with an annoying smile.

"Why don't you try going 'above and beyond expectations' with your homework?" McGonagall suggested.

"That requires too much effort from this thing here," Sirius said, pointing to his head. "I'm more of a physical labor kind of person."

"Just go back over to your corner, Black!" McGonagall snapped.

"It's dark over there, Professor!" Sirius whined.

McGonagall thought about suggesting a candle, then realized that would not be one of her best ideas. "I believe you're capable of handling it."

"You really aren't any fun anymore, Professor," Sirius sighed, getting up and moving back to where he was supposed to be.

"Hey, wolf!" James snapped, "You're crossing the line! This here's _my_ floor!"

"Sorry, Bambi," Remus said sarcastically. "I wasn't aware of the seriousness of the situation."

McGonagall looked over her glasses at Remus. "Why are you even here, Lupin? I'm fairly certain I didn't give you or Mr. Pettigrew detention."

"You didn't," Peter said. He began sounding more excited as he continued speaking, "But we came down because James – "

"Get's lonely during detention sometimes!" Sirius said loudly over Peter.

"Is that what he told you?" Remus said amusedly.

"Well what'd he tell you?" Sirius asked defensively.

"Don't worry about it," Remus said carelessly.

"Hey, wolf," Sirius said, standing up and throwing down his sponge. "What's going on, eh?"

Remus leaned back on his heels and sighed. "Do you really want to start a battle you know you'll lose, Mutt?"

"I'm a pro at it!" Sirius claimed.

"Fine," Remus said. "If you must know, Prongs lied to you. He got a wee bit tired of detention with you alone. Things are more interesting when it's not just you."

"I'm plenty interesting!" Sirius boasted. "Prongs! ...Prongs?"

McGonagall made the effort to look up. James was gone. "Where'd Potter go?" she snapped at the remaining young men.

"I dunno," Sirius said unconvincingly.

"He must have shrunk!" Peter exclaimed.

"Oh no!" Sirius shouted. "Quick! Start looking, and make sure you don't step on him!" He and his friends began scouring the floor, making sure to watch their step.

"If you don't find him in five minutes, you're all in a lot of trouble," McGonagall said seriously. She glanced at her watch and returned to her paperwork.

* * *

**Let's travel back just a few minutes, shall we?

* * *

**

"Why are you even here, Lupin? I'm fairly certain I didn't give you or Mr. Pettigrew detention." James heard the words leave McGonagall's mouth and quickly looked at the clock. He caught the eyes of Remus and Sirius. Remus nodded and Sirius smiled briefly.

James waited until McGonagall got tired of paying attention to the argument. She dropped her gaze down to her papers and he slipped out the door. James meandered down the hall, whistling, waiting.

Always at the height of punctuality, Lily walked around the corner at the exact same time as always. "James! You're supposed to be - "

"McGonagall let us out early," James said carelessly.

"Then where are the rest of the 'Marauders'?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"Ok, so I lied," James admitted. "But I knew you'd be here, and I wanted to talk to you."

"What's with you and suddenly wanting to talk all the time?" Lily asked.

"Aren't girls supposed to want to talk?" James queried. "I think we switched roles here."

"They aren't switched," Lily said. "You're instigating the conversation and I'm merely confused."

"We're getting side tracked!" James pointed out.

"We?" Lily asked with a scoff.

"Do you remember the Shack incident?"

"James," Lily said with disappointment. "I won't ever be able to forget it."

"Right," James said, starting to shift his weight. "Stupid question." He scratched the back of his neck.

Lily lowered herself a bit to look at James' down turned face. "James, what's wrong?"

James cleared his throat and regained his normal posture. "Do you remember the questions I asked you? I remember. I remember your answers, too."

Lily's face went blank.

"I asked three of them."

Lily opened and closed her mouth a few times, but no sound came out.

"Lily, do you like me?" James asked.

Lily nodded. "Yes," she said weakly.

"Lily, do you love me?"

"Yes," Lily answered, her voice beginning to come back.

James dropped onto one knee. "Lily, if I don't get killed by McGonagall when I go back to detention, will you marry me?"

Lily could not help but laugh. "Yes!"

Smiling, James dug into his pocket and pulled out something shiny. "Sorry not to give you the pleasure of opening a fancy box," he said.

"It's fine," Lily said, grinning widely as James put the ring on her finger. "Oh," she gasped, looking at it. "It's gorgeous!"

"And I bet you'll be the only one in the school to have one. How's that for a really late Christmas/ Valentine's Day present?" James asked, smiling.

"Oh, no!" Lily said, though she laughed. "What will Mum and Dad say?"

James blew on his nails and rubbed them on his robes. "Already taken care of!"

"James!" Lily squealed with glee. She threw her arms around him. "When did you talk to them?"

"I've been sending them owls for weeks!"

A loud whistle sounded through the halls.

"What's that mean?" Lily asked.

"That means that if I don't get back there soon McGonagall's going to come find me," James said unhappily. "Come on! The look on her face will be hilarious!" James began tugging on Lily's arm.

"Are you serious?" Lily queried.

"Of course I'm serious!" James said with glee.

As the couple got closer to the Transfiguration classroom, Lily covered her eyes with her free hand and allowed James to continue pulling her along. She peeked through her fingers when James suddenly halted to discover they were just outside the door of the classroom. James knocked three times and kicked once. As the door opened, Lily covered her eyes once more.

"Now presenting," said Sirius in a loud, booming voice, "the future Mr. and Mrs. James 'Prongs' Potter!"

Lily could no long resist. She looked through her fingers once more.

Professor McGonagall had dropped her quill, though her hand was still poised to write. One eyebrow was raised as she looked at the couple with an unreadable expression.

"What do you think, Professor? Didn't I pick out a nice rock?" James asked, bringing Lily's left hand up into more light.

Professor McGonagall only raised her other eyebrow in response.

* * *

**Author's Note**

Oh, isn't this a nice chapter to start the year off with?

I shall trade you... 600 e-galleons for a review! But wait! If you review in the next seven minutes you'll recieve a complimentary bottle of scented ink! That's a 7-galleon value, yours free! Just clock the green button!


	105. Chapter 105

_**One Hundred Five**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn

* * *

**

_Potter and Evans are engaged!_

WHAT?!

_ENGAGED!_

…They're going to get married?

_That is what engaged means!_

**It's about time!**

_Horace, they're seventeen!_

**Legal adults. **

_Except they're SEVENTEEN!_

**I say love has no age restriction.**

Student fiancés… This hasn't happened since Cornelius proposed to Aurelia in 44!

…_Didn't he kill her when she was six months pregnant? And then kill himself after his trial?_

Good thing Evans isn't pregnant! …Is she?

_Don't make me worry more than I already am, Pomona!_

_Why are you being such a downer? This is cause for celebration!_

What, Evans' possible pregnancy?

_Would you cut it out?_

Only messing with you, Minerva! I just couldn't pass up such a perfect opportunity!

_Yeah right, you 'couldn't pass it up.'_

_What else were we expecting, really? Potter had been after Evans for years! _

I quite approve of the match. I would have, of course, preferred for them to wait to become engaged until after graduation, but this works just as well! I do think I'll have to congratulate them.

**A spot of light in a dark time! That's what this is! Be joyful!**

_I am happy! I'm just surprised and concerned that they rushed things._

Nah. People thought Arthur and Molly Weasley rushed things. Look at them!

_Fantastic example, Pomona! Here's to the future Mr. and Mrs. Potter! May they grow to be old and prosperous!_

_Fantastic toast, Filius. Pity there's no drink to go with it._

_There is if you're in the staffroom, as I am!_

**PARTY!**

_Oh, look at what you've done!_

_Don't complain! Join!_

_Let me know when Horace passes out. Then I'll join._

Let's time it, shall we? Last time it only took fifteen minutes!

_Well he's down here now…_

Timer starts… now!

_I think that's the fastest he's ever moved anywhere!_

Must we always be so unkind?

_Unkind? I was complimenting his speed!_

That's what it looked like.

_Cleverly disguised, wasn't it?_

No.

_Well… I gave up trying a while ago. _

Is he still standing, Filius?

_I'd give him ten, fifteen minutes tops._

Fantastic! That's not long at all.

_It's not him besting his record, either._

Oh, there will be plenty other opportunities for him to do that.

_Now he's giggling at everything…_

Then I'll start heading over. It won't be long at all, now!

_I'll give it another five minutes, just to be on the safe side._

Is anyone else aware that the discovery of this notebook would lead to the entire staff's destruction?

Then let's hope it's never discovered!

* * *

_**Gryffindor Common Room**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

_**Lily

* * *

**_

**James, Lily's not pregnant, is she?**

Of course not, stupid! We're engaged, not married!

**I had to make sure, you know.**

Why don't you go take a flea bath?

_Sirius, you really are annoying sometimes._

**I try very hard, you know. It's not easy, coming up with all the smart remarks I do.**

_Then give up!_

**NEVER!**

**Oh, look! Here comes James' shiny rock!**

_**Let's go to the Owlery!**_

**Are you serious, Evans? …Oh, dear… who knows how much longer I'll be able to call you that?**

_**Yes, I am serious, Sirius! Come on!**_

_Lily, it's one in the morning! What do you need to go to the Owlery for?_

_**To send letters to Alice and Petunia, duh!**_

Petunia? Didn't what's-his-face threaten to break your neck if you contacted them again?

_**Vernon can go shove his head down a toilet! I have my own man to protect me from him, now! I'll send Petunia a letter if I want to!**_

Isn't Vernon quite a bit… heftier than I am?

_**He moves about as fast as Slughorn. I think you can take him.**_

Petunia, though. She sounds like a bit of a challenge.

_**Just show her your wand and she'll scurry away like a mouse!**_

Lily, you make me laugh. Let's go down to the Owlery tomorrow, before breakfast. Certain people will get… concerned… if they see us sneaking about.

_**Oh, gracious! What'd the staff say?**_

Uh… They said something about some guy that proposed to his girlfriend while they were still in school in 1944…

**And then Sprout began wondering if you were pregnant…**

_**WHAT?!**_

_She was only messing with McGonagall, Sirius._

_**Oh, is SHE going to regret that joke!**_

Ah ah ah ah! Sprout can't find out that you know about that.

_**We've only got three months left, does it really matter?**_

I'd like to see it to the end of those three months, if you don't mind!

_**I WILL get Sprout before I leave this school.**_

**THERE'S A MARAUDER'S FIANCE!!!**

Yup, she's mine. I made the right choice!

* * *

**Author's Note**

Awkward situations... they're awkward.

I would very much enjoy knowing your opinion. Mind leaving a review? I'll give you 500 e-galleons for one! :)


	106. Chapter 106

_**One Hundred Six**_

_McGonagall_

Dumbledore

Sprout

_Flitwick_

**Slughorn

* * *

**

_They're gone…_

The nightmare's over!

On the contrary. The nightmare is just beginning. We've let them loose, now.

Not my problem anymore! Oh, how nice it is to say that!

_What are we supposed to do with ourselves? There are no traps set out for us, no party set up in the staffroom…_

_What to do with ourselves now is not the question. The question is: what will we do with ourselves next year?_

Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Do you know how much free time we'll have? How much more sleep we'll get? I might even get to NAP again!

_A nap? What is that? I've forgotten!_

**Why would you be napping during school hours, anyway?**

Because I'm usually fairly up-to-date on my paperwork and can afford to take one when I don't have a class. I'm sure it's a feeling you aren't familiar with.

**What are you implying?**

Implying? Am I implying anything?

_I didn't see any implications!_

**Of course YOU didn't!**

_Now what are YOU implying, Horace?_

_Ah, should have seen that coming!_

**I hate it when she does that!**

_Stop setting yourself up for it, then!_

Oh, gracious! We don't have to be worried about being set up for pranks anymore!

_You must admit that those four came up with some impressive twisting of words._

Did anyone else notice that that twisting of words became more intelligent in the past year?

_That's because Evans helped them. Unknowingly, likely, but she did._

**We won't be calling her 'Evans' much longer!**

Ah, how true! What date did they set? I've forgotten.

_The wedding's set for two and a half months from now!_

That came up fast!

_Did it really? I hadn't noticed._

_A real life Romeo and Juliet, no?_

_It better not end like the play!_

Agreed. We put in so much effort in and lost so much sleep… if they die young I'll be very upset over all that wasted time and worry.

_I found that comment to be highly inappropriate and not funny._

Please. You-Know-Who would only put up with them for two weeks, at most. Then they'd be thrown out.

_Thrown out? And you make it seem as if they'd accept!_

It's a hypothetical situation!

_Not really…_

Let's change the topic!

_Topic change… topic change… So… how about those Chudley Cannons?_

Uck! I can't even look at the color orange anymore. It's terrible.

**Do you remember when Mr. Potter and Mr. Black completely covered the Transfiguration corridor with Chudley Cannon posters?**

_...That worked?_

_I wish I could forget! That was horrible! I couldn't get them down for a week!_

Are you kidding? That was HILARIOUS!

_Oh yeah? What about the time they magically grew your Venemous Tentacula to the size of a greenhouse overnight?_

I almost lost two first years because of that!

_Did any of you have to deal with invisible flying forks for over a month? I don't think so!_

_Let that be a lesson to you._

Don't teach the invisibility charm on the same day you review levitating.

_That way you don't get pinned to your wall by invisible forces._

_That wasn't funny!_

You brought it up!

Didn't Miss Somnium think they were whakspurts?

_One will start to believe those sorts of things if one dates Xenophilius Lovegood._

_I'll remind you all that both Miss Somnium and Mr. Lovegood were exceptional students, if a bit out of the ordinary!_

_Did either of us call them unintelligent? I'm well aware of their smarts. Top notch students, they were!_

_All Ravenclaws are!_

Oh, I think I'll debate that. You went through Ravenclaw, didn't you?

_Ha ha._

_Now, now, Pomona. You're from Hufflepuff, but you've been known to sneak around your work and a friend or two._

No harm came from any of it, thank you!

_I'm no so sure about that. There was that time in fifth year that Rolanda didn't talk to you for over a month._

That's in the past.

_So is my time in school._

Did anyone ask you to interrupt this argument?

_Do I need permission?_

Yes.

_Yes._

_Then perhaps, in the future, you shouldn't argue where I can interrupt whenever I choose._

Or perhaps, in the future, you should quit while you're ahead and shut up.

_Have I ever even been ahead?_

Even if you had been, do you think they'd tell you?

_There's a fair point, Albus!_

A fair point indeed. By the way, I'm expecting someone here at about 9 o'clock tonight. So don't be alarmed…

_Why would we be alarmed?_

Never mind.

_Albus, who is coming?_

You'll see.

_ALBUS!

* * *

_

_**On the Train**_

James

**Sirius**

_Remus_

Peter

_**Lily

* * *

**_

Everyone did rig their doors, right?

**McGonagall and Flitwick were taken care of.**

_Yes, I sank to your level and got Slughorn._

I got Pomfery! And I didn't get caught!

_Good job, Peter!_

**Did you do your part, Prongs?**

Yes, I did. I got Dumbledore.

…**What about Sprout?**

_**I got her.**_

**Lily Evans! You really are one of us! I'm so proud!**

_**No one gets away with making jokes about me like that!**_

**I laughed.**

_**Well I have plenty of time to get you, Sirius.**_

How do you think they'll take it when we show up at 9 tonight?

**I can't wait!**

The Marauders return! Look out, Hogwarts!

_It's going to be great!_

_**I say we show up in our robes, just for giggles. What do you think they'll do, James?**_

Cry. It'll be awesome.

* * *

**Author's Note**

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Quit your flipping out! Did I say I was done yet?

Reviews be much appreciated! In fact, I'll trade you 700 e-galleons for one! Just don't tell the Aurors... apparently bribery like that is illegal or something. Or the way I got the galleons is illeg - ...Just don't tell the Aurors! ;)


	107. Finale

Here we are, one year, ten months, 560 pages, and 113,903 words later. All worldy things must come to an end at some point or another. This is the end of the end of my first fanfiction. Thank you all so much for sticking with me until the end! I honestly don't know how I could thank you enough. I've had so much fun with this story and read everything you have ever sent me.

You may be asking why it took me so long to update this last chapter. Firstly, I didn't want to end the story. Secondly, the computer that had "The Teachers' Notebook" saved onto it crashed and now refuses to turn on. In order to end the way I wanted to, I needed all the chapters compiled into one place and it took me a while to do.

One more request and I'll be done. Please, leave me a final review on this story.

Thank you so, so much!

* * *

_**One Hundred Seven - Final**_

Professor McGonagall, Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was exhausted. Two days, just two days, before end of the year exams would start. However, forty eight hours seemed far too long. As always happened near the end of the year, students became rather antsy. Surveying her class full of fourth years, McGonagall caught several students passing notes, napping, or doing anything but studying.

Deciding an example needed to be made, Professor McGonagall rose from her seat and walked over to a student particularly involved in his drawing. "Mr. Levi, is this what you call studying?"

"No, Professor," the boy said after a moment, realizing there was no escape.

McGonagall held out her hand. The boy grudgingly handed the paper over, his face beginning to turn red. The teacher went back to her desk and tossed the drawing of a tree with hearts and initials carved in it to the side. She was pleased to see that the rest of her students took the hint and their desire to look at their notes was revived.

Movement in the corner of McGonagall's eye caught her attention. She looked at the drawing she had taken. It had begun to morph. Lines turned to letters, all varying in style until words clearly formed. McGonagall cleared her throat to keep from choking as she looked more closely at the writing; it was familiar.

"Professor," one of the fourth years said bravely, "can we go now?"

McGonagall looked at her watch. "Yes, you may go. Let it be known that I'll have no pity on any of you if you're not satisfied with the grade you get on your exam," she said loudly as the students hurried to get out of the room.

The professor waited until the last student had left before grabbing the confiscated paper eagerly.

* * *

**Well, hello, Professor McGonagall!**

Hey! Look! It worked! …Did it? We only ever tried it up to an hour… five years is considerably longer…

**One hour… five years. Eh. **

_It's (hopefully) been a while. Perhaps we should point out who is who?_

Indeed we shall! In case you have forgotten my marvelous penmanship after all the lines I had to write for you, Professor, I am James Potter, also known as Prongs by my closest of friends.

**I am Padfoot, sometimes known as Sirius. **

_I'd be highly offended if you forgot my writing, Professor. However, for sake of keeping you from offending someone aloud, I am Remus Lupin._

**No you're not! You're Moony!**

_Yes, I am frequently called that._

Peter Pettigrew here! I go by Wormtail, though I could never quite figure out why…

Are you serious, Pete? We've told you at least fifty times.

**Oy! Where's the Mrs.?**

_**I'm not a missus quite yet, Sirius. **_

Lily! I thought you wouldn't be joining us?

_**Who told you that?**_

**-whistling-**

_**Sirius!**_

**Anyway! At this point, Professor, you may be wondering why we have written this. **

Actually, right now, we're writing it…

**Technicality. No one cares about those.**

_Back to the point, Padfoot!_

**Point! Right! Well, by now it has hopefully been five years since our graduation.**

Oh, I'd hate it if it were sooner… Can you imagine if this shows up after an hour?

_Let's not imagine such a terrible scene, shall we?_

**Back to the point! We thought that now might be a safe time to confess to a few things.**

_**Shocking, isn't it? They still have things to own up to.**_

**You do too, Prongset, hush your mouth!**

_**I hate it when you call me that…**_

**Shouldn't have called Remus 'Moony', then, should you have?**

_**And what do I have to own up to?**_

Think about our last day in the castle, Lily. What did we just do a few minutes ago?

_**Oh! That's right. Perhaps I should confess to that a little bit later?**_

_No! We're saying that one last. _

**Ok, let's move on. We're probably making her nervous. Have we made you nervous yet, Professor?**

Come on, Lily. You first.

_**Why do I have to go first?**_

Because we'll take longer!

_**Fine!**_

_**Professor, if you wouldn't mind informing Professor Sprout that it was I that charmed her door to sing "Never Gonna Give You Up" every time it opened and closed, that'd be great. I would hate for James to continue to get credit for my brilliance. Please also inform her that I am not now, and never have been, pregnant.**_

**Great job, Potter! **

_**Heaven's sake, Sirius! I'm not married to James yet!**_

**Eh. Close enough. Moving on!**

Where should we start?

_Let's talk about the Christmas party, second year._

**A great idea, Mr. Moony! Professor, do you remember that one staff party when you dueled the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher? We may have 'accidentally' snuck into that… Snuck? Sneak? Sneaked? Sneakily? **

What?

Don't have a heart attack yet! The fun's only beginning!

What next, Remus?

_The Stash._

Very good idea, Moony! Professor, do you remember when Madame Hooch lost her Quidditch gloves?

**Or when Professor Sprout's hat mysteriously disappeared?**

Or when your secret Ginger Newt stash disappeared along with Slughorn's Crystalized Pineapple stash you'd hidden with it?

**This may have gone unnoticed, but a pair of Dumbledore's socks just went 'poof' one day…**

Or maybe you remember the time when Professor Slughorn's "special concoction" vanished before you and Professor Sprout could steal it away from him?

_All that stuff can be found up in our dorm. We were on the seventh floor. There's a bit of wall, 23 bricks up and 11 bricks to the left on the west side of the room, that kind of turns into a cabinet. Open that up and feel free to return any of the contents within! Also, if you were ever curious as to what we were writing about during classes, several pages of notes are there, as well._

What else should we confess to? We're on a roll, here!

_**How about the secret passage ways?**_

**Brilliant! Floating around somewhere among the number of confiscated items in Flich's office is a map we spent many years making. **

Peeves helped.

Anyway, this map revealed to us everyone's location in the castle and, conveniently, every secret passageway in the school, including the ones out of it.

**We may have gone to Hogsmeade a few more times than all the other students…**

What else?

**James managed to blow up Umbridge's diary before we got the chance to get anything good out of it.**

That was an ACCIDENT!

**You pointed your wand at the thing and said "Incendio!"**

I was aiming for your Transfiguration essay.

**Bull.**

_Speaking of Umbridge, I lied in third year. James, Sirius, and Peter were with me when Umbridge came to visit. _

**Anything else?**

I dunno… I think it might be time to move onto the big one.

_**Brace yourself, Professor. **_

Shall I say this one?

**Be my guest!**

_You started the whole thing. _

Go ahead, James!

Do you remember, when we were in first year, when one of your notebooks disappeared?

_**And then reappeared in my desk weeks later?**_

Lily, my turn to talk!

Anyway… we had always heard the tale of 'The Teachers' Notebook' and I saw you writing in the same notebook quite frequently. I borrowed it for an indefinite amount of time without permission. We copied and returned it. For the next year we desperately tried to figure out how to open it. Finally, halfway through second year, we figured out your password.

_Have you any idea where this is going Professor?_

**Are you chasing us down yet?**

So we opened the Notebook in third year, and ever since then have been reading it faithfully. This is how we always knew more than you thought, how we found out about the Order, how we got prank inspirations…

**Everything.**

_If you're going to kill us, we'd appreciate a few minutes' warning. _

On the bright side, if you open your top left desk drawer, you should find the Notebook we 'borrowed.'

_If the charms we placed worked correctly. _

_**Now, Professor, when we see you at the next Order of the Phoenix meeting, we'll be happy to talk to you about this!**_

**Meaning we'll be thrilled to let you yell at us until you go hoarse. **

Maybe the Order's not needed anymore!

…**Then what am I supposed to do with myself? Professor, did I take down Trixie? Oh, I hope I bring her down.**

Let's invite Trixie to the wedding! What do you say, Lily?

_**If you do invite her, be sure to tell her it starts three hours later than it actually does. That way we can get through the actual ceremony and at least start the reception before she and her "friends" show up.**_

**You kidding? They can be our entertainment! Have I called dibs on Best Man today yet?**

_Yes, you did, Sirius. You woke us all up to tell us so. Don't you remember?_

**Ah, that was a great moment of mine. **

_Where did you even get that horn from?_

**I never reveal my suppliers!**

_Frank got it for you, didn't he?_

…**Maybe.**

**What about godfather? Have I called dibs on that yet today?**

_**Yes, you did. You woke ME up to tell me so!**_

**That was an even greater moment of mine. P.S. I'm with James. James Jr. sounds like a great name! I would prefer Sirius Jr., actually. But that can be your second born's name.**

_**I've told you both to leave it alone for now! Besides, I'll be the mother. I'll choose the name. And I like Harry.**_

James is a stronger name.

**I'll have no godson of mine being called Harry!**

_Oh, look! Here you come, Professor! _

Oh, who knew we weren't supposed to be passing notes? I wasn't aware that this was a review day!

**Professor, you've cut the joy of reading this note down. For now it is time for us to say farewell. **

Or maybe not! Maybe we'll see you in a few hours!

_**But for the time being, goodbye!**_

So long, fare well!

**Bye-bye, Professor!**

We'll be seeing you, someday!

_I hope we haven't driven you too far up the wall! Good bye, Professor!

* * *

_

Professor McGonagall was not sure how long she stared at the paper or how many times she read it over. How ironic the whole thing was.

For years she had suspected all the things her most troublesome students had confessed to, even the Notebook. While the confirmation was disturbing, it was also rather amusing. McGonagall opened her top left drawer to discover not one, but two copies of her Notebook. The professor allowed herself to smile at their cleverness. They had stolen her Notebook and kept it hidden fairly well for seven years. It was really quite impressive.

McGonagall slammed her fist down on her desk and looked up at the ceiling. Dumbledore! He had known! Of course he had known, tricky old man that he was. He'd always given the boys that piercing "I know what you're thinking" look whenever they were in trouble. McGonagall made a mental note to bug the Headmaster later.

Quite suddenly, McGonagall's mood changed drastically as she thought of just how much irony was in the single sheet of paper she held.

Sirius had been dubbed James' Best Man. Lily had won the name battle, and Harry James Potter had become Sirius' godson. The Order of the Phoenix was no longer necessary. However, that was only because James and Lily were dead. Sirius had betrayed them and then killed poor Peter himself. No one knew where Remus had gone; he had simply disappeared after the funerals. On occasion he would send Dumbledore a letter letting the Headmaster know he was still alive.

Harry Potter, the son of one of the brightest students and one of the most challenging students ever to pass through Hogwarts, had survived the killing curse when he was only a baby. This boy, who would have been pampered and loved more than could be understood, had been sent off to live with his aunt who would no doubt hate him. He would not ever get the love and attention he should have.

Professor McGonagall had never been one for crying. Tears were silly and useless; they accomplished nothing. However, as she read the note left to her one last time, she felt a string in her eyes and something run down her face.

Quickly, before she could change her mind, McGonagall held the paper over her lit candle and watched it burn. Dwelling on the past would not help. The note would only ever remind her of her once beloved students that were all dead or gone.

"Sirius, I hope you burn, just like this paper you wrote on," McGonagall said with a mixture of disappointment and venom. In a much sadder and subdued voice she added, "Good bye Remus, Peter, Lily, and James."

The candle went out as a slight gust of wind came in from the window, blowing the ashes of the note all over Professor McGonagall's paper ridden desk, leaving a cold, dark, and lonely feeling about the classroom.


End file.
